Does the Happy Happy Joy Joy dance from Ren and Stimpy
Hey I apologize if my font has been too small ... someone just brought it to my attention .... because of my disability I have my font set at l arge on my computer and I didn't realize how small the print may be for others because it is so big for me ...
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Channeling Super Woo
I'm at work still but decided to sneak on here....(that's the bad part) Interesting day today - it's a long story but I won't bore you with the details - I am being sought after by two managers in the company I work for. The one I have been working for is great - I love working with him - he is very impressed with my work - the VP and other folks and managers love me as well - anyway, today I found out that the other manager got me and I am transferring over there on Monday. I am really disappointed because I wanted to stay where I am. But, I am looking at it as a good thing and already went to the new manager and introduced myself with a positive attitude. My old manager is very upset and said on his way to lunch - 'well, I sure as heck feel like having a 3 martini lunch'..he didn't of course, but it was the fact that he said it - then it dawned on me...I was bummed out about something - I didn't get what I wanted and for the first time in a VERY long time I accepted my disappointment and didn't want to drink over it. Wow...that's a new concept for me...
okay, I better get back to work.
David - who doesn't feel like clubbing this weekend either - wow - two weekends in a row not clubbing..who knew
Originally Posted by Dat_NYC-Guy
That is wonderful, David!!
You have every right to be incredibly proud!!
Mela
Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
'I will try again tomorrow.'
Proud Member of GPS
If I'm not in bed by 7:30,
I'm with the wrong person
Right on Brother!!! Isn't that a cool realization. When your knee jerk reaction to life is no longer to drink.
I am an addict.
Hard say even harder to write and see the word stare back to me on this page.
Today I went to my third meeting. Still quiet, still listening, still confused, still angry.
So much anger, so much confusion as to why are all these feelings surfacing now.
I have not actively done substances in awhile. Don’t know the date because at that time it was not important. Didn’t know and still trying to figure out what this word sobriety means.
You see I thought quitting was all I had to do. Throw out the southern bourbon, which by the way I was convinced helped with my southern charm. Toss out the boxes of blunts, toss out the cigar box full of weed, go the medicine cabinet and remove all the legal drugs I had accumulated through the years. But wait these were not bought on the street, someone in a white coat told me to take these and I would feel better. I would take them, and take more. So to me by tossing out all this crap, I was done. I was cured. Pretty simple. I did that in less than 2 months. It was okay to have a drink here and there. Okay to take a toke, okay to pop a pill to get a buzz. I was not drunk, not stone, not zapped out of my mind. I had this licked.
Didn’t need to go to a group and read 12 verses of some words that did not pertain to me.
I was never in trouble with the law, have held down a white collar job, paid my bills, paid my taxes. I could not be an addict. I only do this stuff in binges. I could never be that word addict. Not me, I am way too charming to be an addict.
I was not an addict. Can you hear me loud and clear? I was not an addict.
Who in the hell was I trying to convinced?
Funny how one little thing can change my view.
Was told by someone last week, get your happy little ass into a meeting.
How dare she tell me that. I don't need a meeting.
I don't do drugs now, I don't drink, I don't binge eat anymore. I am not addicted to anything.
Why would I waste my time going to a meeting?
.........................................
I am an addict. I admit that I am powerless, I need a 12 step program, I want the 12 step program. I am fighting the 12 step program. I can't give up my power. I am always in control. If I lose control and admit my fear who will be there to help me?
Today I was in a group, listening, confused, and trying so hard to understand. Wanting to be healthy right away. Wanting the quick fix.
I am the master of quick fixes. I am the master of taking care of the problem so that no one else will.
I quick fixed myself right into an addict’s world.
But today, as I left that meeting, shaking, confused and crying. I felt my addiction. For the first time I felt the addiction. I drove first to the American Boys Club. Just one pint of bourbon. Went in bought my all time fav. Southern Comfort. Grab some ice, drive to a nice spot and just sip.
I looked at the bottle for over two hours. Never opened it. But started taking a fucking inventory of what was going to happen if I drink. Healthwise this one bottle could kill me.
Was that what I wanted? No I want to live.
The bottle got tossed. I could not even take the chance of opening it and allowing any touch my skin. Toss it like a bomb, get out of the war zone into safe surroundings.
I opened that book again.
Those words jumped out at me....I AM POWERLESS.
I felt what it means to be powerless.
I felt I had just left the one place I needed to be.
My mind drifted to what happens tomorrow. My mind drifted to what happens when I am alone, and this crap creeps back up?
Do I find the southern charming oil again? Will I introduce myself to the cigar box again?
Do I fill that script that I have purposely left on my dresser from the doctor for the last few days?
Do I take this one day at a time and just keep coming back because it works?
Tonight I read the first step three times. Just kept reading and reading. Wanting it to soak into my soul the way the southern oil would soak in. Wanting to replace the taste of bourbon with the taste of the first step.
I am powerless.
Today I found myself on my knees asking my higher power to help me with my recovery.
I can do this, I have to believe that this will work.
I have accepted that I am an addict, I need to work this program, and I need to gain my life totally.
All I can say at the moment is that I am an addict and I need help, and I am searching.
I have never been so confused, and so alone in my entire life. But even through all these feelings of fear, why is the thought of the power of that meeting creeping into my soul.
Why did it feel good to be there? Why was it that I was comfortable, yet so afraid.
What made me for the third time, not get up and get my white chip?
What is keeping me from totally admitting my addiction?
If I fail this time, I might as well take the 38 and open my mouth and pull the trigger.
I want to live and I want to live a good life, a life of true happiness. Nothing has given me happiness. Not the surgery, not the drugs, not beautiful women, nothing has given me happiness.
I need this sober life. I need these 12 steps.
I need to stop fighting and admit ....
I am an addict and I am powerless
A great many women can feel and behave like men. Very few of them can behave like gentlemen.
Wow, Ultimatedyke...
I think you just told the story of the day I came to the program
with little changes here and there..
Welcome to our rather f*cked up, but very loving and supportive club.
We are glad you are here, keep coming back.
And thank you for reminding me why I am here.
Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
'I will try again tomorrow.'
Proud Member of GPS
I'm with the wrong person
The real power my friend is in surrender
Thanks so much for sharing, took me back in time.
.Think About What Your Thinking About
Wow, thanks for sharing and being so honest with what you are feeling. I know how that feels - please don't pull the trigger though - I thought that was an option too - for me turning the pages of the BB, working the steps and talking to my sponser was and is my trigger for living. Keep coming back - you're right where you need to be and welcome.
David
UD I am so glad you are here and shared your story with us. You are going through a scary and lonely time and all of us have been there and you can draw on us and our experiences to help you.
When I quit drinking I felt like I had lost my best friend. Beer and I hung out together, it showed me some good times, was always there for me, comforted me after a bad day, helped me celebrate a good one etc. If I had drank one more night it more than likely would have been my last, I was ready to blow my head off. I spent the first month home alone. Everything reminded me of what I couldn't have anymore. I went to work, came home and played Xbox, slept and went back to work. Going to AA gave me strength and hope to find a new way to live. You will too. When you hear people say it gets better and life will get better, believe them. It is absolutely true.
You'll be in my thoughts.
I made it to a meeting tonight for the first time in almost two weeks! I feel better. It's pretty cool how that works.
[Ultimatedyke]I am an addict.
Welcome, Ultimate. Do you have a less unwieldy handle?
In substance, everything you wrote was true for me six months ago; minus the bourbon, I could've written it myself had I been that coherent. Parts of it I can still write today. And that's why we're all here, I think. Something about the way we can nearly write each other's stories.
I'm Marty and I'm an addict. Like you, I didn't know that about myself until six months ago. Like you, I'm a binge user and a polyaddict; I'll take anything. Because I sometimes went years between binges -- though that interval progressively shortened as I grew older and the disease progressed, of course -- because I could quit, because I switched to a different substance each time, because I was so goddam functional, so in-charge, I thought I didn't have a problem. I was fearless and lawless and answered to no one except, increasingly, my addictions and compulsions.
Like you, I was master of all I surveyed -- except myself. I rotated amongst dual universes and never saw, until I saw, how screamingly empty I was, how bankrupt my life had become. I had to make a lot of trouble to arrive finally at that moment of understanding: I am an addict -- and then everything fell into place. When I walked into the rooms of AA, I was mirrored, truly and for the first time, by the faces and voices around me.
So, from one newcomer to another, keep coming. I can't say it gets easier right away. For me the first few months were great (what a relief! I'm awake! I have hope!). Now things are getting tougher because I'm really awake, which means all the crap I stuffed away and doped away and drank away and smoked away is waking up too. Some days are a real struggle. But I'm grateful every day for the chance AA gives me to become a fully-dimensioned human being, finally. I have faith it'll work if I work it. The faith, the willingness, are key. Some days those come more easily than others.
And today I'm grateful you're here, Ultimate. You may not know it, but you're part of the grace that moves through these rooms. You helped another addict today just by telling your story. Let the rest of us help you too.
Welcome to the lifeboat.
Marty
I am glad to be here. I will keep coming back.
Your support and words of encouragement has given me a great deal of hope and strength.
I wrote and ran last night. I ran because I put those words out there, admitted being an addict and became scared.
Funny thing I wrote my admission of being an addict and I ran. I felt exposed, it was like the day I came out to my family and admitted I was gay. I said, and I ran.
The running needs to stop. It's time to saddle up and ride the rough terrain along with the smooth surfaces and always keep the wisdom to know the difference.
I have to realize that I do need to ask for help when I need it, but I also have to continue working and helping myself along the way. For as I see it as much as this is all about the support of people going through the same stuff I am going through, I can't rely on anyone else to do this for me.
I have relied on someone or something else to take care of the pain for too long.
Marty I am Charley and I am an addict
A great many women can feel and behave like men. Very few of them can behave like gentlemen.
Welcome back Charley - you made it through the night - good for you.
I just finished reading step three again as I am beginning my work on that and found something interesting that I thought I would share with you from the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions book (page 35) - You can rely on something and someone else and you don't have to do it alone - you can turn your life over to the care, protection, and guidance of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Of course I have to do the steps and do the work - but, the program and fellowship of Alcoholics Anonyomous has held my hand and taken care of me and I don't have to be alone and run anymore. Keep coming back because it works if you work it, so work it cause you are worth it.
David - who is going to Shea Stadium again today and filling up God's VM with my silly pathetic baseball prayers to kill - okay, not kill, but seriously put a dent in the Brave's bullpen.
May 6
STREET SIGNS
Hanging out on the corner of Disillusion Boulevard and Grief Road, then returning to that special spot on Despair Avenue, was my daily routine. I made the circle and never looked far afield. Widening my circuit allowed me to find Anticipation Place and Hopeful Terrace. I pushed my search and found roads, whose existence I never fathomed, intersecting, creating areas of intrigue. Optimism Court interfacing with Realization Way is the fairest of my finds, but many a fine street corner has me lurking, catching stray sunshine and encouragement. I make my home wherever the hospitality is available and return less often to the dark and stifling places of the past. Happiness is where you find it. Just make sure to read the signs.
Exponential growth is a little thing that affects you in a big way.
Yours in sobriety,
Sherrie
Everything is do-able, even you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please, take a look at my work.......Click here
Please click on the diamond to see my gem of a Daddy/ girl erotica book.
.
Here's looking up your old address
or not............
???
Wha? Is this a trick question?
"Only two things are truly infinite, the universe, and human capacity for stupidity"
~ Attributed to Albert Einstein
Referring to Sherrie's post, I believe....
Disillusion Boulevard seems to be the place I always keep ending up at....
Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
'I will try again tomorrow.'
Proud Member of GPS
I'm with the wrong person
I hope everyone had a great day! HP decided to listen to my baseball prayers by listening to his VM - my team won!
I spoke with my sponser and my 3rd step is completed - well, complete is not really accurate because after I've done these steps I know that I will have to revisit them to make sure they stay fresh in my mind.
I'll be talking with him about beginning my 4th step - I'm not too worried about it - I mean, it is something that I know I have to do because I never did one right the first time around - so, this time I hope to do it right or at least as close to correct as I can - of course, it's something that I will have to come back to if I don't do a daily inventory. I don't want to be worried or obsess on it though. There is something that I am not sure how to approach but hopefully it will work out okay.
I've a question for those who have done it - how did you do your? Did you go by your age, where you were living geographically, according to schools? etc - because I grew up in the military and basically moved every 2 to 3 years I am thinking of doing it according to moves - I hope that makes sense - I am wanting to break it down a bit so that it does not become some huge mountain but instead take it baby steps to tackle it. Any suggestions? Thanks.
I've also decided not to go to my usual home group on Sundays anymore but go to a new one. The folks there are great but it is a small meeting and none of them are folks that I would actually become friends with and I need to broaden my horizons in AA and meet new folks who I can actually call friends. I'm kind of shocked that I am doing this because when I first came into the rooms I didn't want to talk with anyone, didn't need anyone, didn't want to call anyone, I wanted to be alone and certainly didn't want anyone to give me a freaking hug!!!! I am finding that I am not wanting that old way anymore - as a matter of fact at the meeting last night when it was over I asked the group just after the closing prayer if they knew the guy who had announced a need for volunteers for the G/L/B/T Big Apple Round-Up. It's time for me to get off my ass and do some service work to keep my sobriety alive.
Second weekend of no clubbing and going to bed tonight at the times I usually headed out into the city to get into trouble - it still feels kind of weird but feeling okay at the same time.
Heck, changes happen - who knew!!
David -
hey dat! good to know you're doing well! and jumping into the life of AA and step work, you'll make a gr8 sponser im sure!
well as for sugestions; stop telling yourself you didnt do the 4th step "right" before, thats self defecating, you know? the fact is you did it as right as you were supposed to, you cleared away what you could handle(at the time)to make way for what you can handle NOW. whether you feel it wasn't right is DONE with, you're here now and start from where you are. and to me that looks pretty honest openminded and willing. you are asking for suggestions, expanding your mtgs, and actively working with a sponser! how amazing is that?! truth is we can balk at the 4th 9th ANY steps but it always goes back to trying to convince ourselves we are NOT powerless, a certain degree of denial from STEP 1. ive done 4th step twice 2 different ways with the same sponser, i'm sober 33mos, YET i have only taken one person thru to the 7th step before letting her go, none of my sponsees get thru to 5, before they go out, we stop working together, i think they forget im an alcoholic and i know when im being BSd lied to manipulated "worked"hustled" talked circles around playedANDthat we are the same, no better than, no less than, one another.
but keep doing what you're doing and go where the recovery is as if its the bar or places you used, i go to mtgs where i can cultivate the most gratitude for my sobriety, and always pray for the messege to be shown2me however HP wants me to recieve it, we are all channels; if we see ourselves in everyone and every living thing we find we are all the same, and we see beauty in every mirror. whether its sadness pain defeat hate love serenity peacefulness compassion
HAVE A GREAT EVENING DAT_NYC_GUY!YEH BE OF SERVICE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN! THATS HOW I GOT THRU GAY PRIDE LAST YEAR-big trigger-BUT I VOLUNTEERED AND MADE AN AMENDS TO THE POLICE BY WORKING ALONGSIDE THEM AS POLICE LAISON/ SECURITY, it was really not intentional until my sponser pointed it out after. cool huh!
Last edited by mrMsf2005; 05-06-2006 at 09:45 PM.
ChicahuaYolotzin-;;-;-><-;-;;-StrongHeart
May 7
K-TURNS
I do not believe in a universe that makes complete sense. I often find myself trapped because the things I pull into no longer feel firm. I attempt K-turns in alleys far too narrow for the maneuver. I can’t back myself through the passages I plunged into willingly. My faith doesn’t compute in reverse and I find this disconcerting. I may walk into the face of fire but find it impossible to turn my back on the flames. Today, a one-way faith is fine as long as I am moving forward.
Allow talents to unfold like spring leaves.
Yours in sobriety,
Sherrie
Everything is do-able, even you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please, take a look at my work.......Click here
Please click on the diamond to see my gem of a Daddy/ girl erotica book.
.
Thanks mrMsf2005 - A sponser? The idea of that is kind of scary - I'd be worried that I would say the wrong thing - though, I do tend to go up to newcomers whenever I see them in meetings. I tend to gravitate to the clubbers who don't want no freaking hug and are ready to bolt as soon as the meeting is over - gee, I wonder why -ha
I appreciate what you said about my first attempt at a 4th step - but, if I had done it right I wouldn't have gone out - that's why I want to do this 4th step and then move on to the 5th - (and the rest of them too of course) I've wasted way too much of my time being a resentful drunk and I don't want to go back to that again. I've got to get that pity-pot ring off my ass and out of my attitude. I don't want to just not be drinking - I want a life.
Good for you on working the SF Pride - the amends thing. This pride will be weird for me. I am one of the executive board members which produces the NYC G/L/B/T Pride event but will be dropping that after this year because I need to get involved in sober activities. Last year I made a feeble attempt to get clean during Pride - I am the treasurer and have to be at the pier dances for two nights straight (pardon the pun) and it is a literal vodka bath! I will be completely surrounded by alcohol and counting a ton of money all soaked in alcohol - fortunately, God willing, I will have almost 8 months clean time when I do that this year so it should be okay - I need to have a strong, steady foundation to get through that and make sure I don't have any HALT stuff going on. Fortunately, they all know I quit drinking and they are supportive and don't encourage me to drink.
David
hey dat! good to know you're doing well! and jumping into the life of AA and step work, you'll make a gr8 sponser im sure!
well as for sugestions; stop telling yourself you didnt do the 4th step "right" before, thats self defecating, you know? the fact is you did it as right as you were supposed to, you cleared away what you could handle(at the time)to make way for what you can handle NOW. whether you feel it wasn't right is DONE with, you're here now and start from where you are. and to me that looks pretty honest openminded and willing. you are asking for suggestions, expanding your mtgs, and actively working with a sponser! how amazing is that?! truth is we can balk at the 4th 9th ANY steps but it always goes back to trying to convince ourselves we are NOT powerless, a certain degree of denial from STEP 1. ive done 4th step twice 2 different ways with the same sponser, i'm sober 33mos, YET i have only taken one person thru to the 7th step before letting her go, none of my sponsees get thru to 5, before they go out, we stop working together, i think they forget im an alcoholic and i know when im being BSd lied to manipulated "worked"hustled" talked circles around playedANDthat we are the same, no better than, no less than, one another.
but keep doing what you're doing and go where the recovery is as if its the bar or places you used, i go to mtgs where i can cultivate the most gratitude for my sobriety, and always pray for the messege to be shown2me however HP wants me to recieve it, we are all channels; if we see ourselves in everyone and every living thing we find we are all the same, and we see beauty in every mirror. whether its sadness pain defeat hate love serenity peacefulness compassion
HAVE A GREAT EVENING DAT_NYC_GUY!
one more thing ...
If you can have a sober member of the program with you THAT is where your strength will be.
Cal
"Only two things are truly infinite, the universe, and human capacity for stupidity"
~ Attributed to Albert Einstein
David, my bud, since you put it out here on the thread I gotta tell you that has relapse all over it and if there was a speeding train coming toward you I would be willing to yell RUN and push you from the tracks
"alcohol soaked money" and YOU gotta count it??
please tell me there is some other way for you to be of service to Pride Day NYC....
and congrats in advance on your upcoming YEAR of sobriety!
sorry to crosstalk, but that was a cry for help from one alcoholic if I ever heard one
Yeah, that would be a good idea. I know one woman involed with it who is in the program - problem is that she was the one I spoke to last year about getting clean. I told her that I did not want to drink and she told me to not worry about quitting right then and that if I needed to go drink then go ahead and do it and after pride weekend I can go to a meeting. (Um, this one had 17 years) Um, what did I do - duh - you guessed it oy. I hate to say this but I've met more whack jobs in this program than I care to count - the more I think about it the more I am getting a resentment again because I am starting to get angry about it as I type it.
David - signing off to go call dat guy who makes me call him everyday
stay in the solution ...
Send your jet for me & I will FORCE myself do NYC pride with you.
Cal
"Only two things are truly infinite, the universe, and human capacity for stupidity"
~ Attributed to Albert Einstein
Hey Jester - I won't have one year until November 11th. I'd love to be able to have someone else do it but I am the treasurer of the organization and have been the treasurer for the past two years. I have to be there from noon on Saturday til about 2am and then on Sunday from noon until 6am. I'm going to try and find some sober folks who want to volunteer for the event with the finance department - they get into the dances for free. I've thought about just not doing it but this is our major fund raiser and no one else understands the treasury work - it's not exactly the fun job of the organization - oy. I think by just talking about it, it takes the power away. Thanks Jester.
David
David, my bud, since you put it out here on the thread I gotta tell you that has relapse all over it and if there was a speeding train coming toward you I would be willing to yell RUN and push you from the tracks
"alcohol soaked money" and YOU gotta count it??
please tell me there is some other way for you to be of service to Pride Day NYC....
and congrats in advance on your upcoming YEAR of sobriety!
sorry to crosstalk, but that was a cry for help from one alcoholic if I ever heard one
I can't be the only one wondering where's Sherrie? I hope your ok.
May 8
THE SHINY THING
The starling stands with the candy wrapper in its beak; the cellophane flexes in the breeze. Here is my life. I have the shiny thing in my possession. What do I do? Do I give up my intended tasks to attempt dominance or control of the shiny thing? Do I release this thing of intrigue and beauty? I am drawn to the shimmer and sparkle but shudder at the price. The world is filled with shiny things. I can enjoy them but leave them where they lay.
Play the tune but change the lyrics.
Yours in sobriety,
Sherrie
Everything is do-able, even you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please, take a look at my work.......Click here
Please click on the diamond to see my gem of a Daddy/ girl erotica book.
.
I have litterally said for years that I love shiny things. Hmmm...beer cans are shiny. I have to admit that I've had thoughts about shiny things today.
Thanks Sherrie - if that doesn't sound like the clubs for me I don't know what does. Again, you hit a bulls eye for me.
Well, I started my 4th step today - I always thought I was a pretty decent little kid and for the most part I was - well, today while doing the 4th step I also found out that I was also a little shit. Who knew! Oy.
David - wonders if doing my 4th step while listening to R.E.M. is such a good idea.
Been thinking of a few "shiny things"
of my own today....
Managed to avoid them,
thanks to intervention.
Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
'I will try again tomorrow.'
Proud Member of GPS
I'm with the wrong person
My sponsor took me through the steps in such a way that I was able to rigorously honest & fearless at the same time. I have thought about putting the process in a post, but you were just starting your 4th and the only person you need to listen to right now is your sponsor.Thanks Sherrie - if that doesn't sound like the clubs for me I don't know what does. Again, you hit a bulls eye for me.
Well, I started my 4th step today - I always thought I was a pretty decent little kid and for the most part I was - well, today while doing the 4th step I also found out that I was also a little shit. Who knew! Oy.
David - wonders if doing my 4th step while listening to R.E.M. is such a good idea.
See you on the other side and call if you get stuck.
Cal
"Only two things are truly infinite, the universe, and human capacity for stupidity"
~ Attributed to Albert Einstein
today i took a tiny step. i made a conscious decision to not drink. and i can tell ya, for the last twenty years i've had very few nights when i didn't drink or drug (with the exception of being pregnant twice). i am feeling ok.....just kinda bored actually. not really knowing what to do with myself (it's kinda scary when you develop such habits that are just second nature, no matter how destructive). but, i am feeling ok. but it's only the first day. ask me how i am tomorrow?? i printed off the AA schedule and really want to attend a meeting this week. i'm just scared shitless of going. but i know it's something i need. my life (actually my liver) at this point really does depend on it.
jules<---------feeling ashamed, scared and lonely
i gotz ugly hair.
Go ahead and post it - I'm doing it the way he told me to do it. Though, I have also spoken to someone else about it as well which was good - I take in what everyone says and take what works for me. So, I would love to read what you did. Besides, I am pretty much on a roll and will probably keep doing it the way I have been. Heck, folks were right about this 4th step - I am glad I am doing it - not happy, estatic - but, if this makes any sense - feeling some relief by doing this.
David - the little shit
Howdy FunkyFemme, glad you are here with us. It IS scary when you decide to not drink and decide to go to meetings. You're doing the right things so you are already headed in the right direction.
Sherrie,
I must say that everytime I read your writings they are so inspirational! I am always at awe with the eloquence of your words. Keep writing away
In Recovery & Sobriety,
Eb
"I adore simple pleasures. They are the last refuge of the complex." Oscar Wilde
PrinceSoGoodYourGonnaDropToYourKneesNookie[
of The Island of Dreams Purple Loincloth Tribe
Jules I'm glad your here darlin. AA has saved many a life. The first step is the hardest, at least it was for me. But as they say over and over, it's only one day you gotta get thru at a time. And what a relief in knowing that. I know that you are lonely and scared, that's part of it. Please keep coming back and if you need to talk we are all here for you and you can always PM me. I don't know much, but I'm here for you as much as I can be.today i took a tiny step. i made a conscious decision to not drink. and i can tell ya, for the last twenty years i've had very few nights when i didn't drink or drug (with the exception of being pregnant twice). i am feeling ok.....just kinda bored actually. not really knowing what to do with myself (it's kinda scary when you develop such habits that are just second nature, no matter how destructive). but, i am feeling ok. but it's only the first day. ask me how i am tomorrow?? i printed off the AA schedule and really want to attend a meeting this week. i'm just scared shitless of going. but i know it's something i need. my life (actually my liver) at this point really does depend on it.
jules<---------feeling ashamed, scared and lonely
Congrat's on your first day
.Think About What Your Thinking About
Thank you everyone for your support, and welcome to Jules.
Sherrie
Everything is do-able, even you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Please, take a look at my work.......Click here
Please click on the diamond to see my gem of a Daddy/ girl erotica book.
.
today i took a tiny step. i made a conscious decision to not drink. and i can tell ya, for the last twenty years i've had very few nights when i didn't drink or drug (with the exception of being pregnant twice). i am feeling ok.....just kinda bored actually. not really knowing what to do with myself (it's kinda scary when you develop such habits that are just second nature, no matter how destructive). but, i am feeling ok. but it's only the first day. ask me how i am tomorrow?? i printed off the AA schedule and really want to attend a meeting this week. i'm just scared shitless of going. but i know it's something i need. my life (actually my liver) at this point really does depend on it.
jules<---------feeling ashamed, scared and lonelyJules,
Sometimes, even after 10 years,
I still feel a little scared and lonely.
That is the amazing thing about groups like this one,
as well as attending egular meetings.
All of a sudden, you start realising that you have friends out there,
friends who have at least one HUGE thing in common with you.
Then, once you start feeling lonely or scared,
you have phone calls you can make,
to people who WON'T suggest that a drinking/drugging binge might help.
You begin to know where the meetings are at any given time of the day,
so that you can walk in and connect with people who understand.
When you get bored,
you can call one of the ladies in the program,
and ask if she is up for coffee....
You have my YIM....
Contact me any time you feel the need.
Leave me an offline message if you don't see me on,
I WILL get back to you!!!
And Jules?
Never forget that,
no matter WHAT time of the day or night it is,
your Higher Power is right there beside you.
Courage does not always roar.
Sometimes it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying,
'I will try again tomorrow.'
Proud Member of GPS
I'm with the wrong person
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