"Never walk into an airport holding a suitcase that looks like it hasn't been packed well as this will lead to speculation among the well-heeled crowed in the line for First Class about your breeding and presentation which can lead to an unfortunate questioning of your professional abilities," said Chauncy as he led me to a room in the wing of the mansion they reserved for the help.
I used to hate maple syrup, until that day when you....
Drizzled it slowly all over my hair and then it made is surper silky soft after I washed it off.
I was looking all over the house for my .....
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
Once while singing, a large fly flew into my mouth and traveled all the way down to my stomach.
Gee....I feel something in my .................
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
Gee....I feel something in my pants and its warm and hard.
I went shopping today and forgot to. . .
I went shopping today and forgot to pay for the purchases. Now I know why the police were after me.
There's a little black spot ....,
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
There's a little black spot on my nose and I can't seem to get it off, damn magic marker.
I was running naked in the. . .
I was running naked in the lingerie department, trying on all the sexy undergarments.
I was sitting peacefully when in the distance I heard .....
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
I was sitting peacefully when in the distance I heard a fart and thought, I guess bears do shit in the woods.
Last night the sky was full of star when suddenly. . .
Last night the sky was full of stars when suddenly a spaceship landed on my front lawn. Tiny green beings came out and they were wearing bras.
Oh my, look, it's a .....
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
Oh my, look, it's a DD being. That ship was bigger then I thought.
You blew a dog whistle but the. . .
You blew a dog whistle but the little green beings wearing bras began to take off their bras and put on men's underwear.
That dog sounds like a .....
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
What possesed you to dip your head into wax?
I looked out the window and saw a stroller .....
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
Bebo - lol - good one
My first thought was that someone had put a screen infront of my window and was showing me a movie subject to be released on 10/31/07 about an alien invasion. However, when I rubbed my eyes and went outside, I realized it was reality.
When she opened up the door ............................
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
Oh Shit, How am I going to leave the house if the door is a window and a window is a door. Gee, I wonder if the toilet is the bed and if the bed is the toilet.
Excuse me, can you tell me where ..........................
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
Perhaps a sliver would be better suited back onto the wooden fence instead of being lodged up into my epidermis.
Did you see that elephant? It had ...............
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
The gnome wasn't concerned as it was leaving with the moving truck to hys new home.
Look up, look down, look ........
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
there was a tiny blue penis who was friends with the giant pink penis - wonder if Trinity knows this?
When you walk on the sidewalk, always make sure ......
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
LOL - too funny
Always fold the flap back before you go out otherwise you'll be mooning everyone and for heaven's sake, make sure you don't have toilet paper stuck in your cheeks!!!
My toothpick has many uses, it ......
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
When the dog wrapped his leash around my leg he saw a cat and decided to catch it, leaving me in a spin with unbelievable speed.
Is that a prosthetic leg or ................
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
Is that a prosthetic leg.... or do your hinges just need oiled?
The butterfly landed on the end of her nose...
The butterfly landed on the end of her nose while walking down the street tonight. (how's that for tying both posts up)
The candy was too chewy, it was ...
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why would anyone put dog toothpaste on their toothbrush? Does one really like the taste of beef that much?
My headache was not from stress but rather from ....
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
Why do they put those XXX-large condoms on lavender penises? Wonder if they think they are raincoats.
That person was so disgusting, he ....
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
(I did say eww!!!!)
Okay that was so sick but I still laughed with the visual I had. Eww again and again oh geez and again. OK - I need to stop thinking about it - ewwww!!!!
My mind went blank because ................
"Thou art to me a delicious torment."Ralph Waldo Emerson
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