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Thread: butchphobia in lesbians

  1. #41
    Basic Member KwanYin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stone_to_bone
    For the record...to me lesbian is a political ID. In a group of men, I'm a lesbian, in a group of queer-hating christians, I'm a lesbian. Technically, I'm a lesbian, and I have no aversion to the ID at all, it just doesn't feel like it fits perfectly to me, although I have a political allegiance to my lesbian roots--"stonebutch, "queer" fit me better. But I admire and respect the lesbians who paved the political way for me as a feminist and as a queer.

    I don't in any way equate examining the ignorance and the factions in our community with lesbian-hating.
    and I agree with all of this.

    my continuing to identify as lesbian does at times feel mostly political, in the broadest sense of that term. I also of course value examining ignorance and factions. It does seem lately that in attempting to do so we wind up creating more of the latter and sometimes seem to exhibit the former.

    I just feel the need to speak up when I hear negative lesbian generalizations. I and some of my favorite people right here continue to ID that way.
    ---KwanYin

  2. #42
    Basic Member Artdecogoddess's Avatar
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    [LIST=1][*]
    Quote Originally Posted by Stone_to_bone)[/LIST
    Me? I'm your basic OS stonebutch. I am what I am and am proud of it. I just volunteered at a local queer youth center bc there were no other plain old butch role models for those kids and while its great that there are plenty of gay men and genderqueer youth and transfolks, I figure diversity is good....there just might be a young butch in that crowd that needs to know that proud butches are alive and well and coming to a theatre near you.

    got to rep you for this-I am sure there is a young butch that needs a role model, mentor, advisor etc.

  3. #43
    Basic Member Stone_to_bone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KwanYin
    and I agree with all of this.

    my continuing to identify as lesbian does at times feel mostly political, in the broadest sense of that term. I also of course value examining ignorance and factions. It does seem lately that in attempting to do so we wind up creating more of the latter and sometimes seem to exhibit the former.

    I just feel the need to speak up when I hear negative lesbian generalizations. I and some of my favorite people right here continue to ID that way.
    I hear you Kwan Yin

  4. #44
    Basic Member jeymax's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForeverFemme
    told me she didnt think i was a lesbian bc dating a butch is just like being with a guy.. I was like you have never dated a butch have you?? Because its not like dating a guy and i find it insulting whenever i am told im not a lesbian bc of that...
    Can I ask how it's different than dating a guy?

  5. #45
    Basic Member Krystalle's Avatar
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    Since I have moved to Florida, I have witnessed many lesbians who consider the word butch as negative. There is a lot of discrimination against butches here. When these women use the word dyke, they use it with the same derrogatory bias as the "n" word. I feel as if I am constantly educating people that lesbains come in all shapes, sizes, levels of masculinity, and ethnic backgrounds. A butch many have a masculine side, but she is very much a woman. There are times that I get so angry. Why would we be unkind to our own kind? I have heard women say things like, "If I wanted to date a guy, it would." or "She's the one that looks like a dyke," with a look of disgust on their face. Up North in Minnesota, there were femmes, diesel dykes, butches, stone butches, sporty femmes, soft butches, etc, but no one said it in a derrogatory way. So, yes, I agree with you. It is a problem when women put down other women within their own group. I wish more were educated to accept all lesbians.
    Krystalle the pistol

  6. #46
    Basic Member SweetJane's Avatar
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    Yes I see it here in NM. The lesbians here, though most look butch, are androgynous feminist lesbians. They really get heated about very male ID'd butches and get downright nasty about ftms. There is such a tiny b-f community within the whole state....and not many butches here.....I often wonder what I'm doing here anyway

  7. #47
    Basic Member RopeBurner's Avatar
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    As if really butch looking lesbians/people/women/male id butches and ftms aren't feminist. Helllooooooo

    I have the luxury of living in the San Francisco area where there are all types of butches (thankfully femmes).

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  11. #51
    Basic Member Rowdy4u's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jennylachaude View Post
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  12. #52
    Basic Member da Bonster's Avatar
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    I don't id as anything other than lesbian. Other people feel the need to shove me in a box and staple a label on my forehead for their comfort. My appearance changes with my whimsical nature.

    Now I do have some attributes that my wife thinks makes me butch, and that she finds very attractive. Such as my being mechanically inclined, my inability to sleep unless I know that I have completed my objectives ,I put the gas in her car, do the repairs around the house, mow the grass and or fix the mower as needed.

    The butch o phobia I suppose I really haven't encountered. I grew up in Tampa, and have always leaned towards a more masculine approach to accomplishing my life. In dress, in dating, in my modes of speech, even I suppose to the lower register of my voice. I have not been shunned however, by the lovely ladies of Tampa, or now, in Baton Rouge. Not that I am dating, but I am approached, and gently turn them down, as I am married.

    Here's the thing for me though, I am an open minded individual. I don't define myself as a butch lesbian, if I had to I would be a punk goth alternative human having a spirit experience. I am willing to entertain conflicting viewpoints, and welcome into my space a tolerance for those who are unwilling to be defined as well. Mebbe that has something to do with how I have been received.
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  13. #53
    Basic Member blassr's Avatar
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    i really hate getting shit because i make lesbians look bad...
    b/c being a stereotype was what i always dreamed of growing up to be...
    “Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.” Mae West

  14. #54
    Basic Member Graham's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by joey1 View Post
    Its hard to admit this...

    20 years ago I had friends that made fun of the same stuff..Occasionally I even joined in. Making statements like "why dont she just go back to men" referring to girls dating the butchest of people in our area. I didnt understand. Out of ignorance was fear. Out of fear is lashing out. I was one of those dykes that had to grow into being butch. Let go of the associated fears and accept what is not necessarily acceptable to many. Its taken a long time for me to be able to look in the mirror and be happy with the butch looking back.


    So part of me understands when I hear people making fun of things they dont understand. Only now I am older and wiser and willing to speak my mind.

    ~joey
    This says it all right here. It takes a bit to figure out who we are and how comfortable we are in ourselves and our skin.
    I love my wife.......

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