Page 15 of 15 FirstFirst 123456789101112131415
Results 561 to 589 of 589

Thread: Warning Labels Would Be Nice!

  1. #561
    Basic Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2004
    Gender
    queer
    Status
    Occupied
    Quote
    The key to creating a better and more peaceful world is the development of love and compassion for others
    Posts
    101
    CF I am sorry this happened to you. Emotional abuse harms people. Alot of people grow up in homes where this is normal. Most emotionaly abusive people appear to others as friendly and sad to say will play the victim. Many will never seek help because it painful to deal with. It is very important to spend time alone after a break-up. Going from relationship to relationship is just a quick fix. Its nobodys job to fix anyone else. It also allows you time to look at the whole picture. If you accept responsibility for your part then your able to move on. Date casualy,hang out with friends and for heavens sakes dont jump in bed after dating a week or two. Have a great day

  2. #562
    Basic Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Gender
    Feline Femme
    Status
    Solitary heart seeking its soul...
    Quote
    "Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story . Ashleigh Brilliant"
    Posts
    906

    Venting...

    CF this is exactly why I started this thread long ago, when break ups are ugly, or even just breaking up itself, it consumes us for awhile and that is a natural part of the healing process. On and off people have brought love and light philosophy into the thread but the truth is it is ugly and having a safe place to vent and drop all of the pain and frustration is very cathartic!

    Bravo on escaping a really bad situation, and know next time ( I know right now it doesn't feel like a next time is even remotely in the cards) you will be able to catch those red flags before it goes so far. It is truly unfortunate that some people feel the only way to make themselves look good is to rip someone else apart. There are predators everywhere. There are also other really good people who sometimes don't get a chance to show us because we are afraid of our past.

    Thank you for sharing your pain and frustration and please feel safe dumping/venting here where you know others have gone through the same thing and understand!

    ((hugs))
    “She remains what she has been for many years - an absolutely strange delight" Cecil Beaton

  3. #563
    Basic Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Gender
    Feline Femme
    Status
    Solitary heart seeking its soul...
    Quote
    "Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story . Ashleigh Brilliant"
    Posts
    906
    "Ask me how many times
    my heart has been broken
    and I will tell you to look
    in the sky and count the stars."

    Anonymous
    “She remains what she has been for many years - an absolutely strange delight" Cecil Beaton

  4. #564
    Basic Member Canadian_Femme's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Gender
    Femme
    Status
    Single
    Quote
    When life hands you a lemon, find some tequila :)
    Posts
    14
    Thanks Star and Harley....I feel much stronger now then I have in years...And I refuse to settle, just to have somebody...One day I will find my other half. Until then, I enjoy everyday and try not to worry And it is nice to know there is a place I can come now when I need an ear...I am meeting some good people here

  5. #565
    Basic Member converse's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    California
    Gender
    Butch. tag reads... OFOS Top Dom Stone Butch Daddy, but you can call me converse
    Status
    Very Married
    Quote
    its the journey that counts
    Posts
    467
    A couple of labels I would have appreciated if they had been affixed to a few people in my past

    If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…it is an excellent duck impersonator

    And

    If you can read this, you are standing too close…. Run!
    "I don't act this way to change the world. I act this way so that the goddamn world won't change me!"
    Desert Hearts 1985

  6. #566
    Basic Member Orkhis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Gender
    Femme
    Status
    Attached
    Posts
    54
    I got all the warnings I could have got with one of my exes. I should have listened but I was determined to make up my own mind.
    They were right, I was wrong.
    I'm just glad it's over.

  7. #567
    Basic Member kbusick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Gender
    Femme-ish
    Status
    Single
    Quote
    "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." — Dr. Seuss
    Posts
    2
    a sociopath warning would be nice. those folks sure do know how to fake sincerity and love...and they really know how to twist the knife once the truth comes out.

  8. #568
    Basic Member educand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Georgia
    Gender
    genderqueer (they or ze, take your pick)
    Status
    terminally monogamous, terminally single
    Quote
    "We are born naked, and the rest is drag." - RuPaul
    Posts
    400
    Quote Originally Posted by Orkhis View Post
    I got all the warnings I could have got with one of my exes. I should have listened but I was determined to make up my own mind.
    I think this happens a lot. Warning labels might be nice in the abstract but as a practical matter, we usually disregard them when we don't want to see them, and we have to make our own mistakes. I have yet to see anyone heed a warning from an outside source, ever, in any context other than maybe taking along an umbrella if the weather report calls for rain - MAYBE. It's a tricky balancing act anyway, hypervigilance vs. optimistic disbelief that someone so attractive in some ways could treat us so badly.

    There's probably something to be said for trusting instincts here, I suppose. There's also something to be said for holding people accountable for their wrongful acts rather than ourselves for not avoiding them. It shouldn't be ONLY a person's responsibility to sniff out warning signs, which may or may not be there or perceptible - it should also be the other party's responsibility to develop emotional maturity and handle stressors and trauma through communication and kindness rather than through physical, sexual, emotional abuse. To put it in the language of sexual assault - it's not that a person shouldn't have put herself in a situation where she was likely to be attacked, it was that the other person shouldn't have attacked her.

  9. #569
    Basic Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    butch
    Status
    single
    Posts
    7
    Warning label...In retrospect...In the pit stomache I knew it would end up bad but I chose to ignore my intuition. So I didn't need any red flags or warning labels. I knew before It even began. Something inside said...no. I'm the only one to blame for that. I should have listened to my gut feeling it's never wrong.

  10. #570
    Basic Member larochelle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    Georgia
    Gender
    Femme
    Status
    free
    Quote
    fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night.
    Posts
    85
    Okay, I'm going to revive this thread. Happy New Year, everybody.
    Warning: I'm crazy. [that's the short version].

  11. #571
    Basic Member SoulSearcher's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Arkansas
    Gender
    100% Femme
    Status
    Single and hoping to find the one.
    Quote
    Always remember that the heart you break today could be yours tomorrow, and never judge a book by it's cover cause it could always surprise you.
    Posts
    712
    Okay i am in no way trying to be mean and be a party pooper here but... I believe that we are all humans, we all make mistakes, we all have our own faults, our own quirks etc... So here is what i was thinking... What if we all posted our OWN warning label. What would our OWN warning label about ourselves say to other people in all honesty?

    For example:.... I get bored easily, I never make my bed because I feel it is pointless since I am just going to mess it up again that night, I am a picky eater when it comes to things like vegetables and I hate anything like tofu or sushi (Yuck). I sometimes come across as being needy in regards to the amount of attention my partner gives me, I often talk loud but do not realize it because of how hard of hearing I am and this goes the same for having the television or radio up too loud. I am often very opinionated and if you NEVER have any compliments about me or NEVER say i am doing anything good or right then i think there is something wrong with me or you have a problem with me and just aren't telling me. If an argument or heated discussion is started with me and you come up and say you don't want to talk about it right now, i get pissed off. I absolutely hate for people to start things and not finish them, especially sentences or important conversations. But even with all of this being so... I am extremely loving, caring, kind, passionate, romantic and respectful.

    So what truly is the importance of warning labels of ex's? Why not make our own warning labels about ourselves? If everyone had one wouldn't it weed out people we shouldn't be with for whatever reason?
    If my heart is broken, I have to be the one to mend it no matter how long it takes, for even the touch of your hand can not put it back together properly, it can only offer me a temporary fix, and one moment of peace and sanity.
    KOTC SoulSearcher

  12. #572
    Basic Member whoopteedoodle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Gender
    Femme
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    5
    Hey everyone ...waving.... I love the idea of our own warning label.... Then it would help new people in our life to make a decision... The other part of this is in the balance by offering the other side of the coin. I have my sweet, loving side and then there is my "evil twin skippy" as I call her.... who comes out in her full body armour, ready to do battle especially when I'm feeling insecure, scared, not heard, my sand box is being violated, I'm angry, dysfunctional and I mis-interpreted what was said....because my filters are on... On the other side of that part is the compassionate, nurturing, loving, kind, gentle, spiritual woman who realizes, rather quickly I might ad, that "oopsie" I screwed up and will regroup and work on making it better. Sometimes though, I need to calm down and be to myself in order to change my thinking and feelings... It is all a process.... and the more intimate I am with a woman, the more I work on myself... realizing that "you" are not my past lovers, family members, child, etc. etc. So, that is my 2-cents worth and if I had a warning label on me now, say around my neck, it would be hanging down to the floor, with several paragraphs and I'd be alone forever!!!!!! JK Oh, btw ---- my other name on is Femmekat and I'm working on getting back online under that name rather than this one... Be at peace all --- Femmekat >^..^<

  13. #573
    Basic Member ruthie14's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    New Jersey
    Gender
    Femme
    Status
    friends only
    Quote
    If ya can't say something nice....
    Posts
    949
    OOOOOHHHH ya! Just had a bad experience with a boi who claimed to be kind and respectful. Ummm, no

  14. #574
    Basic Member nonprofitprincess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Gender
    Queer Femme
    Status
    taken
    Quote
    "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." ~Carlos Casteneda
    Posts
    36
    OMG Star - I think we might have the same ex!! LOL

  15. #575
    Basic Member nonprofitprincess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Gender
    Queer Femme
    Status
    taken
    Quote
    "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." ~Carlos Casteneda
    Posts
    36
    My ex's warning label would read: "I may look butch, but looks are deceiving! I'm not sure who or what I am, and I'm looking for anything or anyone to define myself by. I don't know how to deal with my emotions, so I will externalize them all and make everyone around me feel as miserable as I do. Don't mistake my silence for strength, odds are I'm hiding something from you or just formulating the next big lie I'm going to tell. I hate myself so I'll never truly love you, never let you in, and after a few years, almost never make love to you."

    My warning label: "I'm gullible, I take things too seriously, and I'm really sensitive. You will never know how much I need you, because I have a hard time admitting to myself that I need anyone at all. I'm going to keep growing and changing, so don't get in too much of a rut! Be prepared to catch me when I fall - literally! I'm a klutz. Also, dogs and I are a package deal." :-)

  16. #576
    Basic Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Gender
    Feline Femme
    Status
    Solitary heart seeking its soul...
    Quote
    "Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story . Ashleigh Brilliant"
    Posts
    906

    Twins!

    If they weren't the same person they must be long lost twins! lol!
    “She remains what she has been for many years - an absolutely strange delight" Cecil Beaton

  17. #577
    Basic Member nonprofitprincess's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Oklahoma
    Gender
    Queer Femme
    Status
    taken
    Quote
    "We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." ~Carlos Casteneda
    Posts
    36
    OMG mine just moved to PDX, so you better watch out!! :-)

  18. #578
    Basic Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Gender
    Feline Femme
    Status
    Solitary heart seeking its soul...
    Quote
    "Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story . Ashleigh Brilliant"
    Posts
    906
    Damn, you're supposed to export to the East Coast! lol! Thanks for the warning!
    “She remains what she has been for many years - an absolutely strange delight" Cecil Beaton

  19. #579
    Basic Member honeypie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Big femme heart.....wrapped in a tight girly package
    Status
    playing for keeps with butch987
    Quote
    You only run out of chances when you stop taking them
    Posts
    299
    Quote Originally Posted by Starphyre View Post
    Damn, you're supposed to export to the East Coast! lol! Thanks for the warning!
    NO NO NO NO....We have enouth of that shit on the East Coast...too bad a skull and crossbones doesnt magically appear on their foreheads when the moonlight shines on them !!! I am gona think of my own warning label though...Very cool idea...It would read something like the Gremlins warning label: Never feed after midnight and use caution if wet.......hahahaha!

  20. #580
    Basic Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Gender
    Feline Femme
    Status
    Solitary heart seeking its soul...
    Quote
    "Strange as it may seem, my life is based on a true story . Ashleigh Brilliant"
    Posts
    906
    Quote Originally Posted by honeypie View Post
    NO NO NO NO....We have enouth of that shit on the East Coast...too bad a skull and crossbones doesnt magically appear on their foreheads when the moonlight shines on them !!!
    I love it!!! They have tattoos that only show under a black light, that could work, just scan before dating! lmao!
    “She remains what she has been for many years - an absolutely strange delight" Cecil Beaton

  21. #581
    Basic Member AlexHunter's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Gender
    Butch and Genderqueer
    Status
    Single. Very single. :-)
    Quote
    Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much.
    Posts
    16
    Man, after blogging about the craziest ex I've ever been with, I found this thread. Her warning label would read:

    "I have seven personalities. One of them is who I want to be, two are straight (one is Catholic), one is sadistic, one is male, one is an old black lady, and one is a big time slut."

    My own warning label would read something like, "I'm too nice, but I fear my vulnerability. I'm insecure and need a lot of reassurance, despite my cocky exterior. I like to think I'm smooth, but really, I'm this huge, nervous dork who wants nothing more than your love. I'll try to treat you like a queen in the meantime, but I don't promise happily ever after. I need solitude sometimes and will have moments where I don't feel like being talkative or affectionate. Other times, I won't shut up. If you make me comfortable enough to let you in, I'm yours... and you'll have to metaphorically slap me hard in the nose like an unwanted puppy to get me to go away. If I feel like I'm giving more than I'm getting, which I often have in the past, I will grow resentful and not even realize until it's too late and the feelings have festered. I can ignore my emotions until I'm desensitized. I like meaningless sex and respect for you does not mean I will enter a relationship with you. Until I find the perfect woman, I'll be happily single."

  22. #582
    Basic Member honeypie's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2011
    Gender
    Big femme heart.....wrapped in a tight girly package
    Status
    playing for keeps with butch987
    Quote
    You only run out of chances when you stop taking them
    Posts
    299
    Quote Originally Posted by alexhunter View Post
    man, after blogging about the craziest ex i've ever been with, i found this thread. Her warning label would read:

    "i have seven personalities. One of them is who i want to be, two are straight (one is catholic), one is sadistic, one is male, one is an old black lady, and one is a big time slut."

    my own warning label would read something like, "i'm too nice, but i fear my vulnerability. I'm insecure and need a lot of reassurance, despite my cocky exterior. I like to think i'm smooth, but really, i'm this huge, nervous dork who wants nothing more than your love. I'll try to treat you like a queen in the meantime, but i don't promise happily ever after. I need solitude sometimes and will have moments where i don't feel like being talkative or affectionate. Other times, i won't shut up. If you make me comfortable enough to let you in, i'm yours... And you'll have to metaphorically slap me hard in the nose like an unwanted puppy to get me to go away. If i feel like i'm giving more than i'm getting, which i often have in the past, i will grow resentful and not even realize until it's too late and the feelings have festered. I can ignore my emotions until i'm desensitized. I like meaningless sex and respect for you does not mean i will enter a relationship with you. Until i find the perfect woman, i'll be happily single."
    wow !!!!

  23. #583
    Basic Member watta89's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Gender
    Stone Possibly Andro
    Status
    Single, looking
    Quote
    I only know that I know nothing.
    Posts
    17
    I saw this and had to write my own. While I never dated this girl (thank GOD), she was my best friend for a while. I know this is meant for exes, but just want to get it off my chest.

    Warning:
    I'm a lying, manipulating, immature, capricious, whiny, needy, clingy, selfish and self-centered child who will use you and take you for granted and, if you're of the right sexual orientation, I will most likely, eventually, lead you on. I never do anything wrong and the occasional mistake is really not that big a deal and totally justified. My life has been soooo unfair to me and I will say so again and again and again, so that you feel sorry for me and buy me things and wait on me hand and foot. I'm always so stressed out because I have no money, which is why I will mooch off of you and everyone around me, while going on shopping sprees with the money I get from the government. But hey, I'm justified in having spent that money frivulously, because I was sad. Never mind that I owe my friends several hundred dollars each.
    I will deny with my every breath that I talk shit about people, because I am a really good person. All those people who say they've witnessed me doing it are all just liars. Why is everyone so mean to me? I have such a horribly low self-esteem. My life is shit and I don't deserve to have anything good in my life. I will cry about this a lot, so you will end up spending countless hours trying to cheer me up.
    I'm the type of person who posts a fake suicide note on Facebook, on Christmas day, to get attention. Some of my friends see through this, but hey, poor poor me. Cut me some slack, cause life is so fucking hard. Never mind that I made several of my friends seriously fear for my life cause I'm an attention whore.

    Because of my constant laments about how life is so unfair and difficult, whenever I do something you don't like, you most likely won't bring it up, cause you don't want to add to my burdan. If you do bring it up, you're the one throwing a fit. I didn't do anything to bring that on. Hold on while I go bitch about you to someone else and lie about what happened to make me look like the innocent victim, and you the callous dick.

    I also enjoy employing double standards. If you're in any kind of relationship with me, I will be abusive. I will ignore your needs and wants in favor of my own. I will ignore you until I need something from you, then you're back to being the bestest person in the world. I will flatter you endlessly and butter you up. Everyone who's ever walked away from my endless drama is really just buttsore cause they wanted me and I rejected them. After a while, I will make you paranoid and distrustful, and you will doubt everything I've ever told you. And doubt anyone else who comes along after me.

    Why does everyone leave me?!
    Last edited by watta89; 12-31-2011 at 12:18 PM.

  24. #584
    Basic Member
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Washington
    Gender
    Butch
    Status
    Single
    Posts
    118
    Wow..you were "friends" for how long if I can ask?

  25. #585
    Basic Member Notbroken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Maryland
    Gender
    TG/ liv'n my life
    Status
    Single
    Quote
    It is what it is...
    Posts
    7
    Warning labels might be nice but is that to say we still wouldn't take a chance? I'm betting the majority of us had already seen a red flag or two waving and didn't do anything more then block the wind. It happens because we need to want and be wanted. Sometimes a relationship just becomes too far out of reach to make perspective work. Take time to process, don't allow anger to control you. Embrace your pain, grieve if needed, then let it go. No one can be or is responsible for our own happiness, we must continue to believe in ourselves and our dreams. Life happens, live it.

  26. #586
    Basic Member jushapycampin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    North Carolina
    Gender
    TG
    Status
    if you can be my tan legged Juliet, I'll be your redneck Romeo
    Quote
    If it aint yours leave it alone
    Posts
    1,601
    I think we all have our faults and I probably need to have a few warning labels of my own. I think Notbroken hit the nail on the head. I won't post any warning labels as I do have a few ex's here and don't like drama. Really you don't need warning labels, although they would be fun/funny...All you really need to do is stop, look and listen.
    I'm moving on from my mistakes....
    Learning how to take it day by day...
    ON MY HIGHWAY.....
    Jason Aldean

  27. #587
    Basic Member Notbroken's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Maryland
    Gender
    TG/ liv'n my life
    Status
    Single
    Quote
    It is what it is...
    Posts
    7
    I've jokingly thought about creating a "before involvement" application...

    Realistically, stop look and listen don't apply when we get our heads turned, most of us just jump in with both feet and later wonder what the hill happened! Whirlwind relationships are just that and can often be compared to a tornado. It lifts you up, spins you around and ultimately slams you down. Sometimes you come out in one piece, some times you come out shattered and broken. Either way, you know the storm. It's a perfect example of why we need to keep our own space, do the dating scene in length and really get to know one another. One may not wind up in a relationship but there is always something that can be said for valued friendship.

  28. #588
    Basic Member jushapycampin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    North Carolina
    Gender
    TG
    Status
    if you can be my tan legged Juliet, I'll be your redneck Romeo
    Quote
    If it aint yours leave it alone
    Posts
    1,601
    Quote Originally Posted by Notbroken View Post
    I've jokingly thought about creating a "before involvement" application...

    Realistically, stop look and listen don't apply when we get our heads turned, most of us just jump in with both feet and later wonder what the hill happened! Whirlwind relationships are just that and can often be compared to a tornado. It lifts you up, spins you around and ultimately slams you down. Sometimes you come out in one piece, some times you come out shattered and broken. Either way, you know the storm. It's a perfect example of why we need to keep our own space, do the dating scene in length and really get to know one another. One may not wind up in a relationship but there is always something that can be said for valued friendship.
    I couldn't agree with you more. I do believe if I would ever learn to listen to my head when I stop look and listen I'd be better off, but you are right it comes on like a storm and like a storm, sometimes you don't pay attention to the signs.....I think there is a sample application in a thread here somewhere.

    I'm moving on from my mistakes....
    Learning how to take it day by day...
    ON MY HIGHWAY.....
    Jason Aldean

  29. #589
    Desert Rose Rhoda's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Florida
    Gender
    Femme ala mode
    Status
    blah, blah, blah...
    Quote
    Live Simply
    Posts
    4,257
    Quote Originally Posted by SoulSearcher View Post
    Okay i am in no way trying to be mean and be a party pooper here but... I believe that we are all humans, we all make mistakes, we all have our own faults, our own quirks etc... So here is what i was thinking... What if we all posted our OWN warning label. What would our OWN warning label about ourselves say to other people in all honesty?

    For example:.... I get bored easily, I never make my bed because I feel it is pointless since I am just going to mess it up again that night, I am a picky eater when it comes to things like vegetables and I hate anything like tofu or sushi (Yuck). I sometimes come across as being needy in regards to the amount of attention my partner gives me, I often talk loud but do not realize it because of how hard of hearing I am and this goes the same for having the television or radio up too loud. I am often very opinionated and if you NEVER have any compliments about me or NEVER say i am doing anything good or right then i think there is something wrong with me or you have a problem with me and just aren't telling me. If an argument or heated discussion is started with me and you come up and say you don't want to talk about it right now, i get pissed off. I absolutely hate for people to start things and not finish them, especially sentences or important conversations. But even with all of this being so... I am extremely loving, caring, kind, passionate, romantic and respectful.

    So what truly is the importance of warning labels of ex's? Why not make our own warning labels about ourselves? If everyone had one wouldn't it weed out people we shouldn't be with for whatever reason?

    i think this idea needs it's own thread.......... lmao Will have to hire someone to help me with this.

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •