I thought about the way he laughed, like he knew a secret. He wore a navy uniform to work and thick-soled shiny boots. I thought about the shininess of those boots. I wondered if Dupont was somehow involved, better living through chemicals. All I knew was every time I thought about his boots it changed my chemistry. I liked his view on the world, cynical, more than a little jaded and really fucking accurate.
He was J.D. Salinger reclusive, fond of cats as opposed to humans and had skipped kindergarten. He said that was the critical misstep in his young life that led to his undoing. Maybe a bit of a lost boy, Peter Pan, someone who saw too much too young, did too many things too young. The dark quiet ones always turned my head and he turned mine.
We were to meet for coffee in Magog, a quiet Quebec town not too far from the Vermont border. He had driven nine hours, surviving on coffee, bad diner food and various mixed tapes. I sat in the café alternately rearranging the salt and pepper shakers and the sugar bowl. I had opted for a black dress, mary-janes and a pink sweater. I thought about him walking through the door, finally able to see him. I was fiddling with a straw wrapper pondering the dining habits of smokers when I looked up to see him walking in. His eyes struck me immediately, blue even from a distance. He gave me a shy smile, my heart lurched forward and two-stepped back.
I smiled and tried to suppress an unnatural noise. He stood at the end of the table. I looked up into his blue eyes, mesmerized. Every drunken high school dance I attended went through my mind and every line from a John Hughes movie.
“Hey.” He coughed.
I wanted to say a million things; they all flew out of my head. “Are those Gap jeans you’re wearing?” I eyed his pants suspiciously.
“Yeah, they are. Are you not gonna let me sit down?” he quizzed.
“Yeah, this time.” I warned. He slid into the booth across from me. “How was your drive?” I sat on my hands to keep from making any sudden wild gestures. I felt vaguely sick and hoped the conversation would drown out my thumping heartbeat. I realized suddenly that I was smiling at him like a savant girl on the lam.
He looked me in the eye, “It was long.” He looked so serious. I felt panic welling up in me. Again the urge to speak rose up yet nothing left my mouth. Too much cooking with aluminium was kicking in.
I cocked my head, “Yeah nine hours is a long time.”
“It wasn’t so bad.” He smiled and my anxiety dropped back to sea level. “I had some pretty good tapes this chick made me.” He flushed. I smiled and relaxed.
“So you wanna have some cawfee?” I tried to imitate his eastern accent. He laughed and shook his head.
“Nah, I’ve had loads of coffee. Too much actually.”
“You tired?” I realized how long he’d been on the road. Polite to offer an early night.
“Yeah, I wouldn’t mind layin’ down.” He paused, “With you.” He looked at me for a response. I smiled a slow smile and studied him. His left hand turned his Zippo lighter over and over. The Zippo I heard over the phone, time after time, lighting his Camel Lights. I had fetishized it. The cold click of the lighter snapping shut sent a spark straight to my pussy. It was an involuntary action, a Pavlov’s dog experiment long distance. He glanced at his Zippo. “You want a cigarette angeee?” He was playing.
I looked at him amused, “Yeah, let’s go have a cigarette.”
We went outside and started to walk towards the lake. It was darker than an urban area. We were in the Eastern Townships, cottage country, the lack of street lighting allowed the night sky to shine brighter than the city skies we lived under. We walked slowly along a stretch of gravel road. The moon shimmered on the water. I thought of the L7 song he had put on the first CD he had made me, “Moonshine.”
I took a walk in the park
It was scary and dark
I looked up at the moon
And I wasn’t afraid
I wasn’t afraid
She’s so bright tonight
Shining through the trees
She’s glowing on you
Take a walk with me
You can walk with me in the
Moonshine
If you look at the moon
When I look at the moon
We’re not far away
We’re connected by the moon
Looking at the moon
In the moonshine…
We meandered along the road, the sound of the gravel crunching under our feet. I kicked at a stone and stopped walking. “Yeah, you were right, we are connected by the moon.”
He stopped and turned to me. “Moonshine, that song was my message to you, my secret code to you. Even though you couldn’t talk to me or contact me. I wanted to tell you I was thinking about you.” He coughed and looked down.
“That just about saved my life. I was a stupid girl, doing stupid things and I took a chance.” I wasn’t proud, just truthful.
“I’m glad you did.” He nodded.
“Yeah?” I sucked my breath in.
“Yeah, cause I think you’re a cool girl.”
I twisted my foot in silent delight. “That’s good. I was kinda hoping for a ring pop.” The wind blew my hair around my face and I pushed it aside. No matter how together I tried to be I always ended up looking dishevelled. He pulled a piece of hair stuck to my lip glossed mouth away.
“I’ve got a ring pop for you Angie. I told you I was gonna give you one.” He took my hand and placed it in between his legs.
“Aw, you do like me honey.” I laughed.
“Yeah, I like you. You got a problem with that?” He tried to be tough.
“Nah, I don’t have a problem with that. I think I kinda like it.” I turned my body into his.
“Good, then let’s go to bed, so I can give you my ring pop.” He gave me a wicked grin. I stared at his mouth and willed him to kiss me under the bright, sharp starlight.
“Okay.” I said quietly. We held hands on the walk back to his car and I wondered about life, love, karma, kismet and flat-out luck.
His hotel room was nice, done with the blues and yellows of France’s Provence region. There was a table and two retro-style chairs near a window. I sat down and took a cigarette out of my purse. He flipped his Zippo out.
I hesitated, “You’re quick with a light.” I leaned in and watched the end blaze orange. He snapped it shut deliberately. I shifted in my seat and crossed my legs
“Does that make you uncomfortable?” He sat back and lit his own cigarette, dragging hard on it. I noticed the way he held his cigarette was the polar opposite of me, His arms, the way he sat, his carriage, all of it butch. I had the sudden urge to get on my knees and pull at his belt buckle. I thought about geometry and right angles instead.
I answered his question. “Does it make me uncomfortable? A little bit.” My eyes flitted about the room nervously.
“You don’t need to be nervous. It’s ok.” He smiled a genuine smile.
“I just have a really, really big crush on you and it’s even worse, no wait, make that, better, in person.” I was literally wringing my hands.
“A crush? You have a crush on me?” He was mulling this over as if just receiving this news for the first time. “I thought you had more than a crush. I don’t know if I’ve ever driven this far for a crush.” He placed his finger on his Zippo.
“Uh, yeah, about that crush. I was actually looking for something a little more permanent. I was hoping to apply for the position of your wife, if you’re hiring right now.” I placed my hands on my knees and sat up straight.
“Really? It just so happens I’ve got an opening for a secretary slash wife. The pay is lousy but the benefits aren’t too bad. You realize there’s a list of wifely duties that accompany that uh, position.” I tried to keep a straight face. He stood up and went over to the bed and sat down. “C’mere.” He patted the bed.
Like a Stepford Wife I got up and sat down beside him. “What exactly are my wifely duties?” I asked smiling nervously. He stared at my mouth.
“The first one is to let me kiss you.” And with that he leaned forward and kissed me, gently then more firmly, pushing his tongue into my mouth. He tasted like his vices: cigarettes and coffee.
I pulled away and said softly, “Wow, that’s kind of dreamy.” I smiled as my heart made up it’s own new rhythm.
“Dreamy huh? That’s sweet.” He kissed me again, harder this time, his hand pushing my sweater aside, squeezing my breasts. “I like your sweater.” He murmured. His other hand slid up my leg and under my skirt. I pulled away.
“Honey, what’re you doing?” I feigned shock.
“I won’t hurt you, I promise.” He squeezed my hand and smiled.
“Not even a little bit huh?” I bartered.
“Well maybe a little bit.” He leaned in and whispered in my ear, “Cause I think you like it that way sometimes.” He glanced at me and flashed me a smile. He started to undo the buttons on the front of my dress, exposing my bra, black with pink ribbon. “Nice bra, pink and black, sexy.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss my breasts. I touched the back of his closely shaved head. I started to count upward from one to focus. He pulled my breasts out and gave a low whistle. “Nice honey, very nice, you are honeywhite.” He began to suck on my nipple, biting lightly. “You wanna go parking baby?”
I held his head as he looked up at me, “Yeah, I wanna go parking with you.” He smiled and kissed me. I lost count of my numbers.
“I think you should put your cock right here.” I pointed to the space between my breasts.
He nodded, “Yeah, I think that’s a good idea.” He pulled the top of my dress down and pushed me back on the bed. I took my bra off and pushed my tits together, doing my best porn star imitation. I pinched my nipples and stared at him. I could feel the heat vibrating from my pussy. He kneeled above me and unzipped his jeans. I sat up suddenly.
“I want your cock in my mouth first.” I smiled sweetly.
He looked surprised then pleased, “Whatever way you want it.”
I sat up. “Lay down honey, I want you to watch your cock go in and out of my mouth.” I pushed the pillows up to the top of the bed. He lay back with his hands behind his head.
“Yeah, I wanna watch. I want a show.” He grinned. “Can I smoke while you do it?” I shot him a look. “Whoa, I’m just joking. When I fuck you in the ass, that’s when I smoke.”
I gave him a petulant look, “No honey, that’s when I smoke. Do you wanna get lucky or not?” I hesitated.
“Hey honey, just suck my cock.” Tough guy was back.
“Maybe.” I teased. I touched his cock carefully, studying it. “I like your cock.” I finally announced.
“Well it likes you too.” He chuckled. “Don’t think about it honey, just suck it.” He pushed my head down. I licked the tip of his cock for a minute, slowly, watching his face. I dragged my tongue down the length of his shaft, wrapping my mouth around him. I smiled then opened my mouth to take the entire length of his cock in one go. I could read his pinball eyes: TILT. He frowned and shifted slightly. I pulled my head up, saliva connecting my mouth to the end of his cock. “Fuck.” He whispered. I let spit drop from my mouth as I worked the length of his shaft, up, down, twist and pull. His mouth hung open.
“You okay? You don’t mind me spitting on your cock do you? Maybe I should have asked.” I continued to stroke him. His eyes went from my face to my hand.
“Nah, you don’t have to ask, whatever you want to do, just do it.” He growled.
“Nike proponent. Now I’m going to have to hurt you.” I scowled.
“No really honey, just suck my cock.” He pushed my head back down and wound his fingers through my hair. “Yeah, deep throat it baby. Take it all in.” I felt his cock hit the back of my throat. He held my head there, pushing a little to make me struggle. I came up for air and looked at him while stroking his cock again. “Your lipstick is smudged.” He wiped my mouth with the palm of his hand. He pulled me up to his mouth and kissed me roughly. “I wanna fuck you.” He said in my ear.
“Just do it.” I whispered and closed my eyes. I was struggling to stay in my body. Without another word he pushed my skirt up.
“Nice garter belt. I’ll do my best and try not to rip your stockings but I can’t make any promises. Then again, I kinda like the look of ripped stockings.” He gave me an angelic smile and thrust his fingers under my panties and into my soaking wet pussy. I gasped.
“Shhh… quiet.” He lowered his voice, “You’re so wet. How’d that happen?” He looked at me seriously. I felt his fingers pushing deeper up into me. I squirmed.
“You do that to me. You make me crazy.” My heart was doing double-time. I pulled my legs together instinctively.
“No, no, no, open your legs, relax.” He pulled his fingers out of me and dragged them along my thighs leaving a trail of wetness. “Open your mouth.” I obliged. He slid his fingers in. I sucked automatically. He pushed a third finger, then a fourth into my mouth. I held his wrist and sucked. He watched transfixed. “Fucking sexy.” He pulled his fingers out and slammed his mouth down on mine. His hands squeezed my tits. “You taste good, so good.” He said biting my neck.
Heat flooded my body, “Thank you.” My response was almost inaudible.
He pushed my skirt up even higher and pulled my panties to the side. “Now, “ he said, “now I’m going to fuck you.” He positioned himself over me and leaned back on his heels. I spread my legs and watched him, biting my lip. He pushed the head of his cock into me slowly, watching me for a response. I arched my back and inhaled as I felt him enter. I pulled my legs back to allow him to enter me fully. I gasped and he pushed his way in.
“I think it’s too big, your cock.” I pushed against the bed, trying to scoot up higher, trying to get away from the entire length of his eight-inches.
“No, no, honey. I won’t hurt you. Relax. I’ll fuck you slow.” He spoke quietly while he slowly slid in and out of me. He watched his cock disappear into my pussy. I breathed out and adjusted to try and take his length. “I told you, I’m only gonna make it hurt a little.” He smiled and kissed my breasts.
“Okay.” I nodded and felt his rhythm inside of me.
“Good girl.” He soothed. And with those words a shot went through me. I tightened my pussy around his cock. Now I was fully, completely engaged. I was going to the moon tonight.
“Fuck me, I can take it.” I pulled his hips hard into mine to make my point.
“You sure?” He raised an eyebrow, but increased his speed slightly.
“Yeah, I’m sure. Give it to me.” I gripped his shoulders, pressing my nails into his skin.
“Anything you want baby. Let me get your pretty dress all messy.” He began to slam into me, hard. I matched his rhythm and tempo. I pushed against the headboard, coming down on his cock as he bucked into me. He put my legs over his shoulders and fucked me until my tits bounced in time with his thrusts, my mouth went slack and I saw stars in my eyes, the same stars I’d seen in the moonlit sky earlier.
I had to tell him, “Hey res…”
He continued to pump, “Yeah honey?” he grunted.
“If you keep fucking me like that you’re gonna make me come.” I warned.
“Is that right?” He pumped harder and faster. I felt my body ride the wave. I was on the edge and I didn’t really want to go over but the payoff was going to be too good. I gave in and told him all about it. Let it blurt. White light, white heat coming down on me.
“Right fucking now, honey, right now….” I groaned. “Yeah, yeah, yeah …I want your moonshine all over me. Come in my cunt, cause I’m coming all over your cock right now.” My hands flew to my mouth to try to stop my words but it was too late, I had already let him know. We moved in tandem, finishing the race, him at the finish line only seconds after, his moonshine finally spent on me.



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