• Bevin

      by Published on 12-05-2011 06:04 AM
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      Hi friends and welcome to NATIONAL QUEERFATFEMME.COM GAY SEX WEEK, where each day this week I am going to talk about GAY SEX to increase LGBT presence in the media. Monday I addressed how to find other people to have gay sex with you. Today we’re chatting about how to have better sex.
      I’m calling this GAY SEX WEEK in a satirical way in order to increase the presence of GAY SEX in the media (in reaction to a HuffPo article calling for less sanitized GAY SEX in the media) but really I mean queer sex.


      I want to make explicit that my working definition of GAY SEX is any sex that a queer person has who wants to call it sex. What gets you off? That’s GAY SEX. What counts as GAY SEX to you today might not tomorrow and that’s okay. Variety is one of the very best attributes about GAY SEX.


      Most of the links in this post are Not Safe For Work (NSFW) just so you know.


      Here at QueerFatFemme.com I try to make it clear that there are no queer gatekeepers. For example, Femmes are still queer even when they are doing it to cisdudes. So when one of my Femme pals started doing it to a cisdude and reported back that the cunnilingus was surprisingly great (“Better than a lesbian! Best of my life!” she shockingly announced) I took my charm and talk show host realness to the source. Hanging out with this boy I asked him “So what made you so great at eating pussy?” (To be fair there was a lot of bourbon involved.)

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      by Published on 02-15-2011 05:25 AM
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      Glitterpositive Valentine Sentiments

      Happy Validation Day everyone!



      Chalk art from Re/Dress NYC by Erin Bunny Burrows.

      This time of year life is inundated with prix-fixe Valentine’s Day specials at restaurants and single-phobic, glitter-phobic rhetoric. (“Don’t be different! Do everything the same! Don’t be a wild pony! Find one person to love and do it in this totally heteronormative way!”) I find it gleefully ironic that these messages are sometimes sent using glitter*, when glitter to me represents people who shine really bright and really differently without regard for trying to quiet down or dim their shine in order to woo a mate.

      I am a big fan of doing good things for yourself on Valentine’s Day, partnered or not. I’ve written about calling it Validation Day before and celebrating the joy of your life on Valentine’s Day. I’m into buying yourself something frivolous, delving into the cheesiness of hearts and confetti** just because it’s fun, or getting together with friends to make lasagna, drink red wine and revel in each others’ fabulousness.

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      by Published on 12-14-2010 09:46 AM
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      Secret Agent Femme: Bringing Your Authentic Self on Dates

      Long time readers will recall that I have a penchant for dating out of towners. I’m trying to go localvore for awhile, but there is something uniquely thrilling about traveling for a long-anticipated date.

      I had such a date earlier this year. It was in a colder climate. I was staying with a good friend of mine and going to go on a coffee date with an internet friend I had never met in real life. We agreed to coffee ahead of time, to ease the pressure, and then a check in about whether we wanted to be on a “date-date.” If we did, we would proceed to dinner or something, if not I would go back to my friend’s house.

      This brought about a significant fashion dilemma for me. I like to know what activity is in store for me on a date so that I can dress appropriately. There is nuance in what kind of garment I wear for different occasions and I certainly see a vast distinction between what I would wear on a coffee date and a dinner date.

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