Older Butch's / Younger Femmes

[Bard]

Ok I just want to know your thoughts on this... will a age diffrence come betwwen you .. is age just a number...

[TxBelle]

The older we get, the less age differences matter. I think. That said, I would have to be really wowed to date someone I could have birthed...K-

[ZimmygLrL]

Good Evening Bard,

I dont believe age is a matter. I have dated someone who was younger than me, and it was a lot of fun, she kept me laughing.

Have a good night,

Zimmy

[Nycole]

I try to date older butches because it seems like I have more in common with them then I do with people my own age. That being said I do see age as a number, though I understand that too much of an age difference can ruin things, a person is also only as old as they feel. I like an older butch who can still act like a child from time to time(not in a childish way) one who enjoys playing video games, snowball fights and doesnt mind a little competition. While at the same time they enjoy sitting at home to a quiet dinner a good movie and just laying cuddled up in a blanket because they understand that it is ok to stay home and you can have fun while doing so!!! I find that older butches tend to have more of what Im looking for in a relationship. They are usually more comfortable with who they are that makes me smile, I am 100% comfortable with who I am and getting more comfortable every day. I also believe that when you find someone you think it could work with you shouldnt let age hold you back you should take a chance on it because you never know how absolutely perfect something could turn out to be!!!

[Vampy]

I so can not date or even sleep with someone who is younger than my oldest kid who happens to be 26. So she would have to be over 30 since I am 46.
Besides I like my women younger than me, always have.

[GemmeFemme]

*snip*....I have more in common with them then I do with people my own age. That being said I do see age as a number, though I understand that too much of an age difference can ruin things, a person is also only as old as they feel. I like an older butch who can still act like a child from time to time(not in a childish way) one who enjoys playing video games, snowball fights and doesnt mind a little competition. While at the same time they enjoy sitting at home to a quiet dinner a good movie and just laying cuddled up in a blanket because they understand that it is ok to stay home and you can have fun while doing so!!! I find that older butches tend to have more of what Im looking for in a relationship. They are usually more comfortable with who they are that makes me smile....*snip*

I agree with a lot of this.

I connect better with butches that are older than I am. At this point, I don't specifically say that I won't date or partner with anyone under or over X years of age, but there is a point where I get a bit squeamish. That point, for me, is around 35 on the low end and 55 on the high end.

It's been my history and personal experience that younger butches don't match me and my goals well and, frankly, they've all acted like asshats. That's not to say that every butch 34 and under acts like an asshat; just the ones I've had experiences with. For those over 55, it's a matter of goals and lifestyles. They are looking towards retirement and, typically, finding some peace and/or traveling. I like excitement and chaos (to a certain degree) and I'm not near retirement at all. While I like traveling to new places to see things and meet people, it's not what I want for my life at this time and point.

However, it really honestly depends upon the couple involved. One femme over here can be chronologically 28 but fits well in a crowd of peers in their mid-to late 40s. Another femme over there can be 42 chronologically but is very childish in behavior and relates well with those who are much, much younger than her. The same for butches.

The equation to what makes a particular couple work well is extremely complicated and precise. They must have similar goals or at least complementing goals. They must like one another. Strange, but true....people can love one another but not really like one another. They must have similar or complementary work ethics, work and play practices, cleaning preferences, sexual proclivities, general likes/dislikes, and about 1000 other things.

Note ~ I said 'complementary' if not similar. Like the yin and yang and butch and femme energy, a couple's energy together must feed off of one another. It grows stronger from, not only their similarities, but their differences as well. When one is 'down' the other must be 'up'. When one is 'off', the other must be 'on'. And, on the days and during the circumstances where this just can't be true, then they must have a level of forgiveness and 'let it go' ness that can rise above any issues.

There are a couple of threads on this already. If I can find one of them, I'll link it in here so others can see what more folks have had to say about this subject.

[mountain_drumcat]

i try to date older butches because it seems like i have more in common with them then i do with people my own age. That being said i do see age as a number, though i understand that too much of an age difference can ruin things, a person is also only as old as they feel. I like an older butch who can still act like a child from time to time(not in a childish way) one who enjoys playing video games, snowball fights and doesnt mind a little competition. While at the same time they enjoy sitting at home to a quiet dinner a good movie and just laying cuddled up in a blanket because they understand that it is ok to stay home and you can have fun while doing so!!! I find that older butches tend to have more of what im looking for in a relationship. They are usually more comfortable with who they are that makes me smile, i am 100% comfortable with who i am and getting more comfortable every day. I also believe that when you find someone you think it could work with you shouldnt let age hold you back you should take a chance on it because you never know how absolutely perfect something could turn out to be!!!

*very sweetly put!!!!!!!!! :)

[mountain_drumcat]

I agree with a lot of this.

I connect better with butches that are older than I am. At this point, I don't specifically say that I won't date or partner with anyone under or over X years of age, but there is a point where I get a bit squeamish. That point, for me, is around 35 on the low end and 55 on the high end.

It's been my history and personal experience that younger butches don't match me and my goals well and, frankly, they've all acted like asshats. That's not to say that every butch 34 and under acts like an asshat; just the ones I've had experiences with. For those over 55, it's a matter of goals and lifestyles. They are looking towards retirement and, typically, finding some peace and/or traveling. I like excitement and chaos (to a certain degree) and I'm not near retirement at all. While I like traveling to new places to see things and meet people, it's not what I want for my life at this time and point.

However, it really honestly depends upon the couple involved. One femme over here can be chronologically 28 but fits well in a crowd of peers in their mid-to late 40s. Another femme over there can be 42 chronologically but is very childish in behavior and relates well with those who are much, much younger than her. The same for butches.

The equation to what makes a particular couple work well is extremely complicated and precise. They must have similar goals or at least complementing goals. They must like one another. Strange, but true....people can love one another but not really like one another. They must have similar or complementary work ethics, work and play practices, cleaning preferences, sexual proclivities, general likes/dislikes, and about 1000 other things.

Note ~ I said 'complementary' if not similar. Like the yin and yang and butch and femme energy, a couple's energy together must feed off of one another. It grows stronger from, not only their similarities, but their differences as well. When one is 'down' the other must be 'up'. When one is 'off', the other must be 'on'. And, on the days and during the circumstances where this just can't be true, then they must have a level of forgiveness and 'let it go' ness that can rise above any issues.

There are a couple of threads on this already. If I can find one of them, I'll link it in here so others can see what more folks have had to say about this subject.

BRILLIANT GEMME!!!!!! Really... very well put!!

I agree about the "squeamish" lines... However, I also agree about maturity (or lack of), and old souls, etc... Someone COULD be mature and still be a kid too - we should ALWAYS remain in touch with the child within us... and then someone could be older and yet be a jerk. And on the opposite end of this [age] spectrum consideration, someone could be much younger, but more mature and older in wisdom and spirit - which I feel or take in as a kindred "old soul". And matching energies for fun, sex, goals, plans, etc... ALL are paramount in importance for age differences (or ANY couple really) to click and WORK, yes?!

Plus, I totally agree about the exchange and balancing of both the yin and yang energies! It's a very supportive nature AND understanding required, indeed! YEP!! Two thumbs up sis!

AND... HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YA!!!!


*MDC

[MidnightRamblinMan]

I think it really depends on the individuals involved. I've seen it work out well for some, and badly for others.

[oblivia]

my Beloved is 12 years my senior. Sometimes it feels like a significant gap between us, but usually in little ways. I just watched two of my favourite 80's movies with her - movies she'd never seen and one of which she'd never heard of: Pretty Woman and Dirty Dancing. Man did I feel soooo young and wow did she seem old! LOL ;)

And there is the immunization shot scar on her shoulder...

But I mean really, when it comes down to the day to day nitty gritty of our relationship.. our marriage.. our life together? It's just a number. We fell in love with each other, not a snapshot in time.

Best,
oblivia

[liveitloud]

I'm 14 years older than my partner so I guess age is not a factor with us. It does depend on the person though. I have dated people close to my own age that emotionally could snatch a toy away from a 5 year old crying the whole time. Well, perhaps that's a bit much but you know what I mean. Don't you? :)

[lissa]

For me... Age just isn't a number

Like Gemme and a couple others.... I have a *ick* factor when thinking about being with someone too young.. If I could have given birth to them, then it's a no go..

Recently I was talking to someone that I really, really liked.. But He turned out to be in his early 20's..

He firmly went into the friends box...

I believe in life there are stages... Too big of an age gap and ya'll are in different live stages...

[Nycole]

*very sweetly put!!!!!!!!! :)


Thank You :)

[Nycole]

I agree with a lot of this.

I connect better with butches that are older than I am. At this point, I don't specifically say that I won't date or partner with anyone under or over X years of age, but there is a point where I get a bit squeamish. That point, for me, is around 35 on the low end and 55 on the high end.

It's been my history and personal experience that younger butches don't match me and my goals well and, frankly, they've all acted like asshats. That's not to say that every butch 34 and under acts like an asshat; just the ones I've had experiences with. For those over 55, it's a matter of goals and lifestyles. They are
looking towards retirement and, typically, finding some peace and/or traveling. I like excitement and chaos (to a certain degree) and I'm not near retirement at all. While I like traveling to new places to see things and meet people, it's not what I want for my life at this time and point.

However, it really honestly depends upon the couple involved. One femme over here can be chronologically 28 but fits well in a crowd of peers in their mid-to late 40s. Another femme over there can be 42 chronologically but is very childish in behavior and relates well with those who are much, much younger than her. The same for butches.

The equation to what makes a particular couple work well is extremely complicated and precise. They must have similar goals or at least complementing goals. They must like one another. Strange, but true....people can love one another but not really like one another. They must have similar or complementary work ethics, work and play practices, cleaning preferences, sexual proclivities, general likes/dislikes, and about 1000 other things.

Note ~ I said 'complementary' if not similar. Like the yin and yang and butch and femme energy, a couple's energy together must feed off of one another. It grows stronger from, not only their similarities, but their differences as well. When one is 'down' the other must be 'up'. When one is 'off', the other must be 'on'. And, on the days and during the circumstances where this just can't be true, then they must have a level of forgiveness and 'let it go' ness that can rise above any issues.

There are a couple of threads on this already. If I can find one of them, I'll link it in here so others can see what more folks have had to say about this subject.


Thank You!!! :) I agree with yours as well. It is very well written!

[sunflower girl]

I agree with a lot of this.

I connect better with butches that are older than I am. At this point, I don't specifically say that I won't date or partner with anyone under or over X years of age, but there is a point where I get a bit squeamish. That point, for me, is around 35 on the low end and 55 on the high end.

It's been my history and personal experience that younger butches don't match me and my goals well and, frankly, they've all acted like asshats. That's not to say that every butch 34 and under acts like an asshat; just the ones I've had experiences with. For those over 55, it's a matter of goals and lifestyles. They are looking towards retirement and, typically, finding some peace and/or traveling. I like excitement and chaos (to a certain degree) and I'm not near retirement at all. While I like traveling to new places to see things and meet people, it's not what I want for my life at this time and point.

However, it really honestly depends upon the couple involved. One femme over here can be chronologically 28 but fits well in a crowd of peers in their mid-to late 40s. Another femme over there can be 42 chronologically but is very childish in behavior and relates well with those who are much, much younger than her. The same for butches.

The equation to what makes a particular couple work well is extremely complicated and precise. They must have similar goals or at least complementing goals. They must like one another. Strange, but true....people can love one another but not really like one another. They must have similar or complementary work ethics, work and play practices, cleaning preferences, sexual proclivities, general likes/dislikes, and about 1000 other things.

Note ~ I said 'complementary' if not similar. Like the yin and yang and butch and femme energy, a couple's energy together must feed off of one another. It grows stronger from, not only their similarities, but their differences as well. When one is 'down' the other must be 'up'. When one is 'off', the other must be 'on'. And, on the days and during the circumstances where this just can't be true, then they must have a level of forgiveness and 'let it go' ness that can rise above any issues.



:yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat:



:goodjob: Gemme

[Isadora]

Age is not a number. It does make a difference. Wisdom is gained by life experiences over a period of time. I don't think that age difference in relationships is a bad thing, almost all my lovers have been younger than me, but I still think there is a difference.

[Invictus]

If I'm old enough to be her Daddy......she's too young to be my baby.

[JAGG]

Age has never been a real big issue to me. I have dated some in there later 40's who have nothing to show for anything they've done in their life, mainly because they've done nothing in their life. Just depended on one person or another to take care of them. Socially and emotionally immature, week and unstable. Then I've dated some in their 20's who made very smart choices and were working hard at attaining their goals. Strong and stable.
But they do need to be experienced in the bedroom. That's not something that happens overnight, it takes practice. You have to travel around the block a time or two. So it matters to some extent.

[jushapycampin]

Ummm I would float between about 5 or 6 yrs either way. I've never dated anyone older than me yet though. Most have been within a year or three. I just like the idea of growing old together and having things in common that although we might not have grown up together we could have from having been in the same age group.

[ZimmygLrL]

Good Evening Nycole,

I agree with you. When my mom and dad divorced after being married for 21 years, she would date men who were not worth her time. She finally met my stepdad almost 12 years ago and they got married 11 years ago in May. She is 55 and he is 34, he is the nicest man and respects her. My brothers and I are happy knowing that he is in her life and how happy he makes her. So I do see age as a number, but it is the love between the two people that matters.

Have a good night,

Zimmy


I try to date older butches because it seems like I have more in common with them then I do with people my own age. That being said I do see age as a number, though I understand that too much of an age difference can ruin things, a person is also only as old as they feel. I like an older butch who can still act like a child from time to time(not in a childish way) one who enjoys playing video games, snowball fights and doesnt mind a little competition. While at the same time they enjoy sitting at home to a quiet dinner a good movie and just laying cuddled up in a blanket because they understand that it is ok to stay home and you can have fun while doing so!!! I find that older butches tend to have more of what Im looking for in a relationship. They are usually more comfortable with who they are that makes me smile, I am 100% comfortable with who I am and getting more comfortable every day. I also believe that when you find someone you think it could work with you shouldnt let age hold you back you should take a chance on it because you never know how absolutely perfect something could turn out to be!!!

[HammiePoo2]

Some of the most immature, game-playingest people I've ever met were over the age of 40.

At least us youngins still suckin at mama's teat have an excuse, haha.

Somebody burp me.

[JustaGirl25]

I'm going to have to agree with the two people that I quoted... I've never dated anyone under 34 (and I'm 25) and I don't see that happening anytime soon. Val was 42, April was 34, Jo was 44, Daddy "O" was 48. Gah in fact it seems as I get older, they get older too!!!

The 34 y/o was a insecure, overbearing, let me treat you like a child, arrogant bitch. Out of them all, she'd be the one you'd least expect to treat someone like a child, but eh whatever! She taught me age doesn't always mean mature!

My other partners, I've remained friends with for the most part. We still talk and exchange emails. They ask questions about my personal life now in a "friends help friends" type way. They try to direct and guide me, but also know when to step back.

To answer your question though, yes. I will admit. I have an age requirement, and no, I don't like to go outside it.




I try to date older butches because it seems like I have more in common with them then I do with people my own age. That being said I do see age as a number, though I understand that too much of an age difference can ruin things, a person is also only as old as they feel. I like an older butch who can still act like a child from time to time(not in a childish way) one who enjoys playing video games, snowball fights and doesnt mind a little competition. While at the same time they enjoy sitting at home to a quiet dinner a good movie and just laying cuddled up in a blanket because they understand that it is ok to stay home and you can have fun while doing so!!! I find that older butches tend to have more of what Im looking for in a relationship. They are usually more comfortable with who they are that makes me smile, I am 100% comfortable with who I am and getting more comfortable every day. I also believe that when you find someone you think it could work with you shouldnt let age hold you back you should take a chance on it because you never know how absolutely perfect something could turn out to be!!!


I agree with a lot of this.

I connect better with butches that are older than I am. At this point, I don't specifically say that I won't date or partner with anyone under or over X years of age, but there is a point where I get a bit squeamish. That point, for me, is around 35 on the low end and 55 on the high end.

It's been my history and personal experience that younger butches don't match me and my goals well and, frankly, they've all acted like asshats. That's not to say that every butch 34 and under acts like an asshat; just the ones I've had experiences with.

The equation to what makes a particular couple work well is extremely complicated and precise. They must have similar goals or at least complementing goals. They must like one another. Strange, but true....people can love one another but not really like one another. They must have similar or complementary work ethics, work and play practices, cleaning preferences, sexual proclivities, general likes/dislikes, and about 1000 other things.

Note ~ I said 'complementary' if not similar. Like the yin and yang and butch and femme energy, a couple's energy together must feed off of one another. It grows stronger from, not only their similarities, but their differences as well. When one is 'down' the other must be 'up'. When one is 'off', the other must be 'on'. And, on the days and during the circumstances where this just can't be true, then they must have a level of forgiveness and 'let it go' ness that can rise above any issues.

There are a couple of threads on this already. If I can find one of them, I'll link it in here so others can see what more folks have had to say about this subject.

[LADY FLAMEZZZ]

Age is not a number. It does make a difference. Wisdom is gained by life experiences over a period of time. I don't think that age difference in relationships is a bad thing, almost all my lovers have been younger than me, but I still think there is a difference.




I agree with you Isa~~~~I'm lucky i don't have to concern myself with this matter anymore but i do think that age is not just a number...try being Fifty and saying that,lol
I have had lovers that have been fifteen years younger than myself and i found that thier maturity level really caused an issue, that and the fact that i was ready for bed at ten pm and they where just getting started with the evening,lol
I have met ppl that i deem old souls thier maturity levels are close to the older generation but it is rare. Some have led hard lives and i consider that a teacher so they most often feel very comfortable with an older crowd.
For the most part i think no more than ten years difference is a "safe" number!.....just my two cents!
I

[RiverSong]

... i found that thier maturity level really caused an issue, that and the fact that i was ready for bed at ten pm and they where just getting started with the evening,lol



Oh my, yes! When I am having a day when I am thinking maybe 40 in a 58 y.o. body that falls asleep in front of the TV, even before the early late news is on, I know what you mean above!


For the most part i think no more than ten years difference is a "safe" number!.....just my two cents!


I


Yup, I have to agree with you. I *used* to think age is only a number, and so it is with "just friends" - well usually anyway. But for a romantic relationship, I agree that generally, ten years is a safe one.


(8)

[glenninindy]

Age=nothing. It's all about energy.Good energy!:D

[Hack]

I've always dated femmes younger than me. I'm not sure it's a pattern as much as it is coincidental. Though, some femme friends of mine have pointed out that perhaps I am scared to date women my own age. lol

Currently, I am very attracted to a femme much younger than me, but I find it hard to believe she's really as young as she is. She acts more mature than women 10, 15 or 20 years older than her. She has had a lot of life experiences already that have made her the person she is, and she tells me that people her age aren't interesting to her as potential relationship material.

I can see both sides of the coin when it comes to "age is just a number/age is not just a number." I think I tend to feel that maturity cannot be measured in years, but in experiences and lessons learned from those experiences.

In praise of younger women,
Jake

[Isadora]

Maturity comes with experience, wisdom comes from living over time. I do not think they are the same thing.

[BlueMoonWolf]

I have always dated older than myself. I have led a different sort of life and that leads me to think differently than others of my age group. It's not that I don't believe that those my age can't be what I seek in relationships... just they are few and far between. To be fair, I have dated a few older than myself that had totally missed the grow up part of the programming. My fav was one that thought it was okay to call me drunk the week I had finals every night asking for me to come get her or she would drive home herself..... yeah she didn't last, and she was 24 years older than myself. :|

*shrugs* Sometimes people only use 4 colors out of their crayon box... others have the big box and a pail full on the side.

Blue(k)

[Rainbowchick07]

I am going to echo what a few others have said, in that I usually date older than me. My chronological age and mental/social age have never matched. When I was 10 years old, my mental age, based on standardized tests, was that of about a 16 year old. That gap has seemed to increase as I get older. Because of this, I always connect better with those older than me. Last year, when I was 24, by chance in ended up dating both someone who was 7 years older than me and someone who was 7 years younger than me. (Not at the same time) The former and I had a great time together and were on similar levels emotionally and sexually. The experience with the latter only lasted about two weeks before her immaturity became unbearable. Right now I would say that emotionally I feel somewhere in my mid 30s.

I will also say that experience is a definite factor. Life experience, sexual experience, emotional experience, relationship experience. I have been through a lot in my life and have learned a lot about myself and how I interact with people through those experiences. I feel that I am very self aware and know exactly what I am looking for in a partner. It so happens that a lot of those qualities are lost on butches of my generation and younger. It also happens that I find greater sexual compatibility with those that are older than me and I think that has a lot to do with experience. I am not comfortable with being someone's teacher, I need someone who is comfortable in the bedroom and is also comfortable with sexual communication.

I believe that chronological age is just another way of categorizing/stereotyping people. I do not think that anyone can really know anything of substance about me purely by knowing that I am 25; similarly neither does knowing I have brown eyes say much about me. To get to know someone, you have learn what is behind those eyes and what experience adds up to that 25. At the end of the day, I will never judge a person based on their age. I could me the lover of my dreams tomorrow, and they could be 23. For me, as long as they can take me out to a bar legally, I will get to know them and go from there...

[Bard]

The more I think on this and think of those I have dated close to my age we did not fit all that well I found myself being told to grow up. .. and then dating some one younger perhaps it was that she was the old soul or I just refused to grow up what ever the connection was amazong like we were kindred for the first time I let my gard down felt her fingers touch my very soul... however it is awfully funny to be talking about a movie and she has no clue... and lord have mercy .... that smile...;)

[fem4butchnyc]

I've date butches anywhere from 2 yrs older than me to 22 years older than me. It's all about the individual person and how we get along and what our chemistry is. (k)

[GemmeFemme]

BRILLIANT GEMME!!!!!! Really... very well put!!

I agree about the "squeamish" lines... However, I also agree about maturity (or lack of), and old souls, etc... Someone COULD be mature and still be a kid too - we should ALWAYS remain in touch with the child within us... and then someone could be older and yet be a jerk. And on the opposite end of this [age] spectrum consideration, someone could be much younger, but more mature and older in wisdom and spirit - which I feel or take in as a kindred "old soul". And matching energies for fun, sex, goals, plans, etc... ALL are paramount in importance for age differences (or ANY couple really) to click and WORK, yes?!

Plus, I totally agree about the exchange and balancing of both the yin and yang energies! It's a very supportive nature AND understanding required, indeed! YEP!! Two thumbs up sis!

AND... HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YA!!!!


*MDC


Thanks. :)


my Beloved is 12 years my senior. Sometimes it feels like a significant gap between us, but usually in little ways. I just watched two of my favourite 80's movies with her - movies she'd never seen and one of which she'd never heard of: Pretty Woman and Dirty Dancing. Man did I feel soooo young and wow did she seem old! LOL ;)

And there is the immunization shot scar on her shoulder...

But I mean really, when it comes down to the day to day nitty gritty of our relationship.. our marriage.. our life together? It's just a number. We fell in love with each other, not a snapshot in time.

Best,
oblivia

I have to ask....what does having an immunization scar on her shoulder have to do with her age? I'm 34 and I have an immunization scar on my shoulder. Oh, crap. Am I officially in the 'older' category now? :|


Thank You!!! :) I agree with yours as well. It is very well written!

Thanks. :)



:yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat:



:goodjob: Gemme



Thanks. :)


I'm going to have to agree with the two people that I quoted... I've never dated anyone under 34 (and I'm 25) and I don't see that happening anytime soon. Val was 42, April was 34, Jo was 44, Daddy "O" was 48. Gah in fact it seems as I get older, they get older too!!!

The 34 y/o was a insecure, overbearing, let me treat you like a child, arrogant bitch. Out of them all, she'd be the one you'd least expect to treat someone like a child, but eh whatever! She taught me age doesn't always mean mature!

My other partners, I've remained friends with for the most part. We still talk and exchange emails. They ask questions about my personal life now in a "friends help friends" type way. They try to direct and guide me, but also know when to step back.

To answer your question though, yes. I will admit. I have an age requirement, and no, I don't like to go outside it.

Thanks. :)

[LADY FLAMEZZZ]

ok i have to make a point and yall aint gonna like it,lol

all the ppl that said they have only dated older and had relationships with older.....where are they NOW !!!
also applys to the younger dates and relationships!!!

it didn't work in the end did it?

there my job here is done,lol

[nwalker]

I don't act, feel my age, so usually attracted to younger femme.... Kind of new out there and have not met many my age. I think there is an energy between people that sparks the attraction, and I have always seemed to find that spark in those younger then I am.....

[Bubblinsugare]

ok i have to make a point and yall aint gonna like it,lol

all the ppl that said they have only dated older and had relationships with older.....where are they NOW !!!
also applys to the younger dates and relationships!!!

it didn't work in the end did it?

there my job here is done,lol

Hello Lady Flamezzz-

I have dated older, from 2-4 years before, and then there is my butch who is 14 years older then me. We were separated for a year and he came back to me realizing that he did need me in his life. We are stronger then ever and happier then ever. So yes I am still with him and we are still together.

Bubblinsugare

[Chohnny]

Ok I just want to know your thoughts on this... will a age diffrence come betwwen you .. is age just a number...


Well, I see it this way, if she is able to keep up with an old-timer like myself... more power to her. lol... (puts away the walker)

I dated a girl that was 21... and for me.. well... my friends called me the 'dirty ol'man'. She was ... fun... but when it came down to it... she was being slowed down by me... she needed to be experiencing things I had experienced years ago and moved on from. She claimed it was ok... that she wasn't interested in partying and being out with younger people... but who at 21 wants to sit at home with an older partner that is tired from working all day and just wants to watch the news? I had to come to the realization... she and I... May and December was a great idea... but like most great ideas... reality has a way of slipping in and reminding you of the truth. What do we have in common... really.. not music, not movies, not hystories... not memories... what? what is there to build on? For me... it didn't work out.. I had a hard time accepting it... I think she had a harder time with it. She and I argued about the age thing.. I liked the idea of a pretty young woman at my side... but when I retire... she'll be in the heart of her career... I want to be able to travel then... she'll have to work. It may have been love... but love isn't enough in any relationship... anyone that thinks it is ... check their id for their age. IMHO May-Dec don't work for me.


Chohn

[evolveme]

It's the only way I generally can do it.

My best loves have been between 12 - 15 years older (current lover included). I do not have a maximum age requirement. I might have a minimum age requirement.

I enjoy the wisdon that comes with experience. I dig brains enhanced by the wisdom that comes with experience.

That said, I also need an egalitarian respect.

Not looking for a parent,

e

[BlueMoonWolf]

ok i have to make a point and yall aint gonna like it,lol

all the ppl that said they have only dated older and had relationships with older.....where are they NOW !!!
also applys to the younger dates and relationships!!!

it didn't work in the end did it?

there my job here is done,lol

Umm maybe the relationships ended because of things that had absolutely nothing to do with age.

Just for example... One of my relationships ended because when my father passed away I cut everyone and everything off... including her. Nothing to do with age. Nothing to do with anything else besides mind numbing and soul sucking grief. A relationship can't survive when there is only one person actually present. Oh and btw this wasn't a fresh from the gates relationship we had been together for just shy of 3 years.

Sorry to make a point back ;)

Blue(k)

[Eva femme]

Yes, I like 'older' butches. And I am also not a 'young' femme anymore.
It's all good :)

Eva

[PussycatGrrl]

i love older butches. i am 27 and just feel more comfortable with the older butch. i have always been attracted to older than me and certainlyin a relationship i feel safer with someone older and if i am in a relationship with anyone my age or younger they are too immature. i can honestly say that age does not matter........40's even 50's are very fine to me. i think its to do with the fact that they have a more mature outlook on life. i feel safer with someone older than me. Of course there are older butches who are just as easily going to cheat on me as a younger one but in general older works better for me. Its all personal preference :)

[PussycatGrrl]

Well, I see it this way, if she is able to keep up with an old-timer like myself... more power to her. lol... (puts away the walker)

I dated a girl that was 21... and for me.. well... my friends called me the 'dirty ol'man'. She was ... fun... but when it came down to it... she was being slowed down by me... she needed to be experiencing things I had experienced years ago and moved on from. She claimed it was ok... that she wasn't interested in partying and being out with younger people... but who at 21 wants to sit at home with an older partner that is tired from working all day and just wants to watch the news? I had to come to the realization... she and I... May and December was a great idea... but like most great ideas... reality has a way of slipping in and reminding you of the truth. What do we have in common... really.. not music, not movies, not hystories... not memories... what? what is there to build on? For me... it didn't work out.. I had a hard time accepting it... I think she had a harder time with it. She and I argued about the age thing.. I liked the idea of a pretty young woman at my side... but when I retire... she'll be in the heart of her career... I want to be able to travel then... she'll have to work. It may have been love... but love isn't enough in any relationship... anyone that thinks it is ... check their id for their age. IMHO May-Dec don't work for me.


Chohn

i wouldnt say no to a dirty old man Chohn. Better than just an old man ;)

[scentsofautumn]

There is a difference of life's experiences with age. Age brings wisdom and comfort in knowing the things that make a person happy, sad, endearing and nurturing. "Old souls" gather though no matter the age but, my belief is still that the "old soul" still should nurture the new life it has in this world. With that said, my preference are older femmes who have gathered up enough courage and ambition to keep in check all they have experienced in life thus far. Older femmes who want to continue their life with someone who recognizes a need to know and experience what life has in store on a continual basis. If I had to put a number to it I would say at least in their mid 40's and upward.

Life changes and so much wealth to life I look forward to. My life is very content now and I don't let it flow so freely as I did in the past. I am very protective of my life and all that exists in it. I choose my friends wisely and with anticipation that they will bring continued wealth to my heart and home as I will to theirs. I am an "old soul" who embarked into life having a very ambitious nature. Now, I stop to take in the scents of autumn...my favorite season as well as the sweet fragrances of life.

I value a lady who can do the same...

[Taking a chance]

I have mostly dated butches who were within five years of my age either way, with a couple of exceptions.

But, there are times when I go to events and it seems like everyone is talking about their upcoming retirement and what's wrong with their bodies and they want to play music from 1983, and I feel like a little kid at an amusement park being held back by rules about what I am or what I'm not allowed to do. And, puhlease, if I overhear one more conversation about how sex isn't that important in relationships . . . 8o|

[Greyson]

And, puhlease, if I overhear one more conversation about how sex isn't that important in relationships . . . 8o|


:o:o:o Say it ain't so Chancie!

[Thor22]

I just broke up with my younger femme, who was young enough to be my kid after 2 years. It was fun, then it wasn't. She was my "type" in a lot of ways that had nothing to do with age. I loved her very much, but she was very high maintence, again, not so much to do with being younger.
I like femmes of all ages except maybe anyone younger then 25. My beef with femmes around my age is if they are teachers or moms they tend to be very directive on dates. I'm not their kid and maybe they should try taking a break from that mindset and relax for a few hours.

[treesx2]

I definitely do not *act* my age. Sheeze. Just turned 51 and still doing triathlons........I need a butch at least 10 years younger than me........one with some energy and some damn stamina. When I look at women who are my age....in the polyester stretch pants and the gramma framed eye glasses.....I go EEEK!:| .......not that I want to look or act like a teen ager either. Working with younger people keeps me younger I think...

as I always say, for me, the chase is more fun than the catch. Thats because no one can *catch* me......:)

[Eva femme]

And, puhlease, if I overhear one more conversation about how sex isn't that important in relationships . . . 8o|
My goodness! Who said that? I wouldn't want to date that person :o

Eva

[VforVagetarian]

say the same thing in a song--age only being a number? naturally, he would. ever notice that the people that say that are older people that are attracted to younger people-way younger? i guess younger people say it too. i just don't think it's quite as often.-V

[VforVagetarian]

it will be the V username's birthday on the 7th. V will have been with this site for 2 yrs!! LOL!

[Lucci]

Hello everyone! I have always had a younger partner. I love life and want to get all I can out of it. No one has been able to keep with me yet, LOL. My wife likes to stay home too much for me and I like to work out, go see friends, go get wings and drink a few beers, go to concerts, etc... I have found friends to do all these things with. She is 7 and a half years younger than me too, LOL. I am 45 and have a lot I want to do, what am I waiting for? She just shakes her head at me when I say I want to learn to drive a Nascar and buy a motorcycle. I see it as having fun and living life to it's fullest! I also don't want to assume an older woman would not be able to keep up! After reading this thread it sounds that there are, LOL. As far as the bedroom is concerened, I'm generally always ready to go, which usually gets another head shake, LOL. Maybe I need to learn to meditate to settle me down some?

[dixielady]

Oh mercy! I just (l) older butches! :eye-bat:

I'm 29 and usually only date butches between 38-52. I promise I'm not trying to discriminate against butches my own age! ..lol I just seem to be drawn to the older butches, and I love their maturity. It's very sexy. ;)(f)

[Lucci]

[quote=dixielady;3029403]Oh mercy! I just (l) older butches! :eye-bat:

I'm 29 and usually only date butches between 38-52. I promise I'm not trying to discriminate against butches my own age! ..lol I just seem to be drawn to the older butches, and I love their maturity. It's very sexy. ;)(f)

;) Great comment dixielady! What a nice thing to say. Thank you from all us older butches!

.

[Chohnny]

Hello everyone! I have always had a younger partner. I love life and want to get all I can out of it. No one has been able to keep with me yet, LOL. My wife likes to stay home too much for me and I like to work out, go see friends, go get wings and drink a few beers, go to concerts, etc... I have found friends to do all these things with. She is 7 and a half years younger than me too, LOL. I am 45 and have a lot I want to do, what am I waiting for? She just shakes her head at me when I say I want to learn to drive a Nascar and buy a motorcycle. I see it as having fun and living life to it's fullest! I also don't want to assume an older woman would not be able to keep up! After reading this thread it sounds that there are, LOL. As far as the bedroom is concerened, I'm generally always ready to go, which usually gets another head shake, LOL. Maybe I need to learn to meditate to settle me down some?




:|Dude... ease up on the caffine... just a suggestion.:|lol hehehee

[butchgorilla]

I think it really depends on the individuals involved, their preferences. For the most part I've dated femmes within a few years of me, but they were generally older. However, my current partner is 8 years my junior. I realize this isn't as great a difference as some have mentioned, but in our case it really hasn't been too much of an issue. She's a mature woman, and together we will gain the wisdom that comes with experience. I'm almost 36, she's 28. If we had met say eight years ago, I really doubt that I would have considered dating her. I tend to think that the older the folks are, the less it matters (such that a 15 year difference is major if both are younger than 40, but not as much if one or both are older).

We like to have fun with the age difference. We're far enough apart that we grew up in different cultural/political periods. Musically I am all about the 80s, classic rock, while her tastes run more recent. But that hasn't caused any problems for us, and I kinda like pointing out that when I went to my first concert she was still in diapers. The other night I mentioned the cold war. Now, she's intelligent so whe knew what I was talking about but she wasn't old enough to remember it. That spurned an interesting conversation about the different political climates we grew up in. To be honest, I have really enjoyed being the older in the relationship; I'd say it is my preference but not a requirement.

Earlier I mentioned that I think age differences are more difficult the younger the couple. I think it can also be problematic though as the couple ages. A good friend of mine is in her mid 40s, and she was dating a woman in her early 60s. In so many ways they got along wonderfully, very much what each was looking for in a partner. However, my friend works full-time and plans to continue working for years, and the girlfriend is retired. This ended up being a deal-breaker for them. Perhaps another couple could have handled it - just goes back to depending on the individuals themselves.

-Kayden

[littlecowgirl]

I agree with at least part of what has been said by everyone, lol. For me, the life stage one is in is far more important than their age; however, MOST people's ages correspond with their life stages. Please note that not ALL do.

For example, I am 22 years old, and absolutely refuse to date anyone under 20. My reasoning is that it is simply unlikely that someone under 20 is currently in the same life stage as myself. I'm a full time student, mommy to a 1.5 year old little girl, and employed. Few people under 20 (and few people over!) are juggling the responsibilites that I am and living life the way I do.

The woman I'm currently dating is 20 years my senior. She, too, has a young daughter and a stressful job. We both live on our own, support ourselves, and take care of our children. We both love being outside, writing, and going to museums. Some of our taste in movies/music/whatever is the same; some is different. There are obviously times when one of us has experienced something the other has not, and we use these moments to laugh and learn a little more about the complexities of the person we care for. So far, it's the most healthy, romantic, and connected relationship either of us has experienced. I don't look at her as an elder or an authority because of her age. She doesn't look at me as a ditzy piece of arm candy because of mine. We each see the other as a partner- one to grow and experience life with.

I don't mean to imply that all relationships with such large age gaps will be a success. Relationships with gaps as large as ours are probably less likely to result in a life-long companionship. However, there are always exceptions to the rule, and I think it is important that individuals not immediately assume a relationship is doomed because one partner is longer on years. Don't ignore your heart simply because you already have preconceived notions of what your ideal soulmate will look like, or when they will have been born. Fate has a lovely way of surprising you. And really. . .the novels you can't put down, and the love stories that go down in history as great, are rarely ones in which the typical person loved the person society thought they should in a typical, everyday way. (l)

[Nycole]

I agree with at least part of what has been said by everyone, lol. For me, the life stage one is in is far more important than their age; however, MOST people's ages correspond with their life stages. Please note that not ALL do.

For example, I am 22 years old, and absolutely refuse to date anyone under 20. My reasoning is that it is simply unlikely that someone under 20 is currently in the same life stage as myself. I'm a full time student, mommy to a 1.5 year old little girl, and employed. Few people under 20 (and few people over!) are juggling the responsibilites that I am and living life the way I do.

The woman I'm currently dating is 20 years my senior. She, too, has a young daughter and a stressful job. We both live on our own, support ourselves, and take care of our children. We both love being outside, writing, and going to museums. Some of our taste in movies/music/whatever is the same; some is different. There are obviously times when one of us has experienced something the other has not, and we use these moments to laugh and learn a little more about the complexities of the person we care for. So far, it's the most healthy, romantic, and connected relationship either of us has experienced. I don't look at her as an elder or an authority because of her age. She doesn't look at me as a ditzy piece of arm candy because of mine. We each see the other as a partner- one to grow and experience life with.

I don't mean to imply that all relationships with such large age gaps will be a success. Relationships with gaps as large as ours are probably less likely to result in a life-long companionship. However, there are always exceptions to the rule, and I think it is important that individuals not immediately assume a relationship is doomed because one partner is longer on years. Don't ignore your heart simply because you already have preconceived notions of what your ideal soulmate will look like, or when they will have been born. Fate has a lovely way of surprising you. And really. . .the novels you can't put down, and the love stories that go down in history as great, are rarely ones in which the typical person loved the person society thought they should in a typical, everyday way. (l)

I'd add more to this but I believe you have already said everything I could have thought of or couldn't think of at the time I posted to say. That being said I agree with your post 100%, it was very well said :D

[Lady Jewel]

Thor, I am a mom to one child and trust me, the LAST thing I want to do on a date is be directive or bossy. I get enough of that at home. When I go on a date, I dont want to be Jewel the mom...I just want to be me...Jewel.

Warmly,
Jewel (f)





I just broke up with my younger femme, who was young enough to be my kid after 2 years. It was fun, then it wasn't. She was my "type" in a lot of ways that had nothing to do with age. I loved her very much, but she was very high maintence, again, not so much to do with being younger.
I like femmes of all ages except maybe anyone younger then 25. My beef with femmes around my age is if they are teachers or moms they tend to be very directive on dates. I'm not their kid and maybe they should try taking a break from that mindset and relax for a few hours.

[Bard]

I agree with at least part of what has been said by everyone, lol. For me, the life stage one is in is far more important than their age; however, MOST people's ages correspond with their life stages. Please note that not ALL do.

For example, I am 22 years old, and absolutely refuse to date anyone under 20. My reasoning is that it is simply unlikely that someone under 20 is currently in the same life stage as myself. I'm a full time student, mommy to a 1.5 year old little girl, and employed. Few people under 20 (and few people over!) are juggling the responsibilites that I am and living life the way I do.

The woman I'm currently dating is 20 years my senior. She, too, has a young daughter and a stressful job. We both live on our own, support ourselves, and take care of our children. We both love being outside, writing, and going to museums. Some of our taste in movies/music/whatever is the same; some is different. There are obviously times when one of us has experienced something the other has not, and we use these moments to laugh and learn a little more about the complexities of the person we care for. So far, it's the most healthy, romantic, and connected relationship either of us has experienced. I don't look at her as an elder or an authority because of her age. She doesn't look at me as a ditzy piece of arm candy because of mine. We each see the other as a partner- one to grow and experience life with.

I don't mean to imply that all relationships with such large age gaps will be a success. Relationships with gaps as large as ours are probably less likely to result in a life-long companionship. However, there are always exceptions to the rule, and I think it is important that individuals not immediately assume a relationship is doomed because one partner is longer on years. Don't ignore your heart simply because you already have preconceived notions of what your ideal soulmate will look like, or when they will have been born. Fate has a lovely way of surprising you. And really. . .the novels you can't put down, and the love stories that go down in history as great, are rarely ones in which the typical person loved the person society thought they should in a typical, everyday way. (l)


First I must agree with My cowgirl and not just because of our relationship... It is a matter of lifestages I bet that had she and I met and been much closer in age say had I been the person I was at 22 and she being as she is I do not think we would be together. The age diffrence is not a factor to us but I do know that we may be the exception rather then the rule. We both have young children and have many intrests in common and I could talk to her all day about anything she has enriched my life in countless ways.. We also have the distance factor and to me that is the harder of the two I miss just the simple being able to hold her in my arms..... I really believe that any challenges our age diffrence may throw at us we can overcome and you can call me a idealiest if you will but we are baised in mutual trust respect and communications and very similer in our values I can see making my life with her and I do have faith ..

[Bard]

I still think that where you are in your life really is more important it ballences the relationship .. I know some very mature younger femmes and some Butch's that have some growing up to do lol
I am just glad that we are are at a stage in our lives when we fit ...

[sapphire_gurl]

I have to agree with a few others. Age IS a number, it is the number of years you have been alive. Maturity on the other hand comes from life expierences, and the way in which one was raised.

While I on one had have not had a ton of life expierences nor a hard life, I tend to watch and observe others and learn from their mistakes. My family raised me well, and as respectfully as possible.

I tend to be an old soul, I would rather stay in an have a few close friends over to drink with than go out to a loud and usually annoying bar/club (whatever).

I can also see my own faults, which helps on the maturity level.

[Lucci]

:|Dude... ease up on the caffine... just a suggestion.:|lol hehehee


LOL, I am not nearly annoying as you may think. I can kick back and relax! (b)

[Bard]

just bumping for more thoughts...

[Heavenleahangel]

I have always dated older butches. I seem to relate to them much better.

[Red Dirt Girl]

[quote=GemmeFemme;3027496]

I have to ask....what does having an immunization scar on her shoulder have to do with her age? I'm 34 and I have an immunization scar on my shoulder. Oh, crap. Am I officially in the 'older' category now? :| quote]


Yes. You are officially in the 'older' category. Older and wiser, dear. Although to be honest I thought 1969 or '70 was the cut-off.

[Lady Jewel]

Its funny, I have always craved an older butch to take me by the hand for the "The Dance", but always get someone younger than myself. Turst me it is NOT by choice. And now that I am 47, I guess to get someone older I am going to have to resurrect Methusalah LMAO.

Warmly,
Jewel(f)

[Magenta]

. My beef with femmes around my age is if they are teachers or moms they tend to be very directive on dates. I'm not their kid and maybe they should try taking a break from that mindset and relax for a few hours.


Im a teacher, but Im WAY indecisive on dates!! :s Yeah I think I would be okay with dating someone either 5 years younger or older, I think beyond that would be tricky.

[Nycole]

Why I like older butches...

Most butches my age don't understand what responsibility is, I do I own a house and my car, I go to college full time...I dont like to party! I dont mind hanging out with a few friends and having a couple of beers but thats my limit, people my age usually don't have a limit and like to get stupidly drunk and that just isn't for me! I like long walks on the beach(or anywhere) without saying a word just holding their hand and enjoying my time with them, I love historical sites and museums, and I love to read, Im also a poet!, I know I'm young but I've learned that it isn't all about sex, while sex is a great part of it, its not the most important part, and butches my age don't get that at all!!

I guess what Im saying is that Im looking for something real, someone real! I dont like to play games! When I'm in a relationship I want to know that Im good enough to be their only choice and I want them to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are good enough to be my only choice!!! I'm not the jealous type of femme either, in the end they are coming home to me, as long as I trust them there is no reason to be jealous...maybe a little protective of them as I'm sure they would be of me, but jealousy isn't for me!

[Vampy]

Why I like older butches...

Most butches my age don't understand what responsibility is, I do I own a house and my car, I go to college full time...I dont like to party! I dont mind hanging out with a few friends and having a couple of beers but thats my limit, people my age usually don't have a limit and like to get stupidly drunk and that just isn't for me! I like long walks on the beach(or anywhere) without saying a word just holding their hand and enjoying my time with them, I love historical sites and museums, and I love to read, Im also a poet!, I know I'm young but I've learned that it isn't all about sex, while sex is a great part of it, its not the most important part, and butches my age don't get that at all!!

I guess what Im saying is that Im looking for something real, someone real! I dont like to play games! When I'm in a relationship I want to know that Im good enough to be their only choice and I want them to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they are good enough to be my only choice!!! I'm not the jealous type of femme either, in the end they are coming home to me, as long as I trust them there is no reason to be jealous...maybe a little protective of them as I'm sure they would be of me, but jealousy isn't for me!






Wish there were more women like you in the world cause darlin' we want the same things.

[Lady Jewel]

Vampy, maybe we are a dying breed...but there are good women out there still.

Jewel(f)




Wish there were more women like you in the world cause darlin' we want the same things.

[Kinkoz]

all kinds of great women out there... want to borrow my fishing pole?

[Vampy]

I must be living in the wrong area. Even the women my age are so into head games, bars, jumping from bed to bed.
I'm just bidding my time until I can find the right one who wants to settle down and enjoy the slower life. I don't drink, don't smoke, hate bars, don't like head games.
I want to wake up with the same woman every morning look over at her and fall in love with her all over again for the rest of our lives.

[Kinkoz]

Vampy Amen to that! That sounds like me. Here I thought I was just old and boring. *lol*

nothing wrong with the things you are seeking... I think those very same things about sharing life with a woman and just settling down with a wonderful woman that just wants to be with me and be happy...

fuck the drama and the bars and the games... I am too old for that crap.

[Lady Jewel]

Here we all are agreeing with each other. Doesnt it give you all hope that your "hearts desire" exists??

Jewel(f)





Vampy Amen to that! That sounds like me. Here I thought I was just old and boring. *lol*

nothing wrong with the things you are seeking... I think those very same things about sharing life with a woman and just settling down with a wonderful woman that just wants to be with me and be happy...

fuck the drama and the bars and the games... I am too old for that crap.

[Kinkoz]

Lady Jewel I still have this dirty little glint of hope in my eye... *grins*

[Lady Jewel]

When we give up hope, we might as well roll up and die. No matter how sad we get, we must always cling to that glimmer of home.

Jewel(f)




Lady Jewel I still have this dirty little glint of hope in my eye... *grins*

[Kinkoz]

there's no place like home

[Lady Jewel]

OMG...I didnt proofread my last post. Home=hope



there's no place like home

[Vampy]

Here we all are agreeing with each other. Doesnt it give you all hope that your "hearts desire" exists??

Jewel(f)



Yeah but damn it... It would be nice to just be able to run into someone by chance and have it hit you like a freight train. The femmes in this area are into each other and not so into the butch/femme life. Besides I live in a college town and am so not into little girls they have to be older than my oldest kid who is 26.
Sorry everyone I have just been having one of those days where I miss being with someone.

[Kinkoz]

OMG...I didnt proofread my last post. Home=hope

*lol* it still worked out well.

[Lady Jewel]

Gawd Kinkoz Im such a mess LMAO

Jewel(f)




*lol* it still worked out well.

[Kinkoz]

Gawd Kinkoz Im such a mess LMAO

Jewel(f)

awww no worries doll. I am pretty messy at the moment too. *lol*

I always call that special place in the slap middle of love, where there is no place you rather be then surrounding your loved one in a warm loving embrace... home...

so it wasn't all too messy...it fit right in my train of thought.

[Lady Jewel]

I hate to admit this...but home was never the warm place you described. I guess thats why I am divorced from my wife :(

Jewel




awww no worries doll. I am pretty messy at the moment too. *lol*

I always call that special place in the slap middle of love, where there is no place you rather be then surrounding your loved one in a warm loving embrace... home...

so it wasn't all too messy...it fit right in my train of thought.

[Kinkoz]

Then perhaps that in itself is a blessing in disguise.

[Lady Jewel]

Ohhh trust me there was NO disguise...it was all "In your face" lmao

Jewel


Then perhaps that in itself is a blessing in disguise.

[Nycole]

Wish there were more women like you in the world cause darlin' we want the same things.



awwww thank you!!!

[GemmeFemme]

Yes. You are officially in the 'older' category. Older and wiser, dear. Although to be honest I thought 1969 or '70 was the cut-off.

Maybe it was regional? I was born in Mississippi, which is a very backward kind of state. 8-)

[Bard]

I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with..... and when this friend is also your love it is amazing...

I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand

Never take love for granted when two hearts a as one what does a damn number mean anyway .. it is all who you are inside and how you feel you ballence each other I thin that is what I most treasure about the wonderful woman in my life she stands by my side she is strong and tender and balences me.. at times I feel as if my heart will just explode right out of my chest ...

[msmoxie]

i've dated people a few years younger (up to five, i think) and several years older.

i do think that there is numerical age and then there is wisdom and maturity, and they do not *always* coincide neatly...BUT i am adverse to dating younger, because while numerical age may be one thing and a person's place in life another, i am biased enough to want LEARNED LIFE EXPERIENCE in a partner, and that comes only with TIME.

--mox

[ZimmygLrL]

Good Morning Thor,

I agree with you.

Have a good day,

Zimmy


I just broke up with my younger femme, who was young enough to be my kid after 2 years. It was fun, then it wasn't. She was my "type" in a lot of ways that had nothing to do with age. I loved her very much, but she was very high maintence, again, not so much to do with being younger.
I like femmes of all ages except maybe anyone younger then 25. My beef with femmes around my age is if they are teachers or moms they tend to be very directive on dates. I'm not their kid and maybe they should try taking a break from that mindset and relax for a few hours.

[ZimmygLrL]

Good Morning Vampy,

I am over that type of people to. I gave up on most butches here in Orlando, they like to look and touch. Most of the femmes have started dating each other. I dislike bars and like going to the movies instead. Most butches here just arent worth my time and effort.

Have a good day,

Zimmy


I must be living in the wrong area. Even the women my age are so into head games, bars, jumping from bed to bed.
I'm just bidding my time until I can find the right one who wants to settle down and enjoy the slower life. I don't drink, don't smoke, hate bars, don't like head games.
I want to wake up with the same woman every morning look over at her and fall in love with her all over again for the rest of our lives.

[Rainbow Skittles]

ok i have to make a point and yall aint gonna like it,lol

all the ppl that said they have only dated older and had relationships with older.....where are they NOW !!!
also applys to the younger dates and relationships!!!

it didn't work in the end did it?

there my job here is done,lol

Ok...just to make a point...it can work. Butchie was 16 years older than I was. We were madly in love the 5 years that we were together. I have every reason to believe that we would have been together 5, 10, 15, 20 years if we had been given that opportunity. It all depends on the people.

If someone dated several people who were younger than them and it didn't work we wouldn't say....oh see...you can't date people who are younger than you. It would be just as silly to say to someone who dated several people their own age and then broke up...oh see...you shouldn't date someone your own age.

I want to be with someone who's chemistry matches mine. It just so happens that those people generally are older than I am. Yet, there are people older than I am that act immature. It's ALL about the chemistry. When Butchie and I met, she was concerned about the age difference. Someone on butch-femme told her to go for it and I am glad that they did. I don't know who that person was but I am thankful that they could see beyond stereotypes and misconceptions, else we both would have missed out on an absolutely amazing relationship!

[Rainbow Skittles]

[quote=GemmeFemme;3027496]

I have to ask....what does having an immunization scar on her shoulder have to do with her age? I'm 34 and I have an immunization scar on my shoulder. Oh, crap. Am I officially in the 'older' category now? :| quote]


Yes. You are officially in the 'older' category. Older and wiser, dear. Although to be honest I thought 1969 or '70 was the cut-off.

Me too!!! I am 36 and I don't have one.....hmmmmmm....what is Gemme not telling us???? ;)

[GemmeFemme]

Me too!!! I am 36 and I don't have one.....hmmmmmm....what is Gemme not telling us???? ;)

LOL

I guess it is a Mississippi thing. :|

Everyone in my grade school got stuck. 8o|

[Rainbow Skittles]

LOL

I guess it is a Mississippi thing. :|

Everyone in my grade school got stuck. 8o|

LOL and I thought Virginia was behind the times!!!

[GemmeFemme]

LOL and I thought Virginia was behind the times!!!

No chit. :|

[butchgorilla]

Immunization scar - up until the early 70s the small pox vaccine was given generally on the upper arm and it left a scar. I was born in '73, and I don't have one - I think I came around not too long after they quit giving this particular vaccine. So that's what the scar is...


[QUOTE=Red Dirt Girl;3036397]

Me too!!! I am 36 and I don't have one.....hmmmmmm....what is Gemme not telling us???? ;)

[Bard]

When I am with my girl either on the phone or when we can be really together.. there is no diffrence ,we may have diffrent life experances but that would be the case just in where we grew up me on the west cost her on the east.. I think when you meet the "One" that is your perfect match you just fit.. there is no one else for me she is the perfect complement .. meets me head on and evrything I had ever dreamed of in a partner ... her passion inspires me her strength lifts me he love of family her soft smile the little ways she lets me know that she loves me .. age well that just dosen't factor in love is eternal and I have found mine in a woman who is beautiful from the inside out ... (f)(f)(f)(f)(f)(f)

[Perkitty]

I think it is just a number. If you connect with someone (that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars feeling) then nothing else should matter.

[Onyxena]

I love my older butch. I am almost 21 and she just turned 42. We met through a mutual friend. I have always been attrached to older women. It all depends on the maturity level of the person. The fact that I am confused for being 25-35 years old all the time, might have played into the ability to date someone 21 years older than me. I love her and she loves me. The age thing slightly bothered her at first, though over time she realized it wasn't a big deal at all. Now I even tease her about being a cougar and a cradle robber. Haha. You do what makes you most comfortable. No one can tell you that, it's just something you have to figure out on your own.

[Bard]

I love my older butch. I am almost 21 and she just turned 42. We met through a mutual friend. I have always been attrached to older women. It all depends on the maturity level of the person. The fact that I am confused for being 25-35 years old all the time, might have played into the ability to date someone 21 years older than me. I love her and she loves me. The age thing slightly bothered her at first, though over time she realized it wasn't a big deal at all. Now I even tease her about being a cougar and a cradle robber. Haha. You do what makes you most comfortable. No one can tell you that, it's just something you have to figure out on your own.

Thanks Onyxena.. I think my cowgirl said it best it is not age but rather your lifestages and when you love some one .. and they are the ONE it is a very amazing wonderful and beautiful thing... I wish you and your Butch all the best that life has to offer.... Love does not stop to care how old or young you are..when souls and hearts collide fate takes the wheel and the dance of love begins..

[Onyxena]

Thanks Onyxena.. I think my cowgirl said it best it is not age but rather your lifestages and when you love some one .. and they are the ONE it is a very amazing wonderful and beautiful thing... I wish you and your Butch all the best that life has to offer.... Love does not stop to care how old or young you are..when souls and hearts collide fate takes the wheel and the dance of love begins..

Thanks Bard. I am trying to get my butch to join. She still has some issues with it sometimes, but like I said, it's not as much. It is about life stages. Some us "youngins" have seen a lot in our day. We are more advanced than people realize, due to our age. Well that being said, there are some youngins that don't have a *excuse my language* fucking clue. I am glad to see others following their hearts.

[monkeydoestricks]

I believe that age is only a number.

Generally, I date younger but I don't believe in absolutes.

Yesterday evening, I found myself drawn to someone much older and someone much younger than myself.

I don't think there is a fail proof method to predict attraction. Unless you believe we are creatures of habit.

[LadyTeal]

While I have dated someone younger than me (she was six years younger) and one or two folks right around my age, my preference tends to be to date older butches.

[Bard]

Thanks Bard. I am trying to get my butch to join. She still has some issues with it sometimes, but like I said, it's not as much. It is about life stages. Some us "youngins" have seen a lot in our day. We are more advanced than people realize, due to our age. Well that being said, there are some youngins that don't have a *excuse my language* fucking clue. I am glad to see others following their hearts.

Yes Ma'am my girl is amazing and you are right... I am following my heart age is just the number of years you have been on the earth... I use to worry about it just a bit will she get tired of me I know silly true love is a rare gift adn one I have no intention of turning my back on...she is it for me

[Onyxena]

Yes Ma'am my girl is amazing and you are right... I am following my heart age is just the number of years you have been on the earth... I use to worry about it just a bit will she get tired of me I know silly true love is a rare gift adn one I have no intention of turning my back on...she is it for me

My butch seems to always be afraid I am going to find some hot young stud that will sweep my off my feet. What she fails to realize is that she has already swept me off my feet. It's been a struggle. Have you found that to be true in your situation?

[Bard]

My butch seems to always be afraid I am going to find some hot young stud that will sweep my off my feet. What she fails to realize is that she has already swept me off my feet. It's been a struggle. Have you found that to be true in your situation?

yes I worry about that as well.. even though I know she loves me ... lol I read her your post and she loved it if you have not already read what she wrote her it was amazing and touched me..we are also a distance from each other and that makes it hard I miss her so much when I first looked into her eyes I just knew.. tell your butch I understand but I also know that my cowgirl is not going anywhere and I get the feeling that you are the samn some times us more seasoned butches are head shy becasue of what we have seen in life and it takes a strong femme to open us up that is what my girl has done for me she is my best friend as well awsome how we just fit ..

[cybersuebee]

The age difference between my first girlfriend/partner was the same as that between me and my present love. Only difference is that now I'm the older one (I say older, because I'm not necessarily more mature)

I was worried about it at first, but now that we've grown closer, I seldom even think about it. The attraction is all between the ears. (Okay, I may be fibbing just a bit! :$) But I wouldn't be with her if she was who she was, no matter what the age difference. We "fit". That's what's important!

[tokarojn]

Great thread for me, I just recently found myself involved with soemeone 29 years my junior. Funny thing is that I turned down a 35 yo just a few months prior because I thought she was too young. But there is a BIG difference in their maturity level.

~featthers (58 yo and loving it)

[cowboiup77]

Generally I have dated women my senior but the past yr and a half I have dated women who were my junior. My experiences with the women my junior were less than great because they all were immature emotionally. I had just about given up hope on younger women when suddenly I met someone who is 12 years my junior, I am 33. I admit, when we first started conversing I was biased and proceeded to explain that I didn't think I could date her because she was so young. However, I continued talking to her as a friend and through our conversations found that there are actually young, intelligent, mature femmes out there. Due to meeting her, she has changed my outlook of age just being a number. Also, it is my opinion that there are several aspects of one's life experiences that brings about maturity. To think, I could have passed up someone so wonderful and brilliant as her because of age. Never judge a book by it's cover. Story to be continued.........

[Onyxena]

Generally I have dated women my senior but the past yr and a half I have dated women who were my junior. My experiences with the women my junior were less than great because they all were immature emotionally. I had just about given up hope on younger women when suddenly I met someone who is 12 years my junior, I am 33. I admit, when we first started conversing I was biased and proceeded to explain that I didn't think I could date her because she was so young. However, I continued talking to her as a friend and through our conversations found that there are actually young, intelligent, mature femmes out there. Due to meeting her, she has changed my outlook of age just being a number. Also, it is my opinion that there are several aspects of one's life experiences that brings about maturity. To think, I could have passed up someone so wonderful and brilliant as her because of age. Never judge a book by it's cover. Story to be continued.........

Thanks for sharing cowboiup77! That is what my butch and I did. Though I am 21 years her junior. She was EXTREMELY weary of it at first, but now we have cultivated a mature and beautiful relationship. We occasionally have our issues, but that's the life of a relationship. I love her very much and I know she loves me. Yay! <-Sometimes the 21 lively maturity comes through! :P

[cowboiup77]

Hopefully after five bad young ones this one is a keeper....lol but deep down I know she is :)

[Bard]

Hopefully after five bad young ones this one is a keeper....lol but deep down I know she is :)


Cowboiup sometimes you hav to just make that leap of faith.. I know what I feel for my girl an that the age is not a factor or distance is the harder part..when you find the one who makes you very soul sing you have to take that ride...I hared a line in a sone and Ihope I mangle it to much but to me it spoke volumes.. "sit tall in the saddle, hold your head up high keep you eyes fixed where the trail meets the sky and live like you aint afarid to die, just hangon and enjoy the ride" I know I have missed a part but yo get what I mean...

[Bard]

"Sit tall in the saddle, Hold your head up high
Keep your eyes fixed where the trail meets the sky
And live like you ain't afraid to die
And don't be scared, just enjoy your ride"
I almost got it right

and another one for my girl I know you are thinking a lot right now
Just look at you, girl
Standin here beside me
Starlight on your hair
Lookin like a dream I dreamed somewhere
And look at me, girl
You got me actin just like a lover
In an old time picture show
And how I got the part -- I just dont know
But its written all across your face
Plain as it can be
Youre the one that I was lookin for
Now youre all that I can see

[Onyxena]

... sometimes you have to just make that leap of faith... when you find the one who makes you very soul sing you have to take that ride...

We all take a leap of faith. Butches and Femmes are not made of stone. We all are afraid, especially when we find the -one-. It is even harder when the -one- is older or younger. Thoughts race through our minds, but honestly, ignore those negative thoughts. They only poison. If it feels right and good to you, then it is. Enjoy it and just be in love.

I know I am.

[cowboiup77]

Cowboiup sometimes you hav to just make that leap of faith.. I know what I feel for my girl an that the age is not a factor or distance is the harder part..when you find the one who makes you very soul sing you have to take that ride...I hared a line in a sone and Ihope I mangle it to much but to me it spoke volumes.. "sit tall in the saddle, hold your head up high keep you eyes fixed where the trail meets the sky and live like you aint afarid to die, just hangon and enjoy the ride" I know I have missed a part but yo get what I mean...

I completely understand the point you are making, which is why I am willing to take a chance with my heart, even if it means me getting hurt in the process. However, I am going to have a positive outlook and let fate takes it course because she is worth taking the chance.

[skitten]

I'm 14 yrs younger than my partner...I actually don't even think about it until someone asks...once I admit 43 to 29 sounds like a big difference...It works for us though.

[Nycole]

Generally I have dated women my senior but the past yr and a half I have dated women who were my junior. My experiences with the women my junior were less than great because they all were immature emotionally. I had just about given up hope on younger women when suddenly I met someone who is 12 years my junior, I am 33. I admit, when we first started conversing I was biased and proceeded to explain that I didn't think I could date her because she was so young. However, I continued talking to her as a friend and through our conversations found that there are actually young, intelligent, mature femmes out there. Due to meeting her, she has changed my outlook of age just being a number. Also, it is my opinion that there are several aspects of one's life experiences that brings about maturity. To think, I could have passed up someone so wonderful and brilliant as her because of age. Never judge a book by it's cover. Story to be continued.........Post 2 - Hopefully after five bad young ones this one is a keeper....lol but deep down I know she is Post 3 - I completely understand the point you are making, which is why I am willing to take a chance with my heart, even if it means me getting hurt in the process. However, I am going to have a positive outlook and let fate takes it course because she is worth taking the chance.

I was left completely floored by this, and utterly speechless! When I first met you, I knew there was something there, but when you told me I was too young...I tried to let it go, but it doesn't mean I stopped thinking about you! I figured I would wait patiently and see what happened! If it was meant to be, it would happen! We started talking again on Jan 28th and haven't stopped talking since! You are the most amazing person I've ever met, no one takes my breath away like you do! I am truly blessed to have met someone like you! I look forward to a long trip with you(only you and I will get this ;) )

[cowboiup77]

I was left completely floored by this, and utterly speechless! When I first met you, I knew there was something there, but when you told me I was too young...I tried to let it go, but it doesn't mean I stopped thinking about you! I figured I would wait patiently and see what happened! If it was meant to be, it would happen! We started talking again on Jan 28th and haven't stopped talking since! You are the most amazing person I've ever met, no one takes my breath away like you do! I am truly blessed to have met someone like you! I look forward to a long trip with you(only you and I will get this ;) )
Thank god I didn't listen to my head but listened to my heart. Sometimes in life you have to take a chance, no matter if your heart will break. I want to quote a song that perfectly describes this, "And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here"
Fate brought us to one another. I don't have enough words to describe how thankful and elated I am that you have come into my life.

[Bard]

Thank god I didn't listen to my head but listened to my heart. Sometimes in life you have to take a chance, no matter if your heart will break. I want to quote a song that perfectly describes this, "And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here"
Fate brought us to one another. I don't have enough words to describe how thankful and elated I am that you have come into my life.



Cowboi yeah sometimes fate has a way of shaking us to the core..there are times my head thinks way to much ..but I know in my heart whe is the one for me the one that makes my soul sing... Love at times requiers faithand blaind failth you have to just give in to it when you have that connection that love that freindship.. just think about sitting on the front porch swing with her by my side watching a sunset.. so glad she took a chance on me... she has my heart

[Docile Demon]

For me, age is just a
number. Maturity sounds
really wonderful to me.

I know there are probably
women my age that are
kind, stable, and mentally
mature, but I'm willing to
date people reasonably
older than me if it offers
more of the above.

[Bard]

I agree with at least part of what has been said by everyone, lol. For me, the life stage one is in is far more important than their age; however, MOST people's ages correspond with their life stages. Please note that not ALL do.

For example, I am 22 years old, and absolutely refuse to date anyone under 20. My reasoning is that it is simply unlikely that someone under 20 is currently in the same life stage as myself. I'm a full time student, mommy to a 1.5 year old little girl, and employed. Few people under 20 (and few people over!) are juggling the responsibilites that I am and living life the way I do.

The woman I'm currently dating is 20 years my senior. She, too, has a young daughter and a stressful job. We both live on our own, support ourselves, and take care of our children. We both love being outside, writing, and going to museums. Some of our taste in movies/music/whatever is the same; some is different. There are obviously times when one of us has experienced something the other has not, and we use these moments to laugh and learn a little more about the complexities of the person we care for. So far, it's the most healthy, romantic, and connected relationship either of us has experienced. I don't look at her as an elder or an authority because of her age. She doesn't look at me as a ditzy piece of arm candy because of mine. We each see the other as a partner- one to grow and experience life with.

I don't mean to imply that all relationships with such large age gaps will be a success. Relationships with gaps as large as ours are probably less likely to result in a life-long companionship. However, there are always exceptions to the rule, and I think it is important that individuals not immediately assume a relationship is doomed because one partner is longer on years. Don't ignore your heart simply because you already have preconceived notions of what your ideal soulmate will look like, or when they will have been born. Fate has a lovely way of surprising you. And really. . .the novels you can't put down, and the love stories that go down in history as great, are rarely ones in which the typical person loved the person society thought they should in a typical, everyday way. (l)


Just looking back and knowing that you are still right .. and that I am greatfull to have you in my life even when things get challenging. Love can overcome (l)