Physical Disability & Self-Esteem: Life As It Is Now, Coming To Terms, Rising Above

**MiamiButch** · 03-26-2007, 11:59 AM

Ali Mac, I have spatial problems once in a while, especially if I've been off my meds for an extended period of time. I keep running into the edge of any door, my poor toes get a beating from getting run over by my own wheelchair, and my cat has to fish part of his food out of the water bowl, because I put too much in thinking it will fit. I've bumped into people when I've had no one near me, just because I think there's enough space between them and myself. One time, I almost knocked someone to the floor, it was so bad, they just looked at me with disgust, because it happened at a club, and they thought I was drunk. And the worst part is that I don't DRINK alcohol. Not a DROP of the stuff, it all tastes VILE to me. So I know what you're going through, though I can't imagine what it would be like being that way all the time. So, lift your head up, take a deep breath and proceed to step on your friend's toes when they start making a big deal about it. Make sure you're wearing heavy boots, just to make sure they get the point! LOL

**Ali Mac** · 03-26-2007, 02:48 PM

Originally Posted by MiamiButch

I keep running into the edge of any door, my poor toes get a beating from getting run over by my own wheelchair, and my cat has to fish part of his food out of the water bowl, because I put too much in thinking it will fit. I've bumped into people when I've had no one near me, just because I think there's enough space between them and myself.

*Raising hand and joining the club* I don't need to use a wheelchair and so I don't but my poor toes get plenty a stubbing from bumping into doors and such.

Last year at Pride we gathered on top of this hill in a park (this is San Francisco..). With SO many people there it was difficult to balance so I was just teetering back and forth etc and trying to balance the best I could. There were moments when I was walking like a drunk and like you I don't drink...only very rarely do I have an alcoholic drink...and I was SO NOT drunk even though my gait made me look like it. One of my friend's friends who I don';t get along with made some comment along the lines of "You need to learn how to walk, man!" which ticked me off enough so I just walked away from her.

**guitarboi** · 03-26-2007, 02:55 PM

I can't seem to keep up with this thread but hope everyone is doing ok

I see from your avatar Miami that we look alike

Anyone else in here trying to find a remedy for swollen joints and tissues that is not aspirin motrin, naprisin NSAID or DMARDS based? (Allergic to all and I am not about to take an opiate or prednisone for it because the detox is pure helI.

I just put some turmeric and garlic in gel caps hoping that will bring the swelling down. I hear the weather should get nicer soon in new England which should ease the inflammation. Tiger balm and tylenol just ain't cutting it.

I'm seriously thinking of flying down to FL and hang out with my brother until my next gig. Warm weather seems to only help sometimes.

GB

**CalCowboy** · 03-26-2007, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by Ali Mac

One of my friend's friends who I don';t get along with made some comment along the lines of "You need to learn how to walk, man!" which ticked me off enough so I just walked away from her.

I gotta learn that kind of restraint...I always want to comeback with some smart-ass remark, though lately I've managed not to say it out loud.

SF Pride....oh, the good 'ol days...I had to leave SF when I got sick and I'm working my way back to health and the west coast....meet you at Dolores Park in '08 !

**CalCowboy** · 03-26-2007, 03:19 PM

Originally Posted by guitarboi

Anyone else in here trying to find a remedy for swollen joints and tissues that is not aspirin motrin, naprisin NSAID or DMARDS based? (Allergic to all and I am not about to take an opiate or prednisone for it because the detox is pure helI.

I just put some turmeric and garlic in gel caps hoping that will bring the swelling down. I hear the weather should get nicer soon in new England which should ease the inflammation. Tiger balm and tylenol just ain't cutting it.

I'm seriously thinking of flying down to FL and hang out with my brother until my next gig. Warm weather seems to only help sometimes.

GB

Tumeric is the what I've heard too, and raw ginger...it usually takes a lot of it, so I haven't really tried it myself, but a close friend swears by it.. How about EFA's-omega 3 fatty acids / fish oil...it seems to help me...is your swelling the same as inflammation....you can check out
http://nutrition.about.com/od/dietsf...flamfood_2.htm

good luck

**guitarboi** · 03-26-2007, 03:27 PM

Thanks for the prompt reply Cal! Ginger messes up my hormones but I'll be sure to pop some omega 3s on my way out to the sauna at the gym. Will be weird to go and not exercise but I won't beat myself up about it. Yes my swelling is the same as inflammation.
I'll look at the link.
best
GB

Originally Posted by CalCowboy

Tumeric is the what I've heard too, and raw ginger...it usually takes a lot of it, so I haven't really tried it myself, but a close friend swears by it.. How about EFA's-omega 3 fatty acids / fish oil...it seems to help me...is your swelling the same as inflammation....you can check out
http://nutrition.about.com/od/dietsf...flamfood_2.htm

good luck

**Shyfemmekat** · 03-26-2007, 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by Jules

I'm not sure what's going on with me...been really, really depressed the last several days. I'm beginning to wonder if its because I am going back to work next week...lol. I just don't feel up to it right now. I'm really tired, lethargic, just generally don't feel good. Still fighting nausea at times which I just hate! I'm afraid to eat because when I do, I get nauseous...that doesn't exactly help with the weight gain goal.

Its beautiful here today, so I'm thinking I'll get out and go for a drive. Sad thing is, the Corvette is in the shop, so I can't take it, it would be so nice to take the top off and just cruise around and listen to music. I love to do that, I take my camera with me and take pics.

So, I guess that's the plan....go out and enjoy the day, get some sunshine and exercise and start gearing up for work....*sigh* I gotta get out of this funk!!!

Thanks for listening....

Been thinking of you.

I wish I could give you a great big hug. I really do. Have your dear one give you one from me, okay? (((Jules)))

I bet it would feel funny going back to work after being gone for so long. I never got the chance, so I can't say I've been there.

Have they been able to give you anything to help the nausea?

I hear you about the funkies, have had a case of them myself in the last few days. Been trying to focus on the good in my life instead of what is gone/not there right now. The anniversary of when I got sick with the MS is around the corner and that always makes me melancholy, for lack of a better term.

OMG, I wish I could just get into the truck and go anywhere, just be able to drive myself. I am hoping maybe next year. I'd like to drive down to southern Indiana for my 40th. Praying God can make that happen for me. It's not so much to ask, I don't think.

SFK

**Ali Mac** · 03-26-2007, 04:21 PM

Originally Posted by CalCowboy

I gotta learn that kind of restraint...I always want to comeback with some smart-ass remark, though lately I've managed not to say it out loud.

SF Pride....oh, the good 'ol days...I had to leave SF when I got sick and I'm working my way back to health and the west coast....meet you at Dolores Park in '08 !

Well truth be told I could learn how to stand up for myself a little better!

I think sometimes smart ass remarks are appropriate....I mean mostly I don't think they are but if someone says something that's really insulting and it's uncalled for, like around your friends or something that's really offensive then a little smart ass comment doesn't hurt matters for you....it will only make the person who was insulting you embarrassed. And rightfully so.

So yer on the east coast, I was wondering what "the wrong coast" was to you....lol...I used to be on the east coast too until I made my way out to SF.

Hope you do make it to Dolores Park in '08!

**Shyfemmekat** · 03-26-2007, 04:40 PM

Originally Posted by ArchAngel Gabriel

nothing like doing a waking sleep the whole damned night is there lol. ah well I can sleep a bit this afternoon perhaps.

I hear you, Gabe, I didn't sleep well, either. Took a nap today to try and catch up. Sleep deprivation is so not good for my moods which are already not the most stable anyway thanks to the MS and PTSD. A cranky SFK is so not pretty, LOL. Hope you sleep better tonight.

SFK

**akadyke** · 03-26-2007, 04:44 PM

so i have been suffering from a headache for 15 days now. the spasms in my neck and lower back arent any better. i lay flat and close my eyes... and think... that i was 20 again. for an instant, it goes away.

wednesday, i have a doctors appt... please keep it in your thoughts... i learn about the lupus or ???

hope everyone is good and i am thinking about you all.

a.

**Shyfemmekat** · 03-26-2007, 04:45 PM

Originally Posted by CalCowboy

I gotta learn that kind of restraint...I always want to comeback with some smart-ass remark, though lately I've managed not to say it out loud.

LOL, I am working on that, too.

SFK

**Shyfemmekat** · 03-26-2007, 04:47 PM

Originally Posted by akadyke

so i have been suffering from a headache for 15 days now. the spasms in my neck and lower back arent any better. i lay flat and close my eyes... and think... that i was 20 again. for an instant, it goes away.

wednesday, i have a doctors appt... please keep it in your thoughts... i learn about the lupus or ???

hope everyone is good and i am thinking about you all.

a.

This Wednesday? What time? I will pray for you if you let me know what time and what time zone you are.

(((akadyke)))

SFK

**akadyke** · 03-26-2007, 04:54 PM

mst... in new mexico.

at what time... 2pm.

thank you sweets.

a.

**Jules** · 03-26-2007, 05:45 PM

PM, thanks for the visualization of me in my Corvette. Hopefully it will happen tomorrow!

SFK, thanks so much for the hug, I really need it. The spousal equivilant is asleep, so I'll hit her up for one later on.

AKA, I hope your visit to the doctor is a good one. I'll be praying for you along with SFK.

SFK, maybe there's a "funk" virus going around...

**Shyfemmekat** · 03-26-2007, 07:17 PM

Originally Posted by akadyke

mst... in new mexico.

at what time... 2pm.

thank you sweets.

a.

Had to figure out what time that was, it will be 4PM here. Wonder if that falls under visuospatial? They said I had big deficits in that when I had that neuropsych test, I guess.

I have trouble with left and right, too, but I were an honor student in college, top 3% of my class.

SFK

**MiamiButch** · 03-26-2007, 07:34 PM

AliMac, your friend is lucky I was not there to hear that snide little comment. I have NO patience for idiotic ppl and or remarks. Something like that would have probably clicked my psycho button into the ON position and the next thing you would have seen is me running over this person with my wheelchair, letting them get up, running over them again,and again, and again, all the while saying, "Why don't you learn how to RUN, man??"
Sorry, but like I said, I have no patience for idiotic ppl or comments. lol

And NO, I'm NOT violent by nature, STUPID ppl make me violent! lol

Originally Posted by Ali Mac

Well truth be told I could learn how to stand up for myself a little better!

I think sometimes smart ass remarks are appropriate....I mean mostly I don't think they are but if someone says something that's really insulting and it's uncalled for, like around your friends or something that's really offensive then a little smart ass comment doesn't hurt matters for you....it will only make the person who was insulting you embarrassed. And rightfully so.

So yer on the east coast, I was wondering what "the wrong coast" was to you....lol...I used to be on the east coast too until I made my way out to SF.

Hope you do make it to Dolores Park in '08!

**Holliday** · 03-26-2007, 08:27 PM

Originally Posted by akadyke

so i have been suffering from a headache for 15 days now. the spasms in my neck and lower back arent any better. i lay flat and close my eyes... and think... that i was 20 again. for an instant, it goes away.

wednesday, i have a doctors appt... please keep it in your thoughts... i learn about the lupus or ???

hope everyone is good and i am thinking about you all.

a.

Ooohh...ouch. I get headaches (migraine and tension) frequently, but they rarely last more than 2 days. Sending some soooooothing energy...

Holliday
xox

PS-I agree with Jules (?)...there does seem to be a catchy "funk" going around.

**sapho32** · 03-26-2007, 09:37 PM

Originally Posted by guitarboi

I can't seem to keep up with this thread but hope everyone is doing ok

I see from your avatar Miami that we look alike

Anyone else in here trying to find a remedy for swollen joints and tissues that is not aspirin motrin, naprisin NSAID or DMARDS based? (Allergic to all and I am not about to take an opiate or prednisone for it because the detox is pure helI.

I just put some turmeric and garlic in gel caps hoping that will bring the swelling down. I hear the weather should get nicer soon in new England which should ease the inflammation. Tiger balm and tylenol just ain't cutting it.

I'm seriously thinking of flying down to FL and hang out with my brother until my next gig. Warm weather seems to only help sometimes.

GB

You might want to try some topical arnica gel. I'd stay away from the ingestible arnica - it might mess with some of your meds. But the topical gel is fabulous for inflammation, bruises, small cuts. Heals hickeys in one day (well, if you use a lot).

a: so sorry to hear about your headache. I think I'd go crazy with one so long. I'll be praying for your head and your appointment tomorrow.

miami: what an image! I cracked up reading your post about running over stupid people. I can totally see you just ramming them over and over. Thanks for the laugh.

jules: a lot of us seem to suffer from depression. I know I do. I'm sending you a prayer now, for hope and energy and anything else you may need. You are in my thoughts.

hugs to everyone.
night night.

**hellboi** · 03-27-2007, 01:10 AM

Ya know..I wrote this whole long post...but then *before posting it*...I read it..and i thought to myself "Naw!...oh HECK no! I'm not letting alla life's crap get to me anymmore!"
I refuse to allow myself to sit around and wallow in my self pity for one more second! I've survived far too much to allow lost love and dealing with illness to put me off my goals...or keep me down and depressed.
I am going to take control of my life again..it has controlled me for far too long. I still get around pretty good for a middle aged, one legged man.....and if I trade my old car in for an automatic..I can still drive myself for ....short hops anyway...good enough to get to the grocery store or the doc's office...and..if I'm feeling to under the weather for that..I can make it to the bus....or just stay home.
I'm gonna quit sitting around waiting for death and LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

**guitarboi** · 03-27-2007, 07:11 AM

Good for you!

Originally Posted by hellboi

Ya know..I wrote this whole long post...but then *before posting it*...I read it..and i thought to myself "Naw!...oh HECK no! I'm not letting alla life's crap get to me anymmore!"
I refuse to allow myself to sit around and wallow in my self pity for one more second! I've survived far too much to allow lost love and dealing with illness to put me off my goals...or keep me down and depressed.
I am going to take control of my life again..it has controlled me for far too long. I still get around pretty good for a middle aged, one legged man.....and if I trade my old car in for an automatic..I can still drive myself for ....short hops anyway...good enough to get to the grocery store or the doc's office...and..if I'm feeling to under the weather for that..I can make it to the bus....or just stay home.
I'm gonna quit sitting around waiting for death and LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

**guitarboi** · 03-27-2007, 07:12 AM

Thanks for the suggestion. I use arnica for bruises but it doesn't seem to help for this ...but I appreciate your reply

Originally Posted by sapho32

You might want to try some topical arnica gel. I'd stay away from the ingestible arnica - it might mess with some of your meds. But the topical gel is fabulous for inflammation, bruises, small cuts. Heals hickeys in one day (well, if you use a lot).

a: so sorry to hear about your headache. I think I'd go crazy with one so long. I'll be praying for your head and your appointment tomorrow.

miami: what an image! I cracked up reading your post about running over stupid people. I can totally see you just ramming them over and over. Thanks for the laugh.

jules: a lot of us seem to suffer from depression. I know I do. I'm sending you a prayer now, for hope and energy and anything else you may need. You are in my thoughts.

hugs to everyone.
night night.

**sapho32** · 03-27-2007, 07:44 AM

I just saw your little tag line:

eat pussy, not cows

You are seriously funny. Love it. LOVE IT!

**Peregrine Magic** · 03-27-2007, 08:42 AM

Originally Posted by hellboi

I refuse to allow myself to sit around and wallow in my self pity for one more second! I've survived far too much to allow lost love and dealing with illness to put me off my goals...or keep me down and depressed. I am going to take control of my life again..it has controlled me for far too long.

Good for you! This is so important and such a challenge for me personally. Yes, everybody's going to die, and yes it can be valuable to have the chance to say good-bye to our loved ones. But my family members who died young and suddenly at least lived their lives to the last minute. I ponder death and see myself as separate from most other people w-a-a-a-y too much of the time. It's obsessive and pointless, but it's the truth.

I know many of us either have a "terminal" diagnosis or are dealing with diseases very likely to kill us (not to mention the other stresses of life). How are other people coping with this? How do you move on and live whatever good time you have? Anybody got any wisdom to share?

Peregrine

**MiamiButch** · 03-27-2007, 02:11 PM

Peregrine, for me, life is like a lone, precious candle that we carry inside ourselves. It is my duty to protect it, enjoy the warmth, light and illumination that it brings to not only
to myself, but to all those whos' lives are touched by my flame. There may be some shadows and perhaps the light will uncover something precious along the path of life, but all the while keep remembering that though I must keep it lit for as long as I can, that, like all things, soon enough it will flicker and die, but the experiences,joys, laughter and the memories that it has revealed along the way light other candles and so the light that shines inside of all of us is perpetuated, so in reality, we truly never die...

**hellboi** · 03-27-2007, 02:24 PM

It was not that long ago that my prognosis was "terminal"...in fact...I have been told that twice...and both times I have proved it wrong. *sometimes I sorta feel invincible (sp?)* When ya think about it...all any of us has is the moment at hand..the next is not guaranteed to happen. a terminal prognosis makes us think waaay too much about the time we have left...and that makes it more difficult to think on the positive side.
I have never been one to do as I'm told LOL...and I have always been determined to do a thing the instant I am told that I can't.
Like the poem says "Do not go quietly into that good night. Rage, rage agaginst the light."
that is what we must do...and we must not allow ourselves to succumb to depression and anxiety. There isn't any easy way to do that..and I reckon we must all find our own way in it.
I suggest obligating yourself to something that demands your concentration...fill the days...especially the ones you're told you will not have.
I think that the human body is capable of doing whatever the mind wills it to do. Dominate the body...make it submit to your will...and refuse the thoughts that tell you that you cannot accomplish what you want.
It works for me, anyway.

Originally Posted by Peregrine Magic

Good for you! This is so important and such a challenge for me personally. Yes, everybody's going to die, and yes it can be valuable to have the chance to say good-bye to our loved ones. But my family members who died young and suddenly at least lived their lives to the last minute. I ponder death and see myself as separate from most other people w-a-a-a-y too much of the time. It's obsessive and pointless, but it's the truth.

I know many of us either have a "terminal" diagnosis or are dealing with diseases very likely to kill us (not to mention the other stresses of life). How are other people coping with this? How do you move on and live whatever good time you have? Anybody got any wisdom to share?

Peregrine

**corkey47** · 03-27-2007, 02:26 PM

Originally Posted by guitarboi

Thanks for the suggestion. I use arnica for bruises but it doesn't seem to help for this ...but I appreciate your reply

Have you tried papaya or papaya extract, works for me for bruises

**guitarboi** · 03-27-2007, 06:00 PM

glad you got a laugh out of it

Originally Posted by sapho32

I just saw your little tag line:

eat pussy, not cows

You are seriously funny. Love it. LOVE IT!

**guitarboi** · 03-27-2007, 06:02 PM

Do you mean enzymes? Can't take them. I'm not bruised. It's either mechanical and or inflammation. But I appreciate your suggestion

Originally Posted by corkey47

Have you tried papaya or papaya extract, works for me for bruises

**Jules** · 03-27-2007, 06:05 PM

"you must spread around some reputation points before giving to Miami Butch again"

Peregrine, for me, life is like a lone, precious candle that we carry inside ourselves. It is my duty to protect it, enjoy the warmth, light and illumination that it brings to not only
to myself, but to all those whos' lives are touched by my flame. There may be some shadows and perhaps the light will uncover something precious along the path of life, but all the while keep remembering that though I must keep it lit for as long as I can, that, like all things, soon enough it will flicker and die, but the experiences,joys, laughter and the memories that it has revealed along the way light other candles and so the light that shines inside of all of us is perpetuated, so in reality, we truly never die...
__________________

Beautifully said....

**guitarboi** · 03-27-2007, 06:26 PM

So I'm going in some time in the next couple of days to see my rheume. She wanted to prescribed me prednisone (oh just a quick dose, really high to low she said) to which I replied:
HAHAHAHAHAHA...yeah um...NO! on the

I will only take pred if my life depends on it because the side effects scare me into a state of suffering that I don't wish on my worst asshat enemy...really I wish no one, no matter how cruel one has been to have to suffer like I have on that drug.

Why do some people handle prednisone ok (and I say ok , cuz no one I know likes the side effects except maybe the euphoric high at the beginning) and others like me suffer?

She wants to out rule carpal tunnel for it could be that but most likely Sjogren's being a bastard.

As far as guitar goes, I'm not going to stop playing. I am resting but I absolutely refuse to give it up ever again. I have modified guitars for flare ups.

**bigbadbutchdaddy** · 03-27-2007, 06:35 PM

Peregrine...
No magical answers here. I would like you to elaborate, if you would, on your comment about seperating yourself from most people.

For myself, my faith, reading The Word, and prayer really sustain me the most. Drugs and friends/family are tied for second. Pain hurts and I admit it! When I hear of those who are UP all the time, my hat is off to them and I'd like to know their secrets.

Depression creeps into some lives as well, and uninvited every time! So there's a lot to handle. For me, being single is another challenge. TLC from a caring femme does wonders, right ladies?

So, the bottom line for me is my faith and my support circle.
Blessings to all

**Shyfemmekat** · 03-27-2007, 07:13 PM

Smiley mail is leaving the station tomorrow and Thursday...watch your mailboxes...Gabe, I got you covered for Friday...

SFK

**Shyfemmekat** · 03-27-2007, 07:16 PM

Originally Posted by hellboi

Ya know..I wrote this whole long post...but then *before posting it*...I read it..and i thought to myself "Naw!...oh HECK no! I'm not letting alla life's crap get to me anymmore!"
I refuse to allow myself to sit around and wallow in my self pity for one more second! I've survived far too much to allow lost love and dealing with illness to put me off my goals...or keep me down and depressed.
I am going to take control of my life again..it has controlled me for far too long. I still get around pretty good for a middle aged, one legged man.....and if I trade my old car in for an automatic..I can still drive myself for ....short hops anyway...good enough to get to the grocery store or the doc's office...and..if I'm feeling to under the weather for that..I can make it to the bus....or just stay home.
I'm gonna quit sitting around waiting for death and LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can I get a witness up in here?! Go hellboi! Email me and give me some of that awesome attitude!

Hugs,
SFK

**Shyfemmekat** · 03-27-2007, 07:22 PM

Originally Posted by Jules

"you must spread around some reputation points before giving to Miami Butch again"

Beautifully said....

S'awright Jules, I repped MiamiButch. How is Jules feeling today?

SFK

**Shyfemmekat** · 03-27-2007, 07:34 PM

Originally Posted by guitarboi

So I'm going in some time in the next couple of days to see my rheume. She wanted to prescribed me prednisone (oh just a quick dose, really high to low she said) to which I replied:
HAHAHAHAHAHA...yeah um...NO! on the

I will only take pred if my life depends on it because the side effects scare me into a state of suffering that I don't wish on my worst asshat enemy...really I wish no one, no matter how cruel one has been to have to suffer like I have on that drug.

Why do some people handle prednisone ok (and I say ok , cuz no one I know likes the side effects except maybe the euphoric high at the beginning) and others like me suffer?

She wants to out rule carpal tunnel for it could be that but most likely Sjogren's being a bastard.

As far as guitar goes, I'm not going to stop playing. I am resting but I absolutely refuse to give it up ever again. I have modified guitars for flare ups.

I hear you, GB. My last hospitalization for 5 days of 1000mg IV Solu-Medrol left me feeling swollen and sick. I think my MS will have to get mighty bad to go through that again. It didn't work as well the second time, which was disheartening. Plus the mood swings were hideous, I was WAY up and then almost suicidal. Not fun. I will say that the increased energy level was sweet, but I'd rather get it some other way.

BTW, GB, do you have any clips of your music online anywhere? I'd love to hear it.

SFK

**Holliday** · 03-27-2007, 07:50 PM

NOOO!!! My goodness, I remember you on prednisone, and it was terrible. I hope you never, ever have to go through that again.

Holliday
xox

PS-But you can say "asshat" all you want. It makes me laugh.

Originally Posted by guitarboi

So I'm going in some time in the next couple of days to see my rheume. She wanted to prescribed me prednisone (oh just a quick dose, really high to low she said) to which I replied:
HAHAHAHAHAHA...yeah um...NO! on the

I will only take pred if my life depends on it because the side effects scare me into a state of suffering that I don't wish on my worst asshat enemy...really I wish no one, no matter how cruel one has been to have to suffer like I have on that drug.

Why do some people handle prednisone ok (and I say ok , cuz no one I know likes the side effects except maybe the euphoric high at the beginning) and others like me suffer?

She wants to out rule carpal tunnel for it could be that but most likely Sjogren's being a bastard.

As far as guitar goes, I'm not going to stop playing. I am resting but I absolutely refuse to give it up ever again. I have modified guitars for flare ups.

**Jules** · 03-27-2007, 08:17 PM

SFK,
I'm still in that funk!!! I do get my car back tomorrow, so maybe a little drive will help, of course the beautiful weather is over and its supposed to rain, but I can live with that.

I have COPD and was on steroids off and on for about 2 years, before my gastric bypass. I don't have that much trouble breathing anymore, so don't need them, but the one thing I remember the most is how I ate like a trucker!! I could never get enough food. Plus I swelled up like a balloon too and I was already really big...lol. I don't miss that at all.

Guitar Boy, I'm with SFK...I'd love to hear some of your music...

Here's hoping I feel better tomrrow. Also, I'm having this "anxious" feeling, why, I don't know...I just feel apprehensive for some reason. There's really nothing going on to make me feel this way....maybe its the thought of going back to work...who knows.

**Sweetstonefemme** · 03-27-2007, 08:30 PM

YES YES YES, thats the way to think........now practice practice practice. I feel much the same way. My partner has been treating me as "just a brain injury", and I cant take it anymore, sure i need help with stuff but i want to have fun too. I signed up for a pottery class, throwing pots and she is concerned i cant afford it. I would rather eat jelly sanwichs then just sit here. Trade your car in, grab your independance and gooooooooooooooooo

Originally Posted by hellboi

Ya know..I wrote this whole long post...but then *before posting it*...I read it..and i thought to myself "Naw!...oh HECK no! I'm not letting alla life's crap get to me anymmore!"
I refuse to allow myself to sit around and wallow in my self pity for one more second! I've survived far too much to allow lost love and dealing with illness to put me off my goals...or keep me down and depressed.
I am going to take control of my life again..it has controlled me for far too long. I still get around pretty good for a middle aged, one legged man.....and if I trade my old car in for an automatic..I can still drive myself for ....short hops anyway...good enough to get to the grocery store or the doc's office...and..if I'm feeling to under the weather for that..I can make it to the bus....or just stay home.
I'm gonna quit sitting around waiting for death and LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Sweetstonefemme** · 03-27-2007, 08:34 PM

Common I bet a SFK even cranky is still PRETTY...........

Originally Posted by Shyfemmekat

I hear you, Gabe, I didn't sleep well, either. Took a nap today to try and catch up. Sleep deprivation is so not good for my moods which are already not the most stable anyway thanks to the MS and PTSD. A cranky SFK is so not pretty, LOL. Hope you sleep better tonight.

SFK

**NYC femme BBW** · 03-27-2007, 10:03 PM

What beautiful words, MiamiButch...truly inspiring.

Originally Posted by MiamiButch

Peregrine, for me, life is like a lone, precious candle that we carry inside ourselves. It is my duty to protect it, enjoy the warmth, light and illumination that it brings to not only
to myself, but to all those whos' lives are touched by my flame. There may be some shadows and perhaps the light will uncover something precious along the path of life, but all the while keep remembering that though I must keep it lit for as long as I can, that, like all things, soon enough it will flicker and die, but the experiences,joys, laughter and the memories that it has revealed along the way light other candles and so the light that shines inside of all of us is perpetuated, so in reality, we truly never die...