Femme Daddy's

[BCtboi]

Ok...I was in a chatroom the other day, and I caught the tail end of a conversation about Femme Daddy's. Is there really such a thing? I've never even met a Femme Top, let alone a Femme Daddy, but that's just My experience. Maybe they are out there...you tell Me.

BC

[caroline_8]

Hmmm...BC...good question.

Wouldn't a Femme Daddy be a Mommy? I know there is Mommy/boi dynamic just like there is a Daddy/girl dynamic.

*waiting to see who knows

[BCtboi]

yay...someone replied! yea, i heard of the Mommy/boi thing too *drools* hehe. sounds like fun but i don't really know enough about it.

BC

[sassyhfem]

I am always willing to learn.
Sassy

[LadyHilary]

Originally posted by BCtboi
Is there really such a thing? I've never even met a Femme Top, let alone a Femme Daddy
BC

Oh we are out here!

I have been a Femme Top for 10+ years out here in San Francisco- so BC--- come out and vist and let us open your eyes!

As for being a Daddy--- the first few times I 'played' with the persona it was very 'male' ID'd... and just did not fit for me.... so I left it alone for a couple of years....

Then..... well... my darling... a wonderful handsome, sexy, butch who personally ID's as a girl - not boi... and she had been my submissive for some time ....then she said it.... "Daddy" and it was all GOOD! wow-- who knew!

BTW--- I was San Francisco Dyke Mommy 1995--- before there was Dyke Diva--- and on rare appearance with boi's who are young and inocent... I do play Mommy.


But as for being a Femme Daddy--- it is the most natural thing I have ever done.

In Grace,

Lady Hilary

[BCtboi]

Sassy, are you flirting with me? =P
BC

[sassyhfem]

Who me?
Not at all...I am just...willing to learn and I enjoyed hearing from Lady Hilary.
When I flirt you'll know it.~wink~
Sassy

[BCtboi]

awww shucks!

BC

[ShadowWolf]

*laughing*

Nice try though BCtboi!

LadyHilary, very nicely put .. Ive known of a Femme Domme who is a Sir, but never heard of a Femme Domme being a Daddy .. so thank you for sharing this with us and letting us know you're out there *smile*

[LadyHilary]

Originally posted by SirShadowWolf

Ive known of a Femme Domme who is a Sir

I have this wonderful other 'Lady' friend and she is a Mommy Sir, and I am a Daddy Ma'am---- and we both use the honorific of 'Lady' ---- all kinds of kinks in the hose of life!

[youngblood]

I've met a few femme mommies.....one butch mommie..... one femme mommie.
one butch daddy who left also knowing the baby girl side of coin.

But I curse or joy the night when I meet a part time baby girl/daddy/ mommie/nurse/teenage/prist/nun/cop/ kinda sorta kinda my type.

But when I go there as a Very butch mommie .....The energy just changes.
Gets 'em ready for scene two when I become Daddy.

Its really endness.
Youngblood

[DsShawnBoi]

Originally posted by LadyHilary
Oh we are out here!
<clipped some good schtuff>

BTW--- I was San Francisco Dyke Mommy 1995--- before there was Dyke Diva--- and on rare appearance with boi's who are young and inocent... I do play Mommy.


But as for being a Femme Daddy--- it is the most natural thing I have ever done.

In Grace,

Lady Hilary

This was beautifully put. Thank you for posting this. Lately people like you have been renewing my faith in the potential and openness of people in the lifestyle

Namaste,
Shawn

[APwrFemme]

Another Feeme Top here.....If I had to say which fits me better, Mommy or Daddy, I'd have to go with Daddy. To be honest, I hadn't really thought about it that much before. For me bdsm isn't something that I analyze too much, I just do what feels right and natural for myself, my partner and the situation.

While I've never named it as such, yes, there is a Daddy side, as well as the Sadist side.....as well as the Domme side.....as well as...well, you get the picture.

[DsShawnBoi]

Originally posted by APwrFemme
Another Feeme Top here.....If I had to say which fits me better, Mommy or Daddy, I'd have to go with Daddy. To be honest, I hadn't really thought about it that much before. For me bdsm isn't something that I analyze too much, I just do what feels right and natural for myself, my partner and the situation.

While I've never named it as such, yes, there is a Daddy side, as well as the Sadist side.....as well as the Domme side.....as well as...well, you get the picture.

Well i had no idea That's interesting to find out about that side of you PwrFemme. And happy Daddy's Day then

I have to brag on my bois later ... not sure where to post such a thread lol but they decided since i've really come into my own as a Daddy this year... and it was my first year as geeker's Daddy... that they would give me a special father's day celebration it was very sweet, profoundly deeply touching.... but i need to go be a good Daddy now and cut patch's hair <much cheaper to have bois who you can just buzz the back of their hair and such, saves on haircuts>

Namaste,
Shawn

[BCtboi]

im so glad that this thread is coming along so well. thank you Lady Hilary and APwrFemme for enlightening us all on this topic. im glad to see that you are out there!

BC

[APwrFemme]

Originally posted by DsShawnBoi
Well i had no idea That's interesting to find out about that side of you PwrFemme. And happy Daddy's Day then

I have to brag on my bois later ... not sure where to post such a thread lol but they decided since i've really come into my own as a Daddy this year... and it was my first year as geeker's Daddy... that they would give me a special father's day celebration it was very sweet, profoundly deeply touching.... but i need to go be a good Daddy now and cut patch's hair <much cheaper to have bois who you can just buzz the back of their hair and such, saves on haircuts>

Namaste,
Shawn

Thank you Shawn, I am indeed a femme with many facets.

So glad to hear that your bois made it such a special day for you. Those are the kinds of things that make it really worth the time and effort

[APwrFemme]

Originally posted by BCtboi
im so glad that this thread is coming along so well. thank you Lady Hilary and APwrFemme for enlightening us all on this topic. im glad to see that you are out there!

BC

You are very welcome BC. I think many people feel that Top and Daddy are exclusively butch. Not long ago on a list I had to explain that being Top really is more a state of mind as opposed to who does what to whom.

The Mommy energy is so different from the Daddy energy, don't ask me to explain that, I don't think I can, it just IS. Mommy simply doesn't work for me, god knows, I get enough of that in my regular life.

[BCtboi]

Not long ago on a list I had to explain that being Top really is more a state of mind as opposed to who does what to whom.

Well, thank You again! im all about knocking down these butch/femme/top/bottom stereotypes. some of them are ridiculous, at best. you are who you are, not a freakin label people!

BC

[DsShawnBoi]

Originally posted by APwrFemme

The Mommy energy is so different from the Daddy energy, don't ask me to explain that, I don't think I can, it just IS. Mommy simply doesn't work for me, god knows, I get enough of that in my regular life.

I have been asked many times to explain the difference between Mommy and Daddy energy... and it is very difficult. Some "Daddies" have a butch mommy energy to me and some "Mommies" have a Femme Daddy energy to me *chuckles*

But there is definitly a Daddy energy that i feel from some people. I think that it has something to do with that "wait till yer father gets home" feeling... when Sir says jump, i jump and if she wanted me to know how high she'd tell me. LOL But i don't know ... there's this Daddy energy she puts off sometimes and her body is most definitly femme. I wouldn't call her a Femme Daddy, just a Daddy in work drag sometimes, and even then it ain't dresses lol. Then there's a FemmeDaddy i know who definitly has a Daddy energy even tho she's DEFINITLY femme inside and out lol. And then there's someone like me... who defies most labels <hence my yahoo id> just by existing i break mosta the rules lol. OOPS I hear the doorbell.

Anyone care to try to explain this one?

Namaste,
Shawn

[Eve]

Hmmm ... sometimes I'm Mommy. Sometimes I'm princess. Sometimes I'm Mistress. Sometimes I'm Dadddy (femme Daddy even). I think I'm just a big ol' flexual switch.

There's an interesting thread on Mommy/boi play that has some discussion of femme daddy vs. femme mommy. Check it out.

Femme Bitch Switch and proud of it,

~Eve

[DsShawnBoi]

Originally posted by Eve
Hmmm ... sometimes I'm Mommy. Sometimes I'm princess. Sometimes I'm Mistress. Sometimes I'm Dadddy (femme Daddy even). I think I'm just a big ol' flexual switch.

There's an interesting thread on Mommy/boi play that has some discussion of femme daddy vs. femme mommy. Check it out.

Femme Bitch Switch and proud of it,

~Eve

cool how would i find the thread you mentioned?

[svairini]

hi, Shawn. click here: Mommy/boi thread

fyi, you can always go to "Search Forums" at the top of your screen and put in a keyword like Mommy/boi.

[BCtboi]

another question from this uninformed boi.
is the Mommy dynamic a more feminine/nurturing variation of the Daddy/boi thing, or am i completely off base here?

BC

[Eve]

Hey Shawn,

I bumped the thread for you. That question and others are pondered in the Mommy/boi thread.

Smooches,

~Eve (Summer's Eve from DBT even ... hi! hello!)

[Midori]

Greetings!

I've just signed up for this site... and here I go with my first post.

It's my first time... be gentle...
LOL!

(hmmm... I suppose I ought to post an introduction somewhere... Is there an intro thread for leather women or should I introduce myself in the general intro section?)

anyhow, Femme Daddy... yes, I have that space within me.
My previous relationship was very much based upon the philosophy and dynamics of Femme Daddy & Boi.

I am not a mommy. I have, only a few times, with one lover, explored the role play of 'mommy' but that energy does not permiate into the relationship dynamics, where as my Daddy space does.

A bit about myself. I'm a femme. A high femme. I recognize the femme state as a gender construct, a craft and an artform. I suppose this perspective is rather natural for me as my god-father was a well regarded kabuki actor, and as you know, all female roles are portrayed with etherialy feminine expertness by the Japanese men. I was raised by my mother and maternal grand mother. My grandmother was a steel spined butch woman and mother is a super high femme with a razor blade wit. Growing up, I experienced by every day example that gender, sex and leadership style were three separate issues, not conjoined in any specific pattern. I realize that it's common socialization in the greater world to assume linkage between sex (XX or XY as is most commonly accepted), gender (Feminine, Masculine, Androgenous, etc.) and Leadership style (Dominant/Submissive, Nurturing, Coaching, Spartan, Autocratic, Consensus Builder, etc.) Thus one of the common misperception is that an XX must automatically be feminine and thus is going to be either submissive or nurturing-leader, aka Mommy.

Obviously there are people like that, but the combination does not always have to be that way.

Oh, btw, I'm also a top and a dominant masochist on a rare occassion. and on some precious occassion a spoiled, rotton daddi's girl. But I am most comfortable as a top, dominant and sadist.

My (ex) boi and I had a Femme Daddy/Boi relationship. She called me Ma'am, as I am most comfortable with that from my military days and time with the leathermen. Some people can call me Sir and I find that very arousing. Especially from the leather fags and old NCO's.

I have a distinct leadership style that makes me decidedly not a Mommy. I am not particularly nurturing. I love and care and foster but I am not a maternal style care taker. God knows, there have been times that I wished I could call upon that, but it's just not in me.
Here's sort of how it goes.... If you wish to follow, I'm going that way, follow me. If then I want you to continue to follow me, I will give you the tools so that you may learn to follow me. If you fall, I will not pick you up and cuddle you. I will wait until you get up. I want you to grow and become stronger so I will be patient and wait for you to get up. I will enjoy seeing you grow and glow. I am also not domestically oriented, so many of the activities around nurturing that's mommy oriented does not suit me. As a unit I want my boi and I to move better through the world than we would as individuals. When we do not function better as a unit than as individuals, the relationship is in trouble. I have very military style construct of the relationship with my sub, where I see myself as the Captain and my sub as my first seargent. I am not adversarial in my D/s. I also do not see the sub as helpless. They have their own areas of responsibilities and standards that I know they work best at.

For all my D/s and leadership ideals, I am also a high femme who is utterly comfortable with being high femme. Afterall, I maintained a high femme state as I was in the Army. I always wore the highest heels with my dress uniform that regulation would allow... and lingerie that they didn't allow, but who was going to see it except those who enjoy them on me?

A year or two ago, I participated and helped to put together a panel on Daddy's at San Francisco's women's SM club, The Exiles. I was one of the panelists along with Lou Duff, Sal and Skeeter. I sat up before the class in high heels and a green silk brocade corset dress, and openly identified as a Femme Daddy. I am aware that it was quite controversial and many thought (and still do) that I had no business being up there. Alas, no one actually asked me much questions on that.. which was sad as an opportunity for discussion and sharing was lost... but in the end, it is about self identification.. and, goodness knows, all of us on this site have had to cope with issues of self-identification not matching social expectations.

I hope my perspective may help?

Midori

[DsShawnBoi]

Midori,

Welcome to b-f.com I'm rather new here myself. Your post expressed EXACTLY what i feel about Femme Daddies vs Mommies... thank you for putting that into words. You often do that SO well

It's truly sad that they didn't take the opportunity to ask more questions. I know that when Sir took me to the Black Rose 2002 dungeon in her corset and thigh high spiked heals people were expecting to see a FemmeDom play. I know that She did it primarily to mindfuck me because I'd just spent several hours in my hotel room getting our first ever Daddy/boi play. *chuckles* and then she made me turn around and lace her into this ultra femme gear.

Yet when things didn't go as planned at our arrival <the bottoms She'd come out east with weren't there with the toy bag as they were supposed to be> She leaned down tugging my face up to hers and said that she didn't want this to end and got the feeling neither did I..so rather than send me off to beat my boi she thought she'd get some more time playing with me if i'd agree. Happily I sent my boi back to our room for our toybag and followed Sir over to a plush chair that i instantly thought of as a "Daddy chair" She flopped into it in the way Sir is want to do... with such abandon and fluidity of motion.... and motioned me over to park my 'chair in front of her. She leaned forward grabbing my wheels and pulling my 'chair between her spread legs. I could feel myself instantly slipping back into that deep space we'd created and in that moment everything about her screamed out to me Sir. She explained that she would be using her leather thigh high boots to press agianst me and that i could push them away or pull them to me with whatever pressure i wanted. If I needed to fight...fight. I knew that so long as i gave my full abandon, Sir would be pleased and that's all I had to do was be real and utterly open.

The scene which followed may have looked like 2 femmes playing together. I wasn't particularly dressed femme, but i still had the long purple hair cut that's seen on my website, and most people associated that haircut with being femme. Sir however called me boy. We had called eachother by our first names for 2 years... but that night had come to an understanding that each saw something kindred in the other and our inner gayboys wanted to get freaky and play hard. So while Sir in her luscious curvy self with her flowing red hair dragged her spiked heels around my body down my neck... across my face and even at one point back and forth on the lense of my glasses..... And even tho i had said
"yes Ma'am" at one point making me gasp in shock and her chuckle all pleased with herself at her big ol mind fuck... really truly i can't say enough that night how much i felt a Daddy energy from her.

When some idiot bumped into me cuz he was so intrigued that he got too close, she asked him what the fuck he thought he was doing close enough to touch her submissive. And suddenly i realized a crowd around us as it backed away collectively a huge step. I felt safe and protected and knew Sir would not harm me... or allow another to tho She would certainly hurt me. But i did NOT feel molly coddled or any mommy energy in how she handled things there at all.

And as the scene ended She pulled me into a hug and whispered into my hair that she most certainly hoped that the boy would be visiting San Diego soon.... but there was no long term snuggling and soft petting of aftercare. There was exactly what we'd negotiated. A pat on the head, a few extra hugs thrown in cuz of the depth and power of the exchange ... but no clinging allowed or wanted. She smacked my face hard and reminded me it was time for me to go focus on my boi and take back my responsibilities as a top that i'd lain at her feet for the last several hours till i ALMOST got mad and felt myself struggling not to ask her to stop smackin my face so i could go already LOL. "There's the Daddy" she said and pushed my chair back from her just a bit to get me started on my way

Now i'm not saying that no Daddies do aftercare... or that all MOmmy types molly coddle. But to me... it was an incredible night of Daddy/boy energy and i was grateful she let my inner gayboy come out to play.

I remember very clearly someone asking Sir if she was a pro Domme.... saying what an incredibly gorgeous feminine woman she was... etc. But to me... all i saw was leatherman from the moment I got off the tram and looked into Her eyes Halloween night, to the moment I snuggled into her arms and whispered see you soon heading off to catch my plane. To me... Daddy is about the heart... the energy... the soul. Not about the clothes one wears.

Namaste,
Shawn

[flfemme]

Hi Midori!!!!

You forgot to add a few things to that list of yours...

"Oh, btw, I'm also a top and a dominant masochist on a rare occassion. and on some precious occassion a spoiled, rotton daddi's girl. But I am most comfortable as a top, dominant and sadist. "

Sexy as all Hell, really fun with ropes , and getting to be a down right good sailor from what Peggy aka O says.

See you soon!
flfemme, Lis

[APwrFemme]

Originally posted by DsShawnBoi
To me... Daddy is about the heart... the energy... the soul. Not about the clothes one wears.

Shawn, thanks for sharing your experience.

The phrase I've captioned above, is very powerful. It's similar to what I tell people (usually vanilla) who have a hard time understanding a Femme Top. Some have a hard time understanding that Top does not have a thing to do with who inserts what into whom.

Midori
How wonderful to see you again! Always a pleasure and a learning experience.

APF (technically a former Mobster but forever one in my soul)

[APwrFemme]

Originally posted by flfemme
Sexy as all Hell, really fun with ropes ,

Amen Sister!

[sarafemme]

Midori,

I just wanted to say it's a pleasure to have you here.

And to all -- this thread is wonderful. I don't believe I have a molecule of Daddy energy in me, but I am enjoying reading about it.

Sara
slightly starstruck femme domme in North Carolina

[svairini]

(Wow... a celebrity among us.)

*gazes in quiet awe at Midori ... trying not to be rude & stare, or drool, or otherwise embarrass myself ...

[DsShawnBoi]

Originally posted by sarafemme
Midori,

I just wanted to say it's a pleasure to have you here.

And to all -- this thread is wonderful. I don't believe I have a molecule of Daddy energy in me, but I am enjoying reading about it.

I do apprecciate this post too. I wjust got home from blackin boots at the bar and afterwards my friends convincede me to drink... the bartender was shocked cuz normally i'll have a bunch of cokes and after blacking boots a beer. But tonight i had a man whose jacket i'd restored thank me by gifting me with a paddle/slapper thing he'd made for me which is incredibly beautiful, and a top friend came out who i wasn't expcting so i asked if she would please break my new paddle in on my ass. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM FEMME WITH A VENGANCE LOL. My ass hurts so good and i think i'll have welts for days Well... nah not on my bod. *snaps* I wasn't seein a lot of boots so had a long island iced tea a coke and a bear.... LOL funny typo i meant a beer... but i did black boots for a bear of a gay man....does that count? *grin*

ANYWAY this post helped me cuz my friend was telling me she is interested in exploring Daddyboy energy but isn't sure if she's a Daddy or what. I told her that she's not exactly a Femmie Domme, and she's not a Stone Butch Daddy ... but to me she's more of a Femme Daddy. She seemed to like that

THanks for startin a great thread whoever started this gets kudos

[SueGreenberg]

Hi all,

Great thread...i usually id as Femme Domme but have found myself bottoming (not submitting) to butches only. So now that I am exploring this arena of bottoming I have questions about the Daddy/lil girl interaction.

DsShawnboi: from your description of your scene it sounds as though I have been engaging in Daddy/lil girl play without realizing it. At times I am very very strict and tough in my actions and my tone of voice. I utilize that aspect of me sometimes when in very formal training of a submissive. Very interesting to hear your story. Thank you.

Does this Daddy/lil girl interaction have anything to do with age play or infantilism? I have engaged in both and found it not to be my kink at all and so am having trouble with it. I don't understand the mommy/boi thing either. I am a mom in real life to my daughter only. What do the two peoplewho are engaging in this play receive from it? What are the emotions that are evoked?

Loving this continued exploration of BDSM.

Sue

[DsShawnBoi]

Originally posted by SueGreenberg ]Does this Daddy/lil girl interaction have anything to do with age play or infantilism? I have engaged in both and found it not to be my kink at all and so am having trouble with it. I don't understand the mommy/boi thing either. I am a mom in real life to my daughter only. What do the two peoplewho are engaging in this play receive from it? What are the emotions that are evoked?

Loving this continued exploration of BDSM.

Sue [/b]

Daddy/girl, Daddy/boy, Mommy/girl, Mommy/boy does not necessarily mean ageplay. I *am* into ageplay. But not all the people i play with are. There are times when i will play with a leather Daddy who is totally NOT into ageplay and that's fine with me. I know several couples who are into Daddy/boi play and it is not about someone acting like a young child. There is a loving caring partner involved and often a more playful young at heart partner... so i suppose that it depends what one considers to be ageplay.

I know that Sir doesn't do ageplay with me when we play... but i definitly feel like i did when i was young. Except now i'm old enough to know people as kinky as me and do something about how i feel *grin* I respect her highly and she takes me places i've never gone before ... sort of a guide in part of my leather journey The guide of those steps in that moment. That is a beautiful and powerful thing. So when Sir has in the past chosen to take time with me and play with me, or let me sit at her feet and talk and listen and shine her shoes... those are times that i have grown to be more of the person i now enjoy being. So in those ways it is Daddy/boy play to me.

This makes me think of so many other things we could be discussing about this topic... but the thread was actually about Femme Daddies i think i'm straying off topic here, my apologies...perhaps we should start a new thread about Leather Daddy dynamics in general?

Namaste,
Shawn

[Transcender]

I am soooooo happy for this thread and the discussion we are having here.

Midori, *in awe* so glad to see you here! I signed up for the newsletter on your site.

Jen/Transcender (will switch for the right one)

[spiderlily]

Aren't we the ones who questioned gender identity roles in the first place?

I'm not at all surprised to meet fem tops, boi bottoms, butch subs, whatever in this community. When I was 19, I said "F U "
to the role straight society offered me, and I've been doing whatever I wanted ever since.

And, even though I've sometimes struggled with ageplay, transitioning, Daddy/Mommy stuff, I've always maintained that we all have the right to be who we are and supported all of us to check it all out.

Me, I'm a femDomdyketop. And I'm a heavy bottom when I want to be. Those who wish to give me an honorific call me Sir. It's WAY different from Maam. I'm a passing fem, so people in grocery stores call me Maam. Mommy is WAY different from Daddy. The power dynamic of the roles/archetypes are way different.

I did have a hard time with wanting to be a Sir and a Master, cuz female-identified words always seem to be getting the short end of the stick. I'm grateful to my femme sisters who own those words in a big power way. (And, people, I have met some pretty evil mommies in this scene. )

But when I'm in a short skirt or a corset and being called sir or having my cock sucked or looking down into the eyes of a strong butch, I know I'm in my place. We each need to support each other to find that home place, and to move into the next place when it's time for us to change or grow.

The Master thing: Well, 'mistress' always sounded like a kept woman to me, (not necessarily a bad thing), and 'master' always sounded like someone who'd mastered something. So if I've taken a woman down in a masterful way, and she honors me with that title, it seems there is no higher compliment. To another woman, 'lady' 'queen' or 'mistress' might be the words.

So, yes, there are fem/Femme Daddies just as much as there are female Daddies and female butches, and girly bois and boyish girls and adults with Daddies and daddies who are kids, and things they haven't even invented yet, but we will pretty soon.

Leave it to us. We'll come up with something new. Cuz we already decided that the heterosexual missionary position was not even close to enough to express OUR sexuality.



Thanks for all the good comments.

[youngstud]

yeah, and i've noticed that the bulk of femmes who tend to use the honorifics of Sir, Master... tend to be high femmes. and i think that the male titles may imply more of a physically sadistic role as well as domination. Mommies can be pretty downright cruel, too, i can imagine, but it parallels to Daddies in that "Mommy knows best/Daddy knows best" caring aspect of things....they can be physically gentle, they can be physically rough yet have good mental intentions.

i've heard from some femmes how Ma'am or Miss is insulting and offending to them, because they say, "oh NO, i am far too much of a sadist (and then i notice a lot of those say SAY-dist) for a female-titled honorific." they tend to get off on the idea of pure pain infliction, not the "Mommy knows best" loving Dominant sort of thing, although if they're of good quality, they would in reality obviously have care and respect for their sub or bottom.

that's just been my own personal observations and experiences though.

i've always seen the title Mistress as....well....something that's very high-maintenance. something that is perhaps a bit over the top, more high maintenance than Lady. not just owning someone, but actually owning multiple people. i never thought about the term Master as someone actually Mastering something although i guess it makes sense...i always thought of the term Master in terms of a very unspoken, subtle sort of ownership.

one term i cannot wrap my head around at all is "Lord," which i think is more often used within the heterosexual community, but whichever way works best for the consenting parties is fine.

-ys

[DsShawnBoi]

My first official owner <i'm teased by a current top that my first love was my first owner and my first Mistress was the 2nd> but my first offical time i had a Mistress/Mommy she was a high femme kick ass chick who could take down men twice her size. She was trained in martial arts in South Africa from about 2 1/2, knew how ta make a bomb which personally i don't think anyone should know but hey... she did... and could fix her motorcycle then ride it to school where she did amazingly creative things then over to the harley club where she was the only woman there who wasn't on the BACK of a bike. And she was powerful. She taught me that feminine doesn't mean froo froo wimpy chick and i'm proud to know she owned me even if we are no longer together. She taught me to embrace my inner woman and know she was strong. But she couldn't handle my inner boy and eventually we parted ways because of distance, and so that i could grow in whatever direction was natural rather than being force feminized.

So when people say that Ma'am isn't as powerful or Sir is scarier i say bull shit. Sadists are sadists and titles are whatever you or we make of them. No offence to those who claim the titles of femme daddies... i like you all very much *grins* I'm just sayin lets not forget that one doesn't have to be a Daddy to be one kick ass witch on wheels

Namaste,
Shawn
<Daddy to 2, boy to the special ones>

[LadyHilary]

Originally posted by youngstud
yeah, and i've noticed that the bulk of femmes who tend to use the honorifics of Sir, Master... tend to be high femmes.

i've heard from some femmes how Ma'am or Miss is insulting and offending to them,

i've always seen the title Mistress as....well....something that's very high-maintenance. something that is perhaps a bit over the top, more high maintenance than Lady. not just owning someone, but actually owning multiple people. i never thought about the term Master as someone actually Mastering something although i guess it makes sense...i always thought of the term Master in terms of a very unspoken, subtle sort of ownership.


-ys

One of my most favorite and least favorite things about our current community is the diversity of meaning of everything!

When people look at me they see High Femme- but when they get to know me, they see the Daddy-

For along time I considered my self a 'stone femme' in the old fashioned way of 'stone'- not the current version. And in this place is where my most visible persona of The Lady developed, different than a Mistress, and not a Master yet. This was a time that I was just learning about getting fucked and keeping my power.

Once I learned about recieving in my Power position things began to fall into place for me as a Top, I more clearly understood who I was becoming- that was 10 years ago.

And in those 10 years, I have come to understand that with the exception of a hot sex scene with a boi, I am not a Mommy- I am a Daddy and all that means to me in my heart. Just a few years ago, I took claim to the word Master and an ungendered description of who I was as an owner of human property and slaves.

I am a far cry from the 20 year old who walked into her first play party back in 1989 flagging left so I could be tough! To my first play partners as a Top, developing into Lady Hilary as a complete person and to now my personal ID is Hard Femme Daddy.

I believe I have rambled enough!

[youngstud]

Originally posted by LadyHilary
One of my most favorite and least favorite things about our current community is the diversity of meaning of everything!

When people look at me they see High Femme- but when they get to know me, they see the Daddy-

good point! i could see how that can ring true. likewise, i could see different parts of other people once i get to know them better as well. however, can i ask if a femme Daddy can be both a high femme and a Daddy?

Originally posted by LadyHilary

I am a far cry from the 20 year old who walked into her first play party back in 1989 flagging left so I could be tough! To my first play partners as a Top, developing into Lady Hilary as a complete person and to now my personal ID is Hard Femme Daddy.

I believe I have rambled enough!

seems like quite a change. over the years i think we learn more about ourselves so we change and we grow into ourselves complete with being able to describe, label, and feel secure in ourselves. i'm not all the way there yet, and i don't expect to be for quite awhile, but it's starting. 20, though...i don't see many folks getting involved at a level like that where they're playing with older people and getting involved in nationally recognized groups when they're that young. a few older players found me when i was 18, so i'm used to people and places that aren't the college crowds. seems to me we're pretty rare.

-ys