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Thread: Help!

  1. #1
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    Help!

    So I thought it would be easy to write a paper about why femme is a gender, but I've realized too late that I like being femme but I don't like writing paper about being femme.
    So far I have
    Femme is an active choice
    Not tied to sex(male or female)
    Feminine appearence
    Challenging social expectation of what lesbian "look like"
    Overt feminine sexuality
    Sexuality based on being admired and not tied to a sexual partner preference.
    Learnt sexual language (Knowing to call a strapon a cock)

    PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE point out a something I missed!

    Thanks for any ideas!
    Pin

  2. #2
    Basic Member kornstar1185's Avatar
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    *brain freeze*maybe explain the different levels of sepertation between the different types and the sterotypes of the average femme. sorry it might not be much or it maybe covered in points you already have. i was never good at papers

  3. #3
    Basic Member converse's Avatar
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    Once upon a time there was a woman that everyone wanted to approach but rarely did because as the man said “it is obvious by her lack of response to me that she is a lesbian”, and the lesbians who came in a group said “it is obvious by her lack of interest in us that she is straight.”

    At first many thought that perhaps it was shyness that prevented anything more than a cursory glance from her, and others assumed she had suffered from a heartache that made her now wear a shield.

    The woman made friends and perhaps took an occasional lover but no matter how close they stood, she still seemed far away.

    The admirers speculated, they spoke of the fire they sporadically would see in her eyes, but which would quickly recede when she realised they had noticed; they spoke of the way she moved, as though gravity had given her a free pass; they spoke of her voice, as smooth as the cream that slowly changed the colour of coffee. When she dressed, she took time- it was obvious that with such care that what was worn beneath the clothes would have been given the same deliberation, it was also obvious that such effort was made for no one but herself… but the admirers stayed nearby holding on to as much hope as their own imaginations would allow them.

    One day just for a moment, gravity made a claim, there was a blush and just a little awkwardness before she resumed her poise- said the admirer to the Butch who had just walked in “oh that was so unlike her”, to which the Butch replied “no, there is no one like her… she is a Femme”
    "I don't act this way to change the world. I act this way so that the goddamn world won't change me!"
    Desert Hearts 1985

  4. #4
    Basic Member BADBOY's Avatar
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    Cool

    Thought I'd offer my opinion here. Femme to me has nothing to do with sexual preference. I've lived as a straight man for over 30 years and and have always only been attracted to what I referred to as uber-feminine women. My abbreviation for that was femme, and until joining this site little over a year ago, had not heard the term discussed. Having said that, IMO femme is certainly appearance. But it is more attitude. It is the way she carries herself, confidant she is making an entrance. Comfortable with her independence, yet very adept in maintaining female boundaries (I'm sure I'll get shit for that). You never have to question what she will wear or how she will act. She compliments and enhances your masculinity while feeding off of and cracving your male energy. She is impeccable in presentation, knows all the right things to say and has an air about her that is intoxicating. She IS high maintenance, but more from an emotion stand point than financial. That's not to say she doesn't like the finer things in life. All of this (and more) creates the complete package of that mist desirable of the female species; The Femme.
    BADBOY is not a screen name; it's a lifestyle.

  5. #5
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    i consider myself femme.

    but had to laugh when babdboy said youd never question what she would wear

    i own and wear anything from super feminine pencil skirts. etc..
    to cargo shorts and a t shirt

    whats on my body doent define who i am.

    because trust me..im femme even in hys clothing!
    "i am culinary chaos
    but i taste so god damn good
    like that craving that you get
    that you never understood"

    ~ excerpt from poem by me RP

  6. #6
    Basic Member BADBOY's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RealPoetsWriteNPen View Post
    i consider myself femme.

    but had to laugh when babdboy said youd never question what she would wear

    i own and wear anything from super feminine pencil skirts. etc..
    to cargo shorts and a t shirt

    whats on my body doent define who i am.

    because trust me..im femme even in hys clothing!
    Exactly my point. ;-). And I should have added I was defining high femme, OMO of course.
    BADBOY is not a screen name; it's a lifestyle.

  7. #7
    Basic Member Miss July's Avatar
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    Wink

    Quote Originally Posted by BADBOY View Post
    Thought I'd offer my opinion here. Femme to me has nothing to do with sexual preference. I've lived as a straight man for over 30 years and and have always only been attracted to what I referred to as uber-feminine women. My abbreviation for that was femme, and until joining this site little over a year ago, had not heard the term discussed. Having said that, IMO femme is certainly appearance. But it is more attitude. It is the way she carries herself, confidant she is making an entrance. Comfortable with her independence, yet very adept in maintaining female boundaries (I'm sure I'll get shit for that). You never have to question what she will wear or how she will act. She compliments and enhances your masculinity while feeding off of and cracving your male energy. She is impeccable in presentation, knows all the right things to say and has an air about her that is intoxicating. She IS high maintenance, but more from an emotion stand point than financial. That's not to say she doesn't like the finer things in life. All of this (and more) creates the complete package of that mist desirable of the female species; The Femme.
    Do I resemble this remark?

    (I also don't own a pair of cargo shorts)
    Wanna talk shoe's, purses or other accessories I'm in.
    I must say I did look stylin in our shirt.
    Last edited by Miss July; 12-13-2011 at 12:45 PM.
    Sorry.................. My Give A Damn Meter Is Broken

    ~ I Am A BITCH, But I'm Not Yo Bitch ~

  8. #8
    Basic Member SyrJess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by converse View Post
    Once upon a time there was a woman that everyone wanted to approach but rarely did because as the man said “it is obvious by her lack of response to me that she is a lesbian”, and the lesbians who came in a group said “it is obvious by her lack of interest in us that she is straight.”

    At first many thought that perhaps it was shyness that prevented anything more than a cursory glance from her, and others assumed she had suffered from a heartache that made her now wear a shield.

    The woman made friends and perhaps took an occasional lover but no matter how close they stood, she still seemed far away.

    The admirers speculated, they spoke of the fire they sporadically would see in her eyes, but which would quickly recede when she realised they had noticed; they spoke of the way she moved, as though gravity had given her a free pass; they spoke of her voice, as smooth as the cream that slowly changed the colour of coffee. When she dressed, she took time- it was obvious that with such care that what was worn beneath the clothes would have been given the same deliberation, it was also obvious that such effort was made for no one but herself… but the admirers stayed nearby holding on to as much hope as their own imaginations would allow them.

    One day just for a moment, gravity made a claim, there was a blush and just a little awkwardness before she resumed her poise- said the admirer to the Butch who had just walked in “oh that was so unlike her”, to which the Butch replied “no, there is no one like her… she is a Femme”

    Thank you for this. Truly eloquent and beautiful. THIS is what Femme is to me. That intriguing self confident woman whose "energy" is feminine in whatever garb she may don. She will bring this butch to my knees and make me 10 foot tall and bulletproof. It is an essence. A pure trickling spring that rushes over this stone and wears down the jagged edges with tenderness.

    She is my only match. My only compliment. I am forever adoring... her.
    Noblesse oblige

  9. #9
    Basic Member SweetJane's Avatar
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    I hope you find her, Jess.

  10. #10
    Basic Member SyrJess's Avatar
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    Well, I'm not looking.. smiles... I hope we each find our match, our compliment.... and I hope we can honor all of the matches that we had found for the gifts and lessons they brought us.
    Noblesse oblige

  11. #11
    Basic Member SweetJane's Avatar
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    I agree about the folks we met in the past. They brought us what we needed to learn so that we could come to the place where we are now. Those are truly gifts, even if learned in pain.

  12. #12
    New user: Needs to verfiy email Toughy's Avatar
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    femme.....a grown ass woman centered in her own body, mind and spirit.....strong, power-filled, awe-inspiring...owns her sexuality and body.....

    has NOTHING to do with hair, make-up, clothes, cooking and house keeping capabilities, fear of bugs, spiders and snakes

    has EVERYTHING to with owning her power and the way she walks in the world......

    exists to fulfill herself and not me.......

    and on the personal note.........is my opposite that compliments and strengthens me as I do her

  13. #13
    Basic Member SweetJane's Avatar
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    Toughy, you preach it! Thanks for the insights.

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