Friend of Bill W.

[DrumBangingGirl]

Dee,

I hear you. I have slammed prayer against a wall like tennis practice many times. I hope things get better in your neck of the world! It is amazing what other people do without our imput. What really gets to me is what I do without my own imput.......that's where the real trouble in my world comes from!

Very truly,

Sherrie

Thank you. May I please have seconds on the rest of your post?
Dee

p.s. My neck of the woods is not spinning as wildly as it was earlier this morning! * phew *

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 1

OLD BOOKKEEPING, NEW PAINTING


What will become of the fine lines I use to divide good news from bad? How will I handle a life with no screen to keep the silt from shifting across my personal landscape? A delicate crosshatch had kept little checks in little boxes; now the checks are bouncing randomly, no pattern or restraint. My old bookkeeping has come to an abrupt end, leaving many questions and much uncertainty. I lift the green visor from my brow, looking for answers from the periphery. Taking the long view I put down my pencil and pick up my paints, sling the easel over my shoulder and walk away from meticulous survival. The fine lines I have now are in my brush strokes and even bad news is somehow good.


Donate some time.


Sherrie

[Tommi]

Painting life with a broad stroke, because I could never stay in the lines. Rum N Coke taught me that. 32 years sober, and I am still outside the lines , and know it doesn't really matter, as long as I remember how I got home home.


Speaking of , IT WILL be done by the time you arrive.

Your inspirations seem to be jsut what is needed and the though for the day should be in fortune cookies.
See you soon

[DrumBangingGirl]

I have been a friend of Lois's for 36 years. I truly appreciate all that you post! Today, things are good. Today life has retruend to a semblence of normalcy, whatever that may mean, lol.

I hope you have a wonderful day, Sherrie and Tommi.
Dee who is SO grateful, today.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Thank you both so much! I am having a wonderful day tying up lose ends and getting ready to fly west! I am so glad what I posted is well recieved by your two! Have a great day!

Sherrie

[Tommi]

I have been a friend of Lois's for 36 years. I truly appreciate all that you post! Today, things are good. Today life has retruend to a semblence of normalcy, whatever that may mean, lol.

I hope you have a wonderful day, Sherrie and Tommi.
Dee who is SO grateful, today.

Dee,
Glad today is a good one and the gratefulness has already spread.. Thank you .
I am priveleged to still be here..

Thank you both so much! I am having a wonderful day tying up lose ends and getting ready to fly west! I am so glad what I posted is well recieved by your two! Have a great day!

Sherrie

One Day At A TIme, we can handle it, and every day we get closer .
The BASH just around the corner, and I am thinking maybe I need some new shirts!!..

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 2

A LITTLE EXTRA HOPE


“What will you do with a little extra hope?” asked my quizzical sponsor.
“What good is a little hope?” my retort.
“A little hope got you sober. What can you do with a little more? Could you take out your dreams and fly them on a breeze? Could you throw yourself into a wave of intention and see if you can ride it out? Breathe easier, smile broader? Take my hand tighter and walk the road awhile longer before you run for refuge? Now let me ask you a better question. What couldn’t you do with a little more hope?”
“Fail.”


Wash as a meditation.


Sherrie

[DrumBangingGirl]

Sherrie & Tommi,

LOL. I am a little slow at times, however, I just figured out you two are a couple. How cool. Thank you both, again for being here. Yes, grateful I am!

Today, my husband awoke feeling renewed, as did I. We are taking the motorcycle out this weekend come heck or high water and soaking up some beauty in nature. We talked last night and let go some issues. We found a new place from which to work out what we had not been saying. Long term will do that, I guess. It can bring you to a place of not taking as much time to say the necessary things to each other. In other words, taking each other for granted. Well, not today!

We have discovered he has a heart issue and he has been feeling broken. I was struggling with fixing him, his emotions, making his life easier. However, I was only taking away his dignity by not wanting him to feel his pain, grief, and anger at being uninvincible. Shoot! Guess I learned a thing or two in the last weeks. Thankfully.

I am accepting the things I cannot change and changing the things I can. Namely, me. He has to go through his stuff, I can only hold him or his hand and let him know I am here when he is ready. He was ready last night.

Thank you, Universe for pointing me in the right direction. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

For today, I can live in the moment. I can see what is and not fear it.

Lawdy, I do ramble at times. LOL.
Dee the girl on the back of the bike, not the driver!

[LeftWriteFemme]

Dear Dee,

Congratulaions on not being a backseat driver! That's a huge thing to learn. I'm so happy that you and your spouse have come together. What a gift!

I am almost ready to fly west to see my Daddy (Tommi) I am very excited. Just to give a bit of history, Tommi and I met right here on this thread. I am glad you found the thread it is a great place, I met my love here and have made many wonderful friends as well.

Have a good time on the bike,

Sherrie

[DrumBangingGirl]

Dear Dee,

Congratulaions on not being a backseat driver! That's a huge thing to learn. I'm so happy that you and your spouse have come together. What a gift!

I am almost ready to fly west to see my Daddy (Tommi) I am very excited. Just to give a bit of history, Tommi and I met right here on this thread. I am glad you found the thread it is a great place, I met my love here and have made many wonderful friends as well.

Have a good time on the bike,

Sherrie

Thank you very much for the congrats. OMG it IS a huge gift. We had a really wonderful lunch hour. He helped me block the sweater I made for him and we talked like the old days!

How sweet you met Tommi right here! Kismet, right? I am thankful and happy I found my way here, too. Last weather report calls for rain til tomorrow afternoon, however, we are die hard bike riders. Looks like I best get the rain suits out , along with the leathers! * giggle * It looks like it will be a cold, hard ride.

You have a safe trip out West! Your excitement comes through as clear as a bell. Too cool. I hope you and Tommi have a fantastic time together!

Dee

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 3

SEAM ALLOWANCE


The space given and taken, the space used to bind us and sew us fast.
The permission for humanness and the need for seams to make us whole. The narrow margin, a shoulder on which I lean, the slender strip a place of refuge.

Darts are snipped to hug the curves; I bend to fit to life.
Our nearness; being my own part and part of more.
Planning, and a pattern cut to order with allowances made for fraying and fragility, allow me to feel woven into a web of what is and still hope for more. The unfinished garment is taking shape, easing and stretching.

And before my eyes, pins held between the teeth of God.

Keep strong words on a high shelf you have access to.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 4

BELLS



The bells are ringing but no one sings. There are no peals of laughter and that’s just fine, for pleasure is not the only response to sound. Shock and distain are other options, too. I have what I want in relationship to the buzz in my ear, equal opportunity attitude, pro and con. Some songs bring joy when they end. I have to lower my expectation of pleasure and value my distaste for tinkling sounds or any other preordained sweetness.


See through your problems.


Sherrie

[DrumBangingGirl]

October 4

BELLS



The bells are ringing but no one sings. There are no peals of laughter and that’s just fine, for pleasure is not the only response to sound. Shock and distain are other options, too. I have what I want in relationship to the buzz in my ear, equal opportunity attitude, pro and con. Some songs bring joy when they end. I have to lower my expectation of pleasure and value my distaste for tinkling sounds or any other preordained sweetness.


See through your problems.


Sherrie

Way to go, Sherrie. I always heard you hear what you need to hear, when you need to hear it. I did this morning! Thank you!

Dee

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 5

WHAT IS PAST


The past cannot hold me in a loving embrace. I run too often looking for affection and recognition in things long dead and purportedly buried. I return to the ghoulish obsession of digging up old hates and sorrows, longing for support and finding only the cause of the ulcers in my soul. I wallpaper the crumbling facade not wanting to cover it up but to hold it together, trying to unify something, which is totally shattered. When I view it with a sober eye, the past is nothing but a slideshow under a strobe light. The pulse triggers the impulsive belief that it was all real when, in truth, it was the lie I survived. No life existed in the past and only now is there air to breathe. The past is all vacuum and I don’t need to be sucked away.


Take an enemy’s inventory and don’t give it back.

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 6

REMEMBERING


Remembering is the oxygen my brain pumps to my soul. Remembering gives me mobility and traction. Everything in my life that is positive depends on my remembering. It keeps apathy at bay and complacency locked in some far off cupboard. Remembering gives today the misty sweetness I have grown to love. I can live to my potential and enjoy the process, watch misery move away. I can dream the future every night because I remember who I am and what I am capable of. Never can I be haunted, memory keeps me from reactionary visitation. Though some fear the past, I know holding it in a close embrace allows me to dance to the rhythm of truth.


Think of names for your sneakers.

[DrumBangingGirl]

Let me please be directed toward further acceptance of having NO control. I wanna fix his health issues and MAKE the damn doctors DO something to help! I wanna let him know it's gonna be okay, even if it's not.

For this 24 hours, I can endure anything.

God, I just wanna spit. Okay, I give myself permission, for 5 minutes, to throw a big hissy fit and then I am over it!

Serenity Prayer!
Let Go. Let God.
Easy Does It.
Do the 3 step dance.

Okay, I'm finished whining.
Dee

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 7

FRUSTRATING IMPROVEMENT


Improvement is frustrating, lonely and yet exhilarating. It somehow starts with moths in the stomach and ends up with that warm soup satisfaction. Struggle, waiting, followed by further struggle; progress is made by tugging one string then the other. It is hard to accept scaling the ropes alone, but tottering assent is always this way. Once at the top I realize how easily I could slide to the bottom, sometimes friction is all that keeps me up. Establishing a new altitude is challenging; I must ground myself in a new way. My talents hinder and aid me. I must open the correct doors in my mind and avoid the traps in the floor. Stuttering through requirements and obligations I transform but only slowly, earning each drop of comfort from a job just done.


Think smart, speak clearly.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 8

ALARM CLOCK


The dream-killer plays its harsh tones. I pull my lids, so unwilling to wake. The tip of my tongue, dry to leather, welcomes the wet of my toothbrush. I grin a foaming smile. I run through my night's travels; I mentally wonder the highlights, ponder the implications and meanings. Dressed, with open door breeze in my face, I leave nighttime escapades for daytime pandemonium. The only thing that won’t leave me is the last image before the gong sounded.


Tie paper dolls of people into books that may help them.


Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

I'll be at the bash!

You might want to check out the following thread!

Click this for 2006 Bash attendees in Recovery

I'll be posting more in the next few days ... this weekend for sure! Let me know if you are up to a meeting, either one of b-fers or going to one there. I plan on making one a day.

KOOP

I know this is from the last time the Bash was in Vegas, but the link still works and the link to the schedule on the other thread still works, so here it is...Thanks Koop, see, a good deed is a good deed forever!

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 9

VIRGINIA CREEPER


In a clearing grows a vine; as seasons change the leaves turn pale. This type of vine grows throughout the wood, but does it grow pale everywhere or only in the sunlit space? I see the trembling of the lovely foliage and wonder the destiny of the flora. Does growth have a will of its own? Does it grow to the light or is it a must? Can I turn my face even if Virginia Creeper cannot? And if I can, should I, just to prove a point?


Keep a spare heart for your overflowing love.


Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 10

ALSO A GIFT


Sadness is as life affirming as joy, but in the same way that people eat together but defecate alone, joy is encouraged in public and sadness is a private matter. Happiness is embraced and discouragement relegated, even though personal experience shows disappointment is often a point of growth. What beauty and change stem from disillusion, but still it is hard to look directly at grief and not flinch away. The temptation to feign pleasure and leave sadness swept under the carpet is strong. It is an unwelcome job to be the defender of grief, a job that should be unnecessary, in the same way that the valley between the mountains is unnecessary to defend. We are not giants who can step from one mountaintop to the next.


Try a new game for body, mind and laughs.

Sherrie

[Greyson]

October 10

ALSO A GIFT


Sadness is as life affirming as joy, but in the same way that people eat together but defecate alone, joy is encouraged in public and sadness is a private matter. Happiness is embraced and discouragement relegated, even though personal experience shows disappointment is often a point of growth. What beauty and change stem from disillusion, but still it is hard to look directly at grief and not flinch away. The temptation to feign pleasure and leave sadness swept under the carpet is strong. It is an unwelcome job to be the defender of grief, a job that should be unnecessary, in the same way that the valley between the mountains is unnecessary to defend. We are not giants who can step from one mountaintop to the next.


Try a new game for body, mind and laughs.

Sherrie

Every time I take a moment to read your daily words in this thread, the words speak to me. In a daily meditation book I use yesterday's thoughts were similar. It spoke of revealing one's self, being vulnerable, revealing when appropriate, having boundaries.

When I read your words here Sherrie, I feel as if you have really lived it. These are not just words that come from an abstract theory. I appreciate your candor, the vulnerability you share here with us daily. Sharing your thoughts, your words, have given me courage, inspiration, hope. Thank you.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Every time I take a moment to read your daily words in this thread, the words speak to me. In a daily meditation book I use yesterday's thoughts were similar. It spoke of revealing one's self, being vulnerable, revealing when appropriate, having boundaries.

When I read your words here Sherrie, I feel as if you have really lived it. These are not just words that come from an abstract theory. I appreciate your candor, the vulnerability you share here with us daily. Sharing your thoughts, your words, have given me courage, inspiration, hope. Thank you.

Dear Greyson,

I thank you, I am so glad that what I experience comes through my writing to you, it is my greatest hope, you know. My friend if your ears were burning Thursday night it was because I met a friend of yours and we spoke at length of what a kind friend you are and the many gifts your friendship has brought into each of our lives. Thank you for being a friend to me and many others. My best wishes to you, your sister and your family.

Are you planning to go to WACYPAA? I am the keynote speaker there this year, Mark, the chairperson told me that this is the first time they have had a gay keynote speaker there, needless to say I am honored beyond words. All of this has been made possible because you reached out to me about speaking in Sacramento.

Very truly,

Sherrie

[Greyson]

Dear Greyson,

I thank you, I am so glad that what I experience comes through my writing to you, it is my greatest hope, you know. My friend if your ears were burning Thursday night it was because I met a friend of yours and we spoke at length of what a kind friend you are and the many gifts your friendship has brought into each of our lives. Thank you for being a friend to me and many others. My best wishes to you, your sister and your family.

Are you planning to go to WACYPAA? I am the keynote speaker there this year, Mark, the chairperson told me that this is the first time they have had a gay keynote speaker there, needless to say I am honored beyond words. All of this has been made possible because you reached out to me about speaking in Sacramento.

Very truly,

Sherrie

This is wonderful news! Every little message, in every facet of our varied lives this adds to understanding, and perhaps even recovery for others; IMO. Is there a website we can take a look at to read more about this upcoming conference and when?

[LeftWriteFemme]

It's not complete, but you know how we are......... this is the link http://wacypaa.org/ Hope to see you there looks like it is going to be a ball

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 11

DENY ONE, DENY THE OTHER


If you want to deny the problem, by necessity you must deny the solution. Resolving a problem whose existence is rejected creates a split in the crust of collusion. Oftentimes, the convolution and reconvolution of addiction causes a bloated roiling mass that rolls through the streets of sanity. How can a wedge be cut in a creature so dense? How can I work on piecing together remedies when I am readily assured by fellow sufferers there is NO DIS-EASE? Can I trust my personal depletions? Can I employ faith to a resolution when faith is utilized to fortify the contagion I’m told doesn’t exist? But if not faith, what?


Count out all the buttons in your box.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 12

JOY IS NOT ENOUGH


I was driving around in my car, eating a meltingly ripe persimmon. On the radio came a fiddle-playing band performing their rendition of In The White Room. I was traveling with the three drafts of my first step, version one consisting of 690-some words and the final consisting of only four. Joy is not enough. That’s it. The whole thing. Today my life is unmanageable due to the fact, having a balanced life, feeling my wide range of feelings including joy, is not sufficient to eliminate the pain and damage of the past. My horrific childhood has not healed, has not mended seamlessly. I have joy today, everyday at some point, in proportion to my sober choices.
I fail to realize the promise doesn’t say heal the past; it says I will not regret the past. I don’t, at least not any of the choices I made. Other peoples’ choices are not mine to regret, so I can’t do that for them. I will not wish to shut the door on the past, and I don’t wish to. I want it healed. I may not get my wish. Just because I am doing my part to heal the past doesn’t make anyone else do it. I can’t strong-arm the perpetrators into recovery the way they strong-armed me into abuse.
Joy is not enough, but it’s a hell of a start.


Lend your assets; keep your defects home.

Sherrie

[Tommi]

October 12

JOY IS NOT ENOUGH


I was driving around in my car, eating a meltingly ripe persimmon. On the radio came a fiddle-playing band performing their rendition of In The White Room. I was traveling with the three drafts of my first step, version one consisting of 690-some words and the final consisting of only four. Joy is not enough. That’s it. The whole thing. Today my life is unmanageable due to the fact, having a balanced life, feeling my wide range of feelings including joy, is not sufficient to eliminate the pain and damage of the past. My horrific childhood has not healed, has not mended seamlessly. I have joy today, everyday at some point, in proportion to my sober choices.
I fail to realize the promise doesn’t say heal the past; it says I will not regret the past. I don’t, at least not any of the choices I made. Other peoples’ choices are not mine to regret, so I can’t do that for them. I will not wish to shut the door on the past, and I don’t wish to. I want it healed. I may not get my wish. Just because I am doing my part to heal the past doesn’t make anyone else do it. I can’t strong-arm the perpetrators into recovery the way they strong-armed me into abuse.
Joy is not enough, but it’s a hell of a start.


Lend your assets; keep your defects home.

Sherrie

Thought I would wish you HAPPPPPY Belly Birthday in the thread I know you have posted in daily ,for YEARS,,,,

Celebrating with cake for the Karaoke attendees was fun, and I know you were so surprised....Hope someone filmed it...,

So, wishing you many more wonderful days and years to come.


Tommi

[DrumBangingGirl]

Congratulations, Sherrie, and Belated Happy Birthday. The conference will be oh so enriched by your speech. I hope your birthday was the best you've had.

Dee

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 13

BATTLESHIP


If the first is a guess, what is the second? Paranoia? Or worse? Action is a blessing, reaction a debilitation, and to twist from reaction to self-doubt sinks the battle and the battleship. When I can’t make sense, the gift is stepping back. Better to put my hand down than to lose the farm. When I find myself in a minefield, I can walk gingerly or wait for aide from above, air rescue or other. The option of rethinking every step sets me dancing; the tune, which begins this hurky jerky polka of death, stems from the metronome of criticism playing in my ear. When I am overwhelmed with critique I give up acceptance of chance or the joy of spontaneity, throwing myself into a pit of apprehension. I am safer being wrong occasionally than unsure forever.


Study an old map and find a new way.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 14

MY MOON


I anticipate the crowning of your face as you birth the sky. Your rhythmic visitation sates me. The gravity of my need keeps you close. The tide of my heart pulls you from shore to shore. We live in the sweet ecstasy of tethered love, our souls slingshotting across the open palm of heaven. Your empathy for me transforms these shards of ice to a tender heart… satelliting. I orbit you empowered by your kindness. You are my moon.


Paint your face and print your profile.



Sherrie

[purepisces]

Thought I would wish you HAPPPPPY Belly Birthday in the thread I know you have posted in daily ,for YEARS,,,,

Celebrating with cake for the Karaoke attendees was fun, and I know you were so surprised....Hope someone filmed it...,

So, wishing you many more wonderful days and years to come.


Tommi

Happy belated birthday Sherrie!!!

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 15

REJECTION



Rejection is a game of endurance, a boundary enhancing process, a test of survival. Rejection sought or unsought is a challenge. Sometimes rejection is a flare lighting the need for a change of tactics or direction. Though, it is hard to view rejection as a beacon rather than condemnation. Rejection is also the counterbalance for acceptance. Risk is nothing if rejection is not part of the equation. I cannot value a yes if you could not say no. Rejection is the safety valve when putting myself in situations where I don’t belong. I get sent back to the world of possibilities when the kindness of rejection ejects me from the wrong choice.


Look at the keyhole then look at the key.

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 16

HIDE AND SEEK


I have sought You high and low, but like the rain, You have always found me. I, like a cold, wet cat on a winter’s day, peer into warm lit windows hoping You will be home. I seek, to keep me moving. You find me for some unknown reason. I have given up naming You. I trust You know who you are, in spite of the fact I do not. You are places I don’t know and doing things I think better of. Citing the list of errands I daily make for You, not to beleaguer You, but the unfinished list of history trails out of my pocket, and I worry I may posses Your only copy of this injustice list. There have been days of peace, days I don’t think too much, days I turn away from my history lessons and future projections. My ultimate problem is with the equal sign. I run the numbers and it figures inequity. I check my calculations and shake the calculator of my mind. Deeply, I fear You’re a one god and do not comprehend the implications of zero. If you multiply with only things above the naught, You maybe unaware of nothingness, the empty things I feel when I can’t seem to find You. Self-possessed, insensitive of the cipher, Your dimensions stay positive. Bring me into Your realm or join me in the void. I seek You, but You have found me.


Weigh your demands and don’t let them tip your scale.



Sherrie

[1-Sunny-Spirit]

I love this line in LeftWriteFemme's post dated October 13th:

"I am safer being wrong occasionally than unsure forever."

I am so glad I came in here and read that. I do not believe it was an accident.

Thank you.
My best to all.

[LeftWriteFemme]

Happy belated birthday Sherrie!!!

Thanks so much!

[LeftWriteFemme]

I love this line in LeftWriteFemme's post dated October 13th:

"I am safer being wrong occasionally than unsure forever."

I am so glad I came in here and read that. I do not believe it was an accident.

Thank you.
My best to all.

I am so glad you like it I am quite proud of it!

Thanks all my best to you,

Sherrie

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 17

FISHING FOR CONTENTMENT


Fishing for contentment is a wonderful pastime but what is used for bait? Is there a delicacy to dangle before contentment to lure it into my life? Can I crumble the best biscotti and leave a trail to my door? I don’t believe contentment swims around waiting to be caught. I think it’s more like the wild yeast that finds its way to my starter. If I put the ingredients in my life, contentment will rise to the occasion.


Renew your own understanding of the word NO.



Sherrie

[1-Sunny-Spirit]

Started keeping a journal a while back ... sort of for my own guide to growth ... nothing time consuming - just little compact ideas I like to keep in mind ... go back and read occasionally.

Examples:

____________________________________________

Love responsibly, without judgment, with genuine respect caring and concern for a person's well being and personal growth.
____________________________________________

Be there for her when she needs company. Listen when she talks but don't feel
hurt or worried if she doesn't want to talk. Be patient when she gets really upset.
Don't cut her off or try to tell her everything is alright when it is not. Don't ever put
your life on hold for her because it could upset her. Even though you don't intend
to, you would be obligating yourself to her and creating a debt. Independence is really crucial. She does not need another burden and may come to resent it.

____________________________________________



Oh, here is something a friend told me about a year and a half ago during a conversation. To me, it is compact, short and sweet, packs a good punch - just like I like it.
I quote her:
"No one can disrespect me or treat me badly without my persmission."
That one line helped me so much though an ongoing difficult situation at work. Instead of becoming aggressive back toward these mean spirited people at work, I asked for a private meeting with my Special Projects manager months ago (around February 2009) and asked to be relocated to another team. She was very helpful and encouraging, told me to hang on and let her see what she could do for me. I had to be patient and trust the process - even though it was slow according to me. (Normally, I don't wait well.) *grin* She came through for me. Just recently, about a week or so ago, my request was honored. Today I am working on the Progressive Development Team with some very nice people coding again in Microsoft .NET instead of Sybase PowerBuilder. So refreshing! Also, during the difficult period with these nasty people at work, I never once lost my cool or got into a shouting match with anyone.

Though I've been dealing with a couple of "personal hurts" for the last month or so, I will get though it and in the long run, be a better person because of it.

Happy Day to All!

[LeftWriteFemme]

October 18

MY HEROINE


The corpse that is my childhood is mine to protect from the wolves and rats of denial and collusion. The infant who commits suicide in self-defense is my heroine. The pure thinking of an uncluttered mind seizes on the only possible way for me to survive. Her death at her own hand is my rescue. If the bad had killed her I would have died with her. In her plan, I was left as the seed she ejected in her assent. She is gone from this place; I feel her only as the wisp of memory. The tiny body laid flat on the carpet, her pressed pinafore somehow more alive than she, is the unfinished business of prevention. As long as I see her there and do not walk away from my responsibility and never forget she protected me with the life she never lived, I am free to live this life.


Throw ice cubes up for God to catch.


Sherrie