I was not quite sure where to post this, but this section seemed most appropriate after looking through them all. I have mostly been lurking around and reading other areas on the forum but I could not find anything on this particular incident in the depth that I currently need to work through it.
Since I have not done an intro, I'll do it here as some of it is pertinent to what I am posting anyway. My name is Emily and I recently went from a more femme style of dress to a more androgynous style of dress, partially because a butch friend of mine got me into the style and partially because at 6' tall it's easier to just buy small shirts in the men's section; jeans and other pants for some reason are easier to find in sizes that fit so I stick to women's jeans. My hair is shorter (I have a photo posted) but it's a layered, feminine cut. I like looking androgynous because it fits me more and the shirts fit easier too (sometimes they have issues in the breasts and hip areas, but I forgive them).
I have dressed like this for nearly two months now and usually go out to lesbian or gay clubs and have no issues with people aside from perhaps a few stares by people who are probably trying to work out what is between my legs. However, I went to a straight goth bar this past Friday and while I was sharing a hug amongst friends and a couple strangers (as you do when drunk), one of the people in the group asked my name. So I gave it and then they (I think it was another woman but I was quite drunk at the time) were like, "no, what is your real name?" I asked what they were talking about and they accused me of being a "dudechick" somewhere down the line, which I guess it their particular lingo for MtF trans, and kept trying to pressure me to give my "birth name." So I gave them my "birth name," which is "Emma" (big shock; I bet everyone threw themselves against the walls at the reveal). They also had a nickname they went by which ended in a long 'e' sound, and being drunk I tried to lighten the mood and make them go away by mentioning how we both like to go by names that end with long 'e' sounds now. They said something like "no that's not it" or whatever, and then they asked for my birth date for some reason as if I were being interrogated. Being drunk, I just told them, and they wanted it down to the day for some reason. After that they left me alone, thankfully, and I regrouped with my friends as we prepared to leave.
Now, I do not care much about the mistake they made, but their insistence upon its truth made the situation feel very hostile to me. I now worry about being drunk in public in general and not being able to handle myself if for some reason someone decided to be like this and then get physically violent with me for some reason.
Has anyone ever dealt with a situation like this? If so, how did you handle it?
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