• Gender Terms and Linguistics

    Old-school, or classic butch-femme--- Refers historically to the well-documented Butch-Femme community that organized in the 50's. Can also refer to modern day Butches and Femmes who appreciate an/or emulate many of the values from an era when the roles in our community were more clearly defined.
    Power Femme--- Femme who revels in the power, strength, and mystique of her femininity.
    Femme top, Femme bottom, Butch top, or Butch bottom--- Didja think all S/M Femmes were bottoms? A Butch bottom might express masculinity and strength through endurance, while a Femme top might express her power through femininity.
    Stud--- In a lesbian relationship, the stud has the more aggressive mentality (in most cases). A "stud" typically dresses more masculine, and enjoys the normal "male-identified" activities (ie. watching sports, hanging out, fucking). A "stud" is stereotypically used to describe a black masculine lesbian, as most white masculine lesbians are considered "butch".
    High Femme
    --- Exhibits hyper-femininity which may manifest itself outwardly in appearance, and inwardly as a a celebration of femininity.
    Packing---Butch wearing a "cock" under clothing. This could be a silicone or rubber model readily used for fucking, or a realistically flaccid prothesis which can either be purchased or home-made.

    Daddy, grrl, or daddy/grrl--- Dynamic in some butch-femme relationships where the Butch takes over the parental or care-taking role, either 24-7, or as occasional age play. Sexually, Daddy/Grrl can be played out in a incestous or S/M fashion where Daddy is irresponsibly "wicked", or Daddy might be emotionally responsible for nurturing and loving the grrl. This particular dynamic can allow Femmes to freely explore being bratty, playful, independent, innocent, or submissive, etc... and perhaps in some instances, both partners can confront issues surrounding abuse. There are relationships in which the Femme takes on the Daddy role.
    Mommy/Boy--- Rarely discussed dynamic which exists in some Butch-Femme relationships where the Femme takes on the parental role, either 24-7, or as occasional age play. The Mommy may be loving, or in an S/M context, very demanding. This dynamic an allow the Butch to be adored or punished, be child-like, innocent, boyishly devilish, or rebellious, ect.
    Stone Femme--- Can define a Femme who is sexually untouchable, a Femme who is "very" femme, a Femme top, or a Femme who is partnered with or attracted to very masculine/stone Butches. The way to correctly spell "stone Femme" is with two words. Online usage often runs the words together because early majordomo-based mailing lists required one word titles back in the day.
    Stone Butch--- Usually means a hard Butch who prefers not to be touched by a partner sexually at all, or in any way that is feminizing. Stone can also mean "very", as in "very butch" and proud of it. The word "stone Butch" is spelled with two words.
    Kiki---A somewhat outdated term for a Butch/Femme switch.
    Polyamorous--- Having pre-negotiated relationships with multiple partners. The opposite of monogamy.
    FTM, F2M, or TS--- Female to Male transexual. The transition usually involves taking male hormones, sometimes includes top surgery, but doesn't always indicate bottom surgery. Many feel bottom surgery for F2Ms at this time is not a completely successful resolution. Some Butches may take testosterone and have top surgery, yet don't consider themselves transexual, or even male-identified.
    TG---Transgendered. Many believe that Butches transgress the gender of "woman" or blur traditional gender to such a degree that they are transgendered. Others believe Butch is clearly a gender of it's own.
    Hir, hym, s/he, zie--- Various masculine pronouns for Butches. Sometimes Butches online will also call one another "bro" or use traditional male pronouns, much in the same way that queens call one another "she". Such bending of our limited language isn't always politically motivated, but often the practice is simply employed as a tidy way of differentiating between the Butches and Femmes online.
    Het queer--- Controversial phrase used to describe how the power dynamics and polarity of sexuality are closer to heterosexuality than homosexuality.
    Fag Butch--- Butch into other butches or FTMs; not usually meant as a derogatory term, although some old-school butches may express discomfort with Butch-on-Butch sexuality.
    Lipstick lesbian---Media term used to describe feminine lesbians, not normally used to indicate Femmes.
    Fem---Seldom used variation of Femme.
    Andro dyke--- Mainstream lesbian style that is deliberately void of either masculinity or femininity, or an androgenous combination of both gender expressions, each crossing the other out. Androgeny can find roots in politics, having originated from feminist beliefs of the 70's.
    Metrosexual Butch--- Humorous way to explain a dandy Butch who is fastiduous about style, or a Butch who (although masculine) exhibits other traits common to gay boy, such as a love of theatre or a flair for design.
    Baby Butch or baby Femme--- Newly-out Butch or Femme, not always related to age.
    Binary gender system--- Concept that there are two genders: man and woman. Many believe that Butch and Femme disprove the concept of a binary gender system. Some Butches and Femmes claim rights to a third gender.
    Saturday night Butch--- Expression used to describe lesbians who only "butch-out" at the bar on weekends.
    Boi-- In S/M circles, this means a Butch who is a bottom. The term has been adapted by the Butch-Femme community to describe a Butch who is not a Daddy, or to express affection toward masculine females or Butches.

    Do you have some terms and definitions you want to add to our list. Please do so in the comments below!
    Comments 5 Comments
    1. PwrFemme's Avatar
      PwrFemme -
      Very glad to see Power Femme in your list, thank you!
    1. DanTheTransman's Avatar
      DanTheTransman -
      2 things
      1) zi & hir were originally used as gender neutral terms
      2) also I've seen, and gotten used to using, boi: as interchangable with baby butch and also as refering to any masculine person
    1. honeybarbara's Avatar
      honeybarbara -
      boi = asl used as "boish type," used much by those who don't really feel butch is a perfect match, or don't feel they want to subscribe to what they perceive as "Butch rules" or to be accused of not being "a butch". Sort of a way to separate themselves from undue criticism about how others think butches "should be." Name yourself something else masculine orientated with fewer preconceived rules and ideas.

      zi, hir, s/he, sie = gender neutral pronouns. For example:
      sie third person singular, gender neutral, nominative case (accusative and possessive hir, possessive hirs, reflexive hirself)
      (Internet) A gender-neutral pronoun: he or she.

      Taken from wikki

      I'm feminine and would prefer gender neutral pronouns, myself.

      very pleased with the stonefemme description.
    1. SunshinesDaisy3's Avatar
      SunshinesDaisy3 -
      Yes power femme ia very nice to see. I don't like lables very well ... but I'm now a beautifully powered femme! I think lol I am who am nobody can tell me what I am I'm just me! Thank you this thread... I'm sure it helps many people identify who they are!
    1. Stickylips4u2kiss's Avatar
      Stickylips4u2kiss -
      I think the term Blue Jean Femme meaning : A Blue Jean Femme is a lesbian who identifies as femme, or feminine, but prefers jeans and more casual clothing to dresses and skirts. I find this to be true about my self, and think its a good one to add