I just want to trust again ..

[FeistyAlexandra]

I hate to start my being here on such a sour note .
I had met this amazing butch .She was everything i ever wanted .
Smart , driven , hot as hell , sweet , amazing , funny ... i could go on forever .
It didnt get very far , we were just getting to know each other online .
It developed into something special , even if it was only a week . The connection was very strong ...
She wasnt honest with me . She has been involved with someone for the past 5 years.
Basically , her online account was just there for when they took breaks .

We had exchanged couple of fantasy emails , nothing dirty , but enough to strike imaginative thoughts on both ends.
Today i got an email , out of the blue . She said she was sorry for leading me on and should have been honest with me from the get go .

But it doesnt help , i dont hate her , i like her way too much to hate her . But i feel
really stupid for opening up . My ex was a much older butch , she had her issues ,but
she NEVER , and i mean EVER EVER lied to me . Never led me on , i knew she wasnt monogamous and i CHOSE to be with her . I knew what i was getting myself into .
But this threw me off the train ..
I am not sure how to trust again . :(

[starryeyes]

You will be able to trust when the right person comes along. Everyone comes into our lives for different reasons, and we always learn something from them. Maybe you learned what you really want from a butch from this person, and when you meet them you will be that much more sure! It is hard to trust again, but open your heart when you are ready again.

[TrannyBoi_86]

I agree with starryeyes. Some people are fake online, this is true. But its not a reason to not allow yourself to trust and try again. I met my partner on a dating website and we've together five years now. Maybe too, try not to open yourself so much at the beginning. That way you can slowly build up that trust in case the next butch is as untruthful as this one and you keep yourself from being hurt.

[FeistyAlexandra]

Thank You both for answering this rant of crazies . Gosh i can be so emotional and irrational sometimes.
My issue is being me- i feel like i can either give it all, or none at all. Maybe that is what i should work on . On the other hand , why should i change something that has become my conviction in life . I love my openness and my willingess to get to know someone .
From now on i will make smarter choices in general . I will at least try ! Thank you both :)

[BraedonAlexander]

It is unfortunate that this butch allowed things to go abit too far before being honest with you Alexandra, but hopefully you will once again open your heart up and allow that one special person to show you what true love is all about ~ good luck :-)

[honeypie]

Braedon, I was thinking of you today and rereading your posts...it was not long ago that I had Handsome and I retired In Carbo sipping these crazy little drinks she makes and doin' a lil somethin' somethin' (no, I am not referring to sex and she knows to what I am referring), so I understand where you are at-Taking a hiatus form love to rejuvenate is one thing but giving up is not an option...I wanted to share this with you: For every woman who has passed through my life an left and left a mark-good, bad, or otherwise; for every lesson I've learned-usually the hard way; for every time I've had my heartbroken or had someone get over on me....Its made me who I am....I am stronger, wiser and better than those who hurt me or treated me as if I were disposable- I love deeper and with more awareness of others feelings. I tread lighter and am more mindful to use delicate hands when holding someones heart in it. So I opt to wear my scars as a badge of honor as I continue my journey, more prepared and hopefully a better human being.

[honeypie]

Before anyone gets her boxers in a twist, No, Handsome this was not about you. Well, except for the part about thinking we would live out our days together. This is a " take lemons and make lemonade " kind of a thing. All in an effort to prevent our friends from becoming bitter, jaded or fearful people. And, because sometimes, the pep talk is needed even if it serves no other purpose than to say, you are not alone;I understand...Honey.

[StarryNightaw]

This is why many of us are seriously careful and cautious over people we put emotional connections with. As great as someone seems, you don't really know this person. I've heard stories of people having LONG online relationships to find out the other person was different than admitted (married, had kids, didnt have a job,ext.), Dont let this sway you from finding your soul mate.

[PrinceDarkness]

This is why many of us are seriously careful and cautious over people we put emotional connections with. As great as someone seems, you don't really know this person. I've heard stories of people having LONG online relationships to find out the other person was different than admitted (married, had kids, didnt have a job,ext.), Dont let this sway you from finding your soul mate.

I so agree, I'm Butch and I am very leary of just giving my love to just any special femme cause you just never know. But then again I've been single for eleven and half years.

[BigButchMistie]

Be very careful when giving your heart away to someone especially if you meet them online. Nothing is ever what it seems. Words are just words until you meet and have been there to see them in their element and they have been there to see you in yours.

Its very hard when it hits you when you find out that you are lied too and played with. Especially from someone who seems to be everything you ever wanted or needed. I have been there to many times to count. And learned my lesson. Hence the reason I will not do long distance relationships. But the above folks are right. Do not let this sway you at all in finding your soulmate. You may have trust issues in the future but your soulmate well it will just be easy with.

[StarryNightaw]

Be very careful when giving your heart away to someone especially if you meet them online. Nothing is ever what it seems. Words are just words until you meet and have been there to see them in their element and they have been there to see you in yours.

Its very hard when it hits you when you find out that you are lied too and played with. Especially from someone who seems to be everything you ever wanted or needed. I have been there to many times to count. And learned my lesson. Hence the reason I will not do long distance relationships. But the above folks are right. Do not let this sway you at all in finding your soulmate. You may have trust issues in the future but your soulmate well it will just be easy with.

BBM couldn't have said it better.

[BraedonAlexander]

Everyone makes valid points here, and I agree dont let anything or anyone sway you from finding your soulmate :-)

[Duchess]

Honey you'll be just fine. Be glad you didn't devote more time to this person. I know it's not easy. I know what it's like to meet someone online and they're NOTHING like what they're pretending to be. Remember you did nothing wrong and know that in time this will pass and you'll be just fine.:)

Duchess

[loneknight]

Duchess is right Honey, I was in a relationship for 10 years with a woman who lied from the start and certainly wasnt what I thought she was, but i refuse to allow her betrayal to stop me from trusting in love again, nor should you

[Terri90069]

You'll trust in time.. Trust, Honest, Respect, Emotional and physical safety are the true key components to any relationship.. But if you feel you have to be dishonest as a mechanism for safety then there are reasons why, you do not trust that person 100% (red flag) (example, they threaten physical bodily harm on someone who has abused you instigating provoking violence with violence which contacting the other person could cause you to fear more for your safety) This does not fall under being dishonest .. But in Psychology those are the 4 main components for a truly healthy relationship. If you find all four of your main components for any type of relationship the main ones would be your emotional and physical safety, Trust, Respect, then Honest...