huuuuui! e nei! ma hea 'oukou?!
come out, come out wherever you are!
i'm not even sure if there is ANYONE from Hawai`i on here (besides me) but if you are, please post. there certainly is a culturally unique butch-femme dynamic in Hawai`i and i would love to talk about it with some people. any takers?
...i have a feeling this might be a lonely post...
irie
*waves across the ocean to you* I miss hawai'i! *pout*
ALOHA! ALOHA!
Indeed. There are some of us on the islands~~
Eating Masubi and watching the I'iwi,
Cherry
Wow- Three Of Us!!!
Hi Hi Hi...
Femme in Honolulu here- thanks for posting this Irie! (and guiding me to this thread)- Born and raised- what about you all?
Nothing like being a local girl, I know!!!
i'm from honolulu - what about you guys? (grrls?)
what have been ur experiences with the b-f community here (in hawai`i) in real time? i personally haven't seen much cohesion between femmes or butches and i feel like a lot of women who partner with butches here tend to be 'straight girls' (and most end up with men in the end). however, i do feel that the b-f dynamic is the most prominent lesbian partnership in hawai`i which semes to be different than other areas. although, i think that this is true only for the local population - the clash between military lesbians and local ones is certainly a whole other topic.
also, has anyone ever been invovled with "na mamo"? it's a now-defuncted group focused on lesbian identity in native hawaiian society and culture (historic and contemporary). a woman named ku`umealoha used to head it up, i think. or, are you guys invovled with other lesbian groups?
i'm glad i got a couple of responses to this. i think that there is lots to chat about so hopefully i'll be hearing from you all soon.
malama pono `oukou, lanakila no hawai`i!
irie
Ms Irie!!!
Hi Irie!
I am currently attached to only my second relationship with a butch identified woman but she doesn't live here so I am wondering if I am qualified to comment on your inquiry-still, I particularly felt this part of your post:
I have to agree with this, just from what I see. Maybe it is because b-f couples are just that much more visible? I don't know... My experience here has been limited- my other female gay friends I know from college (UH) or they don't live here. It is hard to find community here, especially with women! I would like to though...however, i do feel that the b-f dynamic is the most prominent lesbian partnership in hawai`i which seems to be different than other areas.
I have not been a part of the group Ku'ume was a part of, but I am acquainted with her from UH. It has been years! She is a really neat lady.
I haven't been to Garters since they moved from Che Pasta- I know, long time! How is the new location? Is it much bigger?
Thanks for posting- nice to learn about someone local!!!
Hugs~ Chelle
I have an ex that is Hawaiian, does that count? I was supposed to fly over in October, but that didn't go over. But I am planning to go back over with her to see her family soon. I just can't wait until I get leighed by a beatiful Hawaiian !!
Just because you cant see something, doesnt mean it cant kill you...
Hey Valek-
Any connection to Hawai'i is good- you know they say once you have a local girl....
So your "ex" is from here? You have never been here then?
Thanks for posting- that "leigh" thing was funny!
~Chelle
hey hey!
Hawai'i raised wahine here....
My mothers family is from Hawai'i... Kailua and Kaneohe area..
I've been gone from the islands for a few years... went to the mainland in high school.
I go back once a year to see my family though!
~Shan
and Valek........ ooooooooooooh im tellinnnnnnnnnnnnnn
hehe
Yes my ex is from Hawaii. Last March was her first time back there since she was 2 years old for her sister's wedding. She is planning on going back in the near future and asked me to go along this time. Dont really know though, i'm scared of flyingOriginally posted by lokele44
Hey Valek-
Any connection to Hawai'i is good- you know they say once you have a local girl....
So your "ex" is from here? You have never been here then?
Thanks for posting- that "leigh" thing was funny!
~Chelle
Just because you cant see something, doesnt mean it cant kill you...
I have friends in Kaneohe that were really involved in softball and vollyball at hawaii pacific,,their kids are now 2nd generation at castle hight in kaneohe,,Im called their haole daughter,,lol
Originally posted by Valek
Yes my ex is from Hawaii. Last March was her first time back there since she was 2 years old for her sister's wedding. She is planning on going back in the near future and asked me to go along this time. Dont really know though, i'm scared of flying
my 1st trip on a plane was to hawaii,,some airlines offer u a movie for a small fee,,that helped me alot,,go ,,u will never regret it,its the most wonderful place I have ever been and given the change to live there I would in a heartbeat
Love All Of These Connections...
~Tigress: Nice to hear from a local girl! (you know, you always will be no matter where you move to or how long you stay away)...
~Valek: Ahhh, flying- it really isn't that bad- depending on where you are coming from, I would just take something to knock you out or some music you like or something. I tend to get airsick so I nibble on some ginger snaps- ginger is good for that sort of thing... Plus I am a smoker so all those hours of nicotine cravings- yikes! It is truly worth it though- you will love Hawai'i... If you do come again give me a shout and I would be glad to give you tips on where to go or maybe have lunch with you and your ex- btw, I LOVE that it is your EX you are going to come with!!! How does your "current" feel about it all?
~Luvin: Hi!!! I love to see that someone used the word "haole" here- lol! When was the last time you were here? So why is it that you aren't here now again???
All these windward connected people- I am from that side too so I know Kailua and Kaneohe very well...
Thanks to Irie for starting this thread- I also always thought I was the "only one" from Hawai'i- small world!!!
Hugs~ Chelle
My family there are Konoho,,know them>?? lol,...da rock aint dat big sistah,,lol
I'm freezing my ass off!
Damn! Am i jealous of you guys! I have visited once and would like to return forever! Even though so far this has started off as a mild winter.....I'm still not digging it.
lokele44-
I really havent talked to my gf about this yet. She knew I was going to go in Oct before and she had no problem with it. Now she knows alittle more about my ex, and knows how she is. I can promise her though there is nothing between us now. She'll always be there for me no matter what and vise versa.
But when the time comes, yeah I would love to meet up with you and have lunch. As soon I find out which island we'll be going to. LOL
~Val
Just because you cant see something, doesnt mean it cant kill you...
Hi Luvin!~ Can't say that I heard of the Kanoho 'Ohana but the name sounds familiar- I am better with faces than names... Have you ever been here for the holidays? Remember all the food??? I am waxing nostalgic because I am probably going to move to be with my Butch sometime next year (he is in Grad school in Memphis)- I am going to miss home!!!
LilTomboy~ Come back, Sweetheart! The past week has been rainy but it is still low 80s during the day- today is sunny and nice! Did you stay on 'Oahu?
Valek~ Believe me, I understand the "ex" situation. I actually have one staying with me right now for two weeks! My current is trusting of me so it is ok, but I know he is not comfortable with the situation. People have asked me before why I stay in such close proximity to my ex partners and I just feel like I shared so much of my life with each and every one of them and grew to care so much that I just can't dump them even if I don't want to be romantic anymore... Yeah let me know which island you will be on!
Everyone Have a Great Thanksgiving!!!
~Chelle
Nope! I stayed on Maui in Khe Hei....how's my spelling? Bad I bet!
I will be back I just dont know when!
Close Enough
LTB~
Kihei on Maui- sweet. Did you see whales???
what have been ur experiences with the b-f community here (in hawai`i) in real time?
What a GREAT THREAD!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I was hoping someone could explain the b-f community here on this isalnd to me.
I have met some people who look and act very, VERY "butch". They seem to even FLIRT w. me. All of these "butch" people are married with children.
I have a femme friend who was asked to be a "closet affair". The married butch who wanted her asked her to "be" with her and respect her closet and her husband and her kids. The married butch told my femme friend "she could not live the life she wanted to have b/c of her family".
My femme friend told the married butch to jump in the ocean.
I am all for diversity, but I see a lot of fear here and I am not sure where it is coming from. Many butches I have met seem so uncomfortable. (And as for some femmes I have met, they tell me they are really het. and it is only a phase they are going thru.) OUCH!!!
I have met some cool femmes who are out, but I am not in their age group. Bummer.
I am not involved in any "lesbian" or "butch-femme" group. If I knew of any, I would join. I am not a joiner, but the isolation is starting to get to me.
Everytime I think my gaydar is working...they turn out to be heterosexual. Or...maybe they are gay but doing the closet thing. It is very very odd. I used to have excellent gaydar, but here on the isalnd~~ I seem to have lost my touch.
Great Post. I cannot wait to hear what ya'll have to say. <<grin>>
[COLOR=red]CHerry[COLOR=red]
Simply My Opinion...
Hi CherryFemme!
I wanted to respond accordingly to your inquiry- having been born and raised in Hawaii and knowing some about the people here, I can only do an educated guess about why I think you have encountered such a "different" vibe here in the islands.
I feel that much of it is cultural. I have gay friends who are ethnically Asian, Hawaiian, African American, and Caucasian. I have found that the local people are less likely to be "flag wavers" -in the sense of being very openly "out". I think that this runs the gamut in other areas of life as well- local people rarely talk about sexuality issues, things like that are simply not discussed as much- the ones I know anyway seem to be more outwardly conservative on those issues... Regarding my Caucasian friends, particularly those who were not raised here, there has been more of a "Pride" attitude about their sexuality~ such as with parades, organizations, etc.
I hate to use such broad general terminology about big groups of people but I do think that much of it is cultural- not necessarily that local people are ashamed about who they are- not at all- but we just express it differently.
I would love to know what other people think about this subject...
Re the married butches- that phenomenon is foreign to me, especially the side salad business!
We should have lunch sometime, Cherry. I know what you mean about being a part of some group- it feels good to be validated somehow and know that you are not alone!
~Chelle
<<grin>> Thanks for your reply. I am sorry if I gave the impression I needed a parade. I don't. I was just surprised at the married butch phenomenon. I have never encountered that in any of the states/countries that I have lived in. It is interesting tho’.
My little post was in reference to Irie's original question on butch/femme...and just a personal expereince. I thought I would ask if anyone eles noticed the married butch thing as well.
I am glad to hear that you, as a local, never ran into it. I must say, it was shocking at first, and kind of distressing the more occurances I have with the sub-group. It is VERY good to hear that it is not a common thing, and it just is my luck here. (And the luck of my femme friend)
~~Cherry
insightful..... very...Originally posted by CherryFemme
<<grin>> Thanks for your reply. I am sorry if I gave the impression I needed a parade. I don't. I was just surprised at the married butch phenomenon. I have never encountered that in any of the states/countries that I have lived in. It is interesting tho’.
My little post was in reference to Irie's original question on butch/femme...and just a personal expereince. I thought I would ask if anyone eles noticed the married butch thing as well.
I am glad to hear that you, as a local, never ran into it. I must say, it was shocking at first, and kind of distressing the more occurances I have with the sub-group. It is VERY good to hear that it is not a common thing, and it just is my luck here. (And the luck of my femme friend)
~~Cherry
But we did see alot of sea turtles. And we went snorkeling off Molokini. It was great. I did not do alot of sightseeing, however. I just kinda plunked my ass on the beach for two weeks of R 'n' R. There were 26 of us all together and we had rented condos built by American Airlines pilots (my friend's grandfather worked for American and we got them for a steal). If there is one place on Earth I want my g/f to see....its Hawaii. The natural beauty blew me away. Next time I hope to see more and would like to stop at Pearl Harbor.
~Lokele
Feb. is when I'm heading over, or at least that is what I was told. Let you know alittle more later when I find out myself. LOL
Just because you cant see something, doesnt mean it cant kill you...
Valek~
Sounds good- just let me know!
TB~
Yeah, you have to come back and show your gf!
Happy Holidays Everyone!
~Chelle
Howzit. Here I am in Honolulu. Looking for friends to hang out with. You were right this post is kind of lonely.
aloha e kaleo...
is that ur given name? i know its not terribly uncommon, but i might know u from black garter. anyway, welcome.
i haven't posted since i opened this thread because i've been observing how easily the native culture is prostituted in our community and its disturbed me a bit. i think the "lei" thing is a prime example. anyone here kanaka maoli?
but, don't want to be a party pooper by any means, its good to see people on here talking. i just believe that a lot of issues having to do with sexuality in hawai`i have everything to do with colonization (including my original question about butch-femme in hawai`i). has anyone seen the documentary "ke kulana he mahu" about mtf transgendered identity in a colonial context (the clash of two different cultural value systems)? if not, check it out - it is very well done and i think its a good way to explore this issue in case anyone is interested. i've heard that the makers and some participants have been looking at doing another documentary about butch/ftm identity in hawai`i, which i really hope gets underway.
alrightee, that's all for now. i hope everyone is staying dry these days. good to see so many people here.
malama pono ia ko 'oukou mau kino,
irie
hope you all don't mind my sticking my nose in here...
i'm still confused by the islands so..please be pateint with me.
in oct 2000 i was on kona for about a week or so..and got connected with a gal there who had quite a few lesbian freinds. i wish i could tell yuo all if they wer b-f'res however i was still pretty deep in mourning at that time so i don't remember much. but i did feel rela comfortalbe woth those folks. they all were quite familar with eachother and semed to socialize quite a bit.
i was also on kauai hum might have spelled that wrong and i am going back there thsi coming june with my grrrl...we haven't traveled there togetehr and i am lookign forward to ti. is there any place we can escape my family? like in is there any kind of local b-f comminty or place to go? it's a family trip more or less but we do nto plan on spendign teh whole time with my family.
Lor
Aloha
I was on Oahu and Big Island from '93 until a couple years ago when my femme (we met in Honolulu) and I moved to California and then Eastward to MA...
I was very comfortable in Hawaii and would have stayed forever but my heart took me off the island even tho I left a part of it behind SIGH
I agree that there is a pretty strict "butch or femme" rule over there, and I felt very comfortable as an out butchie with my pretty femme wahine....it is lonely sometimes over here on the East Coast and I know I was spoiled by the aloha spirit of Live and Let Live although Im sure you notice the wierd mix of racism and missionary politics still floating around
I do remember the UH coalition Irie spoke of and also during the VOTE YES VOTE NO stuff with Mike Gabbard and his hateful collection of followers who brought alot of mainland Mormons and others over to make sure gay marriage didnt happen. Is Mike still around? He's such an ass****
I partyed with you guys at Black Garter...Judy Baker and Arlei Patterson !!!
Please say hello to them from those of us who remember and are now stuck state side :-(
Anyway, you are in the most beautiful place on Earth so I don't feel too sorry for ya LOL
Aloha and Namaste,
Jester
Mike Gabbard Story
Mike's team asked my landlord if he could post a VOTE FOR MIKE GABBARD poster on my rented fence. The landlord said yes. I called Mike and told him I did not want his poster anywhere near me. His team in Honolulu told me there was nothing I could do, since I was only a renter and did not own the ohana I rent OR the fence.
So I told them~~ Ok. Your right, I do not own the fence, but I do vote and you just lost mine. <<I was not going to vote for him anyway>>
Now... Once a week Mike puts a new sign on my fence... and in less than 24 hours it is down... and in my dumpster.
Thank you for letting me vent in here,
CherryFemme in the Valley Isle
ooh, yuck What is that SOB running for now?
He has that smooth smarmy, "smile in your face" thing down
Good looking and full of hate for anything he decides is "wrong" in God's eyes
Unfortunately, there are many on his side, during the time of the Vote YES or NO thing when they were trying to pass an ammendment in Hawaii to change the State Constitution, my friend just about lost an eardrum during protests the Mike Gabbard people blew whistles in everyone's ear while they held up their stupid signs and blocked traffic, that was the year Linda Lingle was running for governor, and I dressed up in drag and looked just like her LMAO
well anyway, good on you for taking his signs down
I used to get up at 5 am and pull down all the VOTE YES signs :-)
Keep the Faith and Don't let it get ya down!
ALOHA
Hello!
My g/f and I are getting married in our home state of Massachusetts and would like to plan a honeymoon in Hawaii. I was wondering if any of you ladies have any tips or advice on places to stay. We would like to stop at the Memorial at Pearl Harbor, maybe see the volcano on the Big Island, and maybe hit Maui. We plan on staying two weeks. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks!
LTB
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