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Thread: Things Your Dominant/Submissive Does To Make You Feel More Dominant/Submissive

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    Cool Things Your Dominant/Submissive Does To Make You Feel More Dominant/Submissive


    I have been roaming around the different forums lately and saw this really interesting thread about what Femmes do to make their Butch partners feel more Butch.

    That made me think of my kinky friends ...

    Dominants ... what do your Submissives do to make you feel more Dominant?

    Submissives ... what do your Dominants do to make you feel more Submissive?

    And ~ what does your partner do to make you feel more Butch or Femme (or more masculine for our FtM/TG/TS brothers)? This question applies to Butch-Femme, Butch-Butch and Femme-Femme r/ships.

    Just some things I am thinking about as I roam *smile*



    Yours in Leather,
    Sir ShadowWolf

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    teeheehhee i WOULD answer first...

    What makes me feel more submissive.. well...

    i dunno if it necessarily makes me feel more submissive as much as it validates the already existing feelings most of the time, but the same things apply to those *rare rare moments* when i get big for my britches or am feeling more neutral than normal.


    a few examples....


    1. forms of address.. baby, babygirl, bitch, slut, tramp, etc.... all invoke those feelings, also anything with the word "my" in front of it.


    2. touching... when i am fondled, groped, slapped pinched and overall treated like a piece of ass .. or a piece of property to randomly fondle at will... it invokes the same feelings of submission or more accurately of posession of belonging to my partner.. as in.. "it belongs to them they can touch it however and whenever they want"

    3. orders... telling me to do something that they can perfectly well do themself but choose to have me do anyway ie: getting a drink or a snack; taking me away from a leisure activity to do something for them reinforces the dynamic and reminds me plesantly of my place and purpose.

    4. preferences.. telling me how they prefer things to be... " the blue towels on the bottom" or... "wear the black skirt" telling me how to dress especially, or expressing a preference in my appearance.. again it is the " i belong to her and i will present myself as i am told to" mental space that is reinforced in this case.

    5. force.. being forceful physically, strong, overpowering even.. mmmmmmmmmmmmm

    there are others but those are a few.....



    as far as reinforcing the feeling of being femme...

    compliments, noticing the care i take in my appearance, touching in gentle ways that are not necessarily sexual but nontheless appreciative of my sensuality, taking my hand or my arm when we are out, opening doors , ordering for me, physically paying the bill in a store or resturant even if i have contributed financially to it. yes much of this is stereotypes but i like them anyway


    belladona
    Last edited by Leathergirlbella; 01-24-2003 at 06:09 PM.

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    Shamed From a submissive point....

    Things that my Dominant does to make me feel more submissive:

    Slipping that collar around my neck..never fails to take me to a special place of submission..also the cuffs. Something about feeling the restraints on me is so reassuring....safe.

    Grabbing my hair is also a wonderful thing to throw me straight into a submissive posture if you will.....along with a good hard face slap...always reminds me of my place...that Hy is in charge...that I am not.

    Being told what to wear, how to act when out, a promise of punishment if I dont comply...a stern look and or words from Hym while we are out...

    Telling my I've been a good girl...really gets me deep into a feeling of submission.. at that point I could /would do anything for Hym.......

    Irish

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    Basic Member Justin's Avatar
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    Thumbs up

    The ways my angel makes me feel more Dominant .....

    1) How I can take her to that sub space with one word or just a glance

    2) When she gets on her knees infront of me with her hands behind her back and looks up at me with that innocent, shy adoring look

    3) Her show of respect by answering my requests with "yes Syr" and "Yes Daddy"

    4) Her willingness to always please me and her trust in me to take care of my baby grrl

    5) How she loves the sting of my hand across her tender a** as she begs for mercy

    6) How she loves me opening her doors and telling her how beautiful she looks and how she always makes it a point to take care of herself and look nice for me.

    These are only a few of many........

    She completes me ....and together we are able to freely go and explore all our fantasies and desires....

    I love you angel.......

    Justin

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    One of the things that make me weak is the look he gives. Then I know, oh lord I have done it now...
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    My submissive Vs my babygurl make me feel differently, but I will tell you both.

    sub makes me feel like SIR when -

    when sub curls around My boots at the end of a good scene.

    when sub kneels proudly beside Me when we are at the leather bar with no order to do so.

    when sub relaxes into My arms after scene and tells Me they are sooo happy.

    when sub trusts Me with their body, mind and soul and allows Me to let them fly.

    when sub opens the availabilty for Me to lay My blades on their skin, and trusts Me to do so with care.

    when sub has obviously made an effore to shine their boots and and launder their clothes/uniform/clean their leather for every meeting/scene/event.

    babygurl makes me feel in my full "Daddyness" when,

    When my babygurl looks up at me with her big green eyes and asks if she can sit on my lap.

    She wears her Dads little Girl T-shirt to the dyke bar or even just down the street, and it is more than obvious that I am Daddy.

    When she falls asleep with her head on my thigh and my hand in her hair.

    When I slap her during sex and she responds with "more Daddy?"

    When she rubs my feet and tells me about my rhino hide.. and then tells me she loves my "Daddybearness"

    When she calls me Daddy in normal places, like the market, or at a bar.

    When she wears her tightest, highest stuff, and trusts that I can protect her from the world

    When I point out another butch to her and she says "he isn't like YOU Daddy"

    *chuckles off to snuggle the babygurl*
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    That look that tells me 'I'm in deep shyt."
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    Anal worship

    My Domme in the past has made me lay across her lap as she spanks my ass...While she does that she calls names etc.Then she will have me on all fours with my head on the pillow as She fondles my pussy and anus with her fingers.

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    Trusting Hym to make final decisions in our life/relationship.

    Kneeling before Hym as I'm tying and buckling Hys black leather boots.

    When I'm laying nude on the bed, on my side and slightly curled, and Hy tells me, "DON'T MOVE", then I hear the sounds of Hym preparing something at my backside.

    When I'm taken completely off guard when Hy looks sternly at me and asks, "Did you just tell me 'no'?".

    When Hy unbuckles Hys leather belt and very quickly pulls it from Hys belt loops.

    When we walk together, Hy holds my hand and walks slightly in front of me, with our shoulders almost touching, mine behind Hys. (This was my request, which was confusing with the butch/femme dynamic manners. A gentlemyn opens the door for a lady and she enters a room first. We compromised that Hy opens the door, I step through and stand to the side as Hy comes through, then leads me from there. I've always been uncomfortable walking into a room first. I feel open and exposed. When Hy leads the way and I'm at Hys side, but slightly behind Hym, I feel completely protected.)

    Those are just some of things that make me feel *more* submissive.

    As for some things that make me feel *more* femme:
    When I catch Hym watching me blow drying my hair or putting on my makeup.

    When I'm lying nude (again, on my side) and Hy looks longingly at the contour of my waist, hip and thigh, runs Hys hand slowly up and down it, then tells me how sexy it is.

    When Hy helps me with my coat and opens doors for me.

    When I do something or wear something that I know Hy likes.

    Always having a beautiful bouquet of roses, each time a different color.

    Being held and cuddled in Hys arms.

    And most importantly, Hys love and appreciation of me.

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    what thoughts this topic brings!

    Things that make me feel more submissive:

    - having my face slapped
    - being told what to wear
    - having to be barefoot, naked, or half naked (around the house with a tank top, heels, and no panties, for example)
    - being used sexually with no warning....
    - on the floor worshipping Her feet while she watches TV, reads, or talks on the phone
    - being objectified in any of a number of ways...used as Her footstool, handled sexually in front of others...
    - Her hands around my throat
    - being called names...slut, bitch, cunt....meat, toy....
    - being used as a servant, to bring drinks, serve food, attend to grooming (bath, etc)...

    i'll admit i tend to really get off on the more blatant forms of humiliation, but i'm cocky and "take-no-prisoners" in my vanilla life, and the contrast just...err...does it for me....not so PC, i know...but it works for me...

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    Basic Member Blonde Bomb's Avatar
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    feeling at my best

    My most submissive.....with just a look, a glance in my direction with icy blue eyes. That is all it takes and I am there.

    All hy has to do is walk in the room and I most concerned with hys comfort, hys needs

    hys prescence alone, a thought even and I am there for hym.

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    Things which make Y/you feel...

    Admitedly I seem to fall somewhat off of center... again *smiling* In my search for the truths of self I have found that while I am primarily a Femme Domme I also very very much enjoy the space of the rare submission. I give myself equaly to the moment...

    Sparking Dominance-

    -knowing the responsibility of their soul laid bare to Me...

    -that moment of the energy shift when a boi/grrl sub turns it over, trusting in Me, that sweet energy, essence of submission...

    -the look in the bois/grrls eyes when they kneel in present proud to be there, in public or private it is always intimate, centering down to the two of us...

    -their beauty of the flight in pain and pleasure gifted from My hands...


    sparking submission-

    -being physical rendered immobile, particularly if it is only through the use of Ones body...

    -tormenting beautiful skillful use of sensation...

    -the Look *smiling*

    -the energy... Some people carry Domme/Daddy with them, it permeates their essence and simply cannot help but be responded to...

    Each time is a choice, letting go into trust...

    I believe in being responsible no matter the pathway chosen.


    "You are responsible for what you have tamed."

    A. StExuprey

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    Smile I immediately feel submissive when...

    ..we are out in public, say, sitting at a table in a restaurant and my Daddy/Dom taps his finger twice to indicate that I am displeasing him. He has never had to explain this gesture to me; I know immediately that it means "shape up girl!"

    ...He grabs my hair and pulls me around to meet his eyes

    ...He slaps me in the face (which I love for reasons I cannot even explain to myself)

    ...He stops me from sitting near him and tells me to kneel instead

    ...He looks deeply into my eyes as if assessing what he might find there

    ...He calls me his pet
    …stripped, I am at my most buoyant: generous in my forgiveness, patient with trivia, capable of believing anything…

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    From my personal past experience, i can share what has made me feel submissive/lilgirl and femme.

    Submissive:

    being in total power exchange of my giving to Hys recieving, and vise versa.

    Hym knowing that i have certain walls and allowing room for me to break threw them without harming me emotionally with an action of command.

    Being cuffed and bound with no way of release, knowing i have to trust ever thought and jesture Hy makes at that point.

    Talked to in a commanding voice..low and straight to the point.

    allowing me to be vulnerable not only infront of Hym, but also for myself, something i would not normally do otherwise.

    Taking control, even when my most inward self wants to resist, not because of being bratty, but because of self.

    Lilgirl:

    When Hy runs a bath for me when i am sore and tired and not feeling well, and Hy washes my back for me.

    Knowing how much i hate to cook, Hy dives right in and cooks one hell of a dinner, allowing me to clean the mess, but not much of one, as Hy cared enough to make sure Hy cooked with care.

    When i see something that atracts my eye, color, toys, fantasy type stories and Hy lets me play and be a lilgirl.

    When Hy tells me how Hy adores Hys lilgirl just the way she is.

    When Hy tells me, * I love you my lilgirl or my babygirl*

    When Hy lets me cuddle under Hys arm to feel that sence of protection when i am feeling lost.

    When Hy just loves to look at me smiling and having such a great time, no matter where we are or what we are doing :-)

    .....maybe this would be a good time to mention, that as much as i see this a reality, and know it to be real...it is something that i lack in life, maybe due to my ownself. Due to recent experiences..i have changed my thoughts and ideas of what these dynamics are and when they occure. (but thats another thread altogether)..lol

    Femme:

    When i go out of my way to be beautiful and i feel on top of the world, Hy takes a moment out to notice and compliment me.

    When Hy allows me to feel small, and precious as a women (being almost 6 foot that's hard to do)..lol

    When Hy shows me that i am sexy, even when i just woke up and calls me sexy, or beautiful.

    When out in public, Hy watches me, when i have to leave the table to go to the restroom and i catch Hym out of the corner of my eye looking at me and adoring me.

    When Hy thrives on handing me a special gift as a woman, and knows that it will bring a smile upon my face and make me feel lovely.



    sunny-dayze..pondering on this thread...not sure it was meant to be pondered, but it is where it has left me.
    ~"But as I look back at my life, it is easy to see that the times when my wisdom and understanding grew to new levels; those times when I approached becoming the person I long to be; it was always the times that followed negative circumstances." -- Vic Johnson~

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    Lightbulb

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    .. .. Did I read that correctly??

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    Have read this thread with interest .............. I am submissive sexually, but would not be submissive 23 hours a day (wouldn't want to be dominant either)........... for me, therefore, physical illustrations of dominated / being submissive simply come from who takes control at the foreplay stage ............... and it is never me

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    yes all these things...validates me to know on my new journey of understanding my old self i am part of a norm somewhere

  18. #18
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    I have been deliberating wether to post My opinion on here for quite sometime..... I see the words and somehow My mind can not grasp them..

    So I will just type what I feel...


    I can not make My submissive feel what they are.... If they are submissive then that is what they are, nothing I say or not say is going to not make them "feel" that way.. Just the same as no one can say anything to validate what I am....

    It just is....

    The above statements clearly show how the dominant does an action... That actions "wakens" what is already there even more... So when the Owner does give a certain look, or yanks on that leash a certain way, the "knowing" becomes even more clear...


    The top and the bottom feed of eachothers energy, the Master and servant dance, and give eachother what the other needs, it is a balance.. Nothing said makes them or validates what they are, it just is... The actions only feed the hunger for both...

    Hope that makes sense....



    ev·o·lu·tion Pronunciation Key (v-lshn, v-) n. A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form. Ladies and Gents welcome to MY evolution

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    Couldn't have said it any better......nods to Ms Snow....
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    i have enjoyed the comments here...i tend to agree Lady Snow...

    i don't know that a "validation" of Oones inner calling can take place..but i definitely agree with the feeding of Oone's appetite...craving...

    i don't know that Anyone could make me feel more submissive as my submission is an inner variable to who i am...my nature...just as Nooone can make me feel less submissive...

    my craving for submission can be fed...but it would be more my craving to serve that is fed or nurtured...

    i love the anology of the "Dance" is it so very much a Dance...an entertwined series of movements mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually......yet not Eeach making exactly the same movements...but rather movements in sync to the same beat...

    i do believe however...from both perspectives...A Dominant or a submissive...can "summon" different levels of intensity of those traits in Aanother...depending on Ttheir technique and personality...along with many other things including Ttheir level of ability to communicate on different levels in "different" ways...

    *offers Lady Snowy....a snack..grins

    What is worth most is often valued least
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    hmmmmmmmm more femme...grins...naaaaa i promised to try to not post something sexual on every thread...smirks

    *Winks at SSW....whispers..oh but .....

    What is worth most is often valued least
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    is that what you are giving up for lent???



    ev·o·lu·tion Pronunciation Key (v-lshn, v-) n. A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form. Ladies and Gents welcome to MY evolution

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    i'd never make it...

    oops...doesn't venture too far off topic...

    damn this thread has me doing all this major thinking now..lol...seriously...

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    Talking Belladona

    This is a GREAT thread.
    Belladona, I can totally relate to your post....
    I'm at work right now, and don't have time to add my 2 cents.
    However, I wanted to join this thread.

    Thanks-

    -edgeplayer

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    Basic Member hunger's Avatar
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    i love when my partner validates me in that she is proud of my gift to her...the way my partner looks at me validates how i feel inside and that i can freely gift her with my submission.

    This helps me feel "more" submissive in that she knows how to get me turned on in my submission

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    for Me...I think the main thing that makes Me feel more Dominant is that "lilgrrl Deer in the Headlight" Look a submissive gets when she knows she's in trouble.....LOL.....

    I also like it when she calls Me Syr or Daddy...without having to be told...



    as for a lil girl makin Me feel more Butch....

    I like it when she smiles because I open a door for her

    when she gets a lil closer to Me when I put My hand on her back and guide her to where I want her to go...

    and when she is talkin to someone....and refers to Me as Her Butch....

    **hell, I could go on and on.... but I'll just leave those few things on here for now...**

    *GRINS...and walks back outta this thread *


    Cowboi
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    My favorite........... "The" look........

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    *chuckles*

    The Look is one of My favorite things to use..... its very effective...

    There is also a touch I like to use... its usually a handful of her hair thats firmly in My hand.....


    *GRINS*
    **The Original Cowboi**


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    hmmm

    First off...
    i think there are things a Domme can do to make a submissive feel more submissive and vice versa.

    i know that certain ways things are said can drop me a notch and put me in a more submissive role. i know that certain things i say and do put my Domme in a more Dominant position.
    to me it is a feeding off of one another ~ an energy.
    i am naturally submissive in relationships but am one hell of a Domme in the world. Someone who does not hold my heart, can not and will not put me in that position. It is a traded energy, a shared energy, and not something i just am ~ all the time. i love being the boss at work and raaaaaarrrrrrrr at being the submissive privately. i do not give it freely to just anyone and KNOW that i give it freely to One.
    Some things that make me more submissive may be... (oyy i'm doin' a list)

    1. Call me a good girl - something so simple can make me smile and turn a frown into a beaming "lil girl".
    2. Direct me - i spend all day directing at work. Nothing makes me smile more than given direction by my partner.
    3. Protect me - i protect my workers, i protect my children, and i protect my partner... falling into protective arms puts me in my space ~ just enough.

    a short list... but a list none the less...
    my .o2
    ~~~ Ana~~~

  30. #30
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    1. Call me a good girl - something so simple can make me smile and turn a frown into a beaming "lil girl".
    *nods*

    Agreed.

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    awww

    (((((((((((salilus)))))))))

    we are good right?

    and added.... about damn time
    ~~~ Ana~~~

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    Havy is a good girl

    and yes anabanan, you are a good girl too, I guess.

  33. #33
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    BL!!

    You guess????

    pouts
    ~~~ Ana~~~

  34. #34
    Basic Member beemerboi's Avatar
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    hhmmmmmm good topic here. well i know in my heart and my soul just being able to give my gift of submission to a Dominant makes me feel more submissive to be able to show the love and care for Hym/Her my submission is in my heart and soul and to be able to serve a Dominant makes me fell more submissive.

  35. #35
    Basic Member besubversive's Avatar
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    Things that can make me feel more submissive:

    The sound of Daddy's belt being unbuckled/pulled through the loops.

    A fist wrapped in my hair.

    Being immobilized somehow (bindings or Daddy holding me down).

    Slaps across my face.

    Being forced down to lick Daddy's boots.


    .... that's all I can think of for now... xoxo
    "Sex and creativity are often seen by dictators as subversive activities." - Erica Jong

  36. #36
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    Question Hmm....

    Beats me.................

    Disclaimer: No disrespect intended

    Ms. Kelly

  37. #37
    *Sweet Corruption* The_Lady_Snow's Avatar
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    Re: Hmm....

    Originally posted by KissMePlease
    Beats me.................

    Disclaimer: No disrespect intended

    Ms. Kelly
    Ms Kelly I found Myself chuckling at the reply.. One because I have the visual of the beating...



    ev·o·lu·tion Pronunciation Key (v-lshn, v-) n. A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form. Ladies and Gents welcome to MY evolution

  38. #38
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    i must agree with the Lady Snow.... the submissive is within and has always been there... the actions, words of the dominant merely serve as a vehicle for pulling out that submissive hidden within..

    i thought about this topic quite a bit... and then i thought of an action which when used by my dominant will succeed in sliding me into my submissive self... grabbing a fistful of hair... and then i thought about what would happen if a person other than my dominant did that... and i was pretty sure that that person would recieve a mouthful of my fist.

    so, i suspect that there is a connection that needs to be made in addition to the action that seduces the submissive to rise to the surfice "awaken" if you wish...
    foxx - Owned by Mistress Christine

  39. #39
    *Sweet Corruption* The_Lady_Snow's Avatar
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    Originally posted by stonefoxx
    i must agree with the Lady Snow.... the submissive is within and has always been there... the actions, words of the dominant merely serve as a vehicle for pulling out that submissive hidden within..

    i thought about this topic quite a bit... and then i thought of an action which when used by my dominant will succeed in sliding me into my submissive self... grabbing a fistful of hair... and then i thought about what would happen if a person other than my dominant did that... and i was pretty sure that that person would recieve a mouthful of my fist.

    so, i suspect that there is a connection that needs to be made in addition to the action that seduces the submissive to rise to the surfice "awaken" if you wish...

    *applauds foxx*

    and makes note to not go around grabbing hys hair



    ev·o·lu·tion Pronunciation Key (v-lshn, v-) n. A gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form. Ladies and Gents welcome to MY evolution

  40. #40
    Basic Member FemNLeatherNLace's Avatar
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    Originally posted by stonefoxx
    i must agree with the Lady Snow.... the submissive is within and has always been there... the actions, words of the dominant merely serve as a vehicle for pulling out that submissive hidden within..

    i thought about this topic quite a bit... and then i thought of an action which when used by my dominant will succeed in sliding me into my submissive self... grabbing a fistful of hair... and then i thought about what would happen if a person other than my dominant did that... and i was pretty sure that that person would recieve a mouthful of my fist.

    so, i suspect that there is a connection that needs to be made in addition to the action that seduces the submissive to rise to the surfice "awaken" if you wish...
    Applauds too..!!

    Very good point stonefoxx..indeed...i have to agree...with the variable of a needed connection...

    It is my theory that Ppeople interact at different levels just as different Ppeople have different needs...

    Trailing your words...i also thought on it and realized not all Dominants that i have had contact with can summon the submissive in me beyond protocol. So there would be unique Dominant traits that would fit an individual submissive's specific needs or desires....goes off to ponder what those traits might be for me....

    What is worth most is often valued least
    Aesop, Aesop's Fables II

    dontchafucKinhatethat

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