Character Defects.

**Simple** · 07-11-2003, 10:31 AM

Character Defects.

We all have them.. I know I do.. And working on mine day by day has really become a way of living for me. Improving myself to be a better person is something I take pride in. I have this anger issue that when I think of something that makes me angry it takes control over my day and whom ever I spend my day with feels the wrath of that anger.

Resent is another one.. I hold grudges and resent for a long time..Regardless of how small or big the resent is.. Resent is something that I have worked on alot..Letting things go.
Especially toward family and loved ones.

Character Defects!
Do you have them?

What are they??? And how have you been trying to work on them.??

How have they affected others.??

Welcoming all advice and help on bettering ourselves as women!

Thank you everyone and Dont let anyone steal your JOY!

**BCtboi** · 07-11-2003, 10:45 AM

I have a really bad temper too. along with it comes a very short fuse. over the years, its gotten better, but when im stressed the short fuse comes back. When im in my really angry state, i do really vicious things...which is why im looking into some anger management classes.

BC

**Alisha_Love** · 07-11-2003, 10:46 AM

You missed the part where youre really mean and just a spiteful bitch Simple..LOLOLOL - kidding ...I luffa you.

Well, as for me...Im working on trying to be more forgiving. I have no problems cuttin people off. WHATSOEVER.

I was thinking about working on my temper and my quick mouth...but I decided that I like them, so they can stay.

Alisha
*Who's gonna sit and think about what she should fix.

**Simple** · 07-11-2003, 10:55 AM

Originally posted by Alisha_Love
You missed the part where youre really mean and just a spiteful bitch Simple..LOLOLOL - kidding ...I luffa you.

*Who's gonna sit and think about what she should fix.

Oh Yeaaaaa Lisha.Well the spiteful bitch part can come in handy with people I really dont give a shit about.. Bringing me back to my voodoo doll with the big head *poke * stab* ripping arm off doll ** LOL

In all seriousness Lisha .. I think I have had the luck of noticing that I too can fly off the handle.. I noticed that my temper has also toned down.. I am really quick with the tongue and can say really hurtful things at times..Not really caring about the other persons feelings..I know thats something that I have toned down..I need to work more on it tho' Lisha me luffa you just the way you are..

***Thank you BCTboi for your imput..Good luck & I can also add that what has helped me is thinking of the result of your anger what is left and what you have to deal with once you have calmed down..That has helped me..When I am trying to calm myself down.. (sigh.. didnt always work. but has saved alot of people from feeling the strength of my words)

Your gal Pal AL*

**BCtboi** · 07-11-2003, 10:58 AM

lol...i don't just say mean things, i do mean things. i did something really horrible this week, and i've realised that i need to change this. i don't want to lose another person because of my stupidity.

**salilus** · 07-11-2003, 11:00 AM

I'm sarcastic a little too often... I am getting better at keeping at bay until it's appropriate lol

**audacious1** · 07-11-2003, 11:01 AM

Simple...damnit! You KNOW I am going to have to derail this thread don't you?

My ass is already struggling to wrest the wheel from my saner self.

It's gonna be a train wreck! Good thing I have to run. Enjoy your thread while you can...

HEH

that's

MISTER Bent

**gaymer** · 07-11-2003, 11:03 AM

Character Defects!
Do you have them?

i do have have em... not many.. but some.

What are they??? And how have you been trying to work on them.??

i am a major procrastinator.

How have they affected others.??

procrastination: usually leads to my wife handling most of the household duties cause she gets frustrated waiting for my sorry ass to get in gear. which in turn leads to arguments about me not helping. or i rush projects and they come out crappy.

what i have been doing to work on them:
procrastination-
-making lists of what needs to be done around the house
-sticking to the list
-realizing that it's not fair for her to do everything
-realizing that there is less arguing if i just spend 20 min a day doing my part
-organizing at work better

**BCtboi** · 07-11-2003, 11:05 AM

ugh...i procrastinate too much as well. it gets kind of sad sometimes. my gf and i are working on it now. her stragety is to nag me into submission lol!

BC

**Simple** · 07-11-2003, 11:11 AM

BCTboi me too i said some horrible shyt as well. To an ex friend.. SHe called last night continuing to apologize and the resent kicked in.. I could of just been like "oh Ok lets hug and make up but NOOOOOOOOO I had to be stank and resentful. Even while she apologizes! But for some reason I don't think I made a bad decision in taking her back as a friend.. I just wish I would of not been so mean..

Sali: me as well hun I can be very sarcastic to the point that people can get extremely offended

Audi: Carajo..@#$%^&*() **Spanking Aud in the bootay..POWPOW POWPOW** You always being bad. Taking out the leather whip.!

Smooches AUdi. Do tell us about your character Defects AUdi..U know we all wanna know! Smooches to Mr Bent!

Well all go on ahead and post your little hearts away..Stepping away to lunch..ANd mail off this Birthday Card to someone I really hold resent for.. *Working on my resent* See you all later.!

Your Gal Pal Al*

**BCtboi** · 07-11-2003, 11:20 AM

Simple-
do you find yourself more angry when someone hurts you? thats generally when i lose it, and do things i really shouldn't.

i'd mention what i did, but the person i did it to visits this site, and i don't want to make it any worse.

**Simple** · 07-11-2003, 11:48 AM

Originally posted by BCtboi
Simple-
do you find yourself more angry when someone hurts you? thats generally when i lose it, and do things i really shouldn't.

i'd mention what i did, but the person i did it to visits this site, and i don't want to make it any worse.

Yup sure have.. Defense mechanism when some one is on the defense with you does or says something to hurt.I get sharp with the tongue and literally wanna cut them..

BCTboi..

you will be ok..Keep working on it.. Saying sorry alot of times makes you a better person. Also makes you feel better if you get the right response from the other person. But I see it this way (but you dont have to) If you are "RIGHT" either stick to your gunz or let it go.. As long as you know in your heart what's right or wrong..Dont continue to say or DO anything in the name of anger*

Silence is Golden BCTboi* Remember that honey

.. Now I have to keep saying that to myself

**BCtboi** · 07-11-2003, 12:03 PM

i said my last sorries to her last night...we have both hurt each other, and after what i did, its just best that i leave it alone.
i went too far with what i did, im past the point of no return so to speak.

i know im going to be ok...i did what i did, there's and i know i can't take it back, but i can take responsibility for my actions. i guess that's a step in the right direction as well to huh?

BC

**resqx** · 07-11-2003, 12:11 PM

simple....great thread...

i think everybody should post at least one thing here...as for me, i have no character defects..haha

no thats a long list and i woke up and found out im out of coffee

so ill have to come back with some more later.

but ill start with procrastination....big time

i drive myself (and other people) crazy with it...i put things off forever until they turn into catastrophies. i joke about it alot...even started the procrastinaters anonymous thread...but its a big problem

**audacious1** · 07-11-2003, 12:25 PM

Originally posted by Simple
Audi: Carajo..@#$%^&*() **Spanking Aud in the bootay..POWPOW POWPOW** You always being bad. Taking out the leather whip.!

Smooches AUdi. Do tell us about your character Defects AUdi..U know we all wanna know! Smooches to Mr Bent!

Your Gal Pal Al*

I'm thinking...I swear. There has got to be something. Other than thread derailment, that is.

*tapping pencil* hmmm...

I am not going to say ego, though I know there are plenty out there who want to write that one in for me. Of course I have a well formed ego, it goes with the territory, but, that is hardly a flaw (checks derailment progress)

res? wanna help me out here?

[actually on topic]
procrastination
tardiness
hard assed & sharp tongued
anal anal anal!!!
[/on topic]

Mr. Bent, still planning massive derailment

**quizzicalgrrl** · 07-11-2003, 12:27 PM

low tolerance for stupidity... wait is that an asset?

**resqx** · 07-11-2003, 12:33 PM

oh man, dont get me started on tardiness....im gonna be late to own funeral

aud....character defects?....you?....hehe...sure ill help you out

yep thread derailment is a biggie...and i always unwittenly end up helping you

whats up with that? so there you go...another one for aud to think about...instigator (spell check please

)

**audacious1** · 07-11-2003, 01:13 PM

oh fuck res!!!

You just reminded me of my old title from a long ago workplace:

Fomentor of Discontent

Mr. Bent
aka ~aud the instigator~

**Simple** · 07-11-2003, 01:20 PM

Resqx Hunnie you go right ahead and take your sweet time in detailing all your C.D's .For I will sit with you when ever you like and work them out with you.
For I am sure I have alot of them in common with you as well as the rest of us on this site..

**tapping nails on desk- waiting on audi to list the best of hys Character Defects. ***

It's normal to have C.D's now its not normal to think you dont have them..That right there is a C.D.

Ahemm Audi Honey where are youuuuu

Me honestly being a critic is a small one.. And I hate to be criticized so I need to stop that..

**Looking for alisha**

Procrastinating is another small one..I only put things off when I am afraid to tackle it or scared of the out come!

**Alisha_Love** · 07-11-2003, 02:33 PM

**Skipping in to help sock it to Aud**

Did I hear my name being called?

Did somebody say ANAL?!!!

Alisha
*Perk Perk Perk!!

**gaymer** · 07-11-2003, 03:19 PM

anal????? *PERK* huh???

luvin · 07-11-2003, 04:27 PM

Character defect-no self esteem,,never thinkin Im good enuff..yea,,I got em

**resqx** · 07-11-2003, 04:28 PM

simple...will you be my therapist?...and call me muffinhead?

**bonnets & curls** · 07-12-2003, 04:32 PM

I could work on being more patient at times.

**JetBoy** · 07-12-2003, 05:54 PM

I have absolutely NO character defects! Unless of course you find fault in perfection.

~ Jet

**jesseanne** · 07-12-2003, 09:24 PM

*runs out and buys my Daddy some* gets my baseball bat to fend off the chicks...

**audacious1** · 07-12-2003, 09:26 PM

I'm gonna smell like Jet! I'm gonna smell like Jet!
ducking baseball bat

Now if only I could get into his stash of hair product...

**indiaboricua21** · 07-14-2003, 09:18 AM

Anger........

Generosity........

I spread myself thin.........

**Simple** · 07-14-2003, 09:28 AM

Originally posted by gaymer
anal????? *PERK* huh???

Awwwwww Gaymer Gimme that Culito lol

Me too Gaymer I have heard people say that I am alittle AHemm "yea that word" at times.. HEYyyyyyy so what..It comes in handy sometimes..

Luvin: Character defect-no self esteem,,never thinkin Im good enuff..yea,,I got em

*****Luvin Hunnie your the best.! Your not only cute but you have made my day several times just in reading what you have to say on these threads..

Bottom Line Character Defects are things that we have to work on day to day. Interacting with other people and knowing that you are trying to better yourself.. You gradually start applying basic necessities in your day to day life.
I know it helps for me. I tend to take out my ill temper on certain people I interact with on a daily basis.Such as my my co worker ( only the ones I dont like) . So ever since last year I started doing the following.:
1. Alway try to make someone smile!

2. One good deed a day..If you skip a day apply 2 for the next.

3. At the end of the day think about all the good things you did in the day. How they made you feel.

Feel a overwhelming feeling of accomplishment.. Start back at 1 tomorrow.

I am also very selfish.. So I have tried to but my needs to the back burner.. Its a start ya know..Because thats just a horrible, horrible character. (little needs, not the big ones COME ONNNNNNN Ya have to start small )

Your Gal Pal Al*

**Simple** · 07-14-2003, 09:32 AM

Originally posted by resqx
simple...will you be my therapist?...and call me muffinhead?

Muffin Head, Muffin head , Muffin head, Muffin head,Muffin Head, Muffin head , Muffin head, Muffin head,
Muffin Head, Muffin head , Muffin head, Muffin head,Muffin Head, Muffin head , Muffin head, Muffin head,Muffin Head, Muffin head , Muffin head, Muffin head,

Muffin Head, Muffin head , Muffin Head, Muffin head , Muffin head, Muffin head,Muffin head, Muffin head,

Whew !!Panting!! ...... How's that Resqx? I think that was a little therapuetic for me as well (spell Check Hmmmm :therapuetic )

**resqx** · 07-14-2003, 01:28 PM

simple...that was very therapuetic...

...a couple more sessions like that and ill be cured

**Alisha_Love** · 07-14-2003, 01:43 PM

ga

Originally posted by gaymer
anal????? *PERK* huh???

Gaymuh....You wanna talk about my *Perk* huh?

**Drags Gaymuh the Flaymuh over to my dark cornah to talk of Perkay thangs..**

LOLOL

A

**IndigoGirl** · 07-14-2003, 02:19 PM

Intolerance, at times, has crept into my life. Today I had to deal with a very difficult family member of a patient of mine and I stepped back during the conversation of his demands. I put myself in his shoes and felt his pain.

I was going to be extra nice and kill him with kindness...I felt better after I dealt with his concerns. I feel like a bigger and better person.

I am trying to be a Good Buddhist...not an easy thing in this society.

**bonn** · 07-14-2003, 02:25 PM

Originally posted by IndigoGirl
Intolerance, at times, has crept into my life. Today I had to deal with a very difficult family member of a patient of mine and I stepped back during the conversation of his demands. I put myself in his shoes and felt his pain.

Good on ya

**Woodie69** · 07-14-2003, 04:20 PM

I have a very hard time of letting things go. Petty or major. I have a very difficult time of forgiving people, including myself. It really is not easy for me to do. I try. It is something that I do actively work on day by day. I just don't know how to overcome it. It effects me, and everyone I interact with on a daily basis.

Just my 2 cents.

**herjewel** · 07-15-2003, 10:08 AM

I'm another procrastinator. I wonder though... is this REALLY a defect? hmmm. Ah well, I'll think about it later.

along with the procrastination, I have the attention span of a gnat. I get bored easily, and am too hyper for normal people.

I am (somewhat) messy and (very) disorganized.

It has been said that I have a thing about committment, but I disagree with that.

Stubborn, independent, outspoken....

WOW!!! What a catch I am... I should just copy this to a personal ad!

Jewel

***Aud... way to derail!!! I wanna be like you when I grow up***

**blue_eyed_gypsy** · 07-15-2003, 11:09 AM

I used to have a really hot temper. I was also very irresponsible. That is not a good combo. I had a tendency to let certain people run over me too. Yeah I know. However, I had to do a lot of growing up over the last year. I was into meditation and the whole searching for my inner self. Then I realize that I had actually known who I was all along. I had just been repressing and holding my true self back from people. That's when it all fell into place. I have an easier time controlling my temper, because when someone makes me angry or starts to make me angry I am very very honest with them and tell them so calmly. I don't let it fester inside me. I choose my word carefully and control my tone. You would be surprised how effective this is. I have gained a new responsibility and that is to myself, which has prompted me to be more responsible in other areas of my life. And as for letting people run over me...I have learned to go with my first inner feeling about people. I have a very accurate gut. If I get that feeling in my gut that tells me something just isn't right I run... let's just say that my ex taught me a very valuable lesson... F*ck me once, shame on you. F*ck me twice shame on me.

**Simple** · 07-15-2003, 02:06 PM

Nice to see everyone is participating in this thread..

But Boi O BOi did I discover a new character defect that has all the sudden flaired up at the age of 30 Yrs old.. Impatience. Oh yes..Simple has lost her top. Become very very impatient with alot of people.. Either it's just these past week or 2..Or I am just having a really bad time with my patience.. It's wearing thin..

But let me tell you how I immediately resolved that matter today at work..

***Think I will hit Moonies Thread after this to go VENT a little****

Well earlier this week with a few co workers..I have repeatedly explained a certain system that we have here at the office.. Over and over again. I have continously found myself getting aggravated. Today the 'itch hit the fan. Making a long story short.. Lost my temper and showed my impatience.. Went to the conference room alone. Collect my thoughts. Tried to come with a dummy method. Came out apologized and intorduce the idiea. And told them to refer to the written guide. What a relief to feel appreciated for taking time and doing that for them.. So it's not all so bad trying to correct your character defects. It's quite rewarding..

Blue eyed Gypsy: I as well use to be irresponsible. I took it on at a very old age.. Being that I am the youngest girl of 10 boys.. I have been very spoiled..Always getting my way.. ANd having everyone do things for me.. Learning and adopting responsiblity was quite difficult for this stubborn femme. (pout)

But happy and appreciative to be a responsible adult!

And Woodie me too I am the same ..Really difficult letting go..

THat me and alot of my siblings are the same..Extremely resentful.. I honestly think thats my biggest defect..

Well all happy posting.

***going back to working on my C.D.'s ***