Results 1 to 4 of 4

Thread: gambling addiction.....

  1. #1
    Basic Member desiandkoko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    femme ~ koko and butch ~ desi
    Status
    attached
    Quote
    life is like a lollipop its gud but it sucks - koko....
    Posts
    45

    Question gambling addiction.....

    ok my love has a gambling addiction does any one out there have any advice? on how to cope or help them to slow down??? love the femme

  2. #2
    Basic Member da Bonster's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Location
    Louisiana
    Gender
    Butch if I hafta be stuck inna box, but I prefer just to be attractive in my own unique, sexy way!
    Status
    Totally smitten, in love with my wife so much so I look poleaxed!
    Quote
    If I am very angry with you, it's then even more important NOT to cause you harm with my words or deeds. Unless of course I have nothing left to lose, then you are fucked!
    Posts
    198
    Get thee to a meeting. Your partner most definitely needs Gamblers Anonymous, and I bet you could do with a few meetings of Al Anon. Those are for the co dependant partner, the one who enables the addict. There are meetings happening 24-7, there are rainbow friendly meetings, just get to one. Doesn't matter if either one of you has any spirituality or not. What matters is stopping the cycle of addiction, enabling, and revictimizing. Btw, if your partner is sinking ya'll's lives by indulging the addiction, then its a matter of survival now, not just an unpleasant behavior. Accountability, consequences for continuing the downward spiral, these are all part and parcel to getting the addict to stop feeding the addiction, which the gambling has become for your partner

    I also recommend couples counseling to mend whatever damage may have been done to the relationship, if you feel it is worth saving, and you haven't stored up so much resentment you just wish they would stop hurting you and themselves, so that you don't hafta save them anymore, so that you can then tell them to gtfo... if I have struck a nerve with any of this, it's because my ex was a gambling addict, and did some shit that I am still paying for, almost a decade after we broke up.

    I will send thoughts of healing and hope for the both of you, as this is a horrible time in the life for you both. The addict can't not feed the addiction, and the enabler keeps believing the lies, the swearing never to do it again, despite all evidence to the contrary.

    As addicts we are powerless over our addictions. It is baffling, cunning, and powerful. Thats why we have to surrender all hope of self control, cuz if we could, we already would have. We have to have help from outside ourselves. What we have been doing hasn't been working, so why do we persist in believing we can change this on our own? Because addiction is the only disease that lies to keep itself alive, at the expense of the organism. If there is anyway I can help, pm me.
    Last edited by da Bonster; 01-30-2011 at 11:30 PM. Reason: grammar, spelling...
    Sip joyfully from this world of sorrows
    Never say or do anything you would be ashamed to see on youtube
    Walk in the light, but honor the darkness.
    I can count to potato!

  3. #3
    New user: Needs to verfiy email Toughy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    California
    Gender
    butch woman
    Status
    independent entity
    Posts
    5,948
    As addicts we are powerless over our addictions. It is baffling, cunning, and powerful. Thats why we have to surrender all hope of self control, cuz if we could, we already would have. We have to have help from outside ourselves. What we have been doing hasn't been working, so why do we persist in believing we can change this on our own? Because addiction is the only disease that lies to keep itself alive, at the expense of the organism. If there is anyway I can help, pm me.
    While that may be true for you, it is not true for everyone. In my experience, I am the only one that can change my own behavior. That change occurred because I gave up being powerless and choose to be powerful. A supportive network of family/friends is also very important. A higher power or God or the flying spaghetti monster is not required.

    The 12 Step programs are all faith-based programs........they require belief in something greater than the individual and a belief that that something will intervene on your behalf. There are secular recovery programs that are as successful (if not more successful) than 12 Step faith based programs. Empowerment vs powerlessness.

    If someone is gambling and it's become a problem in their life, I would suggest looking at not the gambling, but at what is driving the gambling. Something is going on. Therapy (individual and couples) plus interactive support groups certainly would be useful for both parties.

  4. #4
    Basic Member desiandkoko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Gender
    femme ~ koko and butch ~ desi
    Status
    attached
    Quote
    life is like a lollipop its gud but it sucks - koko....
    Posts
    45
    thank you my love has slowed down alot though Thank God and thank you for you guys advice

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •