Physical Disability & Self-Esteem: Life As It Is Now, Coming To Terms, Rising Above

[ArchAngel Gabriel]

Loved this post. I have always loved your posts and your attitude. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. Don't be a stranger, honey. Best to you and yours.

thanks shy. still trying to get used to this new format. i wish we had our thread list back like it was. now it keeps telling me miami posted at 3.44 am which i believe hy did back awhile ago. not that i mind or anything, miami . i know i should post more so i shall make a concerted effort to do so.

I was unexpectedly transferred to the center monday through friday 8-4 minus lunch breaks. This has been quite an adjustment for me. I love the people I work with. I want to bap some of the staff who want to gold brick and back stab but hey I guess that is part of the territory.

my fibro is really flairing right now. mainly misfiring my lower back and left foot/ankle. odd i know but hey ive never done anything straight not even march. I finally have my initial dr appointment next wed. took me 4 months to get it. I am working on my list of things i want to go over with them to see if i can get things looked at properly.

on a better note. we are going to michigan to the music festival. for sure. if anyone else is going lets meet and greet. I can not wait till august !!!!!

shy i hope all this weather has not thrown you for a loop as it seems to have for me. may it only be gentle rain and not tornado activity.

g.

[Lien]

Loved this post. I have always loved your posts and your attitude. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. Don't be a stranger, honey. Best to you and yours.

Thank you for your insightful and inspiring words, Gabriel & Shy. I know my that individuals like you two and my girlfriend go through a LOT on a daily basis and I admire your strength and dedication.

I can't help but wonder how selfish and inconsiderate my actions may seem... I'm physically abled and should stay strong for my girlfriend during her healing process, yet I tend to focus on is how frustrated I am over what she can't give me at the moment. I've been taking care of my own needs on my own time, but it's getting to the point where it gives me more feelings of sadness than relief. I need to stay stronger but I don't know what to do about my own feelings.

I'm sorry if I'm sounding like a broken record!

[ArchAngel Gabriel]

Thank you for your insightful and inspiring words, Gabriel & Shy. I know my that individuals like you two and my girlfriend go through a LOT on a daily basis and I admire your strength and dedication.

I can't help but wonder how selfish and inconsiderate my actions may seem... I'm physically abled and should stay strong for my girlfriend during her healing process, yet I tend to focus on is how frustrated I am over what she can't give me at the moment. I've been taking care of my own needs on my own time, but it's getting to the point where it gives me more feelings of sadness than relief. I need to stay stronger but I don't know what to do about my own feelings.

I'm sorry if I'm sounding like a broken record!

please just tell her what you have told us. there are many ways to enjoy a healthy sexual relationship. sometimes it takes using unique methods. getting creative can be a fun process actually. no matter the outcome I would say please just talk with your girl friend.

[Shyfemmekat]

please just tell her what you have told us. there are many ways to enjoy a healthy sexual relationship. sometimes it takes using unique methods. getting creative can be a fun process actually. no matter the outcome I would say please just talk with your girl friend.

And aren't there always style points for creativity?

[Shyfemmekat]

Starfire in your post you said :

"As a femme with a bit of tomboy sometimes, I feel less than during my low points. I feel undesirable because I don't work fulltime, have a big steady income"

I can tell you from my point of view as a butch that I have run into the same feelings and have also experienced some people who didn't even want to be friends with me because I am out on 100% disability, and am not working. It's hard to explain to someone that is working what it feels like to be judged by the cash in the bank instead of the character of the person. I struggled with feeling "less than" for a year or two after being unable to work, and finally decided that anyone that didn't want to be friends with me because of my financial status obviously was someone that I didn't need or want as a friend anyway.
Sometimes we forget that we are not defined by what we do, or how much we make, that we are the sum of all parts. Maybe I am naive, but I feel that is something that people in general forget, and what we forget about ourselves. That was what made it so hard for me when I stopped working, for so long I had defined myself by the job I did, and the amount of things that the money allowed me to have. To wake up one day and realize that you are so much more that just that part was a eye opening experience for me.
You will find all types of people on here, some that work, some that can't work and some that are not working at the moment, remember that we are more than what we do in life, we are a sum of our experiences, or thoughts and feelings.

Well said. We are not how much money we make, what kind of job we do (or if we have one at all!), etc., but by what kind of person we are. My two cents. If operating outside the norm of belief on such things makes one naive, please direct me to the sign-up counter.

[Shyfemmekat]

Hope all y'all are having a good day. Will try and come back later to catch up some more posts. Am having quite a lot of pain since my trip to run errands last night. Freakin' shoulder. Grrrr.

[Shyfemmekat]

thanks shy. still trying to get used to this new format. i wish we had our thread list back like it was. now it keeps telling me miami posted at 3.44 am which i believe hy did back awhile ago. not that i mind or anything, miami . i know i should post more so i shall make a concerted effort to do so.

I was unexpectedly transferred to the center monday through friday 8-4 minus lunch breaks. This has been quite an adjustment for me. I love the people I work with. I want to bap some of the staff who want to gold brick and back stab but hey I guess that is part of the territory.

my fibro is really flairing right now. mainly misfiring my lower back and left foot/ankle. odd i know but hey ive never done anything straight not even march. I finally have my initial dr appointment next wed. took me 4 months to get it. I am working on my list of things i want to go over with them to see if i can get things looked at properly.

on a better note. we are going to michigan to the music festival. for sure. if anyone else is going lets meet and greet. I can not wait till august !!!!!

shy i hope all this weather has not thrown you for a loop as it seems to have for me. may it only be gentle rain and not tornado activity.

g.

I know...I am still getting used to it myself.

Sorry you are having a flare, that really sucks. So is your doctor appointment with a specialist? It's smart to have a list of questions like that. I did that at my last neuro appointment and it really helped.

Hope you have a great time at the festival. Where are you staying there?

The weather has been moody. When my sweetie came to visit last month it was supposed to be mostly nice weather. So what happened? It rained almost every freakin' day. Actually maybe it did rain every day. Correct me if I am wrong, PK. It has stormed this weekend but I have welcomed it. Nothing really powerful yet, no sirens. Won't be long, though. They gave me a weather radio when I moved in here...no lie. It signals alerts and has a little light that changes color:

Midland WR-100C Weather Radio
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00...VVXETBJYVEFPJC

If you don't adjust the volume it will also make you jump out of your skin, LOL. The first time it went off I had to peel myself off the ceiling.

[hellboi]

So what's up with this? Did you hear whether it's a go?

Yes, I resume chemo this week. Green tea is working wonders for the kidneys..but I still miss my coffee lol

[Rhoda]

Here is the title of a book i purchased to help me with being solo........ a friend of mine said that her mother always told her "YOU are responsible for your OWN sexual pleasure, not your lover."

I have finally gotten it though my thick head that her words have merit.... so here it is...

"Tantric Sex for Women: A Guide for Lesbian, Bi, Hetero and Solo Lovers"

by Christa Schulte
Pub: Hunter House, 2005

ISBN: 0-89793-445-8

"This is a book for women who feel desire, who yearn for more pleasure, who are curious and adventurous. It arises from my love for sexual ecstasy and from the fun I have in creating new, playful games. It is also a result of my being touched by all the women who open themselves to love, happiness, and ecstasy in my courses and in individual and couples therapy" Christa Schulte

Chapter I The Wisdom of Tantra for Women: Gaining Female Knowledge about Female Desire

Chapter II Setting the Stage: Arriving at Home in Your Own Body

Chapter III Enticing Body and Soul into Pleasure: Tuning In, Playing, and Practicing

Chapter IV Fantasies in the Female Subconscious

Chapter V Wild and Tender Games with Yourself

Chapter VI Games and Exercises for Two

Chapter VII Massages That Have What It Takes

Chapter VIII Rituals of Transformation

Chapter IX Games for the Expansion of Love Energy

Chapter X Pleasure as a Way of Meditation

Chaper XI Concluding Without Ending

Appendix A. Lesbian Love as a Form of Self-Love
Appendix B. Sexual Energy as a Healing Force


Hope this helps.

[StarFire]

Just poking my nose in real quick. My shot is kicking my ass today...must have been an extra spicy batch of Interferon. Anyway I am wicked sick, y'all. Thanks for phone calls, good peoples. Should be feeling better tomorrow. Am getting some TLC and you know how that helps when you are feeling bad.

Hope everyone is having a good day today. Will come back and answer posts in depth tomorrow most likely.

I am sending you healing, peace of mind and respite energies! Feel better soon, Shy.

[StarFire]

These issues are MUCH more common than we realize.... and believe it or not these same issues are in other cultures around the world..... My first experience with a male id butch taught me that they are (speaking generally here folks) wired up in their heads as all male all the time, so to speak. They use "command" language as their primary communication style, and in many relationships i have known over the years, the most frustrating thing for most Butches is that they do not understand or "get" the traditional (united states) feminine style of communication....

Common mistakes are telling the butch (sometimes doesn't matter if male id or not), "figure it out" "I'm not gonna explain it to you, you should know what you did wrong".

All this does is increase the frustration level of the butch and continues to anger the femme because she thinks hye is playing stupid on purpose to piss her off..... nothing could be more wrong.... Clear communication can make or break a relationship into little pieces..... it's sad really, the information is out there, you just have to go to the library or google it online.... My take on this is that because when a butch has a female body presentation, it is easy to assume that the female bodied person is also wired to communicate like a feminine woman..... but that's not what is happening, my simple suggestion is to speak to a butch like you would your brother or dad and see if anything changes.....

I could talk all night about communication studies and what i have learned over many years of study.... of course it doesn't mean I'm a perfect communicator, because I have offended many people many times without meaning to, because i had a clueless moment and spoke out of turn, or something fell outta my mouth like a gumball machine...... I am continually embarrassed by my stupidity and lack of decorum at times...... and then there are other moments when i make perfect sense and say the right things at all the right times...... guess after that fire raged through my head things got a little toasted??? Well, that's the only thread i have to hang onto at this time.... Sorry, hope that made sense?

The term "2 x 4 butch" is a rude illustration of my point.... the idea that he has to be hit with a 2x4 to "get it", whatever "IT" is...... he is not clueless or playing stupid or trying to piss you off, or get away with something. He REALLY does not know what the hell you are talking about, because the feminine style is "persuasion" or something like that, i would have to look it up again to give you the correct terminology.... so unless you were raised to use or your brain was wired to "use" the feminine style the "command" language style person will never understand the "rules of engagement", in other words, what the heck is going on with all the talk talk talk and no information to hold onto.

Perhaps you know someone or heard someone say to their partner, "just spit it out, what the heck do you want from me? What do you want me to do?" That person is looking for instructions, a "command" request..... they can't decipher what they don't understand.... it's like asking someone to tell you what time it is, and in response to your request for the time, they give you an hour long monologue about why Suzie Q left her bf and what she should have done, and why it is never gonna fly with the way she dresses or styles her poodles before the dog show...... see how the two styles clash and make communication impossible???

Okay, now that i've done another marathon post, i will go for now and check back later if you have any questions or concerns, hope this helped a little bit.....

Remember the tv sitcom "Friends" and the one with Jerry Seinfeld? They are excellent at presenting all the strange nuances of human communication and meltdown of communication...... take a second look at those shows, you will "see" what i "mean"

Thank you so much , Rhoda. You get me.

[StarFire]

Starfire in your post you said :

"As a femme with a bit of tomboy sometimes, I feel less than during my low points. I feel undesirable because I don't work fulltime, have a big steady income"

I can tell you from my point of view as a butch that I have run into the same feelings and have also experienced some people who didn't even want to be friends with me because I am out on 100% disability, and am not working. It's hard to explain to someone that is working what it feels like to be judged by the cash in the bank instead of the character of the person. I struggled with feeling "less than" for a year or two after being unable to work, and finally decided that anyone that didn't want to be friends with me because of my financial status obviously was someone that I didn't need or want as a friend anyway.
Sometimes we forget that we are not defined by what we do, or how much we make, that we are the sum of all parts. Maybe I am naive, but I feel that is something that people in general forget, and what we forget about ourselves. That was what made it so hard for me when I stopped working, for so long I had defined myself by the job I did, and the amount of things that the money allowed me to have. To wake up one day and realize that you are so much more that just that part was a eye opening experience for me.
You will find all types of people on here, some that work, some that can't work and some that are not working at the moment, remember that we are more than what we do in life, we are a sum of our experiences, or thoughts and feelings.

Yes PK, I can so relate. My ex kept telling me how useless I was and I used hym. One day I'm a okay the next I was words I won't repeat. I gave every cent I made to the household and it was never enough. Told it wasn't my money and I don't contribute...ah well... I do not care what anyone makes as far as a dollar amount. I share everything I have. I always have. I always will. Besides, I just sold my first book. Looks like I'll have an income after all.

And I am heeding what you said here! Thank you so much!

[StarFire]

Hi!

I had a friend who had one son with Asperger's and another child with Organic Brain Syndrome and it was a learning experience. I'd had no previous experience with it and it's been years ago. I would love for you to share any info about the conditions you mentioned. I strive to be more educated.

I'm pleased that you decided to post here. We always welcome new folks.

The issues surrounding being unable to work, being on disability income only, etc., are a pain in the ass sometimes. I have felt "less than" because of my inability to be on equal footing financially. Icky feeling, especially when people are negative. I'm at a point now where I can say, "Hey, this is how it is." Took a while, though, to be honest.

This is a safe place to vent, as I mentioned in the opening post for the thread. Another reason why I like to bump that post in the thread periodically. We all need a safe, supportive place to talk about things.

I personally have MS, and part of my experience with MS thus far involves cognitive issues and some vocal stuff. Forgetting things, stuttering at times , slow word recall, and of course some physical crap like weakness, etc.

I don't do mind games. Don't have time for them. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I am not afraid to ask for clarification or ask someone to repeat. It still pisses me off but I do it anyway. Sometimes there is a skip in my record and I may not catch everything the first time. This does NOT mean I wasn't listening and when I get accused of not paying attention it makes me angry. Anyone I care about understands.

I also deal with other conditions: fibromyalgia, edema (from a past blood clot in my leg), PTSD and bipolar. Bipolar is the worst thing I deal with, I think. I have days when it wants to kill me, to be blunt. The other things are hassles more than anything.

I've had to make some concessions due to my conditions. High heels, at least for right now, are out. I have a no-fuss hairstyle. I try to keep my life pretty simple so I don't get freaked out. I keep myself surrounded with good people and I take my meds.

I am blessed in that I have had a lot of support along the way. My boyfriend is extremely understanding and doesn't think I am any less femme because of the things I deal with. I am lucky and I know it. My friends know the conditions I have and that there I times I have to work around them and there are times when I may not be the most fun person to be around.

I have days when all this health and emotional crap gets me down, too. That's why I started this thread. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

I am going to leave some links for you Shy.

http://www.tsa-usa.org/

My tics and other TS issues have resolved greatly since I turned 50 . I am now 53. I am unmedicated, never took anything more than neuroleptics and valium. And they both took care of some of the TS as well as the epilepsy. I have no seizure issues in almost 3 years. I learned many alternative ways of dealing with both. So far, so good. If I begin to physically/ vocally tic out of control, I utilize a very low dosage of valerian.

http://www.epilepsy.com/

http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/

ASD = Autistic Spectrum Disorders
That , too has improved as I have aged. I learned many, many coping skills. I amnot unfeeling, I think in pictures quite simply. I have had loving and sexual relationships. I have deep emotions. No I don't tantrum or become aggressive. I am not as awkward as I was socially in my childhood to mid 30's. Actually I am most appropriate. I do feel. I am loving. People mistakenly believe we are incapable. I am EXTREMELY high functioning.

http://www.nationalautismassociation...FY9M5Qod6zd7UA

I'll post more later. I am feeling exceedingly exposed. Yes, I did it. Ijust need to go for now.

Hugs for all of you!

[Shyfemmekat]

I am going to leave some links for you Shy.

http://www.tsa-usa.org/

My tics and other TS issues have resolved greatly since I turned 50 . I am now 53. I am unmedicated, never took anything more than neuroleptics and valium. And they both took care of some of the TS as well as the epilepsy. I have no seizure issues in almost 3 years. I learned many alternative ways of dealing with both. So far, so good. If I begin to physically/ vocally tic out of control, I utilize a very low dosage of valerian.

http://www.epilepsy.com/

http://www.epilepsyfoundation.org/

ASD = Autistic Spectrum Disorders
That , too has improved as I have aged. I learned many, many coping skills. I amnot unfeeling, I think in pictures quite simply. I have had loving and sexual relationships. I have deep emotions. No I don't tantrum or become aggressive. I am not as awkward as I was socially in my childhood to mid 30's. Actually I am most appropriate. I do feel. I am loving. People mistakenly believe we are incapable. I am EXTREMELY high functioning.

http://www.nationalautismassociation...FY9M5Qod6zd7UA

I'll post more later. I am feeling exceedingly exposed. Yes, I did it. Ijust need to go for now.

Hugs for all of you!

Yay! Thank you so much! This is exactly what I was needing. Now I can pull up some windows and get on it.

I know that was a lot to share...I appreciate you sharing so much of yourself here. It's hard, especially when you're a private person by nature. I know that from my own experience.

[hellboi]

Good morning folks.

[aceman131963]

Hey everyone,

I'm glad I came across this forum- it's been validating reading through some of the posts. I'm a femme who's in a relationship with a stone butch who has major back pain. we've been together for 2 years and during the past year, her pain has gotten worse and our sex life has been non-existent for over a year. She is my best friend and I love and adore her with all my heart, but it's been excruciating for me to suppress my needs for her. The good news is that we've been to a few couples counseling sessions to talk about intimacy issues, she's had back surgery and is currently recovering from it, and she's made an appointment with an endocrinologist to see if she has any hormonal imbalances that may also contribute to her low libido.

With all of these changes, however, I'm still feeling very lonely. It'll be another few months before she completely heals from the surgery. She is fully committed to getting better and making it work for us, but I can't help but be hit with periods of depression and sadness over what she hasn't been giving me. Is this unreasonable and selfish? It's just very tough because in the 2 years we've been together, her pain has always been a huge part of our relationship and it's hard for me to imagine how our lives would be otherwise.

Any advice/suggestions/comments/whatever would be dearly welcomed!!!

Hey Lien, I know exacttly what you're talking about. Except I am the one with the physical problems. My partner has no sexual desire at all b/c of her meds and she also is not happy with my journey into transgenderism. And I have broken up with her b/c of that but I could not live without her. She is the sweetest person and I love her to death. So I guess I have accepted no sex, though I do keep trying. Hope this is helpful in some way. Good Luck!

[aceman131963]

Yes PK, I can so relate. My ex kept telling me how useless I was and I used hym. One day I'm a okay the next I was words I won't repeat. I gave every cent I made to the household and it was never enough. Told it wasn't my money and I don't contribute...ah well... I do not care what anyone makes as far as a dollar amount. I share everything I have. I always have. I always will. Besides, I just sold my first book. Looks like I'll have an income after all.

And I am heeding what you said here! Thank you so much!

I will try to do what you are doing. I have a hard time. I feel like a loser. I just went to my 25th college reunion and when people asked what I did, I was embarrased but I think they understood. But you know that all had great jobs and I have nothing. So it is hard.

[StarFire]

Ace, you do that. You hang in there and I will also send you healing, strength and peace of mind energies! If I can do it, YOU can do it! I got faith. You are not a loser!!!! None of us are losers!

Star

Shy, Thank you for being the wonderful woman you are!

Star

[Shyfemmekat]

Getting ready to head to bed but just wanted to say I hope everyone had a good day today.

[aceman131963]

Ace, you do that. You hang in there and I will also send you healing, strength and peace of mind energies! If I can do it, YOU can do it! I got faith. You are not a loser!!!! None of us are losers!

Star

Shy, Thank you for being the wonderful woman you are!

Star

Thanks so much Star! I will do my best. And Shy, you really are an amazing woman. I have enjoyed your posts and everyone's in here. Thanks for starting such a great thread! God bless

[Lien]

Hey Lien, I know exacttly what you're talking about. Except I am the one with the physical problems. My partner has no sexual desire at all b/c of her meds and she also is not happy with my journey into transgenderism. And I have broken up with her b/c of that but I could not live without her. She is the sweetest person and I love her to death. So I guess I have accepted no sex, though I do keep trying. Hope this is helpful in some way. Good Luck!

Thanks for reading and replying, Ace! I'm sorry to hear that things did not end well with you and your partner... it's such a frustrating situation when meds and physical problems are mixed into the relationship.

I was wondering if you felt that both of you had exhausted all your options before deciding to break up. I know you also mentioned that she wasn't supportive of your transition, which in a way is a dealbreaker in itself. I ask this because I'm trying to set limits for myself so that I know what is a healthy and unhealthy relationship for me and my own partner.

Many many thanks again, Ace.

[aceman131963]

Thanks for reading and replying, Ace! I'm sorry to hear that things did not end well with you and your partner... it's such a frustrating situation when meds and physical problems are mixed into the relationship.

I was wondering if you felt that both of you had exhausted all your options before deciding to break up. I know you also mentioned that she wasn't supportive of your transition, which in a way is a dealbreaker in itself. I ask this because I'm trying to set limits for myself so that I know what is a healthy and unhealthy relationship for me and my own partner.

Many many thanks again, Ace.

Thanks Lien! We never stayed broken up, I loved her too much and I guess we decided to try to work on things. Yeah the transgender issue would have been a deal breaker if I was looking into it when we first met. But we were together and I told her what would be going on but she didn't want to leave me. I guess we are soulmates. She tries. It's a weird situation but I guess it works b/c here we are.

[Shyfemmekat]

Ace, your mailbox is full..

[Shyfemmekat]

Good morning, good peoples. It's hot and humid, to say the least, and it's not even noon yet. Yuck! I'm making it a mission today to drink more water, etc., something I am lousy about.

Feeling scattered the last couple days, lots of stress. I have misplaced my keys and that about had me in tears yesterday. Finally had to take a break from it. I'm going to try again today. They have to be here somewhere.

[MiamiButch]

Good morning, good peoples. It's hot and humid, to say the least, and it's not even noon yet. Yuck! I'm making it a mission today to drink more water, etc., something I am lousy about.

Feeling scattered the last couple days, lots of stress. I have misplaced my keys and that about had me in tears yesterday. Finally had to take a break from it. I'm going to try again today. They have to be here somewhere.

*Note to self* Buy Shy a key/cellphone locator device AKA Lo-Jack! lol

[Shyfemmekat]

*Note to self* Buy Shy a key/cellphone locator device AKA Lo-Jack! lol

Is there such a thing? Please enter links here: ---------------------------------

[PrimoKnight65]

http://www.amazon.com/EZ-FIND-EFD--1...6287908&sr=1-2

For anybody that may need this..there are other ones on the site that are cheaper...I am thinking of getting one for my cell and keys...damn things have little legs sometimes!

[Shyfemmekat]

http://www.amazon.com/EZ-FIND-EFD--1...6287908&sr=1-2

Thank you!

[ArchAngel Gabriel]

awesome, Primo. I keep my keys on a clip which gets attached to book bag or myself if i have loops. If I don't put them on their hook at home though mine go visiting.... often..... Thankyou for the link

http://www.amazon.com/EZ-FIND-EFD--1...6287908&sr=1-2

For anybody that may need this..there are other ones on the site that are cheaper...I am thinking of getting one for my cell and keys...damn things have little legs sometimes!

[StarFire]

G'morning everyone! Woohoo a key locator. I could use one of those. I made my cell phone easoer to find by putting a neon yellow cover on it!
{{{Shy}}} I hope you feel better and find those keys soon!
{{{Ace}}} Just cuz you been feeling low.
{{{Rhoda}}} just cuz.
Hi Lien!
Hi Gabriel!
Hi PK!
Hi MiamiButch!
Hi to everyone!
Have a fantastic day!

Star

[Shyfemmekat]

Good evening, y'all! Hope everyone is having a great Saturday night. It's hotter then...well, it's mighty hot. The heat index here is close to 100 and I have no air conditioning in Delilah. Went to the post office to get a letter from my sweetie and the short trip seemed like a slow camel trip across the Mojave.

Won't be going out any more tonight!

[Shyfemmekat]

Rhoda, thanks for posting all the info about communication, etc. Love it when y'all post links and so forth. Sharing info is a beautiful thing!

[Shyfemmekat]

awesome, Primo. I keep my keys on a clip which gets attached to book bag or myself if i have loops. If I don't put them on their hook at home though mine go visiting.... often..... Thankyou for the link

I just discovered today that my favorite purse has a little key chain thingie. I have had this purse for like 3 years. At least.

[aceman131963]

G'morning everyone! Woohoo a key locator. I could use one of those. I made my cell phone easoer to find by putting a neon yellow cover on it!
{{{Shy}}} I hope you feel better and find those keys soon!
{{{Ace}}} Just cuz you been feeling low.
{{{Rhoda}}} just cuz.
Hi Lien!
Hi Gabriel!
Hi PK!
Hi MiamiButch!
Hi to everyone!
Have a fantastic day!

Star

Thanks! (((((Star))) So sweet!

[BlueMoonWolf]

Sorry been MIA for the past little bit.

Just wanted to say about the no job thing... I might be being a little dense here but is there something wrong with saying "I am on disability because of X disease"? One of my friend's does this on a regular basis, most don't ask about her impressive list of organizations that she does work, apparently to the naked eye, tirelessly for. Lots of them are pretty fascinating. My garter's are off to her, I couldn't do half of what she does.

Reason for MIA... had to admit that I need a home care aide... it's kind of freaky when you are told that you are an emergency case... I just sat there for a minute going "what emergency? this is my life." So sometime in the coming week I will be meeting with the RN and over the next month s/he observes what I do need help with. At that point is when s/he will bring in the appropriate resources. Apparently weird shit happens when you have a small seizure in public.

Which brings me to the stuff that started this all in the first place... so the short laundry list is seizures have gotten much much worse and they are no where near being controlled. Kidneys have decided to declare all out war... Kinda screws with your day when you feel like you are being beaten with a crowbar at unexpected times that drops you to your knees or pulls you out of a dead sleep just to remind you that it still fucking hurts... which folds nicely into adding stronger and more narcotics... I tell ya whoever gets here first to sell the happy drugs after I am gone is going to be living high on the hog. Last but not least is my body decided to let me feel what happens when something "breaks' I will feel the stab of a vessel bursting and to actually feel the ripping sensation and watching the bruise form. This would be cool to watch if it wasn't my body. Doctor says it's part of the vasculitius but he can't treat for it because of the kidney issue.

so on the good side... I get to have a bubble bath again!!! Had to stop because of the falling issue. I got my pretty new sterling silver medical alert bracelet for freeee... have to love free!! Made my son feel entirely important. He has CP and for some reason no one ever asks his opinion and advice on anything. To me, he's had home care aides from about a year old and up to his present 35 years old. He's dealt with the good ones, the bad ones and the ones that the police should have been involved. Of course I am going to ask for advice from that font of wisdom and experience! So he's having a blast and so proud to be helping Momma get things right.

And for a last happy in my mostly bitching and moaning post. I was having a horrible day because I had to cancel going to my best friend's birthday, 102 fever doesn't make for a good party guest... then my son called just to chat... completely made my day.

so there it all is and Miami..this is why your card hasn't made it to the post yet. Sorry.

[Shyfemmekat]

It's birthday time for our own Ravfem: see birthday thread!

http://www.butch-femme.com/showthrea...rthday-ravfem!

[Shyfemmekat]

Hey BMW!

My garter slinging friend! It is good to hear from you. I wondered what was up. ROFL about watching the bruises form. I am like that with things, too. I do it with my shot bruise. (The last one is turning yellow and is half gone on one side.) I'm excited that you'll get to take a bubble bath again. I know what a big deal that is. Lord knows I can't take a bath if there is no one here. Well, I shouldn't, anyway.

Free is good...I love free. And who can resist free jewelry?

I'll give you a call late today if you're going to be around.

[Rhoda]

Am having to readjust my budget substantially, so will have internet access sporadically at best.

Not sure if my internet phone will forward calls to land line i had to get, it's supposed to.

I will check in as I am able, send pms if you want, when i go to the library or cafe with free wifi, i will check in with everyone.

Don't know how often, I can't call out anymore, so i'm back to basics pre 1980, lol
Wish i could go all the way back to 1973.....feeling nostalgic today for some reason....would love to be sitting on a boulder in the Rockies listening to the wind singing in the aspens right now..... or on the hood of a certain yellow Dodge Charger...

Having more health issues, have tests scheduled next week and through 1st week in July.

Still do not have truck back, it's been almost a month now.

okay, gonna go rest for a while, been a rough day already.....

Warm regards, Rhoda

[Shyfemmekat]

Am having to readjust my budget substantially, so will have internet access sporadically at best.

Not sure if my internet phone will forward calls to land line i had to get, it's supposed to.

I will check in as I am able, send pms if you want, when i go to the library or cafe with free wifi, i will check in with everyone.

Don't know how often, I can't call out anymore, so i'm back to basics pre 1980, lol
Wish i could go all the way back to 1973.....feeling nostalgic today for some reason....would love to be sitting on a boulder in the Rockies listening to the wind singing in the aspens right now..... or on the hood of a certain yellow Dodge Charger...

Having more health issues, have tests scheduled next week and through 1st week in July.

Still do not have truck back, it's been almost a month now.

okay, gonna go rest for a while, been a rough day already.....

Warm regards, Rhoda

Sorry you are having a rough time right now. Check in when you can and let us know how you are doing, okay?

[Shyfemmekat]

Happy Hump Day, y'all!

Hope this morning find everyone in good spirits. I have been really swamped the last few days but I will be getting my PM box gone through, etc. I guess I have more in there at any given time than what I think!

Not feeling so great today. The Rx and prior auth had expired on my Lyrica so now I will have to go through that mess again. I only have a few left so I have been trying to save them back. Had to break down this morning and take one and my Tramadol before I got out of the bed. The fibro is bad today. Should've eaten something first 'cause now I'm sick to my stomach but this cereal should take care of that. I've got some vertigo working and had a little near miss with a fall earlier. Lotta stress and that's probably why I'm feeling icky.

Holla at me, my peoples...what's doin'?