Friend of Bill W.

[tomboystud]

Hey everyone,
Tom is my clean date, another year and another time for reflection. I really can't believe it has been 7 years. As far as I have come I do feel that sometimes I take one step forward and two steps back though. I am sure we all feel that way at some point. I just hope everyone has a great day. Talk to you tom at some point.
~Aiden

[thinkpink]

Hey everyone,
Tom is my clean date, another year and another time for reflection. I really can't believe it has been 7 years. As far as I have come I do feel that sometimes I take one step forward and two steps back though. I am sure we all feel that way at some point. I just hope everyone has a great day. Talk to you tom at some point.
~Aiden

Congratulations, tomboy! I know about the whole struggle with growth. Progress not perfection, right? Listening lately to some people really new to sobriety has helped me remember how different my struggles these days are from then though.

You really have come a long way in 7 years, I know without even knowing you. That is something to celebrate! And on the 4th of July at that! Congrats.

[tomboystud]

Congratulations, tomboy! I know about the whole struggle with growth. Progress not perfection, right? Listening lately to some people really new to sobriety has helped me remember how different my struggles these days are from then though.

You really have come a long way in 7 years, I know without even knowing you. That is something to celebrate! And on the 4th of July at that! Congrats.

Thank you very much!!!! I have definately had some bumps and bruises along the way but I have also been very victorious in other ways.
~Aiden

[SirWalterHere]

Hey everyone,
Tom is my clean date, another year and another time for reflection. I really can't believe it has been 7 years. As far as I have come I do feel that sometimes I take one step forward and two steps back though. I am sure we all feel that way at some point. I just hope everyone has a great day. Talk to you tom at some point.
~Aiden

congrats!!!! you are an example that it works...

[tomboystud]

congrats!!!! you are an example that it works...

Well I don't know if you want to follow my example this past year. But today is a new day.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 4

RENTING JOY


I cannot buy happiness. No matter how much money I spend, how hard I work, I can never pay bliss off on lay away. The angles of escape for glee are phenomenal. I see runaway emotions and must concede ownership. When opportunities arise for satisfaction I pay the fare and take the trip. The boat isn’t mine to keep but the tour is forever in my heart. I can’t take it home to bury it in the yard. Like a wild thing I can leave joy where I find it. I never need to cage or bind it. I need to enjoy each measure while the music plays. I remunerate for time in proximity; delight arrives and stays as long as it likes. I linger at the table and enjoy my dessert. Leasing elation is an occasion of celebration. Living moment to moment has given me this chance. So, I take it.


Copy your favorite shape.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 5

UTILITY OF EMOTION



I plug into the utility of my emotions. These utilities aid my life as all utilities do. The duel prong of anger serves to light me up and gives me strength to set good boundaries. The four-line clip cord of pain allows me to keep in touch with my Higher Power, my friends, and my fellows. I have nothing to share if I can’t stay real about my pain. Fear is hard to contain and is carefully piped. Explosions of fear can start so easily it’s a good thing its foul odor can be smelled in the air. The coaxial cable of joy screws neatly into the back of my mind and gives me endless delight, color and sound; these are the privileges of sobriety. Emotions are plainly utilitarian but they help me survive and make living into a life.


Touch all the letters in your name.


Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 6

OPTICAL ILLUSION


From the right angle a hatpin can appear taller than the Empire State Building. I can skew my perspective to such an extreme or let my disease do it for me. I can believe myself to be other than I am: the sweetest, kindest------smartest, quickest------smallest, slowest-------lowest, meanest. I can see myself as all this and more as long as I squint with one eye and look at only half of any issue. I can play the parts and act as if these things are true. I can even get others to play along. I can make fantasy fact if I lower the floor. I can die in the basement, many do. I can turn my face from science and be the center of all that spins..…OR….. I can climb the stairs to ground level. I can turn my mind to facts and fractions. Leave my better-than, less-than universe and see the height of everything and stand tall with both my eyes open.


Put a surprise in your pocket.

Sherrie

[MountainGirl]

Happy 8th Birthday Fireheart

You are amazing.
I know I'm a day late, but I wanted/needed to say Happy Birthday honey.
One day at a time, you keep teaching me new things.
Thank you for that.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 7

COLD AND FLU SEASON



The spiritual cold and flu season is upon me. I am awash in reaction and confusion. I have been overexposed to the dry thinking and barking orders of the cough so associated with this disability. My eyes swell and blur with my refusal to accept reality. The tickle of discomfort from inhaling disagreeable ideas is small in comparison with the nausea I suffer when I swallow every line of nonsense put forth from my dizzy and congested mind. There is no pill to dissuade my symptoms; I must raise the heat on this inertiac little bug. Parasites breed in the stagnant water of my paralysis. If I move in my sobriety, sweat a little and flush my system, I should be able to shake this insidious germ. Then I can reach my hand out to the people who caught the spiritual flu from me.


Write pretty words on pretty paper.

Sherrie

[Ultimatedyke]

Sherrie,
How I needed to read this one again and again. I had read it this morning with my daily readings to start my day, love your book by the way!
I have been dealing with a lot of fear lately. New relationship, first one since being sober and everything about it scares me. My old self would love to take someone hostage, the new sober me tries to think situations through. I am so grateful to be where I am today, but a year and a few months being sober kicks my butt everyday and reminds me how new I am to all of this.
Thanks again for your daily reminders of life for me.

July 5

UTILITY OF EMOTION



I plug into the utility of my emotions. These utilities aid my life as all utilities do. The duel prong of anger serves to light me up and gives me strength to set good boundaries. The four-line clip cord of pain allows me to keep in touch with my Higher Power, my friends, and my fellows. I have nothing to share if I can’t stay real about my pain. Fear is hard to contain and is carefully piped. Explosions of fear can start so easily it’s a good thing its foul odor can be smelled in the air. The coaxial cable of joy screws neatly into the back of my mind and gives me endless delight, color and sound; these are the privileges of sobriety. Emotions are plainly utilitarian but they help me survive and make living into a life.


Touch all the letters in your name.


Sherrie

[thinkpink]

Sherrie,
How I needed to read this one again and again. I had read it this morning with my daily readings to start my day, love your book by the way!
I have been dealing with a lot of fear lately. New relationship, first one since being sober and everything about it scares me. My old self would love to take someone hostage, the new sober me tries to think situations through. I am so grateful to be where I am today, but a year and a few months being sober kicks my butt everyday and reminds me how new I am to all of this.
Thanks again for your daily reminders of life for me.

Long term sobriety or early sobriety...relationships are challenging. Experiencing it myself today. No need to drink, but definitely a reminder to pick up some program tools to just deal with a challenging day. Glad everyone is here and sober today. Glad to just say hi here on this thread. Peace

[o222Good]

Hey everyone,
Tom is my clean date, another year and another time for reflection. I really can't believe it has been 7 years.

Congratulations on seven years!



The present is the gift of sobriety!

[LeftWriteFemme]

PASTRY




Like French pastry, sobriety gets richer with each layer. As I investigate these layers I approach the buttery center. The fat seeps through the years, makes boundaries crisp and intimacy velvety. Ingredients, which ordinarily wouldn’t mix, somehow blend and counterpoint one another in a flaky shell. Fruit and nuts improve every bite. Though there are times which are a bit crumbly, most of the structure is strong and the invention skillful. Pastry and sobriety are compositions of strength and brilliance, which are meant to be taken internally.


Juggle solutions.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 9

SHIMMER


The water ruffles over metallic sheen, lap after lap screen the view, and still the gilt reflection shines in my eyes. Hypnotic, the undulence pulls me near. I stand on the edge, gaze, then gawk; I follow the underwater movements and iridescent tremolo. I forget place and time. I lose sight of the facts. Gold isn’t the only thing that shimmers. Sometimes that glint is just a fish. Life is full of fins and fantasy. My sponsor suggests I stop looking for my life in a wishing well.


Think of all beans as magical in someway.

Sherrie

[FireHeart]

Happy 8th Birthday Fireheart

You are amazing.
I know I'm a day late, but I wanted/needed to say Happy Birthday honey.
One day at a time, you keep teaching me new things.
Thank you for that.

Ummm yeah .. I'm a couple days late in saying THANKS!
Yep 8 years one-day-at-a-timing it.

[SirWalterHere]

Well I don't know if you want to follow my example this past year. But today is a new day.

and it still worked...even when you werent....

[LeftWriteFemme]

REGENERATION



When I am grabbed by the extremity of my thinking I drop my mind like a reptilian tail. My feet believe they are in no need of my brain in order to run; independent flight is the action of the day. Far from the time and place of my dissection I find regrowth the problem to be solved. Unlike a salamander’s toe, can I generate my wits to their former ability or must I live out my existence with a docked psyche? My desire curls like a python but dreams of becoming the phoenix.


Smile at your orange wedges.


Sherrie

[pilgrimpoet]

REGENERATION



When I am grabbed by the extremity of my thinking I drop my mind like a reptilian tail. My feet believe they are in no need of my brain in order to run; independent flight is the action of the day. Far from the time and place of my dissection I find regrowth the problem to be solved. Unlike a salamander’s toe, can I generate my wits to their former ability or must I live out my existence with a docked psyche? My desire curls like a python but dreams of becoming the phoenix.


Smile at your orange wedges.


Sherrie

So well written!
Big hugs,
Me

[thinkpink]

and it still worked...even when you werent....

Amazing isn't it? A little honesty in life about what we can and can't do...and we get to grow. A pretty good deal.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 11

SPONTANEOUS GENERATION

Dust under the bed turns into bugs. My grandfather believed in these alchemies of myth. I thought myself free from the small witchcrafts of threat. The longer I stay sober, the more real is the insidious nature of my disease. Mental clutter does breed all manner of squirming and chattering vermin. Every intellectual closet I leave uncleaned is a brooding box of contempt, false pride and bloated ego. The synchronism of hatchling defects and nursing grudges, fairy tale thinking and firebrand action, mimic Grandpa’s bedbug rantings. I can never turn my back on unswept philosophy or the dross of assumptions I’ve left waiting in piles. Spiritual house cleaning is all that saves me from the transmigration of blood sucking, life-draining phantasm. Supernatural transformation needn’t plague me if I take right action. The difference between blessings and curses is the direction you are going.


Tiptoe into your heart for a peek.


Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 12

NOUN, VERB, ADJECTIVE


Model Sobriety (mod`el so-bri`i te), n., v., adj., 1. model sobriety acts like clay. Durable and flexible it molds to any situation. 2. model sobriety is like a clotheshorse; everything you put on it fits and looks good. 3. model sobriety is the 24-hour version of a life-long process. 4. model sobriety is a set of axioms with which we interpret truth. 5. model sobriety is what we put in the window for other sufferers to see. 6. model sobriety is the mirror we use to learn what is natural. 7. model sobriety eliminates extremes in behavior and thinking. 8. model sobriety is the mode by which we become a channel. 9. model sobriety is the definition in and of my life. Noun, verb, and adjective.


Write an acrostic poem for a dog.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 13

DISTILLATION


I came into these rooms with a mixed mental make-up and a polluted physical chemistry. I have been transformed but only into tiny droplets. The drops are not dramatic but the process is. Distillation of my thinking is a powerful thing. A volatile act of concentration takes place as my brain boils over and the sane is separated from the profane. Purity is a spiritual gift, the result of vaporizing my old thoughts. Many times the night distills the dew and I am quickly refreshed; other times I must cook for quite a while.


Exact a toll for crossed boundaries.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

Ultimate,

Good to see you reaching out, I am glad you are picking up tools instead of picking up! Each time I read the the big book or other writings about alcoholics I am reminded that the two big things we struggle with [just like earth people do......] are sex and money, I try to be extra connected when having to make decisions concerning either of these things no one and nothing comes before my sobriety, it's the only way I've found of keeping it.

Pilgrim,

Thank you always for your support and encouragement. I miss you terribly, I will be back in town next week, do you think we might find time to get together?

Congrats, Fireheart!!!!!! What an exciting place in sobriety, enjoy it my friend!

Tomboy, too, happy anniversary!

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 14

KEY


I asked for the key to my problems. My expectation was a metal instrument with which to unbolt the lock to my desires. What I was given was a systematic explanation of the symbols on the plan of my life. This has been a wonderful gift and I have benefited greatly, but first I had to stop brooding about the loss of my wished for trinket. Putting names on my map helps me stay off cliffs and out of rivers. The code is broken; I can decipher direction and intent. The compositions of life’s offerings fit and harmonize in unimagined ways and create archways strong and unbending, giving me access to reefs of beauty and rest. I asked for the means to open a door but gained entry to the world.


Don’t lug excess baggage, ship it.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 15

THE RAINBOW


“What is with that look of concentration?” asked my sponsor.
“I am trying to see the gray.”
“The gray?” she queried.
“Yes, I heard at the meeting that between black and white there is a lot of gray.”
“Ah. Well, my darling, I don’t want you to have black and white thinking, but what lies between black and white are all the colors, the full spectrum.”
“What am I to do with this information? What do I do with all those colors?” I asked in shock and confusion.
“For right now, just remember that all the colors aren’t blue.”


Set out your clothes and plan their day.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 16

MAGIC WAND

“Why are you wearing that hat and waving that star studded stick?" I asked my sponsor.
“Isn’t this what you want, a magic wand?” she replied.
“What ever are you talking about? I don’t want you to play wizard.”
“Don’t you? You thought walking into your first meeting would------poof-----make you all better. When that didn’t work, you held your breath for 90 days. When that also proved a disappointment, you let the air out of your blue face and started the white-knuckle routine for one year. At the end of twelve months, you released your arthritic grip and started scheming for a new sponsor. But the new wicked witch sent you scurrying back to me. Then, it was a relationship with undying love that would break the spell you are under. Now tell me again how you don’t want me to use this magic wand on you?” said my sponsor with aplomb.
“I guess my behavior gave me away. Go ahead, say your incantation.” I closed my eyes and waited for her words.
“Show up and do the work. Keep an open mind,” she said as she waved the cudgel.
“That’s it?" I asked.
“Well, yes, but I have to come back everyday,” she grinned.


Set the table for breakfast just before your midnight snack.


Sherrie

[thinkpink]

"“Show up and do the work. Keep an open mind,” she said as she waved the cudgel."

Yep, that about sums it up.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Doesn't it just................

Simple but not easy................

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 17

TIME TABLES


I know the train is coming and I want to read the schedule. I hear rumors that the convoy going to Feelings will arrive in two years. The five-year expedition to Getting My Brains Back seems unlikely but is often commented on in meetings. Excursions to far off destinations such as Functional and Reasonable have me on my feet in gleeful anticipation. Still I wish for a clear mapping of time. I feel I could leave off worrying about the how of it if only I could be sure of the when. This cavalcade of adventure would be so much more palatable with a well written itinerary.


Sell yourself but not short.

Sherrie


.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 18

FAR OFF PLACES




Meetings too near home are unsatisfying to me. On smooth, simple days local meetings are fine; I catch a meeting, just slip it in. On rough days I yearn for an out of town meeting. After these many 24’s I’ve come to realize I need the ride as much as I need the meeting. Like a discontented baby I need more than just a trip around the block. The comfort of taking flight in my car is equaled by arriving at some far off AA. Fresh faces and new-takes-on-old-woes are an antidote to my colicky attitude. The drive back offers me a sense of triumphant homecoming. A good meeting can be had anywhere. Sometimes I just need a change of place or change of pace.


Keep a lock of your own hair.

Sherrie

[thinkpink]

F.E.A.R. ------ False Events Appearing Real. Just needing to remember that saying today as my brain has been overactive.

Also, today I met a guy in a meeting who went back out after 18 years. He was out for 4 years and thankfully made it back to now have 30 days. My 18th year sobriety date comes up on October 1st....guess I chose the right "newcomer" to go talk to today. We are never cured.

Trudging the road to happy destiny today. Thanks for your posts LeftWrite.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 19

THE WATER YOU DRINK


“Anyone who has to be dragged to water doesn’t deserve a drink,” said my sponsor.
“What about raising the bottom?” I questioned.
“I’m not talking about that. I am discussing people you try to convince into recovery. The folks you try to accommodate. The ones you attempt to bend reality for. These are the type who will piss in your well. Let me be clear, I am not concerned with the individuals who piss in the pool, which is rude and disgusting but basically not life threatening. When your well is defiled, when the place you draw your drinking water from is used as a chamber pot, your life is at risk. Don’t ever pull your pants down over someone’s fresh water. Don’t let anyone squat with their bare ass over your sobriety.”


Play in your play clothes.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

Pink,

You are more than welcome, it is my pleasure. Thank you for sharing, when I first got sober there was a guy coming back after having had 17 years, he got my attention in a big way. A couple of years ago we celibrated 17 years together, his second time, my first. In a few weeks we will have 20 years, it sure flew by.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 20

IT’S MY PARTY



The party I was throwing for myself in addiction was nothing but a very long wake. There were no smiles, only murmurs of what might have been. I was filled with tears I couldn’t cry and mourned my death as I caused it. When I took off my little black dress and stepped from this shroud, I closed the bar, clicked the switch and the dirge stopped, the funeral ended prematurely. I walked into AA where I learned to be the life of the party.


Make a safe space for your radical tastes.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 21

SYMPTOMATIC BOUQUET


My bouquet of symptoms took root in alcoholism. I displayed these blossoms to few. I thought I could keep these problem posies to myself. No need to worry, everyone has a bit of manure in their lives; mine will hardly seem strange. Planted in addiction, things grew in a dramatic way. Pruning became unworkable; drastic measures were required. Uprooted and exposed, these virulent stalks created the need for help from better gardeners than I. Thinned and repotted, these character traits have fruited with many a lovely harvest, none of which could have happened had I been left in the family plot.


Make your mind a womb you can return to.


Sherrie



.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 22

HOLD THE LINE



Relax is not the same as give up. Unwind is not fray. Let go doesn’t mean never grab hold. It is important to have moderation in all things including moderation. Exuberance and enthusiasm are wonderful in their season; too much and I could get an adrenaline addiction. Make sure your song has more than one note and make sure that you sing more than one song in your life. Change, interest and excitement are vital to my existence. Like my sponsor says, “if you take all the spikes and ridges out of your life-line, it means your dead.”


Give allowance to yourself.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 23

QUICK------SAND!!!


“Don’t ask me how deep the quicksand is,” said my sponsor, “it’s your job to get out of it, not to quantify it.”
“I’m not sure how to get out. Will you come and get me?” I ask her.
“No, Darling. If I get in we will both be down for the count. The only chance we have for me to help you is if I stay out of the morass with my feet planted firmly on solid ground.”
“What if you can’t get me out?” I cry.
“I will go get more help.”
“What if all of AA can’t get me out?”
“Angel, my hope is, that if there was no way out, you wouldn’t even know you were stuck.”


Limit your limits.

Sherrie

[thinkpink]

Hello to anyone stopping in today. Another 24 begins...with a "please" at the beginning of the day and a "thank you" at the end.

[LeftWriteFemme]

July 24

WAKE


Don’t worry that you might spoil the procession by getting out of your coffin. You don’t need to lie there waiting for the lid to close. People will walk past saying, “so sad,” and “too bad,” but don’t lie in state to keep them from feeling their trip was a waste. Just because the crypt has been purchased doesn’t mean you are ready to go. There are still opportunities to dance. Don’t die for love, glory or pride. Don’t die before your time. Death is only an honor if you lived every preceding second.


Learn to use your appliances well.


Sherrie