Questions about your relationship...

[latinabutch]

I like deep questions, profound questions. I like the kind of
questions that when asked and answered turn my view of the
subject completely on its head. I like questions that give me
goose bumps, or maybe leave me bewildered and confused for a
while because they bring up such complexity.

Here are a couple... Please feel free to share or comment...

1. What do you REALLY want from a love relationship, so much
so that it makes you want to be in the a relationship?

2. What does your partner have to do for you/to you/with you
in order for you to feel loved and to feel that being in a
relationship is worthwhile?

[Butchie]

Wow! My therapist asked me virtually the same questions a few months ago.

Q: 1. What do you REALLY want from a love relationship, so much
so that it makes you want to be in the a relationship?

A: Reciprocity - I want to be able to give as much as I receive - I want to receive as much as I give.

Q: 2. What does your partner have to do for you/to you/with you
in order for you to feel loved and to feel that being in a
relationship is worthwhile?


A: See answer to Q 1 above.

Last summer, I went to the mountain and asked Creator to send me someone I could love - someone who would be able to love me equally in return. I said I was tired of messing around with all this other stuff and I wanted a woman I could freely commit myself (flesh, heart and soul) to. (therapist and I had long ago reasoned - I have/had commitment issues) I had a very long talk with Creator and left it there. I made no promises or deals or bargains for my wish - I just left it there on that mountain. I didn't ask for physical beauty - but, in my mind I knew that I wanted a woman who is femme. I didn't ask that she be kind, passionate or compassionate - I knew that Creator knows me and would know what I needed.

Well, lo and behold - Creator listened to me. Sent me (*ME* a mere speck - no less than a speck - in the great scheme of the universe) a woman who has set my soul on fire. Creator sent me a woman who not only understands me to the depth of my soul - the very core of my being - but she is beautiful inside and out. She has these hazel eyes that change with her mood - fiery like the wolf and sexy and understanding and passionate and compassionate. She gives me what I give her. My dreams are nolonger empty.

R - E - C - I - P - R- O - C - I - T - Y - such a simple concept - yet ..

I would never ever be so arrogant to ask for anything else as long as I live.

Thanks for listening -
Butchie

[Rainbow Skittles]

And Butchie, you know you are Creator's gift to me as well....

I have wanted someone who is intelligent, compassionate, (definately a butch)...someone who loves me and encourages me to be all I can be.

I was almost willing to settle for someone who constantly minimized who I was, didn't hold the same values that I did, and did not love all the qualities worth loving in me.

I think the search can be hard....you run the risk of being labeled "fickle" just because you know what you want and you know when you are with someone who is not "it".

I count my blessings everyday that I have found my soulmate, the woman who will walk next to me, not in front or behind. A butch who is comfortable with being a butch and does not have to be theatrical about their butchness...a woman who loves all of me....

There is so much more...but I have been rambling enough as it is!

[Lady K]

1. what i REALLY want from a love relationship is passion, compassion, and a playful power exchange. i want a warrior who can match my strength and is not threatened by mine.

2. my partner needs to do these things in order for me to feel loved and to feel that being in a relationship is worthwhile:
-- respect me
-- communicate with me
-- pay attention to me
-- have patience and be compassionate
-- be considerate of my time and energy
-- compromise
-- make love to me on the regular and let me do the same (in the special way i do)
-- allow me to spoil them
-- accept me for who i am, and that means never forget that i'm your queen and you need to treat me as such *laugh*
-- find things to do that we like to do together and then do them
-- make plans and follow through
-- pull your own weight, but know when to ask for help and admit when you need to lean on me

i could keep going, but this was all that just sprang in my head....

good topic, LB.

much love,
lady k

[Cre8tiveFemme]

Want to I want from a relationship? This should answer both. Well, I want someone that is romantic, empathetic, passionate, loving, and knows how to communicate. I want to "feel" that they love me. Love wakes someone up at 3am, in the freezing cold, to put gas in your car..just so you dont have to. I do require a lot of attention, but I also respect our space. You can't make someone love you, but you will know when someone does or does not! I guess I want everything from a relationship. I want my relationship to be able to fullfill me...sexually, intellectually, and emotionally.

[Cre8tiveFemme]

Originally posted by Cre8tiveFemme
Want to I want from a relationship?

Man, I cant seem to spell these days.
Correction -> What do I want from a relationship?

[ragazzo247]

Nice thread.


What do I want from a relationship?

Well, considering I am very gun shy about "traditional" relationships, I would want the personal freedom I need. I do not want someone to smother and sufficate me. I have to define my own relationship.



What would she have to do.. .. ??

I need her to be strong, independent, challenging. I need her to show that even though both of us have quirks and walls, things can still be fun and playful. She would have to have a very open mind, since I am a different kind of boi.

[Kane]

Originally posted by latinabutch


1. What do you REALLY want from a love relationship, so much
so that it makes you want to be in the a relationship?

what i want in a love relationship would be...feeling and being in love, feeling equal, nothing more nothing less, no one is better than the other, no one is felt to be inferior..its all about give and take for me..not take take take...
if the other person does nothing but take...eventually the giver...is left there standing..without breath, with out oxygen..without any sort of energy..whatsoever...


2. What does your partner have to do for you/to you/with you
in order for you to feel loved and to feel that being in a
relationship is worthwhile?

what does my partner have to do for me...umm my partner doesn't HAVE to do anything but be honest, open and able to communicate..about feelings, emotions and heartfelt actions..i know it takes time for alot of doors and walls to be opened and broken down...and you probably will not KNOW everything there needs to know about the other person..but i deserve to have HONESTY, TRUST and REAL LOVE in my relationship...

what does my partner have to do to me..umm i want my partner to make me feel special, take me somewhere on the spur of the moment, not alot of money needs to be spent, i'm not about that, i'm' about making the most out of what we have together and seeing how...even little trips to wallmart..can be fun and exciting, crazy and wild...and full of more soft, sensual compassionate moments..there could be..even though we are just walking up and down the aisles

what does my partner have to do with me...ummm
ok i will be selfish onthis one...i want my partner to snuggle, hugg, kiss, and want to be with ME and only ME...

i guess thats not TOO much to ask...

saying all of the above...
my relationship is pretty close to perfect...

love you honey...

K

[RaggedyAnn]

Originally posted by latinabutch
I like deep questions, profound questions. I like the kind of
questions that when asked and answered turn my view of the
subject completely on its head. I like questions that give me
goose bumps, or maybe leave me bewildered and confused for a
while because they bring up such complexity.

Here are a couple... Please feel free to share or comment...

1. What do you REALLY want from a love relationship, so much
so that it makes you want to be in the a relationship?

2. What does your partner have to do for you/to you/with you
in order for you to feel loved and to feel that being in a
relationship is worthwhile?

Q.1. I want to be loved.
Q.2. Want to spend time with me. Doing whatever or nothing at all just talking.
I don't do alone time well.

[FrostieOne]

1. What do you REALLY want from a love relationship, so much
so that it makes you want to be in the a relationship?

communication
patience and compassionate
compromise
affectionate
understand me for me, not for who they think I should be.
Loyal
Open with feeling's
ability not to just hear what I am saying but to listen.


2. What does your partner have to do for you/to you/with you
in order for you to feel loved and to feel that being in a
relationship is worthwhile?

See above list and I will move mountains for love. If not. I lose respect and walk away. A mirror refection I give back what I get.

Love for the right woman has no depths it will not go. No ocean to wide to cross, no blizzard to bad for me not to make my way to her. But without trust I will not recept if I do not respect. There can be no relationship

[TainoWarrior_1]

I ended a seven year relationship and went crazy dating and party hard for two years. I though I was looking for love but I was really working out my hurt and anger. I stoped and took a look at myself. I sat by my alter and chanted my daily mantras and gather with other Buddhist freinds in faith for guidence.

I prayed for clarity and peace. I also prayed for a life time partner.
I was specific as to what I wanted in my partner.

1. Equality
2. Balance
3. Honesty
4. Faithful
5. Physically and emotionaly healthy
6. loving,compassionate and communicative
7. Spiritaul and wise
8. Very romantic and sexual
9. Beautiful out side and beautiful inside
10. Smart

I did not ask for what I am not willing to give. My prayer was answered on January16,2003. I am engaged to a wonderful lady whom I love with all my heart and I feel the same love from her.
We enjoy all these beautiful attributes in our relationship becuase we are of the same mind and same heart. It would be my blessing to share my mature years with her.

TainoWarrior

[princessakittygirl w/meow]

Ive found while what we want may influence where we might look for love, when we find someone who rawks our world, most thoughts of she/he needs to be this way or that, go flying out the window.

I think before you can find that perfect love for you, you have to think well of yourself, be comfortable with who you are, and feel good about the direction your going in. Feeling any less than that might leave you vunerable to falling for someone who may be ultimately not good for you.

While finding a mate is a natural preocupation we all have. Chemistry shouldnt rule, but it often does. If we are in a good headspace, the chances are good, we will be attracted to others who are too.

Its hard to have the discipline to work out the kinks in your own armor, before pursuing that damsel in distress, be careful out there, the dragon pursuing her might be a safer bedfellow than she is ..

princessa de meow~

[Princess2003]

Originally posted by latinabutch
I like deep questions, profound questions. I like the kind of
questions that when asked and answered turn my view of the
subject completely on its head. I like questions that give me
goose bumps, or maybe leave me bewildered and confused for a
while because they bring up such complexity.

Here are a couple... Please feel free to share or comment...

1. What do you REALLY want from a love relationship, so much
so that it makes you want to be in the a relationship?

2. What does your partner have to do for you/to you/with you
in order for you to feel loved and to feel that being in a
relationship is worthwhile?

I want a friend. Someone to laugh, cry, and just hang with. Also a lover who knows me well and what I like. Someone who will let me live my dreams and fulfill my goals but also share part of my life with me.

The most important thing my partner could do for me is treat me with respect (unless we're playing together and agree to something else)--and never, ever betray my trust. I also want to note that I do not mind my partner to have ex's as friends but they should especially not betray my trust with one of them. My expectations: to have at least one romantic night a week.

That's all for now. muah to you LB...hope all is well...ciao

[latinabutch]

These are all very important views.. I thank you all for sharing your thoughts and desires... Keep them coming..
A big kiss to you Princess... You are one hell of a classy lady...

[chosetodance]

1. What do you REALLY want from a love relationship, so much
so that it makes you want to be in the a relationship?

i want to be utterly known..... and i want to know..... utterly.
two wholes.... not two halves....
this requires being willing to know yourself....
and then....... you will have something to share with (give to) another.

2. What does your partner have to do for you/to you/with you
in order for you to feel loved and to feel that being in a
relationship is worthwhile? [/B][/QUOTE]

they listen, they ask, they notice, they pay attention.... so that they can learn how to love me........ all of me... and then they do it, no holding back. and....... they teach me how to love them...... so that they feel it...... always. all ways. with no doubt.
(you have to be willing to love yourself for this to happen - again, love is a verb... it requires action)

the greatest gift you'll ever know.......... is to love.......
and be loved in return......

[Frost]

1. What do you REALLY want from a love relationship, so much
so that it makes you want to be in the a relationship?

communication
patience and compassionate
compromise
affectionate
understand me for me, not for who they think I should be.
Loyal
Open with feeling's
ability not to just hear what I am saying but to listen.


2. What does your partner have to do for you/to you/with you
in order for you to feel loved and to feel that being in a
relationship is worthwhile?

See above list and I will move mountains for love. If not. I lose respect and walk away. A mirror refection I give back what I get.

Love for the right woman has no depths it will not go. No ocean to wide to cross, no blizzard to bad for me not to make my way to her. But without trust I will not recept if I do not respect. There can be no relationship

6 months ... I found everything I listed.... Make wishes... they come true

[softwhyspers]

What do you REALLY want from a love relationship, so much
so that it makes you want to be in the a relationship?

1. I want someone who is willing to take the time to know me..
2. to know what makes me tick....
3. who is willing to except every aspect of me not just what they like...
4. someone who is willing to be with me as i am not try to change me and make me into something i am not..
5. someone who is willing to look deep inside and know how to handle what S/he sees there
6. someone who is willing to communicate like an adult, open, honest and without the yelling
7. someone i can hold to their word.. I know when they open their mouth they are not lying to me
8. someone who would never be physically or mentally abusive
9. someone who doesn't have double standards
10 someone who honestly believes that you should treat someone how you want to be treated and follow through with it

What does your partner have to do for you/to you/with you
in order for you to feel loved and to feel that being in a
relationship is worthwhile?

1. be honest
2. not be accusitory
3. be compassionate
4. be willing to hold me when i need it
5. to know when i need to be guided and when i need to try on my own
6. to know that when i need my family it is ok for me to visit not keep me caged
7. to trust me enough to know that i know where i belong
8. to be loving
9. to be comfortable enough to just be able to sit and snuggle on the couch watching tv or a movie without talking
10. to be secure in her/himself enough to do things seperately as well as together
11. to know me well enough to know what i am going to say before i say it
12. to want me to be the best i can be and not be afraid of it

I am sure there are more but those are the ones that quickly pop into my head... great thread!!!!!!!!

[Taking a chance]

Hey Lovebugs! I have a full fabulous life. Lots of friends who stood by me when my long-term relationship ended, new friends who have brought joy, comfort and goofiness into my life. A spiritual relationship with a power greater than myself. A challenging, honorable job. A small, but slowly getting more beautiful apartment in a fabulous location. Many, many gifts. And, I do go out on dates. According to Sarah, my neighbor and sister-friend, more dates than she and her four other friends go out on! On each date I learn a little more about what I want, and about what I don't want. It's so hard, really hard. I decided that I wasn't going to get busy with anyone that I didn't think there was the potential for something serious, and that makes it hard for me to let butches know that I think they're groovy.

All of this means that I don't really know what I want. (You may assume I'm dating garden-variety butches, perhaps metrosexual, but rarely wearing matching earrings and nail polish.) I like to chat, and I like folks who like to chat. I'm warm and friendly and cuddly, so I'd like someone who's comfortable with touch (and I know someone who isn't). Sine qua non, no heavy drinking or drugging. Reads a lot, thinks a lot, patient with my fear that once I show myself, they will disappear, so it takes me time to share my tender insides. Progressive politics. Maybe I should ask you what I should watch out for?