Deaf Butches & Femmes

[StudPooh]

HI. I M JUST LOOKING FOR DEAF BUTCHES & FEMMES, UNFORNULTEY, I CANT FIND ANYONE THAT ARE DEAF AND HARD OF HEARINGS. SO I AM MAKING THIS NEW THREAD FOR ANYONE TO FIND DEAFS AND HARD OF HEARINGS IN HERE RIGHT HERE. MY NAME IS JORI FROM FLORIDA.

I HOPE THIS THREAD WILL HELP US TO FIND EM'....IM SURE THERES SOMEONE ELSE OUT THATS LOOKING FOR EM TOO....

[Chas]

I know there is a whole community of deaf/heard of hearing gays and lesbians out and about....I sure hope some find there way to .com for ya!....*grins*....I've been under the impression that tend to seperate themselves from the gay community and are seperated from the deaf community....so in the end they form a doubly minority group of gay and deaf...do you feel that is true?...just wondering....

[chapsboi]

Hi Chas,

Deaf Chaps here... no, we're definitely part of both communities, though our presence can be somewhat peripheral at times. I couldn't live without both glbt and Deaf worlds--or the leather community for that matter. My comfort level is highest in the Deaf glbt community, but we're kind of spread out (not to mention incestuous) on the local level.

As to being hard to find, there's a reason. if you're out even a little bit, the grapevine does the rest. No going back to the closet, bubbie! So the fearful stay .... well hidden. And there's not a lot of clearly defined Deaf butch-femme relationships -- most are unlabelled or resist defining themselves as such. There's a persistent sense that a butch is still a "wannabe man."

KD

[Chas]

chapsboi,

Hey, thanks for sayin' something..*grin*...don't even get me started on the 'wanna be a man' thing...*grumbles*..ANYway....I would imagine that the deaf glbt community is strung out pretty thin...how do you relieve that desire to want to be with those 'like you'....I use that term in the most kind way..."like you"....in my rural town there aren't any gay folks to visit with and *I* feel so isolated and long for easy converstation...I want to visit with folks 'like me'....ya know?....I couldn't fathom the isolation I would feel if I were also deaf...

[chapsboi]

Well, I don't know 'bout isolation cuz I'm in NYC, tho I know lots of rural deafies who drive many miles to go to deaf clubs and such. No different than being queer, I think. And there's always the 'net

[Kadriye]

yup..then theres the net....*grin*

[elatednoel]

Hi all! While I'm not deaf my degree was for hearing impaired education and I've interpreted for the deaf in my area. There is actually a very large deaf gay population in NE Ohio...don't know about this site though. While connecting with other deaf lesbians
is definitely important..I'm sure there are other hearing folks who have a real love and interest in the deaf community. Glad you started this thread!

[Chas]

I didn't notice I had posted under my wifes name before...*stupid grin*...oh well...

[Unicorn41]

Hi

Well I can tell you this......there are no deaf lesbians up here in northern MN............Heck I would be happy with a hearing lesbian way up here!

Uni

[StudPooh]

Hmmm looks like no one has posted anything lately here. I havent been here much because I work 60 hours a week so... i dont get online that often.


I hope everythings great

[svairini]

hiya, maybe some of you know this site already, but just in case:

http://www.deafqueer.org

started by a butch/tranzperson. it has online chat & links.

[Butch75]

Hey everyone,

This is Butch75.....I live in Iowa I have been out of closet since 1992 my family accepts me for what I am ....that makes me proud of myself I consider myself as a Butch ......... I am looking to start some new friendships

[SoulSearcher]

Hello everyone. I am a single, femme in Texas. I am not completely deaf but I am like 75% deaf in both ears. Actually my hearing loss is progressing quickly and the last test I had done was about 8 months ago and the results then showed 65% loss in one ear and 75% loss in the other ear. I certainly do not discriminate against anyone but it really bugs me when I tell hearing people that I have alot of trouble hearing and then they get mad at me when they have to repeat their selves because I could not hear them. Or like with my family when they insist on yelling at me from other rooms and then when I do not hear them to go see what they want or need they get mad. I just wish some people were more understanding, especially since I do not have hearing aids because I cannot afford them. Anyways I hope all of you are doing good, and I hope that somehow this thread picks up and more people come to it because even threads like this need to be full of good people.

[tattooed_han]

'allo SoulSearcher...

I am also hearing impaired... no hearing aids as it is not the volume that is effected with me, but the ability to discern the individual sounds. There has only been one hearing doctor that I have found so far around here who knows what I can do to help this.. and he is a 7 hour drive away and works on a regional rotation... so I think that the next time he is close enough for me to drive to go see again is sometime in June.

But, until then... this has been all of my life... and well, it makes life interesting for me! I also cannot hear what someone says clearly, and I read lips most of the time making me "hearing passable"... add that in with that I nod understandingly a lot and ask my partner later what in the world we were talking about because I am **sure** we weren't discussing "blue hippo nipples in heat", but that is what I heard.

I know it is difficult for people to be understanding.. and really, I just learned to quit expecting people to. I remind people when I need to... and quite often, if someone is getting frustrated with my hearing, and I can see it, I just repeat back to them what I heard them say... such as the blue hippo nipples (which by the way that is what I really thought I heard once)... and then they remember and also understand what it is that I am hearing.

and last thing.. if people are getting mad-- that's their issue, not yours and not something you should beat yourself up for-- communication is a 2 way street and it works best if everyone cooperates. I do my best to make sure that I am where I can hear someone-- even if it is reminding them as soon as they turn around that I won't be able to hear them, or if they go to go into another room... I will remind them-- I won't be able to hear you-- do you want me to follow you or wait?

I will quit rambling now.. and just finish with :

hi and great to meet you! hope to chat with you and others more!!

[Rook]

Good Mornin, or Evenin', whichever applies..

I consider myself both Physically and Culturally Deaf, I'm "one of those" who do not recognize my Deafness as a handicap/impediment..
I'm not a Purist, anymore.
I do wear 2 Hearing Aids {BTE}..
They're not strong enough, they only help me get by.
Unlike Glasses, Good hearing aids are incredibly expensive, and unless you have great Insurance, you're kind of screwed..
State Policy is 1 hearing aid, suitable for the needs of the person at a very basic level, every 4-5 years.
Which is lame, considering some folks need 2, and very strong aids at that.
And I refuse Cochlear Implants for personal reasons.

I can relate on the part where People get frustrated and sometimes Annoyed when asked to repeat themselves..
My Deafness is written in my pediatric Records as Early-onset progressive sensorineural deafness.
I am Profoundly Deaf at this point.
My Father refused to enroll me in Schools for the Deaf, and I had to visit a Speech Therapist quite often..
My therapist loathed my Father, trying constantly to win my mother over so I can develop speech and reading skills faster, long story short, since the Audiologist made my father nervous by hinting on speaking with his C.O., I was placed in a specialty School that used the Montessori method.

Once the letters, words and pictures made sense, I became a Bookworm...Couldn't go anywhere w/o at least 3 books in my backpack...
Still can't...
I also have my Primary Professor to thank for introducing me to Prose/Poetry.
My Signing is rusty{one of those Use it or Lose it Languages}, however, I can understand rather well what another person is Signing..
Go figure..
I also learned Lip Reading, I do get complimented on it.
It's easy to read "body language" and kind of fun to focus on a conversation 3 tables away...
One thing I truly Despise however, is when I do ask someone, after stating I'm Deaf..To please repeat themself, and to talk Clearly, no mumbles.
Usually this is met with exaggerated Lip movement, or shouting...Often I get "Oh nevermind"..If u ever want to see my Temper short circuit, that's the Button to push.

1- I'm Deaf, not stupid, don't move your Lips like your chewing a huge chunk of beef jerky...
2- Again, I'm Deaf...Shouting is not only stupid of you, but Pointless.
3- When the person says "Never Mind", to me it smacks of disrespect as if the person is simply waving me off as some simpleton who doesnt have a clue and time is far too valuable to waste on me.

Sometimes it gets awkward when it's a Lady, and I've had a few naively say "Hunny, up here, my Face, not my breasts", I generally smile and let them know it's not their bosom I'm studying, but their body language and Lips..Occasionally I'll glance at Eyes, not often..

I do date both Hearing and D/deaf, although..If either side says something related to my Deafness in a negative way, that pretty much severs it.
Ex: "U need to learn Sign, it's detrimental for our Culture, how can you expect Hearing people to understand our struggle to be accepted otherwise?" {it's happened, and I did roll my eyes}
Ex: "Why don't you just get a Cochlear Implant if your BTE's aren't strong enough?"
Ex: "This pen and paper thing is for the Birds"

There's nothing Local for me to recieve Intensive Lessons, I do visit V-Blogs, YouTube does have a few great "class" videos...
So far, I'm rather proud that I can understand ASL/BSL/AusLan/JSL/LSC..

Columbus is the Closest to me, and it is rather Far[1 1/2 hr drive]..There's a Decent Deaf Community there, a rather Small insular Queer Deaf community as well..
Eventually, I'll be more fluent than the Dean of Students in Gallaudet Univ.

Happy Holidays Folks.

[daddys_bella]

I used to be an interpreter for the Deaf but no longer do that so my signing skills have gone down. Used to love socializing and being around the Deaf community. Would love to make some friends.