Please Accept My Apologies

**Jules** · 09-11-2006, 03:28 PM

Dear Princess who works FOR me,
I agreed to mediation in order for us to establish a better, more adult working relationship. Had I known I would be blindsided with accusations and blatent lies, I doubt I would have been so agreeable. After you finished your tirade, I was too shell shocked to respond, sitting there looking like a deer in headlights. I decided it was wasted energy to defend myself against these accusations (all untrue) and since you brought "witnesses," who are not involved and witnessed nothing since you lied, I sat there silently. My only statement was that I believed your "perceptions" of situations were uh....slightly skewed and felt that mediation probably would not remedy the problem which is you think you're better than me, your supervisor. Now, as this could be true, it doesn't change the fact that I'm your boss and you need to respect that...which was about my only coherent statement throught the whole process. Remember, I was suffering from shellshock which rendered me almost mute. So.........exactly where did all this get us?

Respectfully,
Your Supervisor

**Ceilidh** · 09-11-2006, 03:37 PM

Dear ex-"boss",

No, I'm sorry, I won't be applying to teach at the school next semester. I'm terribly sorry that I have enough self-respect not to put myself into that position again after y'all jerked me around for three months. So sorry, I'm not going to do it.

I'm also very sorry about the god-complex and delusions of grandeur that you seem to have developed. Until your signature is at the bottom of the checks, you are not the boss. Until you're the one hired directly by the Board, you are not the Head of School. I know, the difference is hard to spot. Clearly, that's my fault and I appologize.

Love and puppies,
Ceil

**Concrete_Angel** · 09-11-2006, 03:49 PM

Dear Peg The Receptionist in the Drs. Office,

I am so sorry I had a high temp and had to cancel chemo. I still cannot believe your lazy self called me out, for making you RE-WRITE the orders for Friday. Chemo brings on its own complications and I won't chance more complications by taking it with a fever. I heard your veiled threats when you said this is the last time you will re-arrange the chemo, since you have to HAND WRITE the orders. EXCUSE me for needing it to move and function.

Next life, I will sit on my behind all day and write orders and YOU can be the person whose own immune system attacks them, okay? Poor YOU!

How big can I type GEEZ!

CA~

**SouthernPrincess** · 09-11-2006, 03:53 PM

I am sorry to a certain VP of the company that thinks he knows it all...................You really have no clue to what you are doing and I am sooooooooooo sorry that your mouth got your a** in hot water today and I am really REALLY sorry however that I did not save it from getting burnt today and laughing at you while I watched ~G~

I am sorry to that man I ran off the road this morning. I mean goodness! What was I thinking driving down the road doing the speed limit and not getting out your way when you came up behind Me doing 90???? And shame on Me for slamming on those breaks when you were only inches from My a**.

I am sorry to that lady in the store wearing something that was way out of line for food shopping. I am really sorry My son said so loud that your that your underwear were showing........Oh and the fact he said EWWWWWWW Thats just nasty mom right next to you. Children will be children

**MiamiBadBoi** · 09-13-2006, 05:52 PM

Originally Posted by SouthernPrincess

I am sorry to that lady in the store wearing something that was way out of line for food shopping. I am really sorry My son said so loud that your that your underwear were showing........Oh and the fact he said EWWWWWWW Thats just nasty mom right next to you. Children will be children

I am sorry to this same lady for being unable to hold my laughter in at this very moment while reading this.

**Whispertome** · 09-13-2006, 05:54 PM

Originally Posted by MiamiBadBoi

I am sorry to this same lady for being unable to hold my laughter in at this very moment while reading this.

OMG you two..that is funny..lol, peeing my pants

**sapphire_gurl** · 09-14-2006, 06:09 AM

ok, just to add (since the edit button only seems to stay for so long)

To the stinky guy at work:
I am SO sorry that you chose the evening shift (3:30-12*sometimes later*), I am sorry that the rest of us seem to know what a shower is. And I'm sorry th at you have such hardships as you can't even go to a dollar store and shell out 1.00 for some Deodorant or cologne or something.......maybe we should all chip in .20 or so and get ya some, then we wouldn't have to feel so sorry workin around you.

to the other guy at work:
We have only been there a little over a month, we go through the SAME temp company, you only started 4 days AFTER I did. I am SORRY that I don't know about benifits, or holiday pay. Wait, actually I do, it was in the book that the service gave EVERYONE when they went in. I'm sorry you didn't read it. Maybe you should have your wife read it to you as a bed time story.
I'm sorry that you chose to work in an assembly line, I'm sorry that sometimes we have to move at speeds so fast that it makes your arms hurt just thinkin about it, I'm sorry that paper cuts, pallet jacks, boxes and jumping from table to table interrupts your daily life. I'm sorry that you think it's "bullchit" (hehe, I love that one snow, lol) that we don't get paid holiday, and that you think you know everything about everything there already, so you give us all pop quizzes on it. Please forgive me when I get angry for you doing 1 container to my 4, and please forgive me when I just sigh and say, "go catch" cause you aren't feeding the boxes through the taping machine fast enough, or when I say "just go do-----, I got this." I'm sorry that it is taking a woman to do a "mans job", and that you don't like it.......
Please please forgive me, i don't know what I was thinking.

to my boss:
Yes we all know first shift is lazy, yes, we all know we do both more than half their quota and ours, I am sorry you feel the need to make side bets with the other supervisors because you know we kick but, even though some of us don't like each other, you know that we can kick out over 20 pallets of product, And that you feel the need to lie to us to get us to stay late to win your little wagers........
Please forgive, I don't know what I was thinking to think that there might be a few more honest people in this world.......

*whew* that felt good, off to bed since I've only gotten an hour sleep and my guy is comin over to take me to the bank in like an hour, lol.

**ArchAngel Gabriel** · 09-14-2006, 06:55 PM

Dear SIR,
I am sorry i was good enough when there was only 2 then three then 4. Now there are more I have suddenly become extraneous. For this I wish to thank you for you have just served to deepen my belief that almost everyone on the face of this planet must think I truly am not worthy of much. I will return the ball to you asap and go get my own. I really enjoyed having the ball bag in my livingroom all summer. I am truly sorry you never felt the need to even come get it even after you called me to say you were.

and how the hell do you know if i can run around the field or not? I am healing. I definately can catch the damn ball.

Here is a news flash. I AM worth something to someone on the face of this planet... MYSELF. I am worthy so go stuff it where your sun does not shine.

Me, who has busted ass just getting to practice on time.

**sapphire_gurl** · 09-15-2006, 01:59 AM

another one to my boss (as I just found this out)

I am so sorry your gambling problem has led you to treat the people you supervise as freakin track horses, i'm sorry if we don't get things out fast enough for you to win your bets. No wonder you went through 15 people in less than 1 month. Yes your over working us, yes the extra time/money is great, but so is SLEEP and a life outside of work! You should try both sometime. I am sorry if we wanted to leave at 2 am, beside the fact that you made the over time "Mandatory" so you could win your bet, and I'm sorry I didn't stay later because i've only had 1.5 hrs sleep in 24hrs, am messin up, and getting quite witchy....please forgive me, I don't know what I am thinking when I want sleep....

**sylvie** · 09-24-2006, 02:19 PM

to an ex, turned friend, turned not so very...

i am sorry i can't be what you need me to be. when i say that i'm not interested, i really do mean it. being friends doesn't mean with benefits for me, it doesn't mean you have the right to put me down, dictate my life and certainly doesn't mean i'll one day want to rekindle what we had.. please, move on!
i sincerely think you can be wonderful. i sincerely think we could have been good friends.. but after so many attempts with the same outcome, there comes a time when one has to say, please..no more..

life is quiet now, and accept my apologies for not wanting the same things..
but, i choose happiness.. and now i have that..

**OdddGyrl** · 10-20-2006, 05:24 PM

To the Fex Ex Lady with black hair

I am sorry you had to come to work today
I'm sorry I don't know Fed Ex lingo like
PRIORITY AND GROUND AND EXPRESS
I'm sorry I asked questions like
WHEN IS MY PACKAGE GONNA GET THERE

I am sorry you don't get to stand there playing your IPOD all after noon

**RyanCGY** · 10-24-2006, 05:34 AM

To my bands guitar supplier in the US:
Im really sorry I inconvenienced you by requesting you stop sending our guitars via UPS. Each guitar, amp, and stand you send us through UPS entails a 20-30 dollar COD charge per box. I mean, I guess Im an idiot to think paying 30.00-50.00 in shipping per instrument would cover a shipping cost. Yes, it may be for a band, and under an agency name, but that doesnt mean were millionaires. How dare I think that 30-50 bucks would cover a regular mail shipment.

To my therapist:
Im sorry you got into trouble for giving me your personal cell number. Especially when I didnt know it was a personal number and you always call me from THAT number and use that number on every form youve filled out for me regarding treatment and surgeries. Really...its my fault that I called you when you said to call you. How could I have ever forgotten it was MY responsibility to make sure you follow ethical practice.

To the dipshit driving in front of me tonight:
So friggin sorry you decided to stop with no warning or stop sign in front of you. Im really sorry I gave you the finger after you stopped so abruptly that I had to jerk my brakes in order to avoid a collision. I guess I forgot that you make the rules of the road. After all, you really truly are one of Vancouvers finest drivers, arent you? You blind fart.

And last but not least.....
To the earth shaking rap-star who cruises down the block at 3am:
Im sorry I yelled at you to turn your music down tonight. I didnt know you had every right to blare your music in a residential neighborhood at 3am every night and threaten to beat the fuck out of anyone who requested you shut your sonic boom speakers off. I didnt know you were noise-pollution bylaw exempt.

My bad, you tiny-peckered rumble rocket.

**pie** · 10-26-2006, 04:06 PM

Originally Posted by sylvie

to an ex, turned friend, turned not so very...

i am sorry i can't be what you need me to be. when i say that i'm not interested, i really do mean it. being friends doesn't mean with benefits for me, it doesn't mean you have the right to put me down, dictate my life and certainly doesn't mean i'll one day want to rekindle what we had.. please, move on!
i sincerely think you can be wonderful. i sincerely think we could have been good friends.. but after so many attempts with the same outcome, there comes a time when one has to say, please..no more..

life is quiet now, and accept my apologies for not wanting the same things..
but, i choose happiness.. and now i have that..

/////You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to sylvie again.////

Congratulations on your strength and happiness Sylvie

**pie** · 10-27-2006, 02:41 PM

Dear Cuddleme and Femme4u2luv,

I'm very sorry for not contacting you last Saturday to let you know why I didn't show up. You were both so generous to include me, contact me.

Cuddleme, your IM's meant a lot to me. As I walked around on slut night I pulled several people aside to ask if they knew cuddleme, if they could point her out. I kept thinking 'purple'...why can't I find her? It's been weighing on me every hour of every day. I've been at a loss for what to say or do now.

My inability to face myself or anyone else on Saturday cost me dearly. I had hoped to meet you both. I'm so very sorry.

**Charming Texan** · 10-30-2006, 08:04 PM

Dear Trick or Treaters -
I'm sorry that I will be unable to answer the door tomorrow night as I won't be home. I know you may be quite disappointed, but I will be out stealing all of your candy. That's right, you've got some competition this year. So put on your sketchers and skip a bit faster this year while running door to door, or you'll be left with only sugar packets and a can of cream corn in your jack-o-lanterns.

I'll leave you the waxy candy corn. yuck.

Your adorable nightmare come true,

Me

PS - I don't even like candy, but evil is fun.

**sphynxcat** · 10-30-2006, 08:08 PM

Originally Posted by Charming Texan

PS - I don't even like candy, but evil is fun.

for some it seems

**Charming Texan** · 10-30-2006, 09:05 PM

Originally Posted by sphynxcat

for some it seems

Hudson, I don't believe we have met before, but by all means if you have something to say please pm me.

Otherwise leave your snarky trash out of my thread.

Kellen

**ForeverFemme** · 11-15-2006, 10:10 AM

lol i love this thread...Good one to use after i get off work sometimes....

I'm sorry to the man who came through my line (im a cashier) And gets mad when,He has $200 worth of stuff, and then only had $50.. Yes It's my fault that You cant add up enough to know your $150 OFF... And, it's my fault you didnt have enough money...

Yes, I should have let you just leave with all the food,and not made you pay,So that you can steal it, and I can get fired for you... What was I thinking!!!

**GirlSoprano** · 11-28-2006, 06:09 PM

To the lady in the towel:

I'm sorry I broke the rules by not only bringing my 6-year-old daughter into the locker room, but *gasp* letting her put on her bathing suit and sit in the steam room with her similarly clothed mother for 5 whole minutes when NO ONE ELSE was around. To answer your questions: Yes, I know it's breaking the rules. No, it is not my intention to raise her to think that it's ok to break rules. No, it is not my intention to bring in other children, or set an example that it's ok for other mothers to take their children in the steam room. No, I would not have a problem if other mothers brought their children in now that I've set this ugly precedent, and pretty soon the steam room was overrun with first graders in speedos. And no, it's not ok to teach by example that rule breaking is ok....

.......oh wait. Sorry, in the heat of having an angry naked woman corner me between a scale and "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" on the TV behind us, I forgot: I'm an anarchist who does indeed intend to teach my daughter that rules such as "no children in the steam room" is a perfectly breakable rule in the case of an empty steam room and a cold wet child. I also am a health club snob, and seeing as this one does not eeeeven make it onto my list of "clubs in which to follow the rules," I had some trouble following along with your logic. Alas.....if you hadn't been so utterly compelling, standing there round and red and furious, all that passion focused on no one but me, I'd have had to hiss at you to be quiet and go away much sooner than I did, but I was so enjoying the scenery.

Seriously though.......how is the tragedy of my daughter's unencumbered life, your problem???

And why oh why did the well appointed woman in nothing but a towel who took such a passionate interest in me in the locker room this evening, have to be psychotic?

**hunger** · 11-28-2006, 06:48 PM

To June2Pence, I am sorry I put an annoying song in the thread. Please do forgive me? Can I come back and be a

again? I promise I won't do it again. Sincerely Hunger

You know I love you J2P

**lissa** · 05-21-2008, 06:52 AM

Coworker... Please except my apologies for getting cranky with you...

I completly understand that, Yes, my Chiefs Knife is the perfect box cutter.. It is much better than the box cutter that was sitting two inches from my daily honed knife.

I don't know what got into me.. Yes, I should have secured it in a better location.. I mean how were you to know that a knife in a sheath with the words BAKERS USE ONLY written on the sheath, inside the drawer at the bakers table wasn't really intended to cut open boxes...

I so didn't know that box cutters and knifes were interchangeable.. Tommorrow when I am attempting to thin slice Tomatos and chop Spinage with the box cutter, it should be a piece of cake..

Thanks for the eductions.. I must have be out of class that day..

**Eva femme** · 05-21-2008, 07:08 AM

My apologies I broke the flatscreen television in the here femme femme femme thread

Eva

**sapphire_gurl** · 05-26-2008, 01:54 PM

to my ex:

I am sorry I stuck my head in the ground and ignored all the signs you were leaving. I'm sorry I ignored all the lieing. I am sorry I didn't have the balls or the spine to just walk away. I'm sorry I thought You had changed. I'm sorry she had to be put in the middle of it, and I'm even more sorry they had to be put in the middle of it.
I'm sorry that I can apparently turn my emotions on and off, and am chosing to hurt. I am sorry I want to be friends. I am sorry this didn't work out.

I am sorry I am finally standing up for myself. I am sorry I am growing a spine. I am sorry YOU didn't have the balls to tell me the truth about your feelings. I'm sorry YOU didn't have the spine to walk away from me.

I'm sorry I haven't cried since that day, close, but not again.
I'm sorry I refuse to be walked on anymore, I'm sorry I refuse to allow myself to be lied to.

I'm NOT sorry this all happened. If It hadn't I wouldn't be where I am, I wouldn't know what I know. I wouldn't have figured things out about myself I now know.

I just hope I have the strength to keep moving forward. I hope I have the strength to stay your friend. I hope I have the strength to keep the tears at bay.

**ShyNorling** · 06-03-2008, 07:36 AM

To my customers:

I am sorry that you've clearly never heard of a rather common practice called "balancing your checkbook". And I'm so deeply sorry that I forgot that of our MILLIONS of customers you are the only one that matters. It's my fault I wasn't spending every minute of my workday watching your account so it wouldn't overdraft. My mistake, I thought that was your job.

And I'm sorry I refuse to reverse all the fees you ran up, and I'm definitely sorry that I called you on your lie when you told me that you've never ever done this before. We keep track of that, and you have done this a lot. And I'm sorry for making you even angrier when I sounded a little frustrated at being called all those foul names because you have the same emotional capacity for self-responsibility as a slug. You are right, I was totally out of line to tell you that I don't deserve to be spoken to that way.

My apologies for not bending over and taking your abuse. I'm not paid enough. Perhaps you'd like to speak with my supervisor about giving me an unrealistically huge raise so that I can think about how much I love taking your crap all day.

To my Mother:

I'm sorry that I made it my goal in life to disrupt your television shows when I was a teenager. It was foolish of me to think you might actually want to know where I had been until 11pm on a school night. You are totally right, it was just a subversive desire to make you as miserable as possible.

I'm sorry that I'm sooooooooo lazy that I'm gay. I realize now that it is just so much easier to be a dyke, what with all the other lesbians just walking around wearing little cardboard signs to make themselves more visible to my little baby dyke self. I guess I never realized how hard it is, at least for you apparently, to be heterosexual. It must suck to have people attempt to keep you from finding happiness just because of your sexuality. That's why I chose to be gay...it's really just so much easier.

I'm also really, really sorry that I care what you think of me. No, really I am. I'm sorry that I let your opinion matter to me and that I can't cut the cord, no matter how hard I try. Sorry I'm making us both miserable with my presence.

But more than anything, I'm so sorry that I refuse to live my life in the closet. That I told Grandma, and your sister, that I'm a lesbian. I'm sorry that they both took it better than you ever have. I'm sorry that the only negative reaction I have EVER faced when coming out was from you. I'm sorry that, when I had a girlfriend, I enjoyed talking about her with my Father and my brother and that you considered that to be "rubbing it in your face".

I'm sorry you are a closet homophobe.

**sapphire_gurl** · 06-04-2008, 08:52 PM

I'm sorry I'm human, and I'm sorry I make human mistakes such as falling in love, and being hurt when you leave or lie. I'm sorry I love her, I'm sorry I fell in love with her.

I'm sorry that I'm human and have emotions that do not work like a light switch.

**blush** · 06-08-2008, 10:52 AM

I'm sorry I kept the toy and won't give it back.

blush
played with it more than you did

**Tommi** · 06-08-2008, 12:08 PM

I'm sorry to that girl for not putting the whole deck out. Laying them out face up would have offered the whole King of Hearts instead shuffling it to the bottom of the pile at times, out of reach and in the dark. Know I am sorry, You better you better you bet..

**sapphire_gurl** · 06-16-2008, 04:40 PM

I must apologize, for I will no longer apologize for protecting myself, my finances, my future, or my family.

**butchphoenix** · 07-26-2009, 01:55 PM

Im sorry that you thought you I wasn't strong enought to recover. Im sorry that the only way to get your drug fix was to whore me out without my knowledge. Im sorry you kept me trapped in that room like an animal. Im so sorry that you had to dress me up as a femme (even though I am butch) so that more men would look at me. Im really fucking sorry that when you brought those men into MY dorm room and I tried to flee they raped me. Im very sorry that you sold all my text books and school stuff to get a fix. Im sorry that If I didnt move down the stairs fast enough you would just put your foot on my back and kick me down. Im sorry that the one guy who decided not to rape me, took your drugs and you beat me unconscouse. Im sorry you encouraged my eating disorder because you said guys won't sleep with a fat piece of shit. Im sorry that you had to come up with excuses for why I was covered in black and blue marks. Im sorry no one questioned it. Im sorry that you had to be the first female relationship I ever had. Im sorry you didn't die of an overdose.

**ArchAngel Gabriel** · 08-09-2009, 06:44 PM

i am sorry i let down my guard; to let myself be so foolish enough to think someone would actually care enough to want to be in a relationship.

**sapphire_gurl** · 08-21-2009, 09:03 PM

I am so sorry i fell into your charms. I am so sorry, i played into your pointing out her flaws, and playing the come here no go away games. I am so sorry...that now....now that i've been able to see you in the "after" of our relationship....that i just don't care about you anymore...

I am so sorry......i let you ruin everything for me. I am sorry i let you take it all...handed it to you on a silver platter while you stood there with hungry wolves eyes knawing on my struggle between you and her.
I am so sorry i ran your foot over. I only hope it caused 1/4 of the pain you have caused me and my family.
I am so sorry i finally told you no. I am so sorry i finally had the spine to say "fuck you"....I am so sorry it didn't happen sooner...

and non sarcastically to her: I am so sorry for having fallen into hys games. I am so sorry for stopping trying...I am sorry for everything and if i could take it all back i would....

**Golden Heart** · 08-22-2009, 02:25 PM

I am sorry I am still giving this any thought but I figured, what the hell?

I am sorry you weren't who I thought you were. I am sorry that I didn't leave when I should've. I am sorry I ever believed you.

There, that's it. Never giving that another thought, lol!!! LET'S PARTY!!!

**sheisoutdoors** · 08-29-2009, 08:17 PM

To the big-bad Bluto lookin' M*F*'er who hid behind the door (seriously!) rather than open the door.....

I'm so0o sorrreee I & my itty bitty wheelchair caused you to cower behind the door and eventually sprint across the parking lot. Thank-you for your gentlemanly behavior you truly do make all other Bluto bad ass men look like Mary Friggin' Poppins.

**sapphire_gurl** · 01-03-2012, 10:54 PM

My deepest apologies to the people that have to deal with us lowly fast food workers. I know its so difficult to talk to the little box so pease, yell as loudly as possible. Our ears are already bleeding from the previous 100 others that thought we were sticking our head out the window.

If you yell it will also get your food faster. Plus we are open only for YOU. That's right! You are our single most important person in the world! Why, we don't known what we'd do without your generous $5.45 a week!

And of course its my personal fault prices went up and se discontined your fave item! Please be sure to rant and rave at me!

While you do. Please enjoy this complimentary food item of your choice we've made SPECIALLY for YOU!

Sincerly,
Always remember your cashier is the last one that handles your food!

**genghisfawn** · 01-07-2012, 01:12 AM

To everyone without snow tires... I am so freaking bloody sorry that I have some. If you want to see my sad, sorry little red-lipped pout at how sorry I (sorry) am, try getting in the right-hand lane so I don't have to drag ass behind you at 70km/h on a 90 stretch of road, and I'll flash that "Hey, so sorry, but look at my pretty tires!" face at you.

Sigh.

To the people at the end of a checkout queue who immediately dart over when a cashier opens another till and smartly shouts, "Next person in line, please!"... I'm so awfully sorry to trample on your sense of importance, but they don't mean you. You're not the next person - you're the last person. Simple language devices for ordering and numbering are learned in preschool years. Go eat a crayon and wait your turn.

To anyone who leaves the house in pajamas... I'm sorry you're feeling so darn good and sick that you can't pull on a pair of trousers. Last time I did it was a day after my surgery at a drugstore for milk 'n meds, and I still felt a fool through my drugged, swollen haze. If your pajamas are nicer than your clothes, I pity your mother because she probably still does your laundry and thinks the exact same way I do.

To anyone who gets good service and doesn't tip... I'm sorry you feel so entitled! What a hard life it must be! Go straight to Hell, do not pass Go, do not collect $200 without leaving at least $30 for the person who's giving you your brimstone robe and room key.

To airport security... I'm sorry I forgot to take the belt off. But really... the buckle is at my waist... you can get your hand out of my cleavage now.

Felt. So. Good.

Thank you. <3

**Terri90069** · 02-16-2012, 01:15 PM

Originally Posted by genghisfawn

to everyone without snow tires... I am so freaking bloody sorry that i have some. If you want to see my sad, sorry little red-lipped pout at how sorry i (sorry) am, try getting in the right-hand lane so i don't have to drag ass behind you at 70km/h on a 90 stretch of road, and i'll flash that "hey, so sorry, but look at my pretty tires!" face at you.

Sigh.

To the people at the end of a checkout queue who immediately dart over when a cashier opens another till and smartly shouts, "next person in line, please!"... I'm so awfully sorry to trample on your sense of importance, but they don't mean you. You're not the next person - you're the last person. Simple language devices for ordering and numbering are learned in preschool years. Go eat a crayon and wait your turn.

To anyone who leaves the house in pajamas... I'm sorry you're feeling so darn good and sick that you can't pull on a pair of trousers. Last time i did it was a day after my surgery at a drugstore for milk 'n meds, and i still felt a fool through my drugged, swollen haze. If your pajamas are nicer than your clothes, i pity your mother because she probably still does your laundry and thinks the exact same way i do.

To anyone who gets good service and doesn't tip... I'm sorry you feel so entitled! What a hard life it must be! Go straight to hell, do not pass go, do not collect $200 without leaving at least $30 for the person who's giving you your brimstone robe and room key.

To airport security... I'm sorry i forgot to take the belt off. But really... The buckle is at my waist... You can get your hand out of my cleavage now.

Felt. So. Good.

Thank you. <3

lmao!!!