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Lady C Sparkle

01-29-2008, 12:04 PM

miss robin

01-29-2008, 03:44 PM

Scrabulous is still working...(i'm an addict)(i never have fewer than 8 games on the go)
There is a potential lawsuit pending but the application is still functioning while that is sorted out.
Miss Robin, maybe you need to run an update?
Hello Hello to everyone ~ especially those who have been otherwise M.I.A.: MsCK & Ardent!

LadyC, on Scrabulous, playing with the robot works, but if you click on email games, it says it's being updated. I'm in post-Scrabulous shock.

A femme friend from Noho just subbed to the site and she'll be joining us tomorrow night. She goes by Infinitblu.

LadyC, I hope to see you there. Ardent? New butches who didn't make it last time?

Miss Robin

drvnsnow

01-29-2008, 05:37 PM

The History of Love is one of my all time fav novels. I read it on a plane headed to Europe.

So I'd love to have you and Bruno join us for one of this shindigs. Say hi to him.
STB

Yeah, I'm hearing rave reviews about this book, so I'm really keen on getting into it. Bruno says hi back and we will definitely make it to one of the evening events sometime soon!

Special note to Holliday - Thank *you* for the recommendation on keeping the family tree! So sorry for the miscredit. I blame MsMoxie's posting extravaganza....;)

Lady C Sparkle

01-29-2008, 07:18 PM

LadyC, on Scrabulous, playing with the robot works, but if you click on email games, it says it's being updated. I'm in post-Scrabulous shock.

A femme friend from Noho just subbed to the site and she'll be joining us tomorrow night. She goes by Infinitblu.

LadyC, I hope to see you there. Ardent? New butches who didn't make it last time?

Miss Robin

Oh, I didn't know you could play by email.
I play on facebook and mine still works ~ (not with 'robots' :) but with other facebook members). Hm?

Robot Scrabulous Players??? :|

I will try to make an appearance tomorrow evening, but I have soooooooooo much work and a huge deadline on Friday, I'm against the (o) this week. If I'm not exhausted and facing two more days of inane-scrambling, I'll pop by!

ardentfemme

01-30-2008, 03:12 PM

miss robin

01-30-2008, 03:16 PM

Sorry to say I can't make it tonight--a deadline tonight (feeling your pain, Miss Robin) & long day tomorrow... Boring I know but what about the weekend?! Dancing anyone? Holiday, yes, uh, we're a few rehearsals behind (understatement)! CK: You will be punished ;) upon return from said (ip) for rubbing it in :s. Okay, back to work!
xoxo,
Ardent

Oh Ardent, honestly! What's a couple hours with butches and femmes?! Deadlines will wait. :|

Speaking of which, I got a call yesterday and they want me to put the article on hold that I was frantically working to finish yesterday and start researching/writing a new one about Black women in the 1956 Melbourne Olympics. Rather specific. But much more fun than the last one.

LadyC, come on out for a quick drink.

See the rest of you tonight, 7:30, Hotel Noho.

Miss Robin

Sophisticated1

01-30-2008, 03:20 PM

Oh Ardent, honestly! What's a couple hours with butches and femmes?! Deadlines will wait. :|

Speaking of which, I got a call yesterday and they want me to put the article on hold that I was frantically working to finish yesterday and start researching/writing a new one about Black women in the 1956 Melbourne Olympics. Rather specific. But much more fun than the last one.

LadyC, come on out for a quick drink.

See the rest of you tonight, 7:30, Hotel Noho.

Miss Robin

May be a bit closer to 8 for me... I am the chef tonight and I will likely take forver to figure out what to wear! (can't wear the apron with the bear on it after all!)

1, S1

musicfemme

01-30-2008, 06:57 PM

Hello Noho peoples! Clearly, I am not there with you playing Apples to Apples tonight. Sorry I'm not there, I just could NOT get my act together today. It was one of those days when Northampton seemed REALLY far away, LOL. I promise to make it up again soon, though, and hope you all are having a lovely time! :)

Sophisticated1

01-30-2008, 08:40 PM

cicibird

01-30-2008, 09:12 PM

So the homework... it got in the way of apples to apples... :(

Sophisticated1

01-30-2008, 09:48 PM

So the homework... it got in the way of apples to apples... :(

You are forgiven. It is a worthy excuse. Though you, like musicfemme, were missed. Perhaps another time when academia is not calling so loudly.

S1

cicibird

01-30-2008, 09:57 PM

You are forgiven. It is a worthy excuse. Though you, like musicfemme, were missed. Perhaps another time when academia is not calling so loudly.

S1
As much as I love 17th century lit, you were all missed too.

Sophisticated1

01-30-2008, 10:01 PM

As much as I love 17th century lit, you were all missed too.

We actually never even got to the Apples to Apples so I still have no idea what it is! It was a small group with two very nice new people making an appearance.

I think the bartender would be happy if we made it a regular thing.

So, 17th century lit, what are you reading?

1, S1

cicibird

01-30-2008, 10:22 PM

Some of Milton's sonnets.

Sophisticated1

01-30-2008, 10:31 PM

Some of Milton's sonnets.

Ah yes...
How soon hath Time, the subtle thief of youth,
Stolen on his wing my three and twentieth year!

1, S1

cicibird

01-30-2008, 10:39 PM

My hasting dayes flie on with full career,
But my late spring no bud or blossum shew'th.

(Well, at least this was the case for Milton)

Sophisticated1

01-30-2008, 10:52 PM

My hasting dayes flie on with full career,
But my late spring no bud or blossum shew'th.

(Well, at least this was the case for Milton)

Well yes, for Milton indeed!

lol That is precisely why I was avoiding:

That I to manhood am arrived so near,
And inward ripeness doth much less appear

Wouldn’t what the Milton unfamiliar to think I, 1, S1 was discussing my “manhood!” :s It just wouldn’t do.

1, S1

cicibird

01-31-2008, 03:08 AM

Yeah, I was avoiding the manhood bit too.

LizSybarite

01-31-2008, 08:16 AM

Hey everyone! It was great to see several of you again last night... I'm so sorry I've been so out of the loop! As I suspected, I still have an account here (the same one I opened in 2000 or 2001, I think!), and it didn't even need too much editing. Hopefully I'll be able to upload an avatar soon... not to mention figure out how to navigate the forums. Anyway, I buddy'd up to some of you whose usernames I could recall, but the rest of ya might need an electronic reintroduction. (K.C., that includes you! All I could remember was that the word "blue" was in there somewhere.) You'd think after all these years, I'd know what the hell I was doing, right?!?

Anyway, thanks again for a fun weeknight diversion. I look forward to getting to know you all better. xoxoxoxo

Sophisticated1

01-31-2008, 08:25 AM

LizSybarite

01-31-2008, 08:37 AM

Perhaps some time you can bring the academic other half with you. :)

1,S1

Absolutely! We'll never be attached at the hip (I have a LOT more wiggle room for socializing than she does), but I'll be sure to introduce you soon!

I am still baffled by the forums... how do you subscribe to threads? Why can't I seem to upload a photo? (I did sign up for a Gold subscription but I doubt it has gone through yet; maybe that's it.) I'm not really expecting answers from you personally ;) But I need a tutorial or something, augh!

Sophisticated1

01-31-2008, 08:48 AM

Absolutely! We'll never be attached at the hip (I have a LOT more wiggle room for socializing than she does), but I'll be sure to introduce you soon!

I am still baffled by the forums... how do you subscribe to threads? Why can't I seem to upload a photo? (I did sign up for a Gold subscription but I doubt it has gone through yet; maybe that's it.) I'm not really expecting answers from you personally ;) But I need a tutorial or something, augh!

LOL no worries, I personally thought this site was horrible to navigate when I first signed on. I don't mind answering questions, though I am likely not the most web sit savy here.

To subscribe to a thread, go up to the tool bar just above the top post and look for "thread tools." Click that and then you can subscribe.

I think if you are a basic member as I am, you can only load a few photos as it only gives you a small amount of room. Is the photo a large file? That might have something to do with it. The Gold subscription may take a while as you said.

1, S1

LizSybarite

01-31-2008, 08:56 AM

LOL no worries, I personally thought this site was horrible to navigate when I first signed on. I don't mind answering questions, though I am likely not the most web sit savy here.

To subscribe to a thread, go up to the tool bar just above the top post and look for "thread tools." Click that and then you can subscribe.

I think if you are a basic member as I am, you can only load a few photos as it only gives you a small amount of room. Is the photo a large file? That might have something to do with it. The Gold subscription may take a while as you said.

1, S1

Thank you SO much! I subscribed to this thread (for starters) and added a photo to the gallery section (which ate up most of my allowed space, LOL - hopefully that will bump up soon, because lord knows I'm a camwhore). I'll have to wait to make my profile fancy. So far, so good!

Sophisticated1

01-31-2008, 09:00 AM

Thank you SO much! I subscribed to this thread (for starters) and added a photo to the gallery section (which ate up most of my allowed space, LOL - hopefully that will bump up soon, because lord knows I'm a camwhore). I'll have to wait to make my profile fancy. So far, so good!

Grand! Glad it worked.

I used to have two photos up in my gallery, but now I only have one, and try as I may, it won't let me load any more. Ah well, perhaps I should leave the graphics to the "camwhores" :)

Slainte
1,S1

MsCK

01-31-2008, 12:14 PM

HELLO TO ALL THOSE FREEZING IN MASS!!

Just a little update. Saipan trip is a little delayed... Having too much fun on the mainland!

Wish I could transport you all here to sunny Florida. I'll bring some sand back with me.

STB: Need to talk to you... call me!!

To my friends on this channel... you are all invited to come and visit me at my new bungalo on the beach!

Just give a call....

(l)Ms Ck(k)

ardentfemme

01-31-2008, 04:51 PM

[quote=miss robin;2737511]Oh Ardent, honestly! What's a couple hours with butches and femmes?! Deadlines will wait. :|

Speaking of which, I got a call yesterday and they want me to put the article on hold that I was frantically working to finish yesterday and start researching/writing a new one about Black women in the 1956 Melbourne Olympics. Rather specific. But much more fun than the last one.

Miss R--you're so right except that a couple of hours leads to a couple of more hours... :) Your latest assignment sounds intriguing! Okay, so listen gals & guys--re: dancing, has anyone been to Oz lately? What's the low-down?
Curious,
Ardent

cicibird

02-02-2008, 02:45 PM

email scrabble is working again! :-D

musicfemme

02-02-2008, 04:23 PM

Miss R--you're so right except that a couple of hours leads to a couple of more hours... :) Your latest assignment sounds intriguing! Okay, so listen gals & guys--re: dancing, has anyone been to Oz lately? What's the low-down?
Curious,
Ardent

I went for the first time a few weeks ago. There wasn't a whole lot of dancing, but we were also there pretty early for a Saturday night. I dunno, I had the same complaint I have with pretty much every gay bar in Springfield since the Rainbow closed--all gay boys! I don't know where all the dykes and trans guys went, but they certainly aren't hanging out at Oz LOL.

miss robin

02-02-2008, 08:42 PM

Hello Noho peoples! Clearly, I am not there with you playing Apples to Apples tonight.

You were missed last Wed but I propose that we make this a regular Wed night b/f get-together. And yes, the bartender loves us as does that one waitress who might be queer.

So are we all on for:

Wed night, Feb 6, 7:30pm
(b)(d)by the fireplace
at Wiggin's Tavern
Hotel Northampton

I can't stay super late or have multiple martinis because Theo and I are taking a 7am train into the city for his audition at NYU Tisch. :D <-- proud mother face

Some of Milton's sonnets.

The Milton ping-pong between you and S1 was rousing!

Hey everyone! It was great to see several of you again last night... I'm so sorry I've been so out of the loop!

Liz, I love your photo in the gallery. Tres gorgeous!

Okay, so listen gals & guys--re: dancing, has anyone been to Oz lately? What's the low-down?
Curious,
Ardent

So this is in Springfield? Have you given up on Diva's, Ardent? Are you going to the Women's Fund dance next weekend? It's Feb 9 at the Clarion.

email scrabble is working again! :-D

I tried it and it didn't work. If it's up will you send me a game?

Miss Robin

Lady C Sparkle

02-04-2008, 08:29 AM

miss robin

02-04-2008, 03:19 PM

GoodGAWDItsMondayMorning!!!

It was lovely to bump into so many of you yesterday at various stops along my wander through town (& staples!) :) If those chance-run-ins are typical, I am clearly not getting out enough... someone make it Spring already!!!!

STB ~ do you play scrabulous on facebook? I'm listed under my full name - friend me so we can play!
Mlle. ~ I know not of this email scrabulous, nor of the email scrabulous playing robots!

Wishing you all a fabulous week!
I will, yet again, endeavor to make it out on Wednesday evening...I may *just* actually be there this week!

If not, I hope to see many of you at the Clarion on Saturday!

It was so nice to run into you yesterday, LadyC! Theo was just ribbing me because I thanked the adorable baby butch copy clerk by name ("Brenda") and he thought that made her blush. Lol! Staples was full of queers yesterday.

STB and I are playing Scrabulous off the Scrabulous site, which may be why we have a problem. I know its origins are on Facebook but I'm not a member.

Please come to 'tini night Wed! It's fun. <:o)

Mme. R

msmoxie

02-04-2008, 07:03 PM

i totally vote for a regular wed eve gathering at wiggins.
--mox

ps--VOTE TOMORROW!!!!!!

Lady C Sparkle

02-06-2008, 07:10 PM

Sorry I'm so pants, people!

I just can't seem to get my exhausted-self back out the door after I get home ~ mid-week!

Hope the fire was roaring, the bartendress was bubbly & the company was delightful.

See you on Saturday!

:)

msmoxie

02-09-2008, 05:04 AM

We're wearing pants over here, too.
Might not make it to the gala tonight, the pants don't fit quite right, if yannowhati'msayin.
It's such poor form to cootify yoour friends and neighbors.

sending love and air kisses from a great distance.

May Cinderellas, Femmerellas, and Cinderfellas all have a divine time this eve.

xx mox

Sorry I'm so pants, people!

I just can't seem to get my exhausted-self back out the door after I get home ~ mid-week!

Hope the fire was roaring, the bartendress was bubbly & the company was delightful.

See you on Saturday!

:)

miss robin

02-09-2008, 07:40 AM

We're wearing pants over here, too.
Might not make it to the gala tonight, the pants don't fit quite right, if yannowhati'msayin.
It's such poor form to cootify yoour friends and neighbors.

sending love and air kisses from a great distance.

May Cinderellas, Femmerellas, and Cinderfellas all have a divine time this eve.

xx mox

Oh, MsMoxie! I don't know what you mean about the pants. Are you not feeling well? If it's a clothes thing, don't worry, I didn't buy a new dress for tonight either. I have so many dresses from years past that I love but there are so few places to wear them, so I thought it would be too indulgent to buy another one.

i totally vote for a regular wed eve gathering at wiggins.
--mox

Yes! I'm totally up for that.

Miss Robin

musicfemme

02-09-2008, 03:58 PM

You know how I said I might go to the dance? Yeah. It ain't happening. LOL!

I hope everyone who goes has a lovely time and I also hope to see some of you folks again sooner rather than later! (l)

Sophisticated1

02-09-2008, 05:12 PM

Well music, you are not the only one. The mox and I are both ill. Not that we didn't buy the tickets, new accoutrements, and make dinner plans to boot! I am so disappointed that we can’t go.

The folks at Northampton Health Services seem to think I may have burst some little vein in my head which is causing these crazy headaches. I was (sort of ) ready to load up on my fun new meds, get dressed and grin and bear it, but then the lovely msmoxie came home feeling like this +o( She was going to try to muster a second wind but… things only got worse +o( +o( so, that did us in and we were down for the count. Very disappointing (is it sophisticated to pout?… mm ^o) probably not huh?… damn) :'(

For all those that went I hope you had a grand bang up time!!! Can we all go out again soon so we can get dressed up again????

1,S1(w)

02-09-2008, 05:31 PM

Northhampton is soo damn cool. I'd love to move up there.

musicfemme

02-09-2008, 06:23 PM

S1 and mox--I'm sorry you aren't feeling well. Feel better soon! (f)

Northhampton is soo damn cool. I'd love to move up there.

That's quite a long move all the way from TX. Do you get out this way often?

msmoxie

02-10-2008, 04:53 AM

Hoping you (and everyone) had a great time. Pants is LadySparklespeak for feeling unwell, sick, or similar variations on the theme. I am sad that my LBD still hangs on the door, my fancy new makeup in the cute new makeup bag, and that I must now go to work still pant-like, though better. *sigh*

Looking forward to fancy-tini night in which we all get dressed up! I have a meeting til 8ish this Wed....so not sure if I can pull it off unless I bring a likely-cranky-post-meeting straight friend with me. That could be a big damper, yanno?!

pants and crank is a bad combo. oh. how very dreadful.

xx mox

Oh, MsMoxie! I don't know what you mean about the pants. Are you not feeling well? If it's a clothes thing, don't worry, I didn't buy a new dress for tonight either. I have so many dresses from years past that I love but there are so few places to wear them, so I thought it would be too indulgent to buy another one.

Yes! I'm totally up for that.

Miss Robin

Lady C Sparkle

02-10-2008, 09:11 PM

I had a really lovely lovely time! (*) (*) (*)
The event had a very nice energy. And it was great to see everyone dressed all posh!

dieselfemmediva & dykeinabox ~ looked fabuuuuulous, of course!
And were fabuuuuulous companions! (l)

msmoxie, 1,S1, ChanieFancyPants, musicfemme ~ you were all greatly missed!

Mlle., STB, Bikerboyzzz, Frenchie & B. ~ it was great to see you all!

If I forgot anyone ~ it is late, i am tired, sorz (k)

msmoxie

02-11-2008, 10:01 AM

*sigh* looks with stubborn pout to the LBD and MAC lipsticks.
and at the fabulous new tie and suit.
*sigh*

so very glad a good time was had by all.
who's got the pics to post??
Miss Robin? STB? Milady?

Surely, at least one of you has some prime pics to share with those of us and bf at large (hee) who missed the gay-la affair.

a link! a phot for a link!

It was a drummer-less event, I hear!

xx mox

I had a really lovely lovely time! (*) (*) (*)
The event had a very nice energy. And it was great to see everyone dressed all posh!

dieselfemmediva & dykeinabox ~ looked fabuuuuulous, of course!
And were fabuuuuulous companions! (l)

msmoxie, 1,S1, ChanieFancyPants, musicfemme ~ you were all greatly missed!

Mlle., STB, Bikerboyzzz, Frenchie & B. ~ it was great to see you all!

If I forgot anyone ~ it is late, i am tired, sorz (k)

Lady C Sparkle

02-11-2008, 10:47 AM

*sigh* looks with stubborn pout to the LBD and MAC lipsticks.
and at the fabulous new tie and suit.
*sigh*

so very glad a good time was had by all.
who's got the pics to post??
Miss Robin? STB? Milady?

Surely, at least one of you has some prime pics to share with those of us and bf at large (hee) who missed the gay-la affair.

a link! a phot for a link!

It was a drummer-less event, I hear!

xx mox

'twas indeed a drummer-less event. :)
it was quite lovely. not at all prom-ish.

i'm so sad the two of you missed it!
we should organise another dress-fancy evening...

there was a paparazzi type photographer(s) there,
she/they seemed to be snapping lots of pictures which will be posted online (somewher??? did anyone catch her name? sandra something....or the html// location? or the user/password??? clearly i was distracted...)

i have a super-fabulous photo of DFD avec 'tini ~ i will email you that...

miss robin

02-11-2008, 07:10 PM

MsMoxie and S1, I missed you at the dance! LadyC, it was wonderful to see you and meet you very handsome, fabulously nerdily smart, and very personable beau. You looked gorgeous. Now I know who dieselfemmediva is. Aha! I loved what she was wearing. Titties galore! :P

I took photos but all of them include people who are not on the site and I wouldn't want to post them without permission. I have no photos of us! STB had the camera; it's his fault (it's always the butch's fault ;)).

I danced a lot, but I had my NYC feet from two days prior, coupled with F.M. pumps, and my feet were killing me by 2am.

So, Wednesday at Wiggins with the Wenches and Wargods (whatever)? MsMoxie, come at 8pm. I'm just so glad you're well. Is S1 okay?

Miss Robin

msmoxie

02-12-2008, 06:18 AM

Dear Miss--
share some of those crushed grapes with me, please. sounds like good stuff. it inspires alliteration, my fave.

How nice to be missed! I am better, and S1 is as well. *whew* Thanks for asking. I played hooky yesterday, called out sick and rested, read, and etc. lovely. DFD is divine, isn't she? And but of course our lovely lady looked gorgeous. As I am quite sure you did, as well.

(she said sincerely and without vapid empty meaninglessness. :P)

I hope to come to the Wig on Wed, but I do have a meeting beforehand, and there may be some, shall we say, damage control, that needs tending in it's aftermath, which may be best conducted one on one as none of you (save S1) know my friend who may require some TLC alongside a supa-tini. In the wise and immortal words of DFD, wait and see.

xx mox

MsMoxie and S1, I missed you at the dance! LadyC, it was wonderful to see you and meet you very handsome, fabulously nerdily smart, and very personable beau. You looked gorgeous. Now I know who dieselfemmediva is. Aha! I loved what she was wearing. Titties galore! :P

I took photos but all of them include people who are not on the site and I wouldn't want to post them without permission. I have no photos of us! STB had the camera; it's his fault (it's always the butch's fault ;)).

I danced a lot, but I had my NYC feet from two days prior, coupled with F.M. pumps, and my feet were killing me by 2am.

So, Wednesday at Wiggins with the Wenches and Wargods (whatever)? MsMoxie, come at 8pm. I'm just so glad you're well. Is S1 okay?

Miss Robin

miss robin

02-12-2008, 06:36 AM

Dear Miss--
share some of those crushed grapes with me, please. sounds like good stuff. it inspires alliteration, my fave.

How nice to be missed! I am better, and S1 is as well. *whew* Thanks for asking. I played hooky yesterday, called out sick and rested, read, and etc. lovely. DFD is divine, isn't she? And but of course our lovely lady looked gorgeous. As I am quite sure you did, as well.

(she said sincerely and without vapid empty meaninglessness. :P)

I hope to come to the Wig on Wed, but I do have a meeting beforehand, and there may be some, shall we say, damage control, that needs tending in it's aftermath, which may be best conducted one on one as none of you (save S1) know my friend who may require some TLC alongside a supa-tini. In the wise and immortal words of DFD, wait and see.

xx mox

MsMoxie, thank you for the vapid compliment! I've been tapping my toe waiting for one from you. I'll be sure to return the compliment :D(h)when I see you tomorrow night.

I put a photo of myself in the gallery from the dance but it was to make a trashy/classy point. I had to cut off everyone around me for security reasons since they're wanted by the FBI for a string of bank robberies (only kidding. They're not on the site).

Will someone grab DFD and bring her to 'tini night? I don't know how to reach her.

Miss Robin

msmoxie

02-12-2008, 07:17 AM

I've been trying to nab DFD for Wed eves but she is never avail on Wednesdays as she has a standing commitment. If we want her to join us, which we do, it means we have to change our day of the week. I'm game.

I am trying to find and post a pic of myself, too. Lady C--I might need your assistance! You know the one, and have it--purple wig--can you post a pic on my photos, not yours?

xx mox

MsMoxie, thank you for the vapid compliment! I've been tapping my toe waiting for one from you. I'll be sure to return the compliment :D(h)when I see you tomorrow night.

I put a photo of myself in the gallery from the dance but it was to make a trashy/classy point. I had to cut off everyone around me for security reasons since they're wanted by the FBI for a string of bank robberies (only kidding. They're not on the site).

Will someone grab DFD and bring her to 'tini night? I don't know how to reach her.

Miss Robin

msmoxie

02-12-2008, 07:34 AM

Lady C Sparkle

02-12-2008, 10:43 AM

I put the pic on my profile, in all it's classy-trashy glory.

disclaimer: I DO NOT SMOKE ANYMORE.

that's my most bestest accomplishment evah, that and finding S1, and who knew, they go together well. ;)

I (l)-(l)-(l) that photograph of you msmoxie!!!

Boots & Bras was a FABULOUS party! fab-u-lous!

in other news, i'm about to put into 'type' the unthinkable:

in the next 12mo. i will need to trade-in/sell my beloved (au), let the mourning commence ~ ~ ~ i (l)her more than most of my shoes :'( ~ and it pains me beyond reason to admit that she's fastly becoming fiscal-health-prohibitive ... up until this point, i've managed to keep the annual repair costs under $1500 ~ which was less than an annual car payment ~ which allowed me to rationalize my unconditional & impractical love for my car .... but now ... after this last spate of repairs .... i'm pushing that limit (and its only february) ... *le grand sigh* *and much weeping in anticipation* :'(

STB, I'm going to send you a little note ~ letting you know what I'm looking for, in case something pops up.

msmoxie

02-12-2008, 10:48 AM

tossing flowers.
*le grand sigh*

anticipatory grief is awful, dear lady.
tis true, no car can compete with the (au).
and yet, with sir STB on the alert, I've no doubt, you'll soon be happily gallavanting about in a stylishly speedy set of wheels as befits her sparkley majesty.

what are you doing later?
(t) me, kay?

P'op.

xx

I (l)-(l)-(l) that photograph of you msmoxie!!!

Boots & Bras was a FABULOUS party! fab-u-lous!

in other news, i'm about to put into 'type' the unthinkable:

in the next 12mo. i will need to trade-in/sell my beloved (au), let the mourning commence ~ ~ ~ i (l)her more than most of my shoes :'( ~ and it pains me beyond reason to admit that i am nearing the point of being truly upside down in my investment ... up until this point, i've managed to keep the annual repair costs under $1500 ~ which was less than an annual car payment ~ which allowed me to rationalize my unconditional & impractical love for my car .... but now ... after this last spate of repairs .... i'm pushing that limit (and its only february) ... *le grand sigh* *and much weeping in anticipation* :'(

STB, I'm going to send you a little note ~ letting you know what I'm looking for, in case something pops up.

miss robin

02-12-2008, 01:48 PM

MsMoxie, that photo is SO HOT. You should put it in your gallery. It's sassy mixed with moxie mixed with sexy. Is that from the Boots & Bras party? That party was so much fun. You had the purple do at Pride if I remember (I hope I'm not getting that wrong considering I attributed MaryJane's to you that weren't yours.)

So if DieselFemmeDiva can't make Wednesdays, and Cicibird said she edits her college paper that night ... let's just change the night. (tomorrow night we'll still be in winter storm hell anyway.) I'm okay for most any other night. Any ideas?

LadyC, I'm sorry about your (au). STB would love to hear from you especially since he's been plagued by two insane women in Ct. who've called his cell 12 times and left 15 emails.

Miss Robin

musicfemme

02-12-2008, 02:06 PM

I hate when I get plagued by insane women in CT.

msmoxie

02-12-2008, 04:21 PM

rottflol...
this was such a nonsequitor until i read miss robin's post.

and thanks, miss. yes, the photo is from b and b.
only in this shot, i have neither!
and yes, again--i did wear the wig at a post-pride party.
and damn, i want those shoes you thoought i had.

*sigh*

in terms of changing tini night--tuesday? thursday is a good TV night! that is, when there is no strike. said the girl who barely has cable and turns her TV on, like, 2x a month.

i'm all for a tini NOW, actually.

*sigh*

mx, full of *sighs*

I hate when I get plagued by insane women in CT.

Lady C Sparkle

02-12-2008, 04:36 PM

i'm all for a tini NOW, actually.

*sigh*

mx, full of *sighs*

msmox*msmox ~
pretty pink 'tinis in fancyschmany new xmas glasses on king st. ~ right now.

I've put my very reduced cocktail diet on hiatus for the night, in response to paying for my mechanic's next Caribbean holiday.

Despite the small fortune I've just paid I am soooooooooooo sooooooooooo sooooooooo happy to have my baby back!!! (rental hyundais be damned)

musicfemme ~ those plagues of CT-lespians* are a nuisance aren't they ;)

*said tongue-firmly-in-cheek and begging your pardon lespian neightbours to the south* (l)

edited to add: *waving hellooooo* to adore_me (if she ever checks in this way) who i had the pleasure of bumping in to at the mechanic's this afternoon! it was lovely to see you!

msmoxie

02-13-2008, 04:23 AM

sorz to have missed the pretty pink tini's in the fancy glasses.
BAH to the snowy roads.

yippeee--you, dear lady, get to sleep in this morning as we are delayed til 11.
i of course, must go shovel out my car and get there promptly.
eeep.

but good news, miss robin and all other tini lovers--my meeting was cancelled, so if the roads permit, i'll be at the wig tonight.perhaps even with S1!

cheers in advance--mox

msmox*msmox ~
pretty pink 'tinis in fancyschmany new xmas glasses on king st. ~ right now.

I've put my very reduced cocktail diet on hiatus for the night, in response to paying for my mechanic's next Caribbean holiday.

Despite the small fortune I've just paid I am soooooooooooo sooooooooooo sooooooooo happy to have my baby back!!! (rental hyundais be damned)

musicfemme ~ those plagues of CT-lespians* are a nuisance aren't they ;)

*said tongue-firmly-in-cheek and begging your pardon lespian neightbours to the south* (l)

edited to add: *waving hellooooo* to adore_me (if she ever checks in this way) who i had the pleasure of bumping in to at the mechanic's this afternoon! it was lovely to see you!

msmoxie

02-14-2008, 04:45 AM

well....it sure has been busy here, no? hee.
what, is everyone making valentine's or something?(l)

so. i missed tini night. something about the cold wet rain had me wanting to stay in all wrapped up in layers of fleece.

so i did.

hope y'all had a grand time.

(l)(k)(f) to all the lovers.

xx

boxergal46

02-15-2008, 07:23 AM

Hi all,
I am new to this web site and for the life of me 8o| it is hard to navigate through, lol. Robin you did a great job telling me how to get this far thank you. I live in Florence, work many hours and am looking to meet women and just go have some fun. Tried to go in a chat room but was unable to get there. I have never posted anything so I feel like i am sitting here just talking to myself, lol actually I am..oh well...Calgon take me away. I am going to try to come back tonight and get my gps navigator out to help me, Have a great day all :D

musicfemme

02-15-2008, 07:37 AM

rottflol...
this was such a nonsequitor until i read miss robin's post.

hee hee! I (l) posting random seemingly nonsequitors. And things that are in actuality nonsequitors. Really, I just love the word nonsequitor.

musicfemme ~ those plagues of CT-lespians* are a nuisance aren't they ;)

Damn nuisances! ;)

Hi all,
I am new to this web site and for the life of me 8o| it is hard to navigate through, lol. Robin you did a great job telling me how to get this far thank you. I live in Florence, work many hours and am looking to meet women and just go have some fun. Tried to go in a chat room but was unable to get there. I have never posted anything so I feel like i am sitting here just talking to myself, lol actually I am..oh well...Calgon take me away. I am going to try to come back tonight and get my gps navigator out to help me, Have a great day all :D

Hello, there and wlecome! You are doing just fine.

cicibird

02-15-2008, 09:48 AM

miss robin

02-15-2008, 01:56 PM

So should we make our Wednesday night Wiggins 'tini night on Tuesdays?

Tuesday night, Feb 19, 7:30pm

(b)(d)by the fireplace
at Wiggin's Tavern in the Hotel Northampton

This is who I've decided can make it (because I'm pushy like that ;)):

MsMoxie
S1
LadyC
Dieselfemmediva
Cicibird
Miss Robin
Mister Bone
NHPlowboi
Softness (NHPlow's sweetie)
Boxergal

Musicfemme? Bikerboi, what about you?

Liz? Kelly (Infinitblu)? Ardent? New butches who didn't show up awhile back?

Hi all,
I am new to this web site and for the life of me 8o| it is hard to navigate through, lol. Robin you did a great job telling me how to get this far thank you. I live in Florence, work many hours and am looking to meet women and just go have some fun. Tried to go in a chat room but was unable to get there. I have never posted anything so I feel like i am sitting here just talking to myself, lol actually I am..oh well...Calgon take me away. I am going to try to come back tonight and get my gps navigator out to help me, Have a great day all :D

Hi Boxer. Welcome. Nice first post! You'll get the hang of it and won't feel like you're writing to yourself.

Since you said it was okay, I'm outing you. Boxer is the Official Northampton Post Office Butch. For any of you who frequent the post office, you know who she is. The one who growls NEXT. ;)

Miss Robin

Sophisticated1

02-15-2008, 02:14 PM

So should we make our Wednesday night Wiggins 'tini night on Tuesdays?

Tuesday night, Feb 19, 7:30pm

(b)(d)by the fireplace
at Wiggin's Tavern in the Hotel Northampton

This is who I've decided can make it (because I'm pushy like that ;)):

MsMoxie
S1
LadyC
Dieselfemmediva
Cicibird
Miss Robin
Mister Bone
NHPlowboi
Softness (NHPlow's sweetie)
Boxergal

Miss Robin

LOL:| Well thank goodness somebody has me on a schedule, goodness knows I barely know what time it is never mind what day it is. I am glad to know that my Tuesday nights are free!

^o) but heeey...wait a minute... isn't Tuesday night Ultimate Fighter on Spike TV? :|. Okay okay... I can miss a few fights I supposes. 8-) But you know, there is barely a thing that ties me into any "regular butch" stereotype... I hate watching football, baseball, and basketball, I will never fix my own car, and I can dance. If I give up Ultimate Fighter... I will just be that guy in a tie that likes to do hair and nails and go to the opera...:'(

I'm willing to give it a shot, but I will likely be MIA on title fight nights:D And anyway, I will still have "cowboy throwing" (ok bull riding but I cheer for the bulls and delight at the rider tossed up into the air and under the hooves stuff) * sigh * I know, it sounds so unsophisticated huh? :o

1,S1

softness

02-15-2008, 03:01 PM

I'm willing to give it a shot, but I will likely be MIA on title fight nights:D And anyway, I will still have "cowboy throwing" (ok bull riding but I cheer for the bulls and delight at the rider tossed up into the air and under the hooves stuff) * sigh * I know, it sounds so unsophisticated huh? :o

1,S1

I am as sophisticated a femme as they come and I am all country and love to watch a good rodeo....

hope you do come this week...I am joining you all for the first time with NHPlowBoi...I drove in from NW PA for Valentines Day and am staying around long enough to enjoy this evening out!

S............

boxergal46

02-15-2008, 05:42 PM

Well hello ladies,
Hope everyone had a great day today. Once agsin my GPS navigation system has failed me. I sit here and have no clue how to get to where I posted a note today to even see if their was any responce to it or what might be going on in town :s. I guess calgon has not taken me away as of yet, lol. I sit here once again taking out what I want to say and have no clue if anyone is going to see it or read it for that matter. There has to be an easier way. I know my frustration level just trying to navigate just to get here has been well maybe I shouldn't say :s , anyway I could use more help in trying to find if anyone responded to my lil note this morning and tonight, |-) (help)
Have a pleasant evening...Soft smiles

boxergal46

02-15-2008, 05:45 PM

Ms. Robin that is to cute. :$

scentsofautumn

02-15-2008, 05:51 PM

I could make one of these evenings...it's a different type of gathering of friends...I love that hotel and it is condusive with an atmosphere of closeness that you all are. How about on a weekend? That is a bad day for everyone? Weekday easier? Maybe I could arrange a day off following sometime in the future.

boxergal46

02-16-2008, 04:37 AM

Morning ladies.
Just a quick hello before i go to work. Although I would rather have a get together on a weekend for I work 6 days a week, I can make it Wednesday night at Whiggins and will just have to stop at wal-mart and get some tooth picks to hold my eyes open on thursday :P. Robin if anything changes on the plans for wednesday can you call me and just let me know, i'd appreciate that.
OK ladies have a pleasant day... Boxer

miss robin

02-16-2008, 05:55 AM

Good morning, everyone!

Scents, we could pull something together on a weekend, just say when you can come up. The Tavern is probably too crowded then though.

Boxer, we changed the night to Tuesday to accomodate more schedules:

Tuesday night, Feb 19, 7:30pm

(b)(d)by the fireplace
at Wiggin's Tavern in the Hotel Northampton

Miss Robin

msmoxie

02-16-2008, 07:14 AM

Hi boxergal!

Welcome. if you were trying to land in the noho thread you did. congrats. see you at the wig. apparently now on tues.;)

Well hello ladies,
Hope everyone had a great day today. Once agsin my GPS navigation system has failed me. I sit here and have no clue how to get to where I posted a note today to even see if their was any responce to it or what might be going on in town :s. I guess calgon has not taken me away as of yet, lol. I sit here once again taking out what I want to say and have no clue if anyone is going to see it or read it for that matter. There has to be an easier way. I know my frustration level just trying to navigate just to get here has been well maybe I shouldn't say :s , anyway I could use more help in trying to find if anyone responded to my lil note this morning and tonight, |-) (help)
Have a pleasant evening...Soft smiles

msmoxie

02-16-2008, 07:27 AM

Morning Miss, I mean, Maven of the Northampton Social Schedule.
(That is your offficial subtitle. MIss Robin: Maven of the NSS.I just entitled your biography.)

*sigh* I know Tues work better all around, but I just wanna pout for a quick minute. I like the tini in the mid-week better just because it is exactly mid-week.

ok I'm done now.

ask S1--that's how I "fight".

Happy saturday. It looks nice outside.

xx

Good morning, everyone!

Scents, we could pull something together on a weekend, just say when you can come up. The Tavern is probably too crowded then though.

Boxer, we changed the night to Tuesday to accomodate more schedules:

Tuesday night, Feb 19, 7:30pm

(b)(d)by the fireplace
at Wiggin's Tavern in the Hotel Northampton

Miss Robin

boxergal46

02-16-2008, 04:11 PM

Good evening all,
Tuesday evening will be just fine 7:30 by the fire place. mmmm sounds cozy. I have never been there. Ms Robin and Ms Moxy (f) ty for the reply. Hey what do you know I think I am getting the hang of this. (snickering) Did anyone look up in the sky and see the sun and the (S) out at the same time, it was beautiful I couldn't figure out if I was coming or going, lol. Hope everyone has a pleasant evening (k)
Boxer

OutlawDaddy

02-17-2008, 04:11 PM

TransCampus at Holyoke Community College

LINK to Berkshire Stonewall Coalition (http://www.berkshirestonewall.org/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=41&Itemid=51&limit=1&limitstart=1)

A series of events about transgender people and trans-inclusion

2/19: The Social Lens: Transgender in the Broader Context of Diversity. 2:30p.m., Kittredge Center 226

2/20: Panel of Transgender People. 12:30 p.m., Kittredge Center 301

3/4: Examining Personal Views on Trans Issues and Gender Normative Privilege. 2:30 p.m., Kittredge Center 226

3/11: Creating an Inclusive Campus Climate. 2:30 p.m., Kittredge Center 226

3/25: Becoming a Trans Ally. 2:30 p.m., Kittredge Center 226

For more information: Vivian at vostrowski@hcc.mass.eduThis e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it or T at
tpetti@hcc.mass.edu

Mass Live Link (http://www.masslive.com/westfieldplus/republican/index.ssf?/base/news-0/1202804535304180.xml&coll=1)

Holyoke Community College Link (http://www.hcc.edu/pop-up/WeeksEvents.html)

boxergal46

02-18-2008, 04:43 AM

Good morning ladies,
Hope everyone is enjoying the weekend and the holiday.
SS.....Boxer

miss robin

02-18-2008, 06:42 AM

Morning Miss, I mean, Maven of the Northampton Social Schedule.
(That is your offficial subtitle. MIss Robin: Maven of the NSS.I just entitled your biography.)

*sigh* I know Tues work better all around, but I just wanna pout for a quick minute. I like the tini in the mid-week better just because it is exactly mid-week.

ok I'm done now.

ask S1--that's how I "fight".

Happy saturday. It looks nice outside.

xx

MsMoxie, you, my dear, suggested Tuesday night because you said Thurs night was TV night. Tomorrow night I'm blowing off a synagogue Board meeting to have 'tinis. And do I ever love those Board meetings! |-) (that would be the yawn icon, not the blow job island icon -- though I know it serves a double purpose).

Miss Robin

boxergal46

02-18-2008, 03:24 PM

Evening ladies,
Well, just got home from work and came on here and played around with some links. I figured out how to look slide shows that are on here and look at other rooms. Ms Robin I saw some of your erotica writings. Interisting are you in the leather life style? I enjoyed reading then except I think (only my oppinion) that your writings be of 2 women and not a man and a woman. I feel women would just stagger to your writings if you did that :$ . Well, I will see you all tomorrow night by the fire place @ around 7:30 or 7:45. Have a good evening and sweet dreams...
Boxer

cicibird

02-18-2008, 05:06 PM

musicfemme

02-18-2008, 05:48 PM

miss robin

02-18-2008, 05:53 PM

Ms Robin I saw some of your erotica writings. I enjoyed reading then except I think (only my oppinion) that your writings be of 2 women and not a man and a woman.

Boxer,
I've only ever written butch/femme (female/female) porn.

On b/f.com, or among butches and femmes or queers in real life, butches are sometimes referred to as "he." You'll get the hang of butch/femme-speak as you spend more time on the site.

I first saw male pronouns used for butches about 12 years ago on the Internet. It was easier to distinguish butches from femmes by using he and she, but for a lot of butches it's also really validating to be the "men" among all us females. By that I don't mean males or ftms or transgendered men, but as a way to say, "hey, in our world you're really masculine to my feminine and you can be "he" and I can be "she."

Also, I see that you address us all as "ladies." On the site you'll find that many butches (maybe even most?) don't want to be referred to as ladies, girls, or sometimes even women. The Northampton group is too relaxed to bust you for that although there are butches here who don't identify with those terms (like Rob, who is Stone_to_Bone on the site, and my irritating ex who you see in the post office).

But don't take any of this too hard. We all come from different traditions. And some people are young enough where their identity is really formed on the Internet, and others lived lives as out queers for decades before any Internet came along. The Internet creates a whole other logic and language that'll just blow your mind.

See you tomorrow night.

Miss Robin

Lady C Sparkle

02-18-2008, 07:00 PM

Sophisticated1

02-18-2008, 07:06 PM

Welcome to the thread boxergal & all other new people!

I doubt I'll be able to join you tomorrow evening (though I'd love to meet musicfemme's pop), I have a crazy few weeks with travel and envisage loooooong nights at the office the few days I'm there (like tomorrow).

Maybe the week after next....

Have fun, keep the fire toasty.

Well dash it all! By the time we are graced with your presence good Lady, it will be summer and the thought of the heat from a fire will be far to overwhelming! ;)

Hey, Musicfemme you think your dad will like the place?

I am imagining that the mox and I will be there as whatever sickness that had landed on us weems to have lifted! Yay! I will check it out with her.

Enjoy your evening all!

1, S1

Lady C Sparkle

02-18-2008, 07:18 PM

Well dash it all! By the time we are graced with your presence good Lady, it will be summer and the thought of the heat from a fire will be far to overwhelming! ;)

I know. I know. I'm horrible ~ I detest the winter & all this bad-4-my-shoes weather.

But OHHHHHHHHHHHH the mere mention of summer................ sigh.................(ip)

Mid-weeks are difficult for me during the busy parts of the semester (which would be ohhhhhh now until forever....)(.....or summer, whichever comes first).

But I will see you two lovelies ~ for the prodigal rock(*) sons' premier at Pearl Street!

And to quote our lovely local lady of verse Ms. Dickinson
"Every mile is two in winter"

musicfemme

02-18-2008, 07:24 PM

Hey, Musicfemme you think your dad will like the place?

Yes, I think he would like it a lot.

msmoxie

02-18-2008, 07:32 PM

I KNOW! I did! I said that! (a)

And I do like Wed better...just, just, just just BECAUSE. I just DO. Silly, silly me.

I like Wed better for myself, but Tues seems to be better for the masses, and i can be flexible! Especially if it means deiselfemmediva and others can join us...

At any rate, I am sure that there will be times when many of us gather, and when less of us gather....TV or no TV....Wed is Project Runway, and Thursday is Greys and ER. We might not all be able to get there every week.

See you tomorrow. I owe you one.

xx mox

MsMoxie, you, my dear, suggested Tuesday night because you said Thurs night was TV night. Tomorrow night I'm blowing off a synagogue Board meeting to have 'tinis. And do I ever love those Board meetings! |-) (that would be the yawn icon, not the blow job island icon -- though I know it serves a double purpose).

Miss Robin

msmoxie

02-18-2008, 07:36 PM

every mile is FOUR when it rains on top of ice and slush and all the students take your paid parking spaces and you have to TREK forever in it just to report to work and pray pray double pray that you don't get ticketed (again)for being in your unassigned spot.

bloodyfrikkinholidaysatumass. 8o|

on a far more pleasant note, see you soon, i do hope!!(k)(f)(l)

I know. I know. I'm horrible ~ I detest the winter & all this bad-4-my-shoes weather.

But OHHHHHHHHHHHH the mere mention of summer................ sigh.................(ip)

Mid-weeks are difficult for me during the busy parts of the semester (which would be ohhhhhh now until forever....)(.....or summer, whichever comes first).

But I will see you two lovelies ~ for the prodigal rock(*) sons' premier at Pearl Street!

And to quote our lovely local lady of verse Ms. Dickinson
"Every mile is two in winter"

msmoxie

02-18-2008, 07:42 PM

then he should join, at least for a bit!

last week i almost brought a straight friend. but didn't because our meeting was cancelled due to the weather and i felt exhausted and frazzled and icky crabby crampy cold and clammy and antisocial anyway.

right. butch-femme- family friends or not--who wants cocktails with THAT kinda company?!

so if your dad doesn't have a veritable biohazardous sticker on his forehead like i did last week, he should join us!
:)

Yes, I think he would like it a lot.

Stone_to_bone

02-18-2008, 10:01 PM

Hi musicfemme

I've been thinking for a few minutes about how to say this gently--My personal feeling is that because this is a butch-femme event we've tried to coordinate, it would be best to try to keep the invite list to butches and femmes.

I, for one, would enjoy meeting your father if we ran into you on the street or saw you out at a restaurant but would really value, after being surrounded by straight men for 50 hours a week at work, just spending time with my b-f friends at Wiggins Tavern.

I think the presence of a straight bioman (I don't mean to reduce your father to a gender factoid, but I want to differentiate between biomen and transguys here) necessarily changes the whole dynamic of our gathering and would certainly inhibit me in various ways.

Would people mind if we kept this to butches and femmes?

STB

I am still up in the air about whether or not I am going to pop up at the fire and enjoy a martini tomorrow night.

How would folks feel if I brought my Dad with me? He's very interesting and also queer-friendly and in town from Florida--so that would be the main thing stopping me.

musicfemme

02-18-2008, 10:06 PM

Well, if it will really bother you that much we won't come.

Stone_to_bone

02-18-2008, 10:10 PM

Well, if it will really bother you that much we won't come.

Well, its not so much about being bothered per se, its more about wanting to take time to create a certain kind of gathering. I would like to see you, music, and I know its hard to balance seeing your friends and hanging out with your father who's visting, but I just felt like it was worth saying that b-f "space" is rare and hard to create.

I really hope you understand. I certainly don't want to seem unwelcoming to you, or to anyone else on the site but I felt like since you asked, I should be honest.

STB

miss robin

02-18-2008, 10:13 PM

Well, if it will really bother you that much we won't come.

I agree that meeting your father, or any friend's father, is perfectly fine in mixed company, but I don't want to socialize with a straight man, who is probably around my age, at a butch/femme gathering. It's not about the person himself, but that I would be inhibited in ways I'm not when we're just among ourselves. It's nice that your father is visiting you though!

We're going to have the gatherings every week and I hope you can make the next one.

Miss Robin

Sophisticated1

02-18-2008, 11:04 PM

I guess I rather assumed that everyone knows it is a BF gathering and that none of us would invite a person that we thought would not respect that. I personally don’t need to know that everyone there is “one of us” as long as I know that they are supportive and friendly. Clearly the tone, culture, and ambiance of the evening if you will, is set by the BF majority. One person who is not “one of us” wouldn’t really change the game for me personally.

Its just my opinion. ANYWAY, enough said for me.

I will be there, looking forward to seeing others in front of the fire.

S1

tbear

02-18-2008, 11:05 PM

I agree that meeting your father, or any friend's father, is perfectly fine in mixed company, but I don't want to socialize with a straight man, who is probably around my age, at a butch/femme gathering. It's not about the person himself, but that I would be inhibited in ways I'm not when we're just among ourselves. It's nice that your father is visiting you though!

We're going to have the gatherings every week and I hope you can make the next one.

Miss Robin

Holy cow! How do you all expect allies and the like to learn and grow with our community if you only marginalize their understanding of us? I never expected Northampton people to be so closed minded.

MusicFemme - I hope that you and your father have a wonderful time hanging out together.

boxergal46

02-19-2008, 02:34 AM

I was always under the impression that Miss Robin's erotica involved two females...?
Cici, it does , my bad

boxergal46

02-19-2008, 02:49 AM

msmoxie

02-19-2008, 04:54 AM

I say this as gently as i can, and i say it with respect and friendship to every single one of us.

I understand the importance of butch-femme-queer space. I also undertand the importance of community and friendships and family and the difficulty of navigating strengthening and emboldening our ties with one another given that we might all not live close to those we love and that we all lead busy lives and have complicated schedules and varied obligations. Even among those of us who live within a few miles of one another and are all queer.

Gathering or no gathering, we can bump into each other on the street, and we do.

I would hope that any person I have an interest in my friends meeting would be a welcome addition to a gathering. I pick my friends and love them and my family based on who they are, and how they love and treat me and the important people in my life, not how they identify, and I would hope that my friends or family are given the benefit of the doubt, as is my judgement in inviting them. I especially would be excited to meet a queer-ally parent or family member of any of my friends....we have so many sad stories of being excluded from our families, to be embraced by them is a wonderful gift.

Musicfemme, I hope you have a lovely visit with your father.
(l)mox

miss robin

02-19-2008, 06:39 AM

Clearly we all have different ideas of how we construct community. I need a breather from some populations so I can feel reified among others, which is why I've been so insistent about creating a b/f gathering.

I do choose groups, such as this web site, based on specificity. You all chose this site for the same reason. And once in a specific group, I discuss, and learn, and meet people, and maybe teach and be entertaining, and have a whole host of experiences that I don't when I'm in the general population.

And when I'm with different groups, I act differently in ways that I enjoy or I wouldn't seek out the group. In our b/f group I'm more easy-going, high-spirited and flirtatious, talkative, less self-conscious than I am when I'm around straight people, especially men.

My impulse is to bow out tonight. I don't like tension. I feel like just saying fuck it, let them have the dad and their drinks, I'll find community elsewhere. But there's just some huge irony in being silenced as a queer and a woman so that a male can attend a b/f gathering. Also, a new couple are coming down from NH and a new butch from our area will be there, and I think it's rude for me not be there when I said I would.

I also know, based on my age and observations and the history of consciousness, that the presence of a straight male will alter the dynamics of our group. With new people coming, I would like to offer them a place to share their identities and desires and whatever else comes up without being hindered.

Miss Robin
p.s. Tbear, I do not exist as a teaching tool. People who want to learn about populations that are not theirs can find zillions of resources designed to teach them. But talk about exclusive: How about the many trans groups in the Valley? They advertise closed meetings, and generally are not for anyone but transmen. Have you busted them? Why not send them this comment: "How do you all expect allies and the like to learn and grow with our community if you only marginalize their understanding of us? I never expected Northampton people to be so closed minded."

musicfemme

02-19-2008, 08:07 AM

[B][COLOR=#483d8b]My impulse is to bow out tonight. I don't like tension. I feel like just saying fuck it, let them have the dad and their drinks, I'll find community elsewhere. But there's just some huge irony in being silenced as a queer and a woman so that a male can attend a b/f gathering. Also, a new couple are coming down from NH and a new butch from our area will be there, and I think it's rude for me not be there when I said I would.

I also know, based on my age and observations and the history of consciousness, that the presence of a straight male will alter the dynamics of our group. With new people coming, I would like to offer them a place to share their identities and desires and whatever else comes up without being hindered.

With all due respect Robin, how on EARTH are you being silenced exactly? Before you even said anything about how you felt, based on Rob's post alone, I replied and said if it was a problem my Dad and I wouldn't come. He is not being forced on you, so please don't try and act like you are being "silenced" just so a straight male can come to the gathering. I am not forcing my Dad on anyone, ok? I have my own feelings on the matter but I didn't even say anything based on the fact that I had no desire to even get into it, or react out of defensiveness, let alone bring my Dad somewhere he was not going to be welcomed and where other people would be uncomfortable with his presence. Clearly, other folks had their opinions on the matter and voiced them in what, to me, appears to be a pretty respectful way. They disagree with you. They are allowed. It doesn't equate with you being silenced or my Dad being forced on you in any way because I already very clearly stated we would not be coming if it was a problem. You win. I am not even fighting it. And you seem as vocal as ever--so please don't play the "Oh, I am being silenced as a queer woman just so a straight bio-male can attend a b/f gathering" card.

And just as a by the way, it's quite an assumption on your part that my Dad is in fact straight. He could just as easily be gay or bi or pansexual or trans or any other host of things.

tbear

02-19-2008, 08:21 AM

Tbear, I do not exist as a teaching tool. People who want to learn about populations that are not theirs can find zillions of resources designed to teach them. But talk about exclusive: How about the many trans groups in the Valley? They advertise closed meetings, and generally are not for anyone but transmen. Have you busted them? Why not send them this comment: "[/B]How do you all expect allies and the like to learn and grow with our community if you only marginalize their understanding of us? I never expected Northampton people to be so closed minded."
[/COLOR]

I would believe that the groups that you are suggesting are support groups for transmen. (Which by the way I do not attended) Yet, support groups exist in very tight closed spaces. The gathering that you were referring to was going to be drinks at a bar. Very different things.
And for your information, I DO speak out about exclusivity in all areas. Just ask any transguy who does not share my thoughts about camp trans vs. michigan.
As for your initial comment, you are a teaching tool whether you like it or not. How you act in soceity teaches others on a daily basis. You teach kids, you teach elders. We all do.

Stone_to_bone

02-19-2008, 08:46 AM

Mox

I just wanted to respond to a few points you made.

I would hope that any person I have an interest in my friends meeting would be a welcome addition to a gathering. I pick my friends and love them and my family based on who they are, and how they love and treat me and the important people in my life, not how they identify, and I would hope that my friends or family are given the benefit of the doubt, as is my judgement in inviting them. I especially would be excited to meet a queer-ally parent or family member of any of my friends....we have so many sad stories of being excluded from our families, to be embraced by them is a wonderful gift.

(l)mox

If I was having a cookout or a gathering in my home, where there's space and room to move around and have several different things going on at once, I would be much more amenable to a friend bringing along a their father, even if it was, as this is, a butch-femme event. There's something about the low-ceilinged, dark little cave of that space that inspires intimacy and conversation.

I simply speak differently, act differently and am way less relaxed in the presence of biomen. Is it necessarily a mean/unwelcoming thing to want to create an event that's exclusive? Friends and family are great and I like meeting the families of the people I know, but the time and place seems off on this one.

Musicfemme asked "how we would feel if she brought her father" and that's why I answered the way I did, by talking about how I would feel in that situation. The very fact that we can talk this much about it, that there was a response beyond a simple "I understand" when one of us answered Musicfemme's question, is itself indicative of just how hard it is not only for us to form community but for us to allow ourselves community.

Here are some things to think about: If this was a gathering of women who had created a women's group and were meeting in part bc they enjoy the freedom of being in a group of other women and meeting new women, would it jive for someone to bring their dad along? Even if he really liked women? I wouldn't bring Robin's grown son to a b-f gathering now in the same way we did when he was little bc even though we know him to be a queer-loving, appropriately-behaving young man, other people there don't know who he is and how he lives and might feel uncomfortable to see a bioman in their group.

Why are we so hesitant to allow ourselves to be exclusive? Especially when lots of us, myself included, spend alot of our lives educating and being welcoming to straight people, either directly or just through the way we live our lives, looking the way we do, loving who we do, creating the families we create.

I look forward to these gatherings bc they are one of a few places where I relax and feel at ease. My radar for men acting weirdly towards me or staring at my femme friends goes down for the evening. I don't have to be defended in the way that I am all day, every day in the world at large. In that bigger world we have no choice but to be around a lot of men all day long. In these worlds we create, we do have choice.

Its for that reason that I answered music's question honestly. Its more my speed to be direct and prepared to converse about my ideas than it is to just say ok to everything and feel resentful later. And to be really honest, I don't want to meet people only on the basis of their queerfriendliness. I want to meet people, straight or queer, because they're interesting and have interesting ideas and lives. And on Tuesday evenings at Wiggins I would love to meet other queers.

STB

PearlsNLace

02-19-2008, 08:57 AM

Lady C Sparkle

02-19-2008, 09:30 AM

well this is a fine.........

storm in a teacup.

cicibird, thank you for the lovely comment - i hope to meet you soon too.

for those that cocktail tonight ~ enjoy.

Sophisticated1

02-19-2008, 09:46 AM

Good Lady Sparkle, “storm in a teacup indeed! Hoping to change the weather pattern, and keep the china from breaking

So, hum yes, this is uncomfortable. Might I offer this suggestion:

Yes we all have our different opinions on the subject and I don’t think that folks are going to be changing those opinions anytime soon. Given that, I don’t think it is going to be very productive or cordial to keep hashing it out here in a public forum because as everybody explains their particular point of view on the subject things are likely to escalate into something entirely unnecessary and ugly.

Discussing the matter in person, if one is of a mind to continue the conversation would, I think be preferable. Venting and expounding on line is easy, and its ease frequently elicits comments that we would be less inclined to share with an individual in person. It not only broadcasts the issue to the entire internet world but it may very well make permanent and public expressions and feelings that we may regret down the road.

I (as always) have a lot to say on the matter, but I am not going to share it here. More than happy to share in person though. I am not a thread boss or a social gathering boss or a boss of any kind, but I would implore people to now please, refrain from escalating or exacerbating the matter any further here on line. We are all so close in proximity, explaining, justifying, objecting, protesting, etc., might be better done in private or at least not on the thread.

That is all I have to say on the matter. Onward and upward.

1, S1

Sophisticated1

02-19-2008, 12:26 PM

Good morning all,
First of all I hope no one took offence to my refering to all of you as ladies, if you did i'm sorry. Some of us were just brought up that way. Second, my friend Ms. Robin, my bad on your writings, yes some of us do refer to ourselvs as he. Where the hell was my head at, I was tired and had just gotten off of work, didn't take the time to think and opened my mouth and inserted my foot. My appoligies :$. Now I have to get ready for work, lol. See you's tonight.
Boxer

Hey there boxer,

LOL No worries really on the terminology. It takes a while to become acclimated to all of the nuances and new and or tilted meanings that certain words and phrases take on in these parts. (Though it has been ages since anyone addressed me as a lady! ;))

I look forward to meeting you tonight.

(b)Slainte! (oh and since we are clarifying, its “cheers” in Gaelic)

1, S1

miss robin

02-19-2008, 01:17 PM

S1, thank you for your reasoned suggestion that this not be hashed out further on here.

Without reopening worm cans, I want to acknowlege StB's post. He made valuable points and asked great questions.

Is it necessarily a mean/unwelcoming thing to want to create an event that's exclusive?

...The very fact that we can talk this much about it, that there was a response beyond a simple "I understand" when one of us answered Musicfemme's question, is itself indicative of just how hard it is not only for us to form community but for us to allow ourselves community.

Here are some things to think about: If this was a gathering of women who had created a women's group and were meeting in part bc they enjoy the freedom of being in a group of other women and meeting new women, would it jive for someone to bring their dad along? Even if he really liked women?

I wouldn't bring Robin's grown son to a b-f gathering now in the same way we did when he was little bc even though we know him to be a queer-loving, appropriately-behaving young man, other people there don't know who he is and how he lives and might feel uncomfortable to see a bioman in their group.

Why are we so hesitant to allow ourselves to be exclusive? Especially when lots of us, myself included, spend alot of our lives educating and being welcoming to straight people, either directly or just through the way we live our lives, looking the way we do, loving who we do, creating the families we create.

I look forward to these gatherings bc they are one of a few places where I relax and feel at ease.

I don't have to be defended in the way that I am all day, every day in the world at large. In that bigger world we have no choice but to be around a lot of men all day long.

In these worlds we create, we do have choice.

Its for that reason that I answered music's question honestly. Its more my speed to be direct and prepared to converse about my ideas than it is to just say ok to everything and feel resentful later. And to be really honest, I don't want to meet people only on the basis of their queerfriendliness. I want to meet people, straight or queer, because they're interesting and have interesting ideas and lives. And on Tuesday evenings at Wiggins I would love to meet other queers.

STB

Thank you for taking the time to think about all that and write about it.

Miss Robin

miss robin

02-19-2008, 01:22 PM

Hey everybody,

Coach T and I are interested in something that might happen on a weekend. Hope we can bring the baby butch (shes 17) too?

the baby fag (hes 18) can stay at home with his baby fag hag (also 18) and spend many silly hours hoping that Mama Pearls will in fact take them to see Rocky Horror Picture show, soon. As promised.

Weekdays just wont work for the driving. But we really want to meet everyone:)

~Pearls

Pearls,
ScentsofAutumn also mentioned on the thread wanting to come up on a weekend. I'm all for it. Maybe we should plan an afternoon event -- a brunch or afternoon tea. I'd have to think of where since it should be a place that accomodates a group.

Anyone have suggestions?

Miss Robin

PearlsNLace

02-19-2008, 02:57 PM

An afternoon weekend would be soooo fabulous, really. If I knew the area better, Id even host! But since this new england area is still kinda new to me, I dont even know a decent place to eat around there.

But, yes yeS YES! to the idea :)

Sophisticated1

02-19-2008, 03:15 PM

Pearls,
ScentsofAutumn also mentioned on the thread wanting to come up on a weekend. I'm all for it. Maybe we should plan an afternoon event -- a brunch or afternoon tea. I'd have to think of where since it should be a place that accomodates a group.

Anyone have suggestions?

Miss Robin

Didn't we do a sunday brunch at the Depot a while back?

miss robin

02-19-2008, 03:25 PM

Didn't we do a sunday brunch at the Depot a while back?

Oh, that's right! That was a good place because there was a lot of food and a lot of room.

(I'll be right back) ....

It's Union Station. Here's the link for brunch. It's $16.95 per person.

http://www.unionstationrestaurant.com/design/index.php?sv=9&sm=7

Are people interested in this? If so, why don't we pick a Sunday -- maybe March 2nd or 9th? -- I'll gather names and call for a reservation.

Miss Robin

nhplowboi

02-19-2008, 03:36 PM

(d)(au):D(a)

Sophisticated1

02-19-2008, 03:44 PM

(d)(au):D(a)

8-) Ummm. Trying to decipher the hidden message
Lets see

This means you think drinking and driving is funny and innocent?
No.. wait maybe it reads like Hebrew:
Angelic types are happy when they drive with a martini?
No that can’t be it.. hummm ^o)

miss robin

02-19-2008, 04:18 PM

No.. wait maybe it reads like Hebrew:

(laughing!) Maybe it's an S.O.S.: Martinis Ho!. Car Departs NH. Happy Butch at Wheel. Sweet Femme Alongside.

Miss. Robin.

msmoxie

02-19-2008, 07:08 PM

I get it--all of it.
and i agree--exclusive space is special and does not neccessarily equal "mean".
i never mentioned anything about "mean."
and i guess i never thought of our gatherings as "exclusive" to bf-ers

cheers --very ssonn in fact!!
mox

Mox

I just wanted to respond to a few points you made.

If I was having a cookout or a gathering in my home, where there's space and room to move around and have several different things going on at once, I would be much more amenable to a friend bringing along a their father, even if it was, as this is, a butch-femme event. There's something about the low-ceilinged, dark little cave of that space that inspires intimacy and conversation.

I simply speak differently, act differently and am way less relaxed in the presence of biomen. Is it necessarily a mean/unwelcoming thing to want to create an event that's exclusive? Friends and family are great and I like meeting the families of the people I know, but the time and place seems off on this one.

Musicfemme asked "how we would feel if she brought her father" and that's why I answered the way I did, by talking about how I would feel in that situation. The very fact that we can talk this much about it, that there was a response beyond a simple "I understand" when one of us answered Musicfemme's question, is itself indicative of just how hard it is not only for us to form community but for us to allow ourselves community.

Here are some things to think about: If this was a gathering of women who had created a women's group and were meeting in part bc they enjoy the freedom of being in a group of other women and meeting new women, would it jive for someone to bring their dad along? Even if he really liked women? I wouldn't bring Robin's grown son to a b-f gathering now in the same way we did when he was little bc even though we know him to be a queer-loving, appropriately-behaving young man, other people there don't know who he is and how he lives and might feel uncomfortable to see a bioman in their group.

Why are we so hesitant to allow ourselves to be exclusive? Especially when lots of us, myself included, spend alot of our lives educating and being welcoming to straight people, either directly or just through the way we live our lives, looking the way we do, loving who we do, creating the families we create.

I look forward to these gatherings bc they are one of a few places where I relax and feel at ease. My radar for men acting weirdly towards me or staring at my femme friends goes down for the evening. I don't have to be defended in the way that I am all day, every day in the world at large. In that bigger world we have no choice but to be around a lot of men all day long. In these worlds we create, we do have choice.

Its for that reason that I answered music's question honestly. Its more my speed to be direct and prepared to converse about my ideas than it is to just say ok to everything and feel resentful later. And to be really honest, I don't want to meet people only on the basis of their queerfriendliness. I want to meet people, straight or queer, because they're interesting and have interesting ideas and lives. And on Tuesday evenings at Wiggins I would love to meet other queers.

STB

msmoxie

02-20-2008, 04:35 AM

Good morning Everyone!
It was great to see some old and new faces last evening at the Wig.

Next time I'll have to dress to keep up with my oh so sophisticated date. Damn, those shoes! (k)(l)

I am still THRILLED I didn't have to work supa-late and then supa-early so I could join the tini's. 7am is early enough for me. The prospect of 4 am is enough to make me consider selling my soul. I won't be over it for days. (shudder)

And apologies to STB and all--.
note to self--often it is best to read to the end of a thread during a particularly interesting turn of events before posting!

:s:$ whoopsie. ((great points, S1. and better shoes. and that tie! *sigh*))

But I must say, good for us for not inviting nor compelling the company of the fruits.
We can exist and survive and carry on amidst disagreements.
Yay Noho.

Onward, forward, and away from anything that brews bubbles and storms in teapots...

(l)mox

softness

02-20-2008, 08:01 AM

I just want to thank evenyone for being so warm and inviting to this newcomer. I cant tell you when I had a more pleasant evening out with "strangers"! Which of course, now I dont feel you are! Come better weather, NHPB and I would love this wonderful group to come to the farm and enjoy the land and the animals. Goats included, right, NHPB??? (soft laugh)

I loved meeting each and every one of you and am so happy I can put faces to the screen names. MIss Robin, I assume you organized this original event? To you I raise my glass in cheers...community is so important and to offer this tender opportunity for us to laugh and sociolize together, well, here is to you............

teddybearbutch

02-20-2008, 10:09 AM

I am still up in the air about whether or not I am going to pop up at the fire and enjoy a martini tomorrow night.

How would folks feel if I brought my Dad with me? He's very interesting and also queer-friendly and in town from Florida--so that would be the main thing stopping me.

MusicFemme

You and I have not posted to one another in almost a yr and half so I hope you dont take offense of me speaking of this matter.

I know you asked how the ppl who were going to meet that nite how they would feel if you showed up your dad. I was amazed at how some responded at the opportunity to meet a SUPPORTER of the community. Without asking the 1st question about him. You were correct in the fact that they had NO clue as to whether ya dad was a bio male or not. WHICH you never did tell them however it really is NONE of thier business.

I have met your parents and I think they both are really great ppl who are an ASSET to the community as supporters which we dont have many of.

Yes I understand that we all want and need space to define our community however it isnt like every day, week or meeting of this group does someone ask to bring someone who isnt a butch or femme or trans person. We all complain that ppl look or act rudely towards us yet when given the opportunity to show them we arent strange or freakish some want to hide who we are. All this does is KEEP this kind of thinking among ppl who are NOT part of the B-F community.

I am proud of the few who ARENT afraid to let ppl who arent B-Fers see and interact with us. To those who want exclusivetivity(sp) how do you really expect to be accepted for who you are and how you CHOOSE to live your life?

There is a reason why I dont mingle much with some who are on this thread for the fact they act like if you DONT agree with or ask them to think outside of their box you have committed some criminal act. I like alot of ppl on this list and really enjoy reading the post however I really dont like separatist and those who really want to keep it that way.and there are several among this group.

I know this isnt going to sit well with some however this is MY opinion and only my opinon and Im expecting some to say something how I stepped on thier toes. Remember other toes where stepped on before I ever posted my opinion.

MusicFemme I hope you and your father have a great visit and he has a safe trip home.

Sophisticated1

02-20-2008, 11:27 AM

Happy Wednesday to everybody!

Just for clarity sake. On some general topics that folks have mentioned

Disagreement
Hello Teddybearbutch. I personally love it when folks disagree with me, (albeit respectfully and civilly) it makes the conversation interesting. My outlook: bring on the discourse. I will mingle with anyone who is friendly and respectful of others.:)

Rules, regulations and or expectations
General disclaimer about 1, S1: I am not a card carrying member of any officially sanctioned group, and as such I neither make, follow, sanction, observe or bend to any group think rules or restrictions expectations or assumptions. I never have, and never will sign on any dotted line regarding who, what, where, or when I will associate with anybody. I act as I please, go where I wish, say what I think, make my own decisions about the company I keep and make absolutely no guarantees to anyone about who or what my social companions may ‘be’. If that ruffles feathers, well, then let the chips fall where they may. That is the wildcard nature of S1. :D

New Folks & Community
Hey softness, it was nice to meet you last night. You said in your post that “community is so important” I couldn’t agree more. Ours is quite varied in opinions and outlooks. So it is grand, as there is likely something for everyone. I am glad you enjoyed yourself last night and hope we get to see more of you in future. Boxer, nice to meet you as well.

Shoes!
Msmoxie I think you are a wee bit biased, but I will most willing your flattering remarks! And really, score one for the butches. For once, the fabulous shoe conversation included a pair of butch shoes! Lol Lady C Sparkle you should have been there! Of course now I feel as though I have to meet shoe expectations and I fear that I may not be able to consistently do! But thank you for the compliments anyway! Miss Robin Your shoes were fierce! I think our shoes went well together, though not as a pair to be worn as one!:s

And lastly…
Wiggins
I love Wiggins tavern, and I really like how nice and friendly the bartender is! Props for Michelle! Yeah whooo hooo! (y)

Hope everyone is having a great day,

Slainte
1, S1

miss robin

02-20-2008, 11:46 AM

miss robin

02-20-2008, 12:01 PM

Softness, it was great to meet you last night. I really enjoyed chatting with both you and NHPB. A spring event at the farm sounds like a blast! Though I will have to wear different shoes, as will S1 in those phat and phar out ostrich/crocodile treads (h)

Boxer it was great to socialize with you and hear the wild tales of a post office butch. You're so energetic!

Cicibird, thank you for bringing you smartyskirt friend. I loved her zest! I wish she were around to come back again. I read the Judy fanzines. Hilarious! We'll have you over for dinner soon so you don't have to suffer college food for one night.

Infinitblu, so nice to see you! I'm glad you're a regular. Bring back that handsome young butch again.

Biker! What a really nice surprise. It's always great to see you. Thank you for coming.

MxMoxie, mwah! and S1: you guys are just plain old hot. I love your company.

Mister Bone, good stories! You make me laugh, and think. (l)

Miss Robin

infinitblu

02-20-2008, 02:14 PM

Hey everyone!

I had a great time last night just chatting by the fire. Thank you all for being so warm, receptive, and so damn good looking.

Speaking of good looking, thanks so much for organizing the gathering last night, miss robin. It was, as always, wonderful to see you.

I'll invite the hot butch to any and all subsequent gatherings until she zeros her cross-hairs in on her next victim:)

Lady C Sparkle

02-20-2008, 07:21 PM

Message of Intent (for what it's worth)

The new weekly social group is a small group of butches and femmes who meet once a week in a quiet close space that lends itself to intimacy. The idea for this group sprang from two b/f couples on the site who thought -- since we write on here to one another and live in the same town -- we should get-together more often.

It did not start as, nor is it intended to be, a support group, an informational group, or an educational meeting.

At our three gatherings so far, the group has been butches and femmes from the site, or who are interested in the site. We talk about a lot of issues that come up on the site -- such as relationships, gender, identity, sex -- and we speak about them uninhibitedly.

Since I am the one who has been promoting the weekly gathering, I could easily have emailed only friends but the site seemed an easy way to invite and meet new butches and femmes in the area.

I should also add that I have been trying to pull together a b/f social group for years. In the Pioneer Valley there are six social groups for transmen alone, a handful for lesbians, and none for butches and femmes. In 2005 and 2006, I co-created a butch/femme weekend in Northampton that was well attended and a lot of fun. My time and heart are in this because sometimes it's just nice to get together socially with a group who share the same unique status in the world that you do.

Miss Robin

See, Robin, this post says more (to me) than what you originally posted in response to musicfemmes's question about her father, which read (to me) as::::

"...if you don't agree with me i'll stomp off and find community somewhere else"
/paraphrase.

That interpretation, which i derived from your post, says (to me):
"Stroppy-madame: My Way or NO-WAY."

(which illicits from me: an eyebrow raise of such height as to require surgery to correct.)

As to the issue of b-f exclusivity:

I don't feel the same need for either a woman-only or a butch-femme-only space, though I both recognise and understand what Rob was articulating.

Just because I don't need it, doesn't mean I don't get it.
I get it.

I just don't agree.
I, personally, don't have the same needs.
And that is okay.

We can have different needs regarding community and still have a community.

My problem with the conflict that reared its ugly head,.......... was the presumption that the voices of those against an integrated group had more influence than the voices of people who had no problem with an integrated group.

And the use of emotionally charged language to be emphatic to the point of manipulating the outcome of attendance.

The people against having a mixed group voiced their reasons, and those who were in favour also voiced their reasons.

A consensus was not arrived at.
Though it felt we were erring rather quickly toward an ultimatum.

Nobody on this list "owns" the community.

And if anyone feels a sense of proprietorship over THIS community OR a specific social evening on a specific night at a specific locale with a specific group of people, I think it best that be articulated sooner - rather than later.

And with the express understanding that *not* everyone in the community, that participates in *this* thread, agrees with or desires a social evening that is butch-femme or queer exclusive ONLY.

musicfemme

02-20-2008, 08:12 PM

I have to say I am really pretty disgusted with how this entire thing played out.

I asked if it would be ok for me to bring my father out of respect in case anyone would have felt uncomfortable. Out of respect, when ONE person expressed being uncomfortable with the idea--I said we would not come. I didn't want even ONE PERSON to be uncomfortable.

I didn't argue, I didn't fight it, I didn't even voice my opinion. I RESPECTED THE FACT THAT ROB SAID HE WOULD BE UNCOMFORTABLE. A couple other people voiced an opnion on the other side. And then I get treated to a couple diatribes about exclusive space and how a queer woman is being silenced so a straight man can attend a b/f event. Robin, that was so beyond over the top it isn't even funny. As was your "oh, well my inclination is to go find community elsewhere". Really? Just because I asked if folks would be ok with me bringing my Dad, and backed off the minute one person expressed a discomfort, you need to go find community elsewhere? Are you kidding? I think I was damn respectful to ask in the first place and damn respectful to plan not to show up with the first sign someone would be uncomfortable. The histrionics were SO not necessary.

And not only that--quite a few statements were made that I find EXTREMELY offensive towards my father. We are not discussing just some "straight guy" it's my fucking FATHER for god's sake.

And that is what is pissing me off more than anything. I was respectful and a couple people in this thread (Rob and Robin, since I believe in being completely transparent) seem to forget the fact that we were, in fact, discussing my family member not just some overbearing, obnoxious, seedy lech of a straight guy. I would have appreciated the same respect and delicacy in return, which I do not feel I was granted. There was absolutely NO need to beat a dead horse and over-theorize what my Dad's presence what have done for a few hours at ONE gathering. Again, we were/are talking about my father.

Clearly we all have different ideas of how we construct community. I need a breather from some populations so I can feel reified among others, which is why I've been so insistent about creating a b/f gathering.

Last time I checked, this little weekly gathering was not all YOUR idea. You have made it pretty clear since that you feel proprietary towards it. Huh. I don't know whose idea it was originally, but I do know how the discussions happened on this thread, and while yes, you have been pretty vocal and enthusiastic with keeping the gatherings going--they are by no means YOUR gatherings. You do not own this thread and you do not own this community, and heretofore I was under the impression that it was a pretty informal gathering of local friends from the site. I was not aware it was "Miss Robin's Butch-Femme ONLY Weekly Gathering at Wiggins". But thank you for making it clear you feel this way, because at least now we all know what we are getting into should we choose to go.

Stone_to_bone

02-20-2008, 09:19 PM

Robin and I and another couple initiated the Weds, and now Tues, gatherings at Wiggins specifically so that we could make a time to hangout with other butches and femmes from the site and so that there would be a standing, scheduled place where people new to town or from town but new to the site, could meet other butches and femmes.

Its not about ownership, however just because we chose to announce it on this b-f site and just because it is in a public place as opposed to one of our homes, doesn't mean that the individuals who planned the event should have no say in who is invited.

Let me be very clear: when we planned this the first week and in subsequent weeks, we were planning a butch-femme event. Period. Not an event for family of butches and femmes, not an event with a goal to educate the community, etc.

And music, you may know and feel comfortable with your father and that's great but he's your father, not our father so yes, supportive family is great but I think its a little myopic to expect to bring male relatives to butch-femme events.

If the bash next year was in Florida would you invite him to stop by for a cocktail and a dance around the ballroom? No. There's no reason that this should be any different.

And the crazy thing is that really no one is looking at the bigger issue: what our reluctance to carve out space that's ours in the world is all about. In any conflict I think there's usually the opportunity to learn something about oneself, one's issues in society. Why is it such a sensitive topic for us all? Why is b-f space (which this website is, btw) so hard to commit to, so hard to allow ourselves? Why do we feel the need to always educate and happily accept whatever bits of acceptance, or tolerance sometimes, we get from straight friends and family? Why is their willingness to treat us with a totally normal and unremarkable amount of dignity such a cause for celebration? What do we aspire to that's bigger on a societal level?

Last night was a lot of fun. I really enjoyed talking to Softness and cici's out of town theatrical femme-friend. It was great to relax and have a few drinks with friends. I think its an act of revolution to gather as butches and femmes (less so in Northampton, but still). In the grand scheme of things, less than 30 years since Stonewall really isn't much. We are still (and now for different reasons) gender outlaws. it means a lot to me to celebrate and preserve and nurture that. Us.

I'm sorry if my response has been strong but this is a big deal to me. How we create community, how I construct my little bit of time during the week with friends is important. I hope there's a way that we can keep this from becoming a rift in our commuity. Sometimes the interent doesn't exactly lend itself to clear communication but building a strong b-f community of friends here is important enough to me that I'm willing to stick with it until people feel like they've been heard and understand each other.

miss robin

02-20-2008, 09:28 PM

There are enough days in the week, locations, and people to have more than one social group. I would like to continue to go to an intimate gathering of butches and femmes once a week at Wiggins Tavern -- whether I plan it, promote it, or just attend it.

I also would like to continue to go to brunches, picnics, bbqs and other non-intimate events with butches, femmes, their kids, family members, straight friends, anybody. There's a time and place for all these things.

A few people mentioned a weekend get-together. I think a Sunday brunch at Union Station would be great. Maybe March 9th or 16th. I'll organize it unless someone else wants to. In a setting like that I think it's great to bring family members and friends.

Miss Robin
(hi Bone. I just got off the phone with you and you said you're going to sleep and I said I'm going to sleep and we both wrote to this thread at the same time. ha! I'm off to bed. Good night. That was a beautiful post, btw. Very passionate, like you.)

musicfemme

02-20-2008, 09:42 PM

You are both COMPLETELY missing my point.

Sophisticated1

02-20-2008, 09:44 PM

Ok ok ok!

I feel like Michael in the Godfather. Everytime I try to get out of this particular conversation it pulls me back in!

*heavy freakin sigh*

I guess this was just unavoidable. Perhaps it is a good thing. (though it still feels really icky!) I am reading and digesting (well, sort of) and preparing a post because I can't respond to all of this right now. I shall return.

S1

msmoxie

02-20-2008, 11:42 PM

I am deeply troubled by what has transpired among us lately. I hoped to let it go and let it be. I can’t.

As half of what I presume is the “other couple” I have to say that never did I ever envision attending or creating a social gathering that was “for” any one type or group of person(s) or “excluded” any other particular person(s) even though I am pretty certain the words ”butch” and “femme” were part of the context.

I see absolutely no reason why we cannot extend our hands and hearts in cordial greeting to ANYONE that shows up to Wiggins or anywhere else we gather. If we do not particularly care to socialize on a deeper level with a person for whatever reason, so what?? This town, this thread, this community, is big enough for all of us, including our differences of interest and opinion. We all own it, and we all define it. We do not necessarily like and/or agree with one another all the time. So?

To echo what has already been said about what is special and important about queer-only space: On my downtime, I too, want to freely socialize and feel unencumbered and avoid interpersonal conflict. I get it. I like it. I have absolutely no reluctance to create, claim, celebrate and embrace queer-only social space often and freely.

But I do not need or demand it all the times, particularly when that carving out of space comes at the cost of the feelings of another, and the integrity and demeanor of a circle of friends—a community—specifically, THIS ONE.

--mox

Sophisticated1

02-21-2008, 02:30 AM

(S) :| 4:30AM??? Why couldnt I just let it go? Why?:'(

Let me try to make this as short and sweet as an S1 can (hey, stop laughing and wish me luck, I will need it!)

Our BF Soirees
Yes, I too enjoy the opportunity to be in an environment where the overall atmosphere and tone of the event is predicated upon and created by a BF sensibility if you will. I totally understand wanting a place to feel comfortable and be with other BF folks.

It is however, the overall BF atmosphere and culture that makes these little soirees feel relaxed, and enjoyable. But let me be perfectly clear when I say that this is unequivocally not predicated upon every person in attendance being either “a butch” or “a femme.” I have no problem with a “non BF” (for lack of a better word) companion attending a social gathering with one of the group.

Ownership? Control? What?
I think that asking the peanut gallery if bringing a guest would be ok, was merely a polite social amenity. I certainly did not see it as any form of asking “permission.” Since this is in fact a public social gathering, there is no person or persons in a position to grant or deny such a thing.

Think about it. Say 20 BF folks are coming to our weekly gatherings. The crowd varies from week to week, but low and behold one rogue member doesn’t know that someone would be offended by the presence of a non BF person. They show up with said companion. What are you (the general you) going to do? Ask them to leave? Let is slide and then admonish the errant member for their supposed faux pas? Talk about a faux pas!!

And really, I said earlier that I was in fact a wildcard and I meant it. If my mom and or dad were visiting from out of town (no worries the trip from the hereafter is far too long) I personally wouldn’t have asked if I could bring them, I would have just arrived with my very queer friendly very socially appropriate parents. I would hope that they would be greeted in a friendly manner.

For anyone who had their sensibilities assaulted by their mere presence, I would graciously offer them the following advice: They could ignore them, they could choose not to engage with them or, if it was still just to unbearable and uncomfortable to imagine, they could perhaps, take their leave early this week and come back next week when it will very likely be an all BF gathering again. Just like anyone else might do when they are uncomfortable for whatever reason at a social event.

Sure, we can set the tone of the event as a place where BF folks come to socialize and be with other BF folks. Absolutely. Grand even. I like it! But I just cannot see how the occasional presence of a non BF companion of one of our BF friends could even come close to upsetting our little BF apple cart. It makes the whole thing sound so flimsy and I never thought of us as the flimsy types.

Right, it is not an educational workshop or a support group by any stretch. It is a social gathering. As such, there is no such thing as 100% control of who will show up. There is also no such thing as 100% of the people being 100% happy 100% of the time. It is the nature of the beast. I think that if one really is in need of an absolutely exclusive, only people they like gathering with a guarantee from every guest that they will not show up with an “unapproved companion” then a private house party would be a wonderful venue.

Politics and Philosophy
When we get lost in the minutiae of theory and politics we can sometimes forget that there are real live people with real human feelings involved in the matter. I will quite happily and merrily discuss politics, gender theory, feminism what have you until the cows come home, but not at the expense, or worse yet, to justify or explain away the less than cordial treatment of anyone in our community. It seems so contradictory.

Refusing to Take Sides or Encourage Factionalism
I am not going to vilify anyone, take sides or engage in an ideological slug fest. I have enjoyed our gatherings and I hope that they will continue with all of us. Personal preferences, differences of opinions, disagreements, %$$#^* and all. It is our BF community. We don’t have to love everybody equally, we don’t all have to attend every event that pops up or invite the entire community into our private homes. It would, however, be nice if we could resist the urge to take our own damn toys and go to our own damn playgrounds because of this rough and uncomfortable patch.

Okay I am going to stop now before I sound like that cheesy guy crying out “why cant we all just get along?” :s

My last bit of advise: Never trust an Irish person when they say “I will make this short and sweet.;)

With sincere kindness and friendship towards everyone

1, S1
|-)

JesterButch

02-21-2008, 04:58 AM

this may be completely random, and not on topic if there is one- but it is making me think and that's good (y)

last night, my femme and I took a dancing class and it was mostly straight, mostly boring, mostly I'd rather be at the dentist office kind of thing (but that's just how I feel about lessons)

so, admitting here that I was already in an "agitated state" the thing that got me even crazier was this very tall white man just kind of lurking and watching the lesson and very obviously watching my femme

it just triggered me, for lack of a better word, and reminded me of the hundreds of times I've been to a gay club or party or whatever and looked over to see a man just kind of lurking and watching ~~there is just an energy to that that makes me feel +o( green

Edit to say, since I know how wierd email/internet communication can be, I am NOT saying your father, anyone's father, is a creep
I am saying, thanks for asking, and that "all this" is the natural result of your asking so no need to call the response "hystrionics" or whatever
This is exactly what you get when you ask a group of lesbians (and I don't care if that's the right or wrong label in 2008) how they feel about inviting a man to their party!
I'm kind of surprised by your surprise to be honest, and imho, it's just a tad passive aggressive to say "well then fine, I won't come" as if you've been insulted!

Anyway, in the spirit of playing fair, this is all great food for thought (pi)
but come on folks, it's talking to your self at the computer screen in your pajamas
it isn't really communicating with your community
it isn't even really communicating
it isn't even real
it isn't (l)

softness

02-21-2008, 08:33 AM

I am a new gal to this social night..and to every one of you except NHPB. I would like you to see it from a neutral and "outsiders" (as in, no strings attached to the event or the people) view

I love Daddies. I had one myself and he is now passed on and I would give anything to spend another moment in his presence. I can understand Music's desire to want to include her Daddy in her life. And I bet he is much more than tolerant and wouldnt leer and we would have loved him. Just by spending one night with the folks that were there the other night, I can tell they are an accepting, warn and welcoming group of individuals....

I can also tell you I have never in my 51 years spent a single evening with only butch-femmes. This damn near broke my heart in passion as I sat amongst us and felt a sense of community. Our little circle by the fireplace was sooooo sacred to me...call me sensitive or over-emotional but this was one of the grandest nights of my life...

I have attended many a P-Flag night, both their business meetings and their social occassions. Heck, I even hosted one! My heterosexual gay-advocate daughter drags all her potential boyfriends to these meetings to see how they will react. If they bomb, she tries to educate. If he isnt educatable, he is out of her life. My sister attends Pflag and has come to several of my home parties where its mostly gay and trans folks. I loved having both my kid and my sister at my personal and political events.

But I guard this new event fiercely in my heart tho I would NEVER stake a claim to say what should or should not be. When we were preparing to go out, I was processing the upcoming event as a chance to meet some posters and gain some new friends in this new land I am moving to. Once I got there, the butch-femmeness of the circle blew me away....the energy was complete and whole of my heart and soul.

So maybe not everyone feels this way...this is only my point of view. I want to meet Music's Daddy. I also want to keep the circle sacred. So many of the posts have been about theoretical points. I want to point out the spiritual point of view.

I would have attended either way. But the experience would have been different if someone not butch-femme had been there. Not bad. Not worse. Just different.

Please tell your Daddy I said hello, Music. In all this, I want to remember we are indeed talking about her Daddy. And as I started out saying, I love Daddy's and I hope he had an enjoyable night with his daughter.

"Theories are wonderful until they have to be applied in the personal lives of ourselfves....then its hard work. But if we dont figure it out, the rest of the world sure wont...."

this may be completely random, and not on topic if there is one- but it is making me think and that's good (y)

last night, my femme and I took a dancing class and it was mostly straight, mostly boring, mostly I'd rather be at the dentist office kind of thing (but that's just how I feel about lessons)

so, admitting here that I was already in an "agitated state" the thing that got me even crazier was this very tall white man just kind of lurking and watching the lesson and very obviously watching my femme

it just triggered me, for lack of a better word, and reminded me of the hundreds of times I've been to a gay club or party or whatever and looked over to see a man just kind of lurking and watching ~~there is just an energy to that that makes me feel +o( green

Edit to say, since I know how wierd email/internet communication can be, I am NOT saying your father, anyone's father, is a creep
I am saying, thanks for asking, and that "all this" is the natural result of your asking so no need to call the response "hystrionics" or whatever
This is exactly what you get when you ask a group of lesbians (and I don't care if that's the right or wrong label in 2008) how they feel about inviting a man to their party!
I'm kind of surprised by your surprise to be honest, and imho, it's just a tad passive aggressive to say "well then fine, I won't come" as if you've been insulted!

Anyway, in the spirit of playing fair, this is all great food for thought (pi)
but come on folks, it's talking to your self at the computer screen in your pajamas
it isn't really communicating with your community
it isn't even really communicating
it isn't even real
it isn't (l)

Sophisticated1

02-21-2008, 10:47 AM

LOL I can’t stay out of a dance conversation!

Yes, I taught dance lessons for years and took dance lesson in absolutely straight venues across the country for years. It was difficult to be the only BF couple and some folks were down right nasty about it! Jokes, whispers, attitude - I have lived through it all and from the south to the mid west to the west coast, I cut my dance teeth in straightsville. It was in the early to mid 90’s and it wasn’t in communities that were anything remotely like Northampton.

Yes indeed, some men stared and I thought they were all leering. But the truth of the matter was some were just watching to see if they could get the steps, some were watching footwork, some were checking out outfits, some were just socially awkward goofy men, some had no idea what to do with themselves because they would have rather have been at the dentist than a dance event, and some were leering. They all looked the same, and until I was able to confirm my assumptions that they were all “those damn leering straight men” I had no freaking clue as to what I was talking about. One was a international ballroom champion who later became my coach, which was really quite amazing after I had sneered at him so much thinking he was scoping out my partner!

Eventually other queers started to join us or hear that we were at these large national dance competitions. (apparently we were quite the anomaly and word got out to the community somehow.) The big problem was that almost every freakin couple that came, cloistered themselves in a little private corner, only “danced” with themselves (if you could call it that because they never learned anything because they would never deign to dance with anyone but each other. and giving nasty 8o| back off straight man attitude to every man there.

My partner and I learned a lot about dance and about socializing with diverse groups of people and people that were nothing at all like us in many ways. We also learned that not every man who looks at you does so with disrespect or ill will. Some were exceedingly nice, some were gay, some became our teachers, coaches and mentors and one I almost had a knock down drag out bout of fisticuffs with because he was a lecherous ass.:@

Moral of the story: We were able to open a successful dance studio of our own that that was queer friendly (not queer only) and bring dance on a safe platter to the queer community. It was comfortable, respectful and we taught in ways that did not reinforce ridiculous heterosexual stereotypes or standards. Many queers learned to dance and socialize with whoever was there. They discovered it was actually a good time. Sadly, some still came and stayed in their little groups, coping attitude, embracing their fears and assumptions, and to this day, they still dance like well…. :| Herman Munster.

5,6,7,8
S1

miss robin

02-21-2008, 11:03 AM

...I can also tell you I have never in my 51 years spent a single evening with only butch-femmes. This damn near broke my heart in passion as I sat amongst us and felt a sense of community. Our little circle by the fireplace was sooooo sacred to me...call me sensitive or over-emotional but this was one of the grandest nights of my life...

Softness, your whole post is beautiful.
I came out when I was 38 (I'm your little sister at 50 ;), though I think we're only 6 months apart) and to be among a group of butches and femmes, uninhibitedly, in a public place, where I can sit on Rob's lap and you and NHPB can exchange a kiss -- to me that is a revolution.

I am so thankful, consciously thankful, in a real way that feels like really giving thanks, that in my lifetime, in the place I live, among the people I know, I have the LUXURY of being an out queer.

And to be political or theoretical for a moment: While I'm in no way a separatist, I do believe that things happen, fabulous things, erotic things, self-awareness, happiness, compassion, learning ... and even political mobility when you don't know you're doing it ... when marginalized groups can come together without anyone from the dominant group among them. This has been proven to be true time and time again by critical race theorists and feminists.

And to ask for just a little space for butches and femmes to be with butches and femmes. A small cozy space at a place where no one else would be on that night, is really not too much to ask.

(And Jesterbutch, I thought your post was right on the money.)

Miss Robin

musicfemme

02-21-2008, 11:21 AM

Edit to say, since I know how wierd email/internet communication can be, I am NOT saying your father, anyone's father, is a creep
I am saying, thanks for asking, and that "all this" is the natural result of your asking so no need to call the response "hystrionics" or whatever
This is exactly what you get when you ask a group of lesbians (and I don't care if that's the right or wrong label in 2008) how they feel about inviting a man to their party!
I'm kind of surprised by your surprise to be honest, and imho, it's just a tad passive aggressive to say "well then fine, I won't come" as if you've been insulted!

It was not passive-aggressive at all, for the record. I meant the "ok we won't come" sincerely. It was a very point blank, simple statement in an effort to NOT argue any of these points. It was meant to be respectful, regardless of what my personal feelings on the matter were. It was not an "oh, fine!" type of thing at all. I think you are reading a tone into what I said that was not there. It was: ok, you have a problem with it--we won't come. What more could I have said? Seriously. It wasn't an option for me to come WITHOUT my Dad because he was in town for less than a week and the majority of the time I see him twice a year. And it was his last night here. So, as much as I love folks from B/F, clearly my Dad was going to be my priority. Sorry I wasn't more fluffy about it and didn't include a million emoticons and pink glitter so everyone was perfectly clear I was being "nice".

I backed the fuck off IMMEDIATELY when ONE PERSON expressed their discomfort. Which is why it is really, REALLY pissing me off that somehow I am being made out to be the villain in all this for even asking. I will not apologize for asking if it would be ok for me to bring my Dad. That's ridiculous. And considering the ensuing, unnecessary discussion that has taken place around MY FATHER (and yes, thank you to those of you who realize we talking about a real person) I am wondering why I even bothered being respectful in the first place. I backed off immediately and without arguing the point with the intention of AVOIDING all this bullshit. And no, I do not agree that this ad naseum discussion is what I get for even asking. People expressing their discomfort--sure. I invited that. I can understand that. I get it. But not what happened after I already said I wouldn't come. I completely and vehemently disagree that I invited all this. I am STILL being "argued" with. It's like I can't fucking win. I gave the people who were uncomfortable their way promptly and with no protest, and it wasn't even the majority opinion! So, yeah I am pretty goddamn pissy that I am STILL being beaten over the head with it.

But it's quite interesting to me that my simple statement of saying we wouldn't come if it was a problem gets labeled passive aggressive, yet someone saying they are being silenced and going to go find community elsewhere because people disagreed with their view is not histrionics. Very interesting indeed.

Oh, and this post is not passive aggressive. I like to be pretty open about my aggression. 8o| <-----bared teeth for anyone who wasn't aware that I am really angry right now

teddybearbutch

02-21-2008, 11:46 AM

Softness, your whole post is beautiful.
I came out when I was 38 (I'm your little sister at 50 ;), though I think we're only 6 months apart) and to be among a group of butches and femmes, uninhibitedly, in a public place, where I can sit on Rob's lap and you and NHPB can exchange a kiss -- to me that is a revolution.

I am so thankful, consciously thankful, in a real way that feels like really giving thanks, that in my lifetime, in the place I live, among the people I know, I have the LUXURY of being an out queer.

And to be political or theoretical for a moment: While I'm in no way a separatist, I do believe that things happen, fabulous things, erotic things, self-awareness, happiness, compassion, learning ... and even political mobility when you don't know you're doing it ... when marginalized groups can come together without anyone from the dominant group among them. This has been proven to be true time and time again by critical race theorists and feminists.

And to ask for just a little space for butches and femmes to be with butches and femmes. A small cozy space at a place where no one else would be on that night, is really not too much to ask.

(And Jesterbutch, I thought your post was right on the money.)

Miss Robin

Im so glad that you were able to have that feeling of community without having someone you PERCEIVED to be the ENEMY in your midst. WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so without ever meeting MF's father you decided that he was a threat to the group.

The meeting was as you said in a PUBLIC place where at ANY moment one of the dominant group could have shown up and it would have RUINED the moment for the group. SO are you saying that NOWHERE in the establishment that there was NO person who was not of the queer community? Also as Im reading this post if someone from this site was a transperson who is dating someone who isnt on this site would they NOT be welcomed? There are SEVERAL person on this site who ID as gender variant who date bio males would either of these ppl NOT be welcomed at this meeting?

Im sorry Miss Robin to tell you this however you act towards certain groups of the populace of the world as if they are beneath you. That in action would make you an elitist and a seperatist. I dont think there is a soul on this site or who has ever heard how you speak about bio men would ever think otherwise.

There are several bio men who arent LURKERS or stalkers who look at femmes with LUST in their eyes thinking they can convert them into being HETEROSEXUAL.

Whenever we as a single person or as a group decide that we are going to EXCLUDE one person or a group of ppl who dont agree with or we have prejudice against, we are doing the VERY same thing we ourselves fight against every day trying to be seen as who we are.

I think again this MY opinion and I dont expect anyone else to agree with it and IM sure Miss Robin that you will probally feel IM attacking you. Im not what Im against is the fact that while meeting at a PUBLIC place that some ppl think it is OKAY say who and who cant patronize a business. I have NO problem what so ever if the gathering was going to be at a pvt home or even some place where there had been a fee to rent out a space for said gathering.

Someone asked if at the BASH if you would bring your parent with you and then answered NO well I hate to break this to ya'll however someone from this site does that very thing as both her and her parent have been WELCOMED by the WHOLE B-F community who were there.

I think that every parent would love to see their child being accepted into a community and to see them enteract within that said community. Im new to the parenting thing however I know that even I wish to see the child im helping to now raised be in a community where he is accepted and loved as a person of that community and a respected member of it.

msmoxie

02-21-2008, 11:51 AM

I hope there is a plastic surgeon around here who gives a good group rate.

I have about lost all my abilities to take a deep breath and think before speaking and lost any modicum of tact I may possess.

Not quite.

Jesterbutch, this post is not (l). Nor is it in the spirit of any sort of community I want of which want to be a part. I find it fire-fueling and divisive, to say the least.

Which is precisely why I am compelled to respond.

I am not sure what it is that would simultaneously compell you, Jesterbutch, to comment so freely and unkindly on what you have been following here, and then say that this forum and these people are not real or part of a community. Where exactly, do you think you are saying these words? In a vacuum? And if there are no real people here, then who do you think will read it?

We all live here. We real people and we live here in real life and see each other in real life. We also share this online forum.

That is precisely why this discussion has become heated. We are real people living in a small town. We know each other. We care about each other. We like each other. Some of us like each other and are closer than others. Sometimes we disagree with each other. It does not mean we do not care about one another and can not enjoy one another's company. I very much enjoy the company of my BF friends, and I often disagree with some of them. So what?

I have see you play your music. I have greeted you at your gigs. I've not yet seen you at Wiggins. No matter, because this town and my manner of being is big enough for both of us to share in public, online, and real-life space and have a discussion. I do not hesitate to freely tell you, publically, that I am quite unhappy and strongly disagree and take a good amount of offense to what you have posted here. I find much of what you have written rude beyond belief. It doesn't mean we can't coexist here and in RL and share a few hours in a public setting and treat each other with decorum. It suggests to me, however, that you and I will likely never be best of chums, because there are some core issues we would likely never reconcile enough to be compatible.

That's ok.

(Pulling up my moxified panties and twisting them tighter for effect)

I've often been stared at because I am bald and wear a hat. If I do not have makeup on, I am stared at all the harder. I have made up all kinds of stories about who is looking at me and why and with what type of intent.

Unless I ask, I do not know. I can assure you, however, that if you saw the look on my face right now you would read it correctly. Because I am telling you in no uncertain terms that I find your behavior here appalling, belittling, and small-minded. Really? You can tell who someone is, their orientation, manner of identifying, and intent by looking at them in a crowded room?

Perhaps the CIA needs you.

I make no assumptions about who anyone is when I see them, certainly not who they share there hearts, minds, and beds with and what proclivities and interests they might have. In fact, I could care less, unless I want to sleep with that person myself.

Note--I have no idea of what type of person you are. I am not calling YOU appalling, belittling, and small-minded. I am discussing your behavior, ONLY. I know you by what you write here and what I have heard you play. I enjoy your music and how you have referred to your family, and the way you express your affection for them. But I do not enjoy this post. At all.

This riled up rant is exactly what you get for telling anyone what they get for asking a group of real life friends if she could invite someone, specifically her father, to a social gathering. In my high and mighty opinion, she displayed an entirely unecessary display of decorum, respect, and sensitivity in her attempt to ensure that no one would be uncomfortable, her friends, nor her father, at our gathering of real life people, friends, and community.

It was a smart, socially adept, and gracious thing to do. It is, I think, what most of us do when we prepare to go to a gathering of folks, or extend invitations--just like we think of attire, we think of group dynamics and what is appropriate in all regards--and for god's sake, I do not reduce myself nor my friends, nor my community here or at large, to our sexual and gender orientations and ways of being, and use that as a basis for deciding or knowing anything.

You said what you said publically, thus it warrants my public response.

On another note--I love our gatherings and have enjoyed them a great deal. I plan to continue attending, and may invite from time to time anyone I feel would enjoy themselves, behave themselves, and who will be well received and whose company enjoyed by our group.

I hope we all feel similarly.
--mox

this may be completely random, and not on topic if there is one- but it is making me think and that's good (y)

last night, my femme and I took a dancing class and it was mostly straight, mostly boring, mostly I'd rather be at the dentist office kind of thing (but that's just how I feel about lessons)

so, admitting here that I was already in an "agitated state" the thing that got me even crazier was this very tall white man just kind of lurking and watching the lesson and very obviously watching my femme

it just triggered me, for lack of a better word, and reminded me of the hundreds of times I've been to a gay club or party or whatever and looked over to see a man just kind of lurking and watching ~~there is just an energy to that that makes me feel +o( green

Edit to say, since I know how wierd email/internet communication can be, I am NOT saying your father, anyone's father, is a creep
I am saying, thanks for asking, and that "all this" is the natural result of your asking so no need to call the response "hystrionics" or whatever
This is exactly what you get when you ask a group of lesbians (and I don't care if that's the right or wrong label in 2008) how they feel about inviting a man to their party!
I'm kind of surprised by your surprise to be honest, and imho, it's just a tad passive aggressive to say "well then fine, I won't come" as if you've been insulted!

Anyway, in the spirit of playing fair, this is all great food for thought (pi)
but come on folks, it's talking to your self at the computer screen in your pajamas
it isn't really communicating with your community
it isn't even really communicating
it isn't even real
it isn't (l)

miss robin

02-21-2008, 11:56 AM

Moral of the story: We were able to open a successful dance studio of our own that that was queer friendly (not queer only) and bring dance on a safe platter to the queer community. It was comfortable, respectful and we taught in ways that did not reinforce ridiculous heterosexual stereotypes or standards. Many queers learned to dance and socialize with whoever was there. They discovered it was actually a good time. Sadly, some still came and stayed in their little groups, coping attitude, embracing their fears and assumptions, and to this day, they still dance like well…. :| Herman Munster.

I love your dance stories, S1.

Can we agree on this: As a butch, your experience of unwanted male attention is different than mine as a femme?

I've been in scenarios like the one you describe, in which males and females are doing something together -- like everyday at the gym -- and what you may not be detecting is that males may not be overt in their attention, esp. in Northampton, but there are many ways they make women, such as me, uncomfortable.

I have been surprised many many times, when I think I'm just being friendly or that a male and I are chit-chatting, and then they make a comment about my body or ask if I'm single or come over to me at the gym and touch me while "showing me how to use better form." :@ I never experience this same kind of ... predatory is too strong a word ... but "learned entitlement," from females. And as a threapist told me long ago, I don't understand the social clues that tell me this is going to happen because my focus is not a heterosexual one. Therefore, I really am careful about the casual interactions I have with male peers.

One more point regarding the dance class scenario and what Jesterbutch wrote about. When do straight males get challenged in the way that they act towards women? They don't. Try this scenario: Stick a straight male and his wife in an all-gay male dance class -- the only dance class he can attend because this is on another planet in a remote future -- and have a few gay men smiling flirtatiously at him. Would he be expected to suck it up and deal with it and go dance with them?

Miss Robin

teddybearbutch

02-21-2008, 11:58 AM

It was not passive-aggressive at all, for the record. I meant the "ok we won't come" sincerely. It was a very point blank, simple statement in an effort to NOT argue any of these points. It was meant to be respectful, regardless of what my personal feelings on the matter were. It was not an "oh, fine!" type of thing at all. I think you are reading a tone into what I said that was not there. It was: ok, you have a problem with it--we won't come. What more could I have said? Seriously. It wasn't an option for me to come WITHOUT my Dad because he was in town for less than a week and the majority of the time I see him twice a year. And it was his last night here. So, as much as I love folks from B/F, clearly my Dad was going to be my priority. Sorry I wasn't more fluffy about it and didn't include a million emoticons and pink glitter so everyone was perfectly clear I was being "nice".

I backed the fuck off IMMEDIATELY when ONE PERSON expressed their discomfort. Which is why it is really, REALLY pissing me off that somehow I am being made out to be the villain in all this for even asking. I will not apologize for asking if it would be ok for me to bring my Dad. That's ridiculous. And considering the ensuing, unnecessary discussion that has taken place around MY FATHER (and yes, thank you to those of you who realize we talking about a real person) I am wondering why I even bothered being respectful in the first place. I backed off immediately and without arguing the point with the intention of AVOIDING all this bullshit. And no, I do not agree that this ad naseum discussion is what I get for even asking. People expressing their discomfort--sure. I invited that. I can understand that. I get it. But not what happened after I already said I wouldn't come. I completely and vehemently disagree that I invited all this. I am STILL being "argued" with. It's like I can't fucking win. I gave the people who were uncomfortable their way promptly and with no protest, and it wasn't even the majority opinion! So, yeah I am pretty goddamn pissy that I am STILL being beaten over the head with it.

But it's quite interesting to me that my simple statement of saying we wouldn't come if it was a problem gets labeled passive aggressive, yet someone saying they are being silenced and going to go find community elsewhere because people disagreed with their view is not histrionics. Very interesting indeed.

Oh, and this post is not passive aggressive. I like to be pretty open about my aggression. 8o| <-----bared teeth for anyone who wasn't aware that I am really angry right now

Again MF Im posting to you. I Never seen your statement as ya'll werent coming as passive aggressive at all.

I dont know of anyone else who would have asked to bring a friend or family member to a PUBLIC place for a gathering.

Again I have said my piece about this matter. Im going to say it again that Im sorry that a few pitched a witch about who can and can't attend.

Im glad that you got to visit with your father and Im hoping that he had a safe trip home and that he doesnt have a bad taste in his mouth so to speak about the b-f community in NOHO

msmoxie

02-21-2008, 12:33 PM

Hello Miss.

As a femme, I too get unwanted lascivious attention from men, I also get unwanted lascivious attention from women. I also get attention that I can't decipher. Often it makes me uncomfortable--and? I can't live in a vacuum. I can wear deflector shields and I can complain about it to my friends and therapist, and I call tell the offending party to back off. Sometimes it really upsets me or creeps me out. But I can't necessarily avoid it.

I do challenge straight white men. All the time. Ask the ones I work with. By being visibly queer, we challenge those who are not, and we challenge those who think we should be closeted. No matter who those folks are. We are revolutionary by breathing and coexisting. And yes, space carved for just-us is indeed special and sacred.

I also challenge my friends. It's clear you and I feel differently about the nature of our gatherings, this specific scenerio, and will likely continue to disagree about lots of things over time. That's ok. I still like you. I still enjoy your company. I always have. :)

The guy in your scenario--I think, yes, he would be expected to dance. I mean, he's at a dance studio. Either he does, or he doesn't.

What's he gonna do? Bowl?:P

I love your dance stories, S1.

Can we agree on this: As a butch, your experience of unwanted male attention is different than mine as a femme?

I've been in scenarios like the one you describe, in which males and females are doing something together -- like everyday at the gym -- and what you may not be detecting is that males may not be overt in their attention, esp. in Northampton, but there are many ways they make women, such as me, uncomfortable.

I have been surprised many many times, when I think I'm just being friendly or that a male and I are chit-chatting, and then they make a comment about my body or ask if I'm single or come over to me at the gym and touch me while "showing me how to use better form." :@ I never experience this same kind of ... predatory is too strong a word ... but "learned entitlement," from females. And as a threapist told me long ago, I don't understand the social clues that tell me this is going to happen because my focus is not a heterosexual one. Therefore, I really am careful about the casual interactions I have with male peers.

One more point regarding the dance class scenario and what Jesterbutch wrote about. When do straight males get challenged in the way that they act towards women? They don't. Try this scenario: Stick a straight male and his wife in an all-gay male dance class -- the only dance class he can attend because this is on another planet in a remote future -- and have a few gay men smiling flirtatiously at him. Would he be expected to suck it up and deal with it and go dance with them?

Miss Robin

msmoxie

02-21-2008, 12:54 PM

well said. and funny.
yes, i got in a snit. i lost my cool, i posted anyway.
i showed poor form.
I apologize for my manner.
I stand by my sentiment.

Yes, there is space for all of us. Our mecca is wide and diverse enough for all of us, including our disagreements about what that mecca means and who gets to be within it's perimeter.

Within each mecca are individuals, with a variety of opinions and feelings.

My apologies for stepping on yours.

cheers. mox

is it hot in here? :$

this is where the term "flaming" comes from, and we should all (including myself) be wary of a possible "fruiting"

Isn't that where they come in and throw banana peels atcha til you leave? <:o)
no wait, that's the zoo(&)

Let me say first, as a real peace offering to musicfemme, I'm sorry for suggesting it was passive aggressive, and perhaps I throw that word around too much, mea culpa

I'm glad you had a visit w/your Dad~~ I agreed w/softness and I would trade anything for a day with my Dad (gone since I was early 20's) and while a B-F is the last place I'd take him, I would have to guess a baseball game or a bar would be his first choice (b)
I applaud the world we share that you would want to...

and in a way, these posts have underlined and underscored why I feel so wierd about online stuff in general
it's not that we aren't REAL ok
but we certainly aren't present for each other at the moment we're typing, how about that, so don't go getting your panties any tighter on my behalf, I don't even know you!

and quite frankly, it hurts my sensitive little feelers, that you have decided based on a few delirous free associating posts, that we "could never be chums"
well, gee, now we can't for sure, mam :|

anyway, if northampton is the lesbian mecca that it's supposed to be
there is a place for all of us
Let's all go bowling sometime, that's my favorite sport, although I suck at that too
no, let's all go ice fishing, that sounds like even more fun
and S1, I wish you were around with that dance studio when I was learning to salsa
speaking as a true Munster 8o|

miss robin

02-21-2008, 12:56 PM

It looks like no one is agreeing on much of anything on this thread. I'm bowing out of the discussion.

I suggest that Tues or Wed night at 7:30pm at Wiggins Tavern (called "The Wig" by MsMoxie. ha!) remains a butch/femme evening.

And other events, one of which I'll gladly plan for a weekend afternoon, can be for those of us on the thread and anyone else we meet, fuck, love, are related to, or want to bring.

As far as any other collection of people meeting, feel free to start a group. No one is inhibiting anyone from doing so.

Also, I'm posting a photo in the gallery of our last gathering. It's a very small place, usually not queer, and not one that people are likely to just wander into.

Miss Robin

cicibird

02-21-2008, 01:06 PM

There are several bio men who arent LURKERS or stalkers who look at femmes with LUST in their eyes thinking they can convert them into being HETEROSEXUAL.

Is this supposed to be a positive thing? Putting the discussing regarding MF's father aside to discuss the general presence of non-queer identified biological males -- honestly, I really like having a few hours a week when this doesn't happen. I enjoy being recognized as self-realized and solid in my identity as queer without assumptions regarding the fluidity of my orientation due to gender presentation.

I don't like to be ogled. I don't care how much lust is involved.

In terms of the rest of your post, I don't think it was at all respectful toward Miss Robin, who was stating her opinion regarding the way she values the creation of queer female space in public, and how it's political. I also see a pretty big difference between merely patronizing a business and connecting, speaking, and forming close friendships in an intimate, yet public, setting. Am I bothered by male patrons at the bar, or at the next table? Only if they start ogling, which is generally rude regardless. Is their presence, 20 feet away from us -- regardless of their actions -- equivalent to actively engaging with the group? Absolutely not.

JesterButch

02-21-2008, 01:09 PM

I am a world class bowler and I have my own balls thank you very much <:o)

Let me just apologize and I will do so in pm as well
I have had very little sleep in the last few days, weeks, ok YEARS
but that's another subject, my insomnia could take over a thread 4 sure

but seriously, I think I am guilty as the next guy of throwing words around carelessly when I am tired and thank you for (all of your) thoughtful posts here (f)

Here are words and phrases I vow not to throw around anymore
at least on this website, I can't promise my wife the same but I will try

"passive aggressive" wtf does that mean anyway
"I know exactly what you mean" no you don't
"community building" again, sounds like propaganda
"online dating" forget about it
"panties in a knot" ouch

ok, I am getting carried away and it was really supposed to be a simple gesture of reigning us back to communicating, and you're right, whoever you are that said
we know each other, but we don't know each other
here's the point and I think the point of this website and the gatherings
let's get to know each other better (l)

yours truly,
Herman Munster :$

msmoxie

02-21-2008, 01:23 PM

I come in peace, in unbunched panties.
:)
--mox, horrifed by her loss of decorum, with apologies to all reading, and especially to Jesterbutch, whose post I called unkind, and to whom i was quite unkind in return.:s

I am a world class bowler and I have my own balls thank you very much <:o)

Let me just apologize and I will do so in pm as well
I have had very little sleep in the last few days, weeks, ok YEARS
but that's another subject, my insomnia could take over a thread 4 sure

but seriously, I think I am guilty as the next guy of throwing words around carelessly when I am tired and thank you for (all of your) thoughtful posts here (f)

Here are words and phrases I vow not to throw around anymore
at least on this website, I can't promise my wife the same but I will try

"passive aggressive" wtf does that mean anyway
"I know exactly what you mean" no you don't
"community building" again, sounds like propaganda
"online dating" forget about it
"panties in a knot" ouch

ok, I am getting carried away and it was really supposed to be a simple gesture of reigning us back to communicating, and you're right, whoever you are that said
we know each other, but we don't know each other
here's the point and I think the point of this website and the gatherings
let's get to know each other better (l)

yours truly,
Herman Munster :$

JesterButch

02-21-2008, 01:47 PM

thank you moxie, that was big of you and quite frankly made my day!
now instead of a flame fest, we are hosting a love fest (l)

I think we should continue in that spirit especially since this site in particular needs to have as much love as possible B-F(l)B-F

I feel bad for Daddy Rhon and Mz Chris
it's been a sucky 2008 so far for alot of folks
I know I for one have had my panties in a knot all year (and I don't even use that expression anymore)
nor do I own any panties HA

thanks again for the chuckles, and carry on
I am late as usual but will be back later to cause more trouble <:o)

Sophisticated1

02-21-2008, 04:18 PM

Oh.

My.

God.
:|
Well, I am always the first one to say I love a conversation that stirs things up… (8-)I might have to rethink that.. well to a point anyway.

STB
I read the last line in your last post again. I agree that “ building a strong b-f community of friends here is important” and I am glad that you are willing to stick with it until people feel like they've been heard and understand each other.

Softness
Hey softness nice post. You must be going :| "oh my word what have I gotten myself into here?"! No worries. All will be fine in the long run. The Wiggins gathering will be there, regardless and the warmth and friendship will be offered despite our differences. Looking forward to seeing you again.

Good Lady C Sparkle
I know a guy who does great cosmetic surgery. Hate to think of you losing one of your eyebrows. I think of eyebrows fondly. My mom had me eyebrow trained and a simple raise of one eyebrow could immediately illicit the cessation of whatever bad behavior I was into she would ^o) and I would :| So I very much understand their importance! Hope all is well with yours.

Musicfemme
I am sorry for the bad feelings that have come up. I get your points, I get your frustration and I hope to see you soon.

Miss R
Regarding unwanted male attention: I think it all sucks!

Femmes may experience it in a different way than butches do in general, however, we cannot assume that butches only receive the masculine to masculine threat, while femmes get all the sleaze and letch. Just because I am butch does not mean that I was free from the “hey baby how’s it goin” crap. I think you would be surprised. I have been on the receiving end of sleaze and I have been on the receiving end of out right physical hostility. It was all unwanted and it was crappy to have to deal with. :@

But here is the thing that kind of sticks in my S1 craw. I have been absolutely immersed in the most heterosexual, heterosexist venue (ballroom dance) with all of its heterosexist rules and regulations, and all of the rest of the aforementioned ick. I did it day in and day out as an out butch for years. I am no stranger to being treated like a “fake man” and I am also no stranger to being treated like a “challenge to fuck.” All of these events take place at big hotels no less so when not dancing and competing there are all sorts of shenanigans going on in suites and what not. (If I had a nickel for every vulgar oral sex joke/proposition I got during these years, I could have opened a dance studio the size of freakin Studio 54! So trust me, I get it. I have been there and I hate it. It sucks.

But personally, I will be damned to hell and back again if I will let any one, any man, especially any sleazy letch keep me from pursuing my passion. I wanted to learn to dance and dance well, and I wasn’t going to go to some (WARNING: dance snobbery comment coming) 10th rate “dance teacher” in a some dinky little queer bar in 1994 just so I could feel safe and cozy.

I never felt entirely safe. I never felt entirely comfy, ever! But because I wanted to lean to dance I stuck it out. And yes, as a fact of life, I did have to dance with some creeps if I wanted to get better. And yes, I did have to watch some creeps try to put the moves on my partner and yes she did continue to stick it out while at the same time having to set a few sleazy men straight. Such is life. Is it right? NO Does it suck? Oh yeah, big time. But it is what it is. We did it, and we survived.

But you know, I have to say that I really feel as though I totally took it for the so called team for years. Then, when I brought it back to the team, in a very safe, very queer friendly environment, which emphasized mutual respect and diversity, and did challenge heterosexism and heterosexual privilege, some folks still couldn’t even rise to the occasion then! They couldn’t even try to be open to the fact that perhaps not every presumed heterosexual male in the studio was going to act badly or put the moves on them. I mean just logically and statistically speaking it is virtually impossible that EVERY straight man is going to even be in the least bit interested, never mind gross and inappropriate.

So yes, I would think screw this, after all we went through to bring this opportunity to you, (you in general) you are going to give me attitude in a safe, progressive, queer owned studio about having to dance with a man in a dance class? It irked me and it still does…LOL can you tell? And when folks then talked to me as if I simply can’t understand their plight, it is even more irksome, because I not only understand it, I share it.

And yes, (though I am so trying to not make a joke about straight men sucking it up with gay men LOL) Straight man, wife, gay dance class, Yup. Bob should dance with the gays! He should buck up, dance, learn, expect to be treated with respect and not take any shit if it is tossed his way. Unless of course he doesn’t think it is worth it, then he should go home.

Straight men danced with gay men all the time at my studio. Straight men danced with me and followed. I taught straight men how to “work a flourish” and embellish the more diva like arm movements while following … now picture THAT for a moment. lol

For clarity sake:

• Male privilege? Hate it

• Being approached by unsavory men? Hate it

• Running away from gross men and letting them have the day while I slink off to the safety of a protected space? Never, ever, not going to happen.

• Appreciating that there is a safe pleasant space for me somewhere in the midst of all this? Abso-fricken-lutely!

• S1 champion of straight men? :| :| :|PFFT There's a funny onel!! Though I will give them the chance to prove that they are not the stereotypical prototype, and I do think that there are some out there who could pass my “prove it to me” test. (and it is rigorous too lol)

Jester
Is it Jester, or do you really prefer Herman now?;) Yes, I imagine it could have been a very different experience. I would be interested sometime in hearing about where you took your lesson and who the instructor was.

Msmoxie!
LOL! Is my sometimes confrontational attitude and my admittedly brazen love of the clever verbal slice and dice rubbing off on you? I thought it was you (the always nice and nurturing one) who was supposed to rub off on me (“Mr high and mighty overblown vocabulary tries to run roughshod over people without them even knowing it” guy) .. lol so not my personal description of me!

Anyway, glad many peoples personal underclothing issues are beginning to subside. It sounded so uncomfortable!

1, S1

(8)
Whose tripping through the thread on Northampton
Typing to ever poster she sees,
Who’ cant control the length of her comments
Everyone knows its "Windy" (8).... :$

Toughy

02-21-2008, 04:42 PM

boxergal46

02-21-2008, 05:40 PM

Good evening everyone,
I hope everyone had a great day. Me I was pulling my hair and teeth to find out what people really wanted, when they came to my window, lol. I want to say I had a nice Tuesday evening at Whiggins by the fire, and will probally attend many more. I be damned if I remember most peoples names or screen names, but a face I will remember. I sit here and am reading the last few days posts even before Tuesday. I want to bite my tongue and not comment and that is so hard for me at this point in reading all the comments that I have read tonight. We have enough problems in this world and in our own rehelm of the gay life style, that we do not need to bicker amoungst ourselves, we need to group together stronger and support each other. Me, I want no drama ...lord knows we have enough of that in our every day life. I hope everyone has a pleasand evening...
Boxer

miss robin

02-21-2008, 05:54 PM

Hi Boxer!
Good to see you're still on here. This ruckus has never happened before on this thread as far as I know!

Sorry you had a trying day in the post office. People didn't know what they wanted when they came to your window? How many choices are there? I'll have a quart of milk and 20 stamps? Maybe you flustered them with your take-no-shit attitude. ;)

See you next Tuesday.

**Bonus question: Does anyone know what that's code for? Hint: C-U-Next-Tuesday

Miss Robin
p.s. Hey there Toughy from across the country! There's really no comparing the bay area socials at the Eagle and White Horse -- totally queer bars with lots of space for everone that are impervious to being altered in any way short of a police raid -- with our teeny-weeny gathering at a staunch bar in a stiff uptight very unqueer hotel.

akadyke

02-21-2008, 06:18 PM

Toughy

02-21-2008, 07:55 PM

p.s. Hey there Toughy from across the country! There's really no comparing the bay area socials at the Eagle and White Horse -- totally queer bars with lots of space for everone that are impervious to being altered in any way short of a police raid -- with our teeny-weeny gathering at a staunch bar in a stiff uptight very unqueer hotel.

I was not comparing anything. I stated how Rope and I believe community is built. However I will say this about those totally queer bars in the Bay Area.......We left the White Horse and Bench and Bar because they were fucking ASSHOLES to the ButchFemme Socials and members of our community...most visiably to femmes......Slut Night exists because of that.

I am baffled by you saying someone's supportive father would not be welcome at a gathering held in a 'stiff uptight very unqueer hotel'. Why in the hell are you going there to begin with? How would a supportive father (who incidently I have no idea about who he is another than father) be disruptive to your gathering at said hostile place. I would think he might be able to provide a buffer between those uptight nonqueer folks who are obviously in the same room with y'all...or not. Maybe he is just a dad looking to me his daughter's friends........shrug....

When we started the Socials....we were lucky to get 10 folks to show up at a hostile queer bar. The attendance grew over time and our insistence that all were welcome. We welcomed folks who did not id as butch or femme....because we recognize folks come to this identity in their own time and with exposure. And we recognize that some folks families actually love their kids and want to meet their friends and understand who their kids are. Seems to me you guys don't.....you only want those who are already in the community......what... you don't want to get your toaster oven???? Even as our attendance grew.....we were met with hostility by the staff of a queer bars....the Ho....and the Bench and Bar.

The Eagle is NOT a queer bar. The Eagle is a gay man's leather bar.....they welcome ANYONE who respects what they are about. The Eagle welcomes us with open arms even though we are not gay men and not all of us are kinky folk. The only other place in the Bay Area who has welcomed us the same way is Velvet. Velvet is a dyke bar in Oakland.

You guys can organize any way you want. I just think you are making a huge mistake by only including folks who are already butch femme identified. It takes work to build an inclusive community. However in order to build an inclusive community, you must want to build that inclusive community. I would ask you what your goal is in having these exclusive gatherings.

Blavatsky

02-21-2008, 08:08 PM

it just seems to me that you are just against all people besides your own kind. and i sure wouldnt want to be apart of it. its a shame. i was looking forward to visiting the group when i was going to be in town again visiting my girlfriend. and now, i really not sure i want to. if you dont like to be around "stiff uptight very unqueer folks" in a hotel then why do you attend in such a place.or why did you even pick a place like it? i am sure there are a lot of other queer friendly meeting places in NOHO. i know more than from where i am from. why do you feel so threatened?

i know a few on b.f that have families that they wish were more open and understanding and wanting to be with their queer child and to meet or be apart of their childs life. i would be honoured to meet yours, musicfemmes, s1, ms moxie's, or who evers parents if they were open to join and support at the same time.

musicfemme was only mentioning that her dad was in town and if anyone had a problem with her father coming into town that the wouldnt be coming. a few did and julie mentioned they werent going to come. what is the big deal with this? why do you have to keep mentioning things about this? what is the purpose? do you feel threatened? are you jealous that your own dad doesnt come to socials with you, accepts you? i just dont get it.

not all bio males are perverts. ass holes. stiff. uptight.

its like saying all queer femmes like to cause drama. :|

i just dont get it.

I can totally get how butch femme folks planning a butch femme gathering would want to limit that space to butches and femmes. What is so hard to understand about that????
And.... I don't care for your attacking tone.

akadyke

02-21-2008, 08:12 PM

I can totally get how butch femme folks planning a butch femme gathering would want to limit that space to butches and femmes. What is so hard to understand about that????
And.... I don't care for your attacking tone.

you dont like my attacking tone, but its okay for *others to "attack" musicfemme with her father situation. eh?

*note* i say "others" as not as in "you" just in case you think i am "attacking" you too.

:s

Blavatsky

02-21-2008, 08:15 PM

I was not comparing anything. I stated how Rope and I believe community is built. However I will say this about those totally queer bars in the Bay Area.......We left the White Horse and Bench and Bar because they were fucking ASSHOLES to the ButchFemme Socials and members of our community...most visiably to femmes......Slut Night exists because of that.

I am baffled by you saying someone's supportive father would not be welcome at a gathering held in a 'stiff uptight very unqueer hotel'. Why in the hell are you going there to begin with? How would a supportive father (who incidently I have no idea about who he is another than father) be disruptive to your gathering at said hostile place. I would think he might be able to provide a buffer between those uptight nonqueer folks who are obviously in the same room with y'all...or not. Maybe he is just a dad looking to me his daughter's friends........shrug....

When we started the Socials....we were lucky to get 10 folks to show up at a hostile queer bar. The attendance grew over time and our insistence that all were welcome. We welcomed folks who did not id as butch or femme....because we recognize folks come to this identity in their own time and with exposure. And we recognize that some folks families actually love their kids and want to meet their friends and understand who their kids are. Seems to me you guys don't.....you only want those who are already in the community......what... you don't want to get your toaster oven???? Even as our attendance grew.....we were met with hostility by the staff of a queer bars....the Ho....and the Bench and Bar.

The Eagle is NOT a queer bar. The Eagle is a gay man's leather bar.....they welcome ANYONE who respects what they are about. The Eagle welcomes us with open arms even though we are not gay men and not all of us are kinky folk. The only other place in the Bay Area who has welcomed us the same way is Velvet. Velvet is a dyke bar in Oakland.

You guys can organize any way you want. I just think you are making a huge mistake by only including folks who are already butch femme identified. It takes work to build an inclusive community. However in order to build an inclusive community, you must want to build that inclusive community. I would ask you what your goal is in having these exclusive gatherings.

Thank you for your un-elicited patronage re: The Importance of Inviting Non-Butch-Femmes to Butch-Femme Events. How dare you make ridiculous absurd assumptions about people who want to create "Butch-Femme Space". If you want to "step - and- fetch" and be ever so grateful for every inch of queer space you get- GOOD FOR YOU! We Don't Care To Do That. We izzz NOHO- Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
hahahahaha.

Blavatsky

02-21-2008, 08:18 PM

you dont like my attacking tone, but its okay for *others to "attack" musicfemme with her father situation. eh?

*note* i say "others" as not as in "you" just in case you think i am "attacking" you too.

:s

I don't think anyone "attacked" the lovely musicfemme, and NO, I don't feel "attacked" by you! HERE- Lemme buy you a beer....

miss robin

02-21-2008, 08:29 PM

Since the peanut gallery has now spun this into something it's not, with such rude and inaccurate depictions of me, let me cut 'n' paste all my messages in the last couple days since Musicfemme asked if her father could come. I have not attacked her or anyone:

I agree that meeting your father, or any friend's father, is perfectly fine in mixed company, but I don't want to socialize with a straight man, who is probably around my age, at a butch/femme gathering. It's not about the person himself, but that I would be inhibited in ways I'm not when we're just among ourselves. It's nice that your father is visiting you though!

We're going to have the gatherings every week and I hope you can make the next one.

Miss Robin

Clearly we all have different ideas of how we construct community. I need a breather from some populations so I can feel reified among others, which is why I've been so insistent about creating a b/f gathering.

I do choose groups, such as this web site, based on specificity. You all chose this site for the same reason. And once in a specific group, I discuss, and learn, and meet people, and maybe teach and be entertaining, and have a whole host of experiences that I don't when I'm in the general population.

And when I'm with different groups, I act differently in ways that I enjoy or I wouldn't seek out the group. In our b/f group I'm more easy-going, high-spirited and flirtatious, talkative, less self-conscious than I am when I'm around straight people, especially men.

My impulse is to bow out tonight. I don't like tension. I feel like just saying fuck it, let them have the dad and their drinks, I'll find community elsewhere. But there's just some huge irony in being silenced as a queer and a woman so that a male can attend a b/f gathering. Also, a new couple are coming down from NH and a new butch from our area will be there, and I think it's rude for me not be there when I said I would.

I also know, based on my age and observations and the history of consciousness, that the presence of a straight male will alter the dynamics of our group. With new people coming, I would like to offer them a place to share their identities and desires and whatever else comes up without being hindered.

Miss Robin
p.s. Tbear, I do not exist as a teaching tool. People who want to learn about populations that are not theirs can find zillions of resources designed to teach them. But talk about exclusive: How about the many trans groups in the Valley? They advertise closed meetings, and generally are not for anyone but transmen. Have you busted them? Why not send them this comment: "How do you all expect allies and the like to learn and grow with our community if you only marginalize their understanding of us? I never expected Northampton people to be so closed minded."

S1, thank you for your reasoned suggestion that this not be hashed out further on here.

Without reopening worm cans, I want to acknowlege StB's post. He made valuable points and asked great questions.

Thank you for taking the time to think about all that and write about it.

Miss Robin

Pearls,
ScentsofAutumn also mentioned on the thread wanting to come up on a weekend. I'm all for it. Maybe we should plan an afternoon event -- a brunch or afternoon tea. I'd have to think of where since it should be a place that accomodates a group.

Anyone have suggestions?

Miss Robin

Oh, that's right! That was a good place because there was a lot of food and a lot of room.

(I'll be right back) ....

It's Union Station. Here's the link for brunch. It's $16.95 per person.

http://www.unionstationrestaurant.com/design/index.php?sv=9&sm=7

Are people interested in this? If so, why don't we pick a Sunday -- maybe March 2nd or 9th? -- I'll gather names and call for a reservation.

Miss Robin

(laughing!) Maybe it's an S.O.S.: Martinis Ho!. Car Departs NH. Happy Butch at Wheel. Sweet Femme Alongside.

Miss. Robin.

Message of Intent (for what it's worth)

The new weekly social group is a small group of butches and femmes who meet once a week in a quiet close space that lends itself to intimacy. The idea for this group sprang from two b/f couples on the site who thought -- since we write on here to one another and live in the same town -- we should get-together more often.

It did not start as, nor is it intended to be, a support group, an informational group, or an educational meeting.

At our three gatherings so far, the group has been butches and femmes from the site, or who are interested in the site. We talk about a lot of issues that come up on the site -- such as relationships, gender, identity, sex -- and we speak about them uninhibitedly.

Since I am the one who has been promoting the weekly gathering, I could easily have emailed only friends but the site seemed an easy way to invite and meet new butches and femmes in the area.

I should also add that I have been trying to pull together a b/f social group for years. In the Pioneer Valley there are six social groups for transmen alone, a handful for lesbians, and none for butches and femmes. In 2005 and 2006, I co-created a butch/femme weekend in Northampton that was well attended and a lot of fun. My time and heart are in this because sometimes it's just nice to get together socially with a group who share the same unique status in the world that you do.

Miss Robin

Softness, it was great to meet you last night. I really enjoyed chatting with both you and NHPB. A spring event at the farm sounds like a blast! Though I will have to wear different shoes, as will S1 in those phat and phar out ostrich/crocodile treads (h)

Boxer it was great to socialize with you and hear the wild tales of a post office butch. You're so energetic!

Cicibird, thank you for bringing you smartyskirt friend. I loved her zest! I wish she were around to come back again. I read the Judy fanzines. Hilarious! We'll have you over for dinner soon so you don't have to suffer college food for one night.

Infinitblu, so nice to see you! I'm glad you're a regular. Bring back that handsome young butch again.

Biker! What a really nice surprise. It's always great to see you. Thank you for coming.

MxMoxie, mwah! and S1: you guys are just plain old hot. I love your company.

Mister Bone, good stories! You make me laugh, and think. (l)

Miss Robin

There are enough days in the week, locations, and people to have more than one social group. I would like to continue to go to an intimate gathering of butches and femmes once a week at Wiggins Tavern -- whether I plan it, promote it, or just attend it.

I also would like to continue to go to brunches, picnics, bbqs and other non-intimate events with butches, femmes, their kids, family members, straight friends, anybody. There's a time and place for all these things.

A few people mentioned a weekend get-together. I think a Sunday brunch at Union Station would be great. Maybe March 9th or 16th. I'll organize it unless someone else wants to. In a setting like that I think it's great to bring family members and friends.

Miss Robin
(hi Bone. I just got off the phone with you and you said you're going to sleep and I said I'm going to sleep and we both wrote to this thread at the same time. ha! I'm off to bed. Good night. That was a beautiful post, btw. Very passionate, like you.)

Softness, your whole post is beautiful.
I came out when I was 38 (I'm your little sister at 50 ;), though I think we're only 6 months apart) and to be among a group of butches and femmes, uninhibitedly, in a public place, where I can sit on Rob's lap and you and NHPB can exchange a kiss -- to me that is a revolution.

I am so thankful, consciously thankful, in a real way that feels like really giving thanks, that in my lifetime, in the place I live, among the people I know, I have the LUXURY of being an out queer.

And to be political or theoretical for a moment: While I'm in no way a separatist, I do believe that things happen, fabulous things, erotic things, self-awareness, happiness, compassion, learning ... and even political mobility when you don't know you're doing it ... when marginalized groups can come together without anyone from the dominant group among them. This has been proven to be true time and time again by critical race theorists and feminists.

And to ask for just a little space for butches and femmes to be with butches and femmes. A small cozy space at a place where no one else would be on that night, is really not too much to ask.

(And Jesterbutch, I thought your post was right on the money.)

Miss Robin

I love your dance stories, S1.

Can we agree on this: As a butch, your experience of unwanted male attention is different than mine as a femme?

I've been in scenarios like the one you describe, in which males and females are doing something together -- like everyday at the gym -- and what you may not be detecting is that males may not be overt in their attention, esp. in Northampton, but there are many ways they make women, such as me, uncomfortable.

I have been surprised many many times, when I think I'm just being friendly or that a male and I are chit-chatting, and then they make a comment about my body or ask if I'm single or come over to me at the gym and touch me while "showing me how to use better form." :@ I never experience this same kind of ... predatory is too strong a word ... but "learned entitlement," from females. And as a threapist told me long ago, I don't understand the social clues that tell me this is going to happen because my focus is not a heterosexual one. Therefore, I really am careful about the casual interactions I have with male peers.

One more point regarding the dance class scenario and what Jesterbutch wrote about. When do straight males get challenged in the way that they act towards women? They don't. Try this scenario: Stick a straight male and his wife in an all-gay male dance class -- the only dance class he can attend because this is on another planet in a remote future -- and have a few gay men smiling flirtatiously at him. Would he be expected to suck it up and deal with it and go dance with them?

Miss Robin

It looks like no one is agreeing on much of anything on this thread. I'm bowing out of the discussion.

I suggest that Tues or Wed night at 7:30pm at Wiggins Tavern (called "The Wig" by MsMoxie. ha!) remains a butch/femme evening.

And other events, one of which I'll gladly plan for a weekend afternoon, can be for those of us on the thread and anyone else we meet, fuck, love, are related to, or want to bring.

As far as any other collection of people meeting, feel free to start a group. No one is inhibiting anyone from doing so.

Also, I'm posting a photo in the gallery of our last gathering. It's a very small place, usually not queer, and not one that people are likely to just wander into.

Miss Robin

Hi Boxer!
Good to see you're still on here. This ruckus has never happened before on this thread as far as I know!

Sorry you had a trying day in the post office. People didn't know what they wanted when they came to your window? How many choices are there? I'll have a quart of milk and 20 stamps? Maybe you flustered them with your take-no-shit attitude. ;)

See you next Tuesday.

**Bonus question: Does anyone know what that's code for? Hint: C-U-Next-Tuesday

Miss Robin
p.s. Hey there Toughy from across the country! There's really no comparing the bay area socials at the Eagle and White Horse -- totally queer bars with lots of space for everone that are impervious to being altered in any way short of a police raid -- with our teeny-weeny gathering at a staunch bar in a stiff uptight very unqueer hotel.

Toughy

02-21-2008, 08:31 PM

Thank you for your un-elicited patronage re: The Importance of Inviting Non-Butch-Femmes to Butch-Femme Events. How dare you make ridiculous absurd assumptions about people who want to create "Butch-Femme Space". If you want to "step - and- fetch" and be ever so grateful for every inch of queer space you get- GOOD FOR YOU! We Don't Care To Do That. We izzz NOHO- Yoooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
hahahahaha.

laughin.....

dude what in the hell are you talking about?????

I am absolutely committed to creating 'butch/femme space'. If you don't get that then come to the Bay Area so that you may attend one of our Socials and understand what I am talking about. I welcome your visit anytime. If you can't come when one of our regular socials occur, then we will be happy to welcome you with an impromtu social.

Do you need clarification on something I said? I don't think I have ever made a ridiculous absurd assuption in my life. Would you like to point out what you think I said that is ridiculous and absurd and an assumption?

Could you clarify what you mean by 'step - and - fetch'? I am not familiar with that terminology.

Do what you want and create community in the way you want. I just was offering a perspective on how the butch/femme community was/is viable in the SF and Oakland area.

Blavatsky

02-21-2008, 08:34 PM

akadyke

02-21-2008, 08:36 PM

It looks like no one is agreeing on much of anything on this thread. I'm bowing out of the discussion.
]Miss Robin[/COLOR]

this is the funny part in all of it...

"i'm bowing out of this discussion"

but you still continue to post more posts about the topic.

this should so go in the :| thread.

Blavatsky

02-21-2008, 08:39 PM

laughin.....

dude what in the hell are you talking about?????

I am absolutely committed to creating 'butch/femme space'. If you don't get that then come to the Bay Area so that you may attend one of our Socials and understand what I am talking about. I welcome your visit anytime. If you can't come when one of our regular socials occur, then we will be happy to welcome you with an impromtu social.

Do you need clarification on something I said? I don't think I have ever made a ridiculous absurd assuption in my life. Would you like to point out what you think I said that is ridiculous and absurd and an assumption?

Could you clarify what you mean by 'step - and - fetch'? I am not familiar with that terminology.

Do what you want and create community in the way you want. I just was offering a perspective on how the butch/femme community was/is viable in the SF and Oakland area.

"Never made a ridiculous absurd assumption in my life" Really?!?! WOW. yes. I would definately like to meet you- you are like the Pope!!! Never heard of "step and fetch" , ok, wow, you should check it "dude". It's some heavy shit. We WILL do what we want. Thanks for your "offered perspective". (I mean that actually- I'm sure- Somehow, that your intentions were good...)
P.S. NOHO ROCKS

Blavatsky

02-21-2008, 08:42 PM

this is the funny part in all of it...

"i'm bowing out of this discussion"

but you still continue to post many more posts about the topic.

this should so go in the :| thread.

I am rapidly losing patience with you. Why are you even stalking our local thread?

Toughy

02-21-2008, 08:44 PM

What is your beef with me?

I have asked for clarification and extended a hand in community. I received sarcasm and derision in return. Suit yourself. However, if you do ever come to the Bay Area....pm me if you would like to meet the local b/f community.

edited to add.........if you are gonna put my words in quotes then at least get the quote right....and answer the question I asked for clarification.....

Blavatsky

02-21-2008, 08:49 PM

What is your beef with me?

I have asked for clarification and extended a hand in community. I received sarcasm and derision in return. Suit yourself. However, if you do ever come to the Bay Area....pm me if you would like to meet the local b/f community.

Toughy- I have no beef with you. Although we have yet to meet, I respect what you have done for the community. We know what we are doing here in NOHO. Sorry if I was curt- and I admit I was. My apologies- tempers flared. Thank you for extending the olive branch.

akadyke

02-21-2008, 08:50 PM

I am rapidly losing patience with you. Why are you even stalking our local thread?

i was invited to come to a b.f social when i would be in town... so if i wanted to come dont you think i should know what you all are talking about?

i guess not.

Sophisticated1

02-21-2008, 08:54 PM

:|

So… I hear the weather is going to get a little dicey tomorrow. We have severe weather warnings and it looks as though we are expecting 2 to 4 inches of snow. (im think how "severe" is 2 to 4 inches of snow) But anyway, I hope all that will be out and about will be safe on the roads. …

1, S1

Toughy

02-21-2008, 09:00 PM

Toughy- I have no beef with you. Although we have yet to meet, I respect what you have done for the community. We know what we are doing here in NOHO. Sorry if I was curt- and I admit I was. My apologies- tempers flared. Thank you for extending the olive branch.

I never said you didn't know what you were doing. I offered a perspective from another b/f community.

How about you answer my questions for clarification? Or am I to assume you were just pissed and mouthing off based on this post? I am not being antagonistic here. I still want to know what you meant by 'step and fetch'.....and I will not take offense.

YW for the olive branch...........and it still exists.....and always will to any b/f folk and our allies who come to the Bay Area.

Kiwi

02-21-2008, 09:18 PM

Deep breaths folks. I see that this has been a rather intense discussion and I commend most of you for being able to step back from the brink of TOS violations such as name-calling, attacking, etc. Please remember we all want to be heard and treated with respect, even when our opinions differ.

One note -- I have been to at least two Butch-Femme bashes where an attendee or two did bring a parent or other non-B-F family member along.

Kiwi

Stone_to_bone

02-21-2008, 09:19 PM

Do we really need a "fruit" to zoom in and slap our wrists before we as a collective group decide to cut out the bullshit?

This whole thing has taken a really unnecessarily mean turn, complete with rude behavior and invectives thrown around all over the place and I have to say, I think its indulgent and mean-spirited.

I thought it was polite and thoughtful of you, musicfemme, to ask how others felt about you wanting to bring your father.

I wrote this back, in my first post:

** I, for one, would enjoy meeting your father if we ran into you on the street or saw you out at a restaurant but would really value, after being surrounded by straight men for 50 hours a week at work, just spending time with my b-f friends at Wiggins Tavern.

I think the presence of a straight bioman (I don't mean to reduce your father to a gender factoid, but I want to differentiate between biomen and transguys here) necessarily changes the whole dynamic of our gathering and would certainly inhibit me in various ways.**

And it seemed like you understood my response, but you also seemed miffed or hurt or something that I couldn't "read" in cyberspeak but might have understood if I could have seen your face. Which is why I responded with this:

** I really hope you understand. I certainly don't want to seem unwelcoming to you, or to anyone else on the site but I felt like since you asked, I should be honest.**

Since then its become a free-for-all. Robin and I didn't host this event at home bc we want new butches and femmes to be able to drop in easily, space to have little groups form out of the big one and the coziness of a fireplace, which we don't have at home. We could have kept this private but we opened it up NOT to everyone in the world, but to this list, specifically bc its a list of butches and femmes.

I did not open it up to the toyota website where I work or to the lesbian gardening list or to other lists robin and I are a part of bc those weren't populations we wanted to socialize with on this particular night. Does that make sense? Do we "own" the event or the night or the bar? Of course not and its a ridicuous suggestion. But we did come up with an idea for an evening event and suddenly there are people all over the country telling us who we should and shouldn't invite? That's insane. And suggesting that bc we, as queers, are mean or unwelcoming or hating of one group bc we want to have a night when we just socialize with other queers IS CRAZY.

This whole discussion has nothing to do with the actual event or the choices we made around it or even music's feelings about her father or any of it. This has become some kind of feeding frenzy and seems to be about pointing fingers and blaming and vilifying either robin or music or whoever and I would just like to suggest that we end the whole thing.

I certainly didn't mean to offend music, I've said that more than once and it was really between the two of us. Mabye my rying to get people to consider the bigger iddues, the politics of "space" etc felt too removed? If that offended people, I'm sorry but I think those questions, still unanswered, are valid and might help us avid this stuff in the future.

Unfortunately, posts like yours, teddy, have pushed this into a whole other realm of hostility. Your posts were aggressive and rude and having met you in person more than once, I was pretty shocked at the way you behaved online. Not one of the rude-posters thought to ask a question of me or of music or of anyone really, they just launched in with the accusations, sarcasm, etc. There was clearly no desire to understand what was said or why--only the chomping at the bit to throw the first rock.

This stream of crap is embarrassing. Have a little self control and think for a minute before tossing around your anger. Its tempting to not temper one's comments when speaking from behnd the veil of the internet, but since when is ok to act wiht no ethic, no decorum, no civility simply bc we aren't facing each other in real time?

STB

Kiwi

02-21-2008, 09:31 PM

Hey STB, I just came in and moderated the thread, and yes, I needed to do it for exactly the reasons you outlined. But since I have done it, I think it best to move on now.
Thanks,
Kiwi

msmoxie

02-21-2008, 09:37 PM

I've unbunched my panties after coming completely undone earlier. I am appalled by my own behavior. :$

I would really love for us to move away from this topic and rebuild a bit of normalcy.
(hee. we're all a bunch of queer folk, some would say there is nothing normal about any of us, and certainly not collectively!)

I really appreciate the input from other posters who do not visit our thread often.

so, anyway. we missed you, those that did not attend. We had great convos about a huge variety of topics, and laughed and admired and teased one another. Let's see. The dish. S1 had on this great tie and posh crocodile phat shoes the other night. oh. how fabulous. and I had on the most dreadfully frumpy pair of nurseyclogs that terribly clashed with not only my date, but my velvet black jeans.Miss Robin was wearing a very fine black knit top with mauve (raspberry?) detailing, and had such the fierce pair of patent leather black pumps. Cici had on a divine dress, her friend wore red, and Biker and Boxer had fab short cuts, mr bone's hair was fab, too, as always. Infinitblu was there and retired early, so she could wake with the birds, as did her companion. Softness has the MOST amazing faux fur coat, and I carressed it wantonly for quite some time. ahem. NHPB shared more candy and the beverage called moxie (eep. perhaps i displayed the "nature" of my screenname earlier today.) the bartender is absolutely gracious and LOVES us. She LOVES us. As does the hostess, who takes our pics ever so patiently.

true, the wig is the hotel restaurant of an old hotel with a conservative and colonial tradition. however, the town, and clientele, are not so priggish anymore.( i mean really, this is noho, the lesbian mecca we are talking about. sheesh.) the wig itself generally has NO customers other than us midweek. and despite our trainwreck this week, we are a fun loving and welcoming bunch. hope ya'll join us sometime.

cheers to all, mox

miss robin

02-21-2008, 09:42 PM

I thought I'd mention an event at MASS MoCA that Rob and I are going to in a couple weeks (March 8) in case others are interested. Chelsea Bacon is a friend of mine from NYC who performs narratives on a trapeze. It's really unusual and gorgeous work. Here's a link and some excerpts from the blurb:

http://www.massmoca.org/event_details.php?id=362

Aerialist Chelsea Bacon and ”renegade” ballerina Sally Rousse bring Trickpony to MASS MoCA on Saturday, March 8, 2008 at 8 PM in Club B-10. This aerial dance/theater work focuses on extreme minds and how they cause outstanding and peculiar behavior.

Three apparatuses that resemble both trapeze swings and platforms allow Bacon and Rousse to leap, dangle, and interact with one another while simultaneously and individually portraying dreams, drawings, ideas, the brain, and the different sides of a single child. The 70-minute performance also features musical selections from the Kronos Quartet, Dirty Three, Mozart, Amoebic Ensemble, Savage Aural Hotbed, traditional Vietnamese songs, and an original arrangement recorded and engineered by James Sewell with Mark Stillman (accordian) and William Schrickel (double bass) arranged by Rousse.

:| So… I hear the weather is going to get a little dicey tomorrow. We have severe weather warnings and it looks as though we are expecting 2 to 4 inches of snow. (im think how "severe" is 2 to 4 inches of snow) But anyway, I hope all that will be out and about will be safe on the roads. …1, S1

S1, you crack me up.

and MsMoxie, love the Hedda Hopper number. xoxo

Miss Robin

Stone_to_bone

02-21-2008, 09:43 PM

Kiwi

The truth is that, being a pretty bad typist, I type with the kind of myopic focus that means that I miss everything else going on. We were typing at the same time (except I was typing for a full half hour ;) and I didn't see you there.

That said, I'm happy to move on.

Moving on:
Is there anyone else out there who's a big Shirley Jackson fan? I wrote my undergraduate honors thesis on her book, We Have Always Lived in the Castle. She was a very strange mix of classy and trashy-rich and empowered vis class status and education but repulsive in ways--weird habits, unkemp appearance, never shy about swearing and speaking her (very strange) mind...she seems relevant in thinking about the intersectin of, and the tension between, classy and trashy; her stories and books, of which The Lottery is the most often-read, came to mind in reading this thread.

STB

Hey STB, I just came in and moderated the thread, and yes, I needed to do it for exactly the reasons you outlined. But since I have done it, I think it best to move on now.
Thanks,
Kiwi

msmoxie

02-21-2008, 09:50 PM

Laughing.
Bone, i share your affliction.
I know a great eye doctor.

Kiwi, and Bone, and S1, thank you (f)

(btw, S1--where'd you put windy?? so brief, so funny, so needed.)

Kiwi

The truth is that, being a pretty bad typist, I type with the kind of myopic focus that means that I miss everything else going on. We were typing at the same time (except I was typing for a full half hour ;) and I didn't see you there.

That said, I'm happy to move on.

Moving on:
Is there anyone else out there who's a big Shirley Jackson fan? I wrote my undergraduate honors thesis on her book, We Have Always Lived in the Castle. She was a very strange mix of classy and trashy-rich and empowered vis class status and education but repulsive in ways--weird habits, unkemp appearance, never shy about swearing and speaking her (very strange) mind...she seems relevant in thinking about the intersectin of, and the tension between, classy and trashy; her stories and books, of which The Lottery is the most often-read, came to mind in reading this thread.

STB

msmoxie

02-21-2008, 09:52 PM

Hedda Hopper???

I thought I'd mention an event at MASS MoCA that Rob and I are going to in a couple weeks (March 8) in case others are interested. Chelsea Bacon is a friend of mine from NYC who performs narratives on a trapeze. It's really unusual and gorgeous work. Here's a link and some excerpts from the blurb:

http://www.massmoca.org/event_details.php?id=362

Aerialist Chelsea Bacon and ”renegade” ballerina Sally Rousse bring Trickpony to MASS MoCA on Saturday, March 8, 2008 at 8 PM in Club B-10. This aerial dance/theater work focuses on extreme minds and how they cause outstanding and peculiar behavior.

Three apparatuses that resemble both trapeze swings and platforms allow Bacon and Rousse to leap, dangle, and interact with one another while simultaneously and individually portraying dreams, drawings, ideas, the brain, and the different sides of a single child. The 70-minute performance also features musical selections from the Kronos Quartet, Dirty Three, Mozart, Amoebic Ensemble, Savage Aural Hotbed, traditional Vietnamese songs, and an original arrangement recorded and engineered by James Sewell with Mark Stillman (accordian) and William Schrickel (double bass) arranged by Rousse.

S1, you crack me up.

and MsMoxie, love the Hedda Hopper number. xoxo

Miss Robin

Blavatsky

02-21-2008, 09:56 PM

Kiwi

The truth is that, being a pretty bad typist, I type with the kind of myopic focus that means that I miss everything else going on. We were typing at the same time (except I was typing for a full half hour ;) and I didn't see you there.

That said, I'm happy to move on.

Moving on:
Is there anyone else out there who's a big Shirley Jackson fan? I wrote my undergraduate honors thesis on her book, We Have Always Lived in the Castle. She was a very strange mix of classy and trashy-rich and empowered vis class status and education but repulsive in ways--weird habits, unkemp appearance, never shy about swearing and speaking her (very strange) mind...she seems relevant in thinking about the intersectin of, and the tension between, classy and trashy; her stories and books, of which The Lottery is the most often-read, came to mind in reading this thread.

STB

Shirley Jackson is Da Bomb.
(yes-I specialize in outdated ebonics)
What a timely and appropriate reference.
She was a genius.

Stone_to_bone

02-21-2008, 10:00 PM

Shirley Jackson is Da Bomb.
(yes-I specialize in outdated ebonics)

Yes, I was a little undone by her in college. She's (dead, but) brilliant. And talked about power and fear and horror in ways no one else did at that time.

miss robin

02-21-2008, 10:03 PM

Hedda Hopper???

Her name is synonymous with details about celebs. She was one of the first official gossip columnists. I was riffing about your fabulous details of our outfits. (h)

from Wikipedia:
Hedda Hopper (May 2 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_2), 1885 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1885) – February 1 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February_1), 1966 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1966)) was an American (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States)actress (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Actor) and gossip columnist (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gossip_columnist), ... She was noted for her hats, considered her trademark, ... She was known for hobnobbing with the biggest names in the industry, for getting a "scoop" before almost anyone else most of the time,

Miss Robin

msmoxie

02-21-2008, 10:07 PM

;) she gets it. thanks, miss.

Her name is synonymous with details about celebs. She was one of the first official gossip columnists. I was riffing about your fabulous details of our outfits. (h)

from Wikipedia:
Hedda Hopper (May 2 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/May_2), 1885 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1885) – February 1 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/February_1), 1966 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1966)) was an American (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States)actress (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Actor) and gossip columnist (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gossip_columnist), ... She was noted for her hats, considered her trademark, ... She was known for hobnobbing with the biggest names in the industry, for getting a "scoop" before almost anyone else most of the time,

Miss Robin

JesterButch

02-22-2008, 10:06 AM

(ip)(ip)(ip)(ip)(ip) I am dreaming of Hawaii(ip)(ip)(ip)(ip)(ip)
and wondering ALOUD why I don't live there anymore
on days like this....as I slide to the frozen mailbox and back muttering and spitting, frozen snot on my face (sorry more than you needed to know, TMI as they say, TMI)
did I mention FROZEN fuggin TUNDRA of ice driveway ?
yeah, snowed in
in paradise DOESN'T HAPPEN(ip)(ip)(ip)(ip)(ip)(ip)

this was a really bad time to give up tequila +o(
pina coladas
blue hawaiians
sex on the beach
harvey wallbangers
screw drivers
mudslide
white russians

I spent my last five dollars on birth control and beer (b)
I hope this served as, at least, a nice commercial
now back to our regular scheduled games
play nice (ap) I'm OUT :P

creme de menthe
martini
margaritas
long island ice tea
saki
drambuie
blow job|-)
hurricane
Captain and Coke
Bloody Mary
Irish Coffee
Gin and Juice
Harvey Wallbanger
(d)(d)(d)(d)(d)Cosmopolitan(d)(d)(d)(d)(d)

softness

02-22-2008, 10:18 AM

[quote=miss robin;2765947]Softness, your whole post is beautiful.
I came out when I was 38 (I'm your little sister at 50 ;), though I think we're only 6 months apart) and to be among a group of butches and femmes, uninhibitedly, in a public place, where I can sit on Rob's lap and you and NHPB can exchange a kiss -- to me that is a revolution.

thank you, Ma'am...and might I say I have never had a little sister and am pleased with your remark...

LizSybarite

02-22-2008, 10:28 AM

I just wanted to say that I'm so glad people are getting together regularly, in whatever form that may take, and I deeply appreciate the efforts made to have regular outings that people can drop in on (yay for ending sentences with prepositions!) I'm sorry I didn't make it on Tuesday - it sounds like I really missed out! I will definitely be back.

As a fairly nontraditional femme in some regards (same goes for my spouse - uhh, except substitute butch for femme, haha), and as someone who does not fit fully into the lesbian box, I appreciate ANY inclusive efforts. But I can also accept and respect those that are not. There's room enough in this town for all of us, I think. :)

Also, I gotta share the dad love! My dad is definitely one of my rocks (the other, of course, being my spouse) - he's fabulously loving, accepting and - especially given that he's my only surviving parent - I'm extremely lucky to have him. He's far from perfect, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm counting my blessings in many respects today, and I look forward to seeing you all again soon and meeting the newcomers! xoxo

infinitblu

02-22-2008, 02:40 PM

Sophisticated1

02-22-2008, 03:22 PM

It's with complete confidence that I hazard the following:

If those on one side of this argument stood in a dimply lit room with those on the opposing, having had the benefit of either a drink, a good meal, or a good laugh sometime in the not-too-distant past, they'd surely be grateful for one another's company, and would enjoy the resulting conversation.

I've only just started checking this site with any kind of regularity. Kindly put aside the differences so as to free up some collective b-f mental energy. For only if the energy is available might some of it be directed flirtatiously at me!

(pre-emptive response to those gearing up to pen "Don't-minimalize-this-issue,-Newbie-Creep!"-posts: Nothing is hotter than an eager sense of humor.)

Might I just say, GRAND SO! (b)

LOL! While I am rather unavailable for that which might deemed “flirtatious,” I am entirely available for any discussion that includes anyone with such a bright and quick sense of humor! Do count me in.

Ha, and have no fear, I am not at present preparing any caustic communications regarding issue tampering or your rather late appearance on the site. Though, I might simply ask however, WHERE have you been??!!??

That out of the way, I must also insist that you frequent the place often!

Carry on

1, S1

msmoxie

02-22-2008, 03:31 PM

Hey Infinitblu--so glad you came to visit us.

I know.:s

It got sooo nutty in here. I am still recovering and feel sheepish to post. But I figure, I put my strop on and, at one turn did it quite poorly... and, well, all I can do is apologize, get back up and hope that the rest of us do, too.

Thanks for the vote of confidence. It's true--we can all have a good time, and enjoy one another's company despite our differences of opinions of a variety of subjects--and we do!

I think we're turning into one big married couple or something. Welcome to the fold. I mean, the fray, I mean, the fam....it's all one big crazy (g).
(l)mox

Sophisticated1

02-22-2008, 03:33 PM

[COLOR=darkslateblue]S1, you crack me up.Miss Robin

lol maybe.... but I was correct about the weather wasn't I?;)

.... 8-) .....:|....hey, "I'm on top a'the world ma!" -- :-* my Cagney immitation;)

1, S1

msmoxie

02-22-2008, 03:39 PM

S1 has clearly taken on the role of the Chamber of Celtic Commerce's Welcome Wagon. ;)

so in that spirit, can we have a bake sale? a potluck? a drumming circle?
kumbaya.

hey, whatever happened to the announcements?
let's hand out the titles. who cares if the wtf dance is over.

btw, next week at the wig, anyone wanna play dress up?
--mox

Might I just say, GRAND SO! (b)

LOL! While I am rather unavailable for that which might deemed “flirtatious,” I am entirely available for any discussion that includes anyone with such a bright and quick sense of humor! Do count me in.

Ha, and have no fear, I am not at present preparing any caustic communications regarding issue tampering or your rather late appearance on the site. Though, I might simply ask however, WHERE have you been??!!??

That out of the way, I must also insist that you frequent the place often!

Carry on

1, S1

Sophisticated1

02-22-2008, 03:46 PM

S1 has clearly taken on the role of the Chamber of Celtic Commerce's Welcome Wagon. ;)

so in that spirit, can we have a bake sale? a potluck? a drumming circle?
kumbaya.

hey, whatever happened to the announcements?
let's hand out the titles. who cares if the wtf dance is over.

btw, next week at the wig, anyone wanna play dress up?
--mox

:| :| :| Did....did you say "drumming circle?" My, but you DO have a grand sense of humor! ^o) yessss, I should think I would have to skip that one altogether.

I believe it is the "Celtic Chamber of Thus and Such." We like to keep our options open. Speaking of which. I'm still pondering a Celtic contingent in the pride march.;)

1,S1

miss robin

02-22-2008, 04:12 PM

I just wanted to say that I'm so glad people are getting together regularly, in whatever form that may take, and I deeply appreciate the efforts made to have regular outings that people can drop in on (yay for ending sentences with prepositions!) I'm sorry I didn't make it on Tuesday - it sounds like I really missed out! I will definitely be back.

I've only just started checking this site with any kind of regularity. Kindly put aside the differences so as to free up some collective b-f mental energy. For only if the energy is available might some of it be directed flirtatiously at me!

Infinit, I was going to suggest you post a photo, and alas, you did! Liz, you too! I love those photos of you from Pride and your wedding. Nice post. I hope you can come next week.

Infinit, I'm confident you're going to have a fan club on the site. There're a lot of smart, good-looking young butches who will appreciate your wit, good writing, and sexy femme looks.

btw, next week at the wig, anyone wanna play dress up?
--mox

Maybe we can do the shoe thing that we were talking about. How about everyone wear (or bring) shoes that are very butch or fuck-me stilletos or whatever. And then we'll take photos (p) :)

lol maybe.... but I was correct about the weather wasn't I?;)

Thanks S1.

I'm actually venturing out now with The Bone to go to the movies. I think this is a crazy idea.

Miss Robin

Blavatsky

02-22-2008, 04:32 PM

boxergal46

02-22-2008, 05:01 PM

Happy snowey evening all +o(.
Good lord I thought I would never finish shoveling :s but here I sit chipper as ever :D. First let me tell you Ms. Robin TY for the post, lol yes I will sell you a gallon of milk and some stamps (e), to funny, and hell yea I am energetic, lol. You also said see you tuesday night. I know you's usually go on a Wednesday night, has it changed to Tuesday night this week which is the 26th? If anyone is getting together for the brunch just count me in, but you will have to remind me, lately I have a bad case of CRS :|. As for your comment on Ms. Infinate :-*, I am not a fan club, I am smart, (have a job, lol) good looking maybe? I have not been told I am ugly, and no I am not that young, but do so appreciate a woman that has a great sence of humor, for we all so need laughter in our lives. I love to laughhhhhhhhh, it can put a smile on ones heart, and I do so enjoy a foo foo femme, so it would be a pleasure to meet you Infinate. I so enjoyed Tuesday, Lol, a fly went by and I changed the subject. Ok Boxer concentrate while you are thawing out. Ok, well have to go chat with my friends and play some games on pogo before I go to sleep for the evening, have to be up at 3 and play like I want to be at work at 5, lol. Hope everyone has a pleasant evening and if you are going out, don't go :D.
Boxer

softness

02-22-2008, 05:19 PM

[quote=msmoxie;2766494. Softness has the MOST amazing faux fur coat, and I carressed it wantonly for quite some time. ahem. NHPB shared more candy and the beverage called moxie (eep. perhaps i displayed the "nature" of my screenname earlier today.)

NHPB told me this morning you had made mention of my quote. Dear girl...you may wantonly pet my coat anytime you wish...thank you kindly for the mention of it...wait until I wear my full length fauz blue fox. You will die to slip into it!

and I too admired Ms Robin's patent leather shoes...bad backs make it prohibitive for me to wear heels anylonger (well...at least when I am upright..lol)....but I do so admire a good trim ankle of a sister femme in knock out heels...

LOVED your hat, my dear Moxie....

boxergal46

02-22-2008, 05:32 PM

Forgot the thought for the day :$. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Night Boxer

PearlsNLace

02-22-2008, 08:07 PM

Could we have a Saturday Bowling day? I think that would be a lot of fun. I bought a bowling ball at a tag sale this past summer, and I have not used it once. Sometimes..er, ok OFTEN, when I am meeting a lot of new people, I get a bit quite and uncomfortable. And an activity like bowling is a great way for me to break up my tension- its something to do with my hands, you know? When I was just comming out, and hanging out in the cafe all the queer folk lurked in my home town, I would give random massages to people, just for something to do. Now, that wouldnt be real respectful of my butch, you know?
So, Bowling sounds like something I could really enjoy, and I would like meeting all of you.
~Pearls

Stone_to_bone

02-22-2008, 08:29 PM

As a fairly nontraditional femme in some regards (same goes for my spouse - uhh, except substitute butch for femme, haha), and as someone who does not fit fully into the lesbian box, I appreciate ANY inclusive efforts. But I can also accept and respect those that are not. There's room enough in this town for all of us, I think. :)

Looking forward to seeing you next week, Liz. And bring that smart butch of yours.
On another note, its been interesting to read about how many people on this thread seem to have parents they are very close to. Its good to know there are people with loving, supportive families.

Kindly put aside the differences so as to free up some collective b-f mental energy. For only if the energy is available might some of it be directed flirtatiously at me!

(pre-emptive response to those gearing up to pen "Don't-minimalize-this-issue,-Newbie-Creep!"-posts: Nothing is hotter than an eager sense of humor.)

Infinite, you crack me up. I'm so glad you were able to make it the other night and yes, you will certainly be a hit on here.

Could we have a Saturday Bowling day? I think that would be a lot of fun.

I'm up for bowling. I'm terrible at it but always enjoy it. Lets go on a Fri night--Disco Bowling (do they still have that now that the bowling alley's under new ownership, I wonder).

When Robin's kids were little I used to take them bowling and when I went up to get their little-ish shoes the guy behind the counter would always ask if I needed bumpers for the kids and I would tell him, seriously, that the kids were fine but I did need bumpers for myself.

STB

scentsofautumn

02-22-2008, 08:35 PM

ButchFemme Socials of San Francisco and Oakland welcomes everyone who is respectful to our gatherings and we have since Rope and I started them. Please bring your parents/bio family/friends if they are allies. We will be nice and welcoming to them.

Folks can organize however they want, but if you come to one of our Socials....expect to see lots of different kinds of folks, with a huge majority of the butch/femme persuasion....the energy is b/f at our events.

just the 2 cents of our perspective....

My sister and friends attend the B/F local events with me. It just feels so very special when they want to go to meet my friends and be a part of my life. I adore this.

This year my niece and her friends will be going to the NYC dance as well as my sister and our friends.

For San Fran they will be attending with me as well...it's a family affair of love, devotion and caring for one another...it's all about respecting the fine qualities of acceptance.

If I were at this event I would have sat with her dad...conversed and shared stories of life and what have you...bless him for wanting to be there and bless you for bringing him musicfemme.

My dad, bless him in heaven, attended all my events when he was alive...he went everywhere with myself and my sister. Always was he acceptive...cripes, on a good Friday night he would be right there at Birds for happy hour with the gay boys, myself and my sister. NYC??? Yes, I would have invited him just to show him off to my friends and my friends to him.

It's not about being straight nor male...it's all about being an acceptive person...person I say and one that is adored enough to be wanted.

God bless us all...I miss my dad...BTW...when I attended college in Vermont one of his favorite stops and mine as well is Northampton...we stopped on our road trips to have lunch or dinner there and enjoy the walks about town in a totally acceptive environment and, that was wayyyy back in the early 70's. The tradition continued well into the 80's and would still continue if he were still with us.

Just my 02 cents here...god bless america.

softness

02-22-2008, 08:37 PM

I'm up for bowling. I'm terrible at it but always enjoy it. Lets go on a Fri night--Disco Bowling (do they still have that now that the bowling alley's under new ownership, I wonder).

STB[/quote]

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..no say disco....

ever since NHPB found out I use to be a disco queen, he has been begging me to do the bump with him...

(cracking up) and now here you are, suggesting a disco night out with bumpers....oh he is going to have a field day with this at home!

Blavatsky

02-22-2008, 08:42 PM

There is a great bowling alley at NOHO exit 19. I bowled a 238 there once. But usually closer to a 48....lol.

miss robin

02-22-2008, 09:08 PM

You also said see you tuesday night. I know you's usually go on a Wednesday night, has it changed to Tuesday night this week which is the 26th? If anyone is getting together for the brunch just count me in,

After doing an informal survey, it seems that Tuesday night works better for more people, so the next b/f social is:

Tuesday, February 26
7:30 pm
at The Wig aka Wiggins Tavern by the fireplace
Hotel Northampton

Shall we make it a fabulous shoe event? Bring or wear your most fabulous shoes. (We may even get Blavatsky to come down. ;)) We can take photos for the site, though I just posted photos of all my shoes :|

Dear girl...you may wantonly pet my coat anytime you wish...thank you kindly for the mention of it...wait until I wear my full length fauz blue fox. You will die to slip into it!

and I too admired Ms Robin's patent leather shoes...bad backs make it prohibitive for me to wear heels anylonger (well...at least when I am upright..lol)....but I do so admire a good trim ankle of a sister femme in knock out heels...

LOVED your hat, my dear Moxie....

I would love to see the blue coat! And MsMoxie does have fab hats. Thank you for mentioning my shoes. Some shoes are just for sitting, or, uh, lying down, ya know.

(okay okay so this post is a little vapid)

Forgot the thought for the day :$. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit,

Oh gosh darn, I do everything out of selfish ambition and vain conceit. :D Goodnight, Boxer.

Pearls, StB, Blavatsky ~~ Yes to bowling! I'm good at first and then my hand gets tired. Softness, when will you be down again? As Blav said, the bowling alley is right off the highway. We can do disco bowling on a Friday night and then go across the street to Diva's (but wait ... what do you wear to bowl and then dance??)

Miss Robin

Toughy

02-22-2008, 09:11 PM

scentsofautumn

02-22-2008, 09:14 PM

Pearls, StB, Blavatsky ~~ Yes to bowling! I'm good at first and then my hand gets tired. Softness, when will you be down again? As Blav said, the bowling alley is right off the highway. We can do disco bowling on a Friday night and then go across the street to Diva's (but wait ... what do you wear to bowl and then dance??)

Miss Robin

Let me know...I will take that day off to attend this wonderful event...!!!

PearlsNLace

02-22-2008, 09:22 PM

Im still crossing my fingers hoping for a Saturday- It would help make the drive home AFTER the event less beastly.

softness

02-22-2008, 09:31 PM

. Softness, when will you be down again?

Let me know...I will take that day off to attend this wonderful event...!!!

Scents...I am hoping NHPB and I will make it to this Tuesdays night out...after that, I will be moved in by April 1st, I hope. I might come back sooner for a visit if our horses have to be delivered sooner.

I hope I dont speak out of line here, because this is NHPB's house but I am sure that if you wished to stay over, you could stay at our house. We have an extra bedroom. I have it all fixed up for company now.

Stone_to_bone

02-22-2008, 09:43 PM

I hear you scents, about bringing your family to those events. I remember meeting your sister there at the NYC dance years ago and others on this thread have answered my original question with examples of how they've brought family members to b-f events. I'd forgotten about that but its true and its nice that the bigger events we've had have been opened to friends and family of us queers.

I was just pm'ing with a butch who I know in real time about stuff on this thread and I told him that the irony of this whole thing and my response to musicfemme is that if she had brought her father without asking first, anyone who knows me knows that I would have probably been the first one to shake hands and start up a conversation with him. I interact with men pretty easily. I guess I just was hoping this would be a smaller, more intimate thing. Anyway, I don't want to get it going again but I did want to say that I remembered meeting Jonny there.

STB

My sister and friends attend the B/F local events with me. It just feels so very special when they want to go to meet my friends and be a part of my life. I adore this.

This year my niece and her friends will be going to the NYC dance as well as my sister and our friends.

For San Fran they will be attending with me as well...it's a family affair of love, devotion and caring for one another...it's all about respecting the fine qualities of acceptance.

If I were at this event I would have sat with her dad...conversed and shared stories of life and what have you...bless him for wanting to be there and bless you for bringing him musicfemme.

My dad, bless him in heaven, attended all my events when he was alive...he went everywhere with myself and my sister. Always was he acceptive...cripes, on a good Friday night he would be right there at Birds for happy hour with the gay boys, myself and my sister. NYC??? Yes, I would have invited him just to show him off to my friends and my friends to him.

It's not about being straight nor male...it's all about being an acceptive person...person I say and one that is adored enough to be wanted.

God bless us all...I miss my dad...BTW...when I attended college in Vermont one of his favorite stops and mine as well is Northampton...we stopped on our road trips to have lunch or dinner there and enjoy the walks about town in a totally acceptive environment and, that was wayyyy back in the early 70's. The tradition continued well into the 80's and would still continue if he were still with us.

Just my 02 cents here...god bless america.

scentsofautumn

02-23-2008, 05:40 AM

(y)

STB...thank you very much for your thoughts. Very much appreciated.

I understand about a close intimate group just gathering around the fire...just B/F people all conversing about this this n that...that is a sweet deal as well.

I guess when I read the events happenings I became all concerned because I know how I would feel and my heart just skipped a few beats in silence.

But...moving on...

Saturday sounds great as well for an event! It would be really sweet to see everyone again. Maybe on a Saturday I could get a few of the NY friends to join me. I am also still waiting for my dance lesson from S1.

Softness...thank you very much for the invite and that I would take you up on one day with a visit there. Very sweet of you! Hopefully you and NHPB can make it to the dance in the city...April 5th. Otherwise I really look forward to those bar-b-ques for the summer...maybe I can bring my two younger babies to play with Fischer...they interact great with other babies as they go to doggie (&) day care for a day with their friends.
The homefront sounds wonderful...dude ranch gone femme...lol...nice touch :P

I can't make it for a Tuesday event until after April 15th...it's tax season and my work load is tremendous now. I even looked at my calendar after I read about the bowling for a Friday and that I might only be able to leave early from the city to get there...long day :| but well worth the drive to see a great group of people.

Miss Robin...you look tremendous in anything...shoes, clothing, whatever...it all coordinates with your superb smile and gracious ways about you dear friend.

scentsofautumn

02-23-2008, 07:07 AM

scents.......

I miss all my elders....I only wish I can guide others as they guided me...

I always think about my maternal grandmother.....she told me I was butch when I was around 12 yrs old and had NO frigging idea what she was talkiing about....women who wear suits and dance only with other women and it's just fine.........???

I really do understand 'only space'. I will take my comments about '0nly' space to the appropriate thread.

Rock ON......gather where we can gather......provide community....create space.....hold space....

Toughy...I agree Rock ON...

My great aunt was a stone butch from LI/NYC back in the day of the early 1900's.

I had a pic posted of her and will again once I can get it scanned...my laptop crashed and I lost all my pictures. But, sometime over the weekend I will post it again in my gallery.

She was a great influence to the family...her, my other great aunt and my grandmother all hung out back in the day at clubs and socials.

Besides Fire Island there were socials held out in Southampton, LI where she resided in the privacy of their own homes and the city...well, that is just spoken for in itself. Her home has been passed through the generations and my cousin still carries the tradition.

Family, aren't they something? My mom sat me down when I was 13 and told me where my life was heading and to be just who I wanted to be...let it flow and let it be natural...so, I did...and, came out when I was 13. I only wish that I would have been able to hang with my elders back then...but, I would have wanted to walk with the parasol queen that I am at times. :| LMAO...

softness

02-23-2008, 09:58 AM

Softness...thank you very much for the invite and that I would take you up on one day with a visit there. Very sweet of you! Hopefully you and NHPB can make it to the dance in the city...April 5th. Otherwise I really look forward to those bar-b-ques for the summer...maybe I can bring my two younger babies to play with Fischer...they interact great with other babies as they go to doggie (&) day care for a day with their friends.
The homefront sounds wonderful...dude ranch gone femme...lol...nice touch :P

Dude Ranch Gone Femme! I love it! I hope NHPB catches this! We had talked about establishing a B&B for our community...who knows what will rtanspire over time?

Your babies can play with my baby too...her name is Story and she is an 11 year old newfie. She is very gentle and would love to meet your little ones.

I dont think we will make it to the April 5th dance because I will just be moving in that week and it will be slightly overwhelming for me. The horses are arriving then too. And a trip to the city is hard to do with NHPB's schedule. But next year we will make it I am sure! Any excuse for a new fancy dress is good but a night out with BF's!!

I love this little group...so glad its so close by...

KindredWolf

02-23-2008, 11:37 AM

msmoxie

02-23-2008, 06:31 PM

We'll see what we can do, Pearls!!

I must admit, Fri and Sat nights are bad for me. I tend to turn into a hermit on the weekends I don"t have to work--and moreso on the ones I DO have to work!! HAHAHAHA. I am a horrific bowler, but must say excel at a certain twist of the wrist that sends the ball backwards.

Ya'll don't want me on your team. Trust me. ;) But I'll show up for a bit whenever it gets organized.

--mox

Im still crossing my fingers hoping for a Saturday- It would help make the drive home AFTER the event less beastly.

msmoxie

02-23-2008, 06:36 PM

Hilarious! Excellent. Please visit soon!
--mox

I was just checking out the thread because SM asked me last night what I thought of a "quick trip" to Northampton to meet up with all these kick ass people.

Although I have to admit, I'm a little sketchy on whether SMgirl and Miss Robin should be allowed in each other's physical presence... I think they might run off together and be Fabulous Forever. :D Not that they aren't Fabulous now, but they might become the world's first Femme Superheroine Team or something. Fighting ignorance and bad shoes everywhere!

So yeah, just stopping in to say Hello!

PearlsNLace

02-23-2008, 06:47 PM

JesterButch

02-23-2008, 07:57 PM

I just wanted to cast a vote for saturdays in here
it might be crowded with bowling leagues and kiddies but it seems more probable that I could get out on a Saturday than a Saturday nite....

it would be cute if we end up in a league of our own
you know with cute little butch femme uniforms and stuff ;)

I have these really ugly shoes that I bought for work on day when I was exhausted and couldn't see straight (the best time for shopping, yea)
that I think really are bowling shoes

I'm going to start wearing them and when people say
"those look like bowling shoes"
I will be like yep, I am on the B-F team <:o)

miss robin

02-25-2008, 06:24 AM

I was just checking out the thread because SM asked me last night what I thought of a "quick trip" to Northampton to meet up with all these kick ass people. Although I have to admit, I'm a little sketchy on whether SMgirl and Miss Robin should be allowed in each other's physical presence... I think they might run off together and be Fabulous Forever. Not that they aren't Fabulous now, but they might become the world's first Femme Superheroine Team or something. Fighting ignorance and bad shoes everywhere

Kindred, "fighting ignorance and bad shoes everywhere" Ha ha! I love that girl of yours. Do you two really think you would come to Northampton sometime? I know you're across the country. For the summer, we're about 3.5 from Provincetown (queer beach town), and in the fall, this is the place to be with the leaves changing. You're always welcome to stay at my house if you decide to come.

Miss Robin

miss robin

02-25-2008, 06:30 AM

Ms Moxie, what about a Saterday afternoon?
We could all do pizzas and sodas or such.
Id bake my triple chocolate raspberry sin brownies and bring them with us.
We could bowl, have a good time, and then be home Saterday night for the quiet contemplation of our belly buttons
Pearls

Pearls, Scents, Jester, Blavatsky, et al. ~~

I think Saturday afternoon bowling (and baked goods) is a great idea. They have leagues on Sat but I'll call and see if we can reserve a couple lanes after we figure out the day and time.

MsMoxie, can you do the afternoon? I remember your backhanded throw :)

LadyC, will you come although I know you detest bowling shoes?

Scents, can you get away for a Sat during tax season?

So let me throw out some dates to get the ball rolling, so to speak:

~~Bowling With Butches and Babes~~

Saturday, March 8, 15, 22, or 29

(23rd is Easter and I don't know if the day before would conflict for anyone)

How about if you let me know if you CANNOT do one of those dates. Otherwise I'll pick a date based on what the bowling place recommends and maybe see if something is happening around town one of those days/night.

Miss Robin

Lady C Sparkle

02-25-2008, 08:15 AM

LadyC, will you come although I know you detest bowling shoes?

in hopes of not mortally offending any bowling-enthusiasts....

i.don't.bowl. ever. ever. ever!!!
and i most definitely do not put on bowling shoes! (oh the horrors!)
but i shan't bore you all to tears with my issues around that...

***nod to dapper1, co-president of the ISACWIBS in absentia***

but if i am in town the weekend it is scheduled for, I will most definitely come down and say hellooooo & have a chat & a slice of pizza with everyone! :)

softness

02-25-2008, 08:23 AM

in hopes of not mortally offending any bowling-enthusiasts....

i.don't.bowl. ever. ever. ever!!!
and i most definitely do not put on bowling shoes! (oh the horrors!)
but i shan't bore you all to tears with my issues around that...

***nod to dapper1, co-president of the ISACWIBS in absentia***

but if i am in town the weekend it is scheduled for, I will most definitely come down and say hellooooo & have a chat & a slice of pizza with everyone! :)

I also am not a bowler...almost had my right arm ripped off by an auger so I cant bowl.....but would enjoy watching all of you in your bad smelly shoes...

NHPB? Do you bowl?

Sophisticated1

02-25-2008, 10:21 AM

I must state quite emphatically, that I DO NOT support the ripping off of arms with augers! One has to draw the line somewhere after all.

Bad smelly shoes? Heavens no, that won't do. I mean really, picture me sliding my foot into some old, used, worn by who knows what or who, alley shoe that has a history of being lightly sprayed with goodness knows what after each use. (or worse, presumably after each use :|)

I am not trying to twist your ficticious bowling arm Lady Sparkle, but you know, footwear for keggling has improved a bit since Fred and Barny took to the lanes to do battle with the "Rockland Rockets":

http://www.like.com/shoes/bowling?SID=GCN&CID=GCNSHO927063e2dfc545bd

Oh and Good Lady :-* not the red ones in the upper left corner I am most sorry to say

No worries about actually bowling however, I doubt it is a requirement for attendance

S1

miss robin

02-25-2008, 11:05 AM

i.don't.bowl. ever. ever. ever!!!
and i most definitely do not put on bowling shoes! (oh the horrors!)

I also am not a bowler...

Gosh, I'm feeling like a sports lesbian next to you anti-bowling femmes. ;) I'll make sure that whatever date we choose we'll also have a tea of dinner afterward, or something so that the anti-bowlers can be entertained too. But you must come to the bowling alley. I'm not exactly like the I Can't Wait To Go Bowling type. My experience would probably be more like this:

"Where's Robin?" "Does anyone know where Miss Robin is, it's her turn?" Rob yells out, "H O N E Y, IT'S YOUR TURN..." Miss Robin replies, "Wait a minute! I'm in the middle of telling Softness and LadyC a story!" ;)(snicker)

S1, are you suggesting those bowling shoes are attractive?

Miss Robin

Sophisticated1

02-25-2008, 11:28 AM

S1, are you suggesting those bowling shoes are attractive?

Miss Robin

Oh Miss R, really! LOL I am not saying that I think they would be fetching with a nice pair of slacks and a sport coat, or a suit and tie.... (femme translation: or a lovely skirt and top or fabulous frock). Nor am I secretly hoping that bowling shoes become de rigueur. What I am saying is when in Rome, 8-) umm do as the bowlers do... um.. ^o) or something like that anyway! :s

While in the bowling alley and amongst bowlers, a person shod in such shoes would be tres approprié. And the shoes currently available, are in fact an improvement over the bowling shoes that grandma wore.

:D1,S1

Lady C Sparkle

02-25-2008, 12:01 PM

Gosh, I'm feeling like a sports lesbian next to you anti-bowling femmes. ;)

I'm always up for a bit of tennis...or skiing...or kayaking...or hiking.....but bowling +o( is not por moi, nor my feet.

And the shoes currently available, are in fact an improvement over the bowling shoes that grandma wore.

:D1,S1

regretfully, your link does nothing to further that argument :|
(though i was momentarily distracted by the box of red shoes in the top left, ta)

and my Grama would take serious umbridge with you, oh SophisticatedOne! ^o)
(not that *she* ever degraded her feet with bowling shoes either)...(but still....)

Sophisticated1

02-25-2008, 12:15 PM

I'm always up for a bit of tennis...or skiing...or kayaking...or hiking.....but bowling +o( is not por moi, nor my feet.

regretfully, your link does nothing to further that argument :|
(though i was momentarily distracted by the box of red shoes in the top left, ta)

and my Grama would take serious umbridge with you, oh SophisticatedOne! ^o)
(not that *she* ever degraded her feet with bowling shoes either)...(but still....)

LOL Well my most heartfelt apologies to you and your Grama Good Lady! I do quite understand that keggling is not your cup of tea, or hers as it were. Far be it for me to expect you bowl, I rather think that would be like you expecting me to attend a football game (though practically speaking I can't picture you attending and expecting me to as well...but it was the first analogy to pop into my head!)

As far as I am concerned your attendance as an onlooker, fan, heckler, or shoe model would be quite enjoyed all bowling aside. LOL but that being said, I do believe that I never committed to the event anyway, lol so my opinion on the entire matter may be entirely moot! Lol

1,S1

miss robin

02-25-2008, 03:53 PM

It's the B/F Social:

Tuesday, February 26
7:30pm at "The Wig"
Wiggins Tavern
Hotel Noho

MsMoxie and I would like you all to wear or bring your most classy or trashy or butch or femme shoes for a b/f shoe photo.

Miss Robin

softness

02-25-2008, 04:17 PM

[quote=miss robin;2769337]Miss Robin replies, "Wait a minute! I'm in the middle of telling Softness and LadyC a story!" ;)(snicker)

S1, are you suggesting those bowling shoes are attractive?

i will only go if there is no disco there....there are a few things I have done in my life that I will never do again (as in, way past the stage of life where "I will do anything one time" list is way shorter because its almost all been done and tried)

bowling shoes from an alley and disco are amongst the two items this femme will not be doing again....

however, I am a wonderful cheering squad.

so ask me....

How does a therapist cheer?

Sophisticated1

02-25-2008, 05:12 PM

i will only go if there is no disco there....there are a few things I have done in my life that I will never do again (as in, way past the stage of life where "I will do anything one time" list is way shorter because its almost all been done and tried)

bowling shoes from an alley and disco are amongst the two items this femme will not be doing again....

however, I am a wonderful cheering squad.

so ask me....

How does a therapist cheer?

What? :'( No Hot Shot? No Mighty Real? No Knock on Wood? No I Feel Love? ... b...bb...but it is music of my people* :'( Oh dear.

1, *sniff*, S1

(*S1 often claims people or peeps as she may, depending upon the topic at hand. Tonights people in questions, would be the "were teens in the mid-1970's loved to dance espicailly in the boys bars where the music was good and the fights were few" people. )

softness

02-25-2008, 05:22 PM

[quote=Sophisticated1;2769724]What? :'( No Hot Shot? No Mighty Real? No Knock on Wood? No I Feel Love? ... b...bb...but it is music of my people* :'( Oh dear.

1, *sniff*, S1

NO! When I give an AA lead there is a part where I talk about how drinking made me do things that today I am ashamed of. I dont get into any of it except to tell them I wont tell them, except to say DISCO was one of them.

of course everyone laughs...

Yes, I disco-ed. Every night. For quite a few years. I think I associate it with my pseudo- promiscious time with men.

let me explain...

I would find the virgins of the room and work them for drinks while we danced.

I have to tell you, a het male virgin will buy drinks for night after night if he thinks he is going to get to lose ANY of his viriginity eventually....

so I think if I do the bump with ya'all, ye best be virgins....thats the only way I will succumb to the dance card request...

scentsofautumn

02-25-2008, 05:56 PM

Miss Robin...any Saturday is good for me...I don't work on Saturday..I have my other two managers that go in...I am weekend free. I can drop the babies off at doggy day care and have the walker bring them home for me...everyone's playtime day ya know. Just let me know in advance.

Softness...sounds great about my babies meeting all your and the dude's babies...love the idea. (&)

S1...still waiting for my ballroom dance lesson...I am quite serious about that. I watch ballroom dancing on the tube and my are they quite dapper and pretty...I want to learn how to flow around the dance floor with a lady in tow...ummm...not in tow in toe...ummm...whatever the expression is that I forgot...lol. (x)(z)(x)

Sophisticated1

02-25-2008, 06:12 PM

let me explain...
so I think if I do the bump with ya'all, ye best be virgins....thats the only way I will succumb to the dance card request...

LOL! humm well, 8-) I dunno, I can play a pretty good virgin, does that count? (a) LOL :|

Thats all Im saying now

1, :-# S1

KindredWolf

02-25-2008, 07:28 PM

Kindred, "fighting ignorance and bad shoes everywhere" Ha ha! I love that girl of yours. Do you two really think you would come to Northampton sometime? I know you're across the country. For the summer, we're about 3.5 from Provincetown (queer beach town), and in the fall, this is the place to be with the leaves changing. You're always welcome to stay at my house if you decide to come.

Miss Robin

Hey Miss Robin,

You're talking about a gypsy and a Butch that will follow her to the ends of the Earth. Yes, I really think we would come out sometime. I'm not sure when we would be able to, because we have a brand new nephew to visit down in Texas, and we're basically snowed in half the time here until late March.

Thank you for the gracious offer of your home. I promise I am house broken, won't chew your shoes, and clean up after myself. :D

And I'm sure I don't have to tell you that the admiration goes both ways. SM is quite enamored of you as well.

-Kindred

softness

02-25-2008, 07:35 PM

[quote=Sophisticated1;2769776]LOL! humm well, 8-) I dunno, I can play a pretty good virgin, does that count? (a) LOL :|

Thats all Im saying now

:::one eyebrown goes up:::::Top Femme rises up out of the dark, in me....

yikes....gonna bite my tongue out of respect for Ms M and NHPB.... :P

Sophisticated1

02-25-2008, 11:02 PM

OH my! It just goes to show you the things I do and say in the name of dancing! lol

Oh by the softness, way how does a therapist cheer?

Oh Lady C Sparkle... what about: http://www.mydrobe.com/clothes/58467

you must admit it is an improvement no?

I should be working and I am researching shoes... there is something seriously wrong with me.

1, S1

boxergal46

02-26-2008, 05:15 AM

Good morning all :),
How the hell is everyone today so far. I am on my way to work (ackkkkkkkkk) and jumped on here real quick. # 1, I will be there tonight by the fireplace. # 2, A bowling date would be wonderful, although I have been known to slide down the lanes :$ because I weigh to much and sometimes cannot stop myself at the line. I am most of the time a gutter bowler, but its all in the company and just laughing and having fun. As far as those dredfully awful bowling shoes that everyone puts their feet in +o(, I personally bring a pair of socks and throw them away when I finish bowling. # 3, A brunch sounds wonderful on a Sunday morning. BTW, when is Pride day, I forgot, and need to be sick that day, lol. Well, I will see you's tonight at Whiggins, if anything changes, can you give me a call at wk Robin?
Thanks Boxer

msmoxie

02-26-2008, 11:20 AM

I feel your illness, boxer. I too must be "sick" on pride day. Dunno when it is.

As the P'op says, sick for pride is when you come down with RAINBOW FLU.
hee.
see ya'll later--with shoes du jour.
(and cute snow boots??)

Music, Lady C, DFD, and others we missed last week, hoping you can join.
xx mox

Good morning all :),
How the hell is everyone today so far. I am on my way to work (ackkkkkkkkk) and jumped on here real quick. # 1, I will be there tonight by the fireplace. # 2, A bowling date would be wonderful, although I have been known to slide down the lanes :$ because I weigh to much and sometimes cannot stop myself at the line. I am most of the time a gutter bowler, but its all in the company and just laughing and having fun. As far as those dredfully awful bowling shoes that everyone puts their feet in +o(, I personally bring a pair of socks and throw them away when I finish bowling. # 3, A brunch sounds wonderful on a Sunday morning. BTW, when is Pride day, I forgot, and need to be sick that day, lol. Well, I will see you's tonight at Whiggins, if anything changes, can you give me a call at wk Robin?
Thanks Boxer

softness

02-26-2008, 11:25 AM

[quote=Sophisticated1;2770082]OH my! It just goes to show you the things I do and say in the name of dancing! lol

Oh by the softness, way how does a therapist cheer?

"raw raw...its all issues to me" (rah rah shish kumbaaaa)

give me a one step! Follow thru with two step....(Give me a W....give me a I....)

LizSybarite

02-27-2008, 07:03 AM

Thanks to everyone for a great turnout last night - it was well worth braving the horrid slush falling from the skies. (Though I'm glad to see that I wasn't the only one who brought her shoes separately and wore boots on the way in and out!) I had a great time and laughed so much that I noticed that I had raccoon eyes by the time I got home (how come no one told me?!? LOL) Next time I'll know to wear waterproof liner - y'all are a riot! I really enjoyed the conversation and I'm sure to make Tuesday nights a regular occurrence. Miss Robin, I can't wait to see the photos you took!

I'm off to slurp down a few cups of coffee... could it BE any greyer outside? I'm getting a little bit tired of this...!

miss robin

02-27-2008, 03:45 PM

[quote=LizSybarite;2771289]Thanks to everyone for a great turnout last night - it was well worth braving the horrid slush falling from the skies.... I really enjoyed the conversation and I'm sure to make Tuesday nights a regular occurrence. Miss Robin, I can't wait to see the photos you took![quote]

Liz, it was great to see you last night! I loved our multiple conversations.

I posted a photo of us femmes and another of our shoes with a weird effect but I had to do that or else MsMoxie stylish boots were invisible in the dark.

Boxer, your imitation of the post office guy just about killed me. This afternoon I had "HEEELP youuuuu!" pop into my head. I don't think I'll be able to keep it together the next time I'm in there.

(And S1, fellow writer, I finished the article this afternoon despite finding a million reasons to do other things.)

Miss Robin

boxergal46

02-27-2008, 05:34 PM

Evening all :),
I also had a wonderful time last night, I loved when the ladies started to show their shoes. I new it was coming and I snickered under my breath when you's started showing them. I also must say that it is a very nice group that so far that attends. I love hearing Rob's adventures at work I get a kick out of it, and it so reminds me of mine but just 2 different buildings. So is there any more talk about bowling, divas, or a brunch? Well have to go eat (pi) and take a shower and go to bed. Night all
Boxer

msmoxie

02-27-2008, 07:24 PM

Cheers to the staff of the wig for once again hosting our soiree. We were a bit more, um, shall we say, rambunctious, this time around?;)

What a huge contrast to the meeting I just came from--tini night is WAY more fun. And me are soooooooooo much more stylish and witty than a bunch of nurses sitting around a boardroom table.

Miss Robin--HA. my stylish boots...one of these things is not like the other...

Until next time...mox

Sophisticated1

02-27-2008, 09:26 PM

Yes, fun was had at Wiggins once again. I have been enjoying all of the conversations and stories. I am glad folks made it though the lovely slushy, cold and rainy night. (um)

I do hope we didn’t get too loud or rowdy for a bit there. My S1 nature makes me go :| at loud sailor speak (just ask Ensign moxie! ;) Well she does sailor speak but sans the loud part) The other day she laughed at me for saying “oh darn it!” Because her exclamation in response to the same situations was ^&**#er! $% **&$#^er! LOL

Miss R. Glad you finished your work. I was putting the finishing touches on a project today and no sooner did I finish when I got a call for more work. So now I am running around like a nut again. Will be until end of March it seems.

Happy rest of the week to everyone!

1, S1

Lady C Sparkle

02-28-2008, 06:34 AM

Sophisticated1

02-28-2008, 06:50 AM

I. am. done. with. the. snow. now. 8o| It has been NON-stop precip this winter.
snowsnowrainsnowicesnowsleetfreezingrainsnowsnowsnowrainwetfeetallaround

...more to come Friday eve into Saturday a.m.... 3-6" up here.... god knows how it will impact my travel.

(o) its early, i've not had enough (c), i'm allll-ready-ready to run away to a (ip)

No. More. Snow.

stomp. strop. GRRRRRRRR. 8o|

Oh dear....

(c)....(f)... "It will be alright, baby" (the standadrd comfort line in the S1 householdI)don't know what else to tell you good Lady. :-*Perhaps you could go visit you know who in health services and see if they wont give some mood enhancing something or other to get you through the rest of the cold wet and snowies.

Take heart. Before you know it you will be basking in the sun and carrying on about beaches and swimming the lovely heat .... and I will be whinning about sweating and sunburns and not being able to go outside because it is too hot!

Hope you have a good day despite the forecast. Travel? Where are you off too?

Turn turn turn.....

1, S1

softness

02-28-2008, 09:18 AM

yes, BUT, snow is what kept me in NH town and allows me to stay another week....yay!

I am sorry I missed last Tuesday but I had no shoes to bring to the fan fare...

can I bring my muck boots? LOL. I am a farm-femme...

I love seeing nhpb's muck boots and my prissy farm boots side by side at the fire stove...i will take a photo of it and post it...

I cant seem to resize photos .... technical stuff makes me crazy...give me emotions to work with I am fine. Put me into a positiion where I have to work numbers or systems and I am lost...

I. am. done. with. the. snow. now. 8o| It has been NON-stop precip this winter.
snowsnowrainsnowicesnowsleetfreezingrainsnowsnowsnowrainwetfeetallaround

...more to come Friday eve into Saturday a.m.... 3-6" up here.... god knows how it will impact my travel.

(o) its early, i've not had enough (c), i'm allll-ready-ready to run away to a (ip)

No. More. Snow.

stomp. strop. GRRRRRRRR. 8o|

infinitblu

02-28-2008, 10:13 AM

Yo. Yo. Yo.

It's cold. i've just had a cancelation. now I'm standing at a computer station in a small women's liberal arts college contemplating the futility of existence. this may mean i need a sandwhich.

cheers to (just about) everyone for another lovely WiggiTini party. i had a blast, per usual.

And Miss Robin, thanks for raising the "Flirt With This One!" flag over my big blonde head. It's already working.

Lady C Sparkle

02-28-2008, 03:36 PM

Oh dear....

(c)....(f)... "It will be alright, baby" (the standadrd comfort line in the S1 householdI)don't know what else to tell you good Lady. :-*Perhaps you could go visit you know who in health services and see if they wont give some mood enhancing something or other to get you through the rest of the cold wet and snowies.

Take heart. Before you know it you will be basking in the sun and carrying on about beaches and swimming the lovely heat .... and I will be whinning about sweating and sunburns and not being able to go outside because it is too hot!

Hope you have a good day despite the forecast. Travel? Where are you off too?

Turn turn turn.....

1, S1

I'll skip the mood enhancing something or others, in exchange for Spring.
Spring & Autumn are good compromises between our weather-preferences, dontyathink?
Whyyyy can't we have more of those and less of the slush???? *whinge*

I'm going to be in the city ~ we have a charming string quartet concert in a SOHO apartment which apparently seats 150 easily :| (its gotta be some spectacular apartment) ...

The impending weather could either make it or break it, never mind the trains that will bring me home ...

*sigh* here's hoping!

Sophisticated1

02-28-2008, 05:18 PM

I'll skip the mood enhancing something or others, in exchange for Spring.
Spring & Autumn are good compromises between our weather-preferences, dontyathink?
Whyyyy can't we have more of those and less of the slush???? *whinge*

I'm going to be in the city ~ we have a charming string quartet concert in a SOHO apartment which apparently seats 150 easily :| (its gotta be some spectacular apartment) ...

The impending weather could either make it or break it, never mind the trains that will bring me home ...

*sigh* here's hoping!

Yes yes I agree, spring and fall. Lets do fun outdoor stuff then! I LOVE fall.

Wow sounds like a fun event. I do hope the weather doesn't keep you from it. Crossing my fingers for you!!

1,S1

msmoxie

02-28-2008, 08:10 PM

dear lady--i agree. slush is eeeewwwyyyy. i look forward to the part of spring after the ground dries up a bit....the initial muddy slippy squishy part is not so much fun.
tho perhaps an extra day in the city could be a good thing, should you decide to forgo the outgoing train....an extra day at the met browsing the treasures, the piano bar, the so not cafeteria cafeteria....safe travels. (l)

I'll skip the mood enhancing something or others, in exchange for Spring.
Spring & Autumn are good compromises between our weather-preferences, dontyathink?
Whyyyy can't we have more of those and less of the slush???? *whinge*

I'm going to be in the city ~ we have a charming string quartet concert in a SOHO apartment which apparently seats 150 easily :| (its gotta be some spectacular apartment) ...

The impending weather could either make it or break it, never mind the trains that will bring me home ...

*sigh* here's hoping!

miss robin

03-02-2008, 02:12 PM

Good afternoon everyone! I hope you're all having a nice day in the frigidity that is New England.

I called the Spare Time Bowling Alley. On Saturdays they have a 6-8pm All-You-Can-Bowl deal for 12 bucks. It features karaoke and "gallactic lights" :| (are these words you grew up with if you're over 8 years old?) They said Saturdays are generally not busy. It's open bowl and there aren't leagues that day.

So I'm going to throw out an idea and please feel free to tweak it:

Saturday, March 22

4pm ~~ Tea/coffee and sweets at Fiorentina Italian bakery (this is the only place I can think of that can accomodate a lot of people)

6-8pm ~~ Gallatica karaoke bowling!

8pm ~~ Dinner at a Chinese restaurant (because they can usually seat a lot of people on a Sat night)

10pm on ~~ Drinks and dancing at Diva's

directions for out-of-towners forthcoming when we figure out the plan
Miss Robin

Stone_to_bone

03-02-2008, 04:05 PM

Good god. One goes off to work and comes home to all sorts of exciting plans hatching. Thank you, honey, for putting all this together. I hope folks can make it.

Good afternoon everyone! I hope you're all having a nice day in the frigidity that is New England.

I called the Spare Time Bowling Alley. On Saturdays they have a 6-8pm All-You-Can-Bowl deal for 12 bucks. It features karaoke and "gallactic lights" :| (are these words you grew up with if you're over 8 years old?) They said Saturdays are generally not busy. It's open bowl and there aren't leagues that day.

So I'm going to throw out an idea and please feel free to tweak it:

Saturday, March 22

4pm ~~ Tea/coffee and sweets at Fiorentina Italian bakery (this is the only place I can think of that can accomodate a lot of people)

6-8pm ~~ Gallatica karaoke bowling!

8pm ~~ Dinner at a Chinese restaurant (because they can usually seat a lot of people on a Sat night)

10pm on ~~ Drinks and dancing at Diva's

directions for out-of-towners forthcoming when we figure out the plan
Miss Robin

msmoxie

03-02-2008, 07:33 PM

What fab social planning, per usual, Miss Robin!

I'm afraid i can not make the bowling fiasco, um, er, i mean, fiesta, that is to say...i am quite certain i would be one fine fiasco should i attempt to bowl--not that the event would be a fiasco! ahem ahem. allow me to clarify.

i may be able to join the dinner part.

stb and miss--what was that fab place in florence we went to that one eve with d1 and s1??? can they accomodate a large bunch??

and...not sure what the week holds for me. i think i am otherwise engaged this tini night. enjoy an end of a long day or a pomegranate tini for me, and please give M the bartender extraoidinaire my air kisses.

in other news...*sigh* an end of a long weekend....that's what this is. i took a sick day on friday and have recovered quite nicely with lots of zzzzs and extra special TLC from a certain sohisticate. BAH! back to work tomorrow.

I see the Lia-Stone to Bone wing has been completed, lights and furniture and people moving about inside....we missed the even on Fri eve. Hope it was a big hit.

S and I just saw The Other Bolyn Girl. I loved it, as did S....but my dear Mr Smellsgood (aka Tbear) insists the book is way better. I am sure it is...they usually are. As we were leaving I heard this exchange, which made me wrinkle up my face and think in such a curmedgeonly way "kidsthesedays!"
young girl, HS age, to middleaged woman: EWW. why would they do that?
woman: darling, it's history....(interrupted)
young girl: OMG--you mean that really happened?!
msmoxie:s:| and so....may she pass the MCAS.

Hoping we all are well and rested
--mox

miss robin

03-03-2008, 05:52 AM

I'm afraid i can not make the bowling fiasco, um, er, i mean, fiesta, that is to say...i am quite certain i would be one fine fiasco should i attempt to bowl--not that the event would be a fiasco! ahem ahem. allow me to clarify.

i may be able to join the dinner part.

stb and miss--what was that fab place in florence we went to that one eve with d1 and s1??? can they accomodate a large bunch??

MsMox, is it the day or the time of day that makes the Saturday event a problem? It's all switchable.

The "Lia Stone_to_Bone wing" lol! You should go visit Mister Bone in his new wing. It's fabulous!

Did we go to the Side Street Cafe? That's the only place the Bone and I go to in Florence. It's a left off main street where the Mobil Stn used to be, in the little strip with Zoom and Groom (the poodles' hair salon).

Miss Robin

miss robin

03-03-2008, 05:56 AM

Tomorrow night:

(b)(d)

March 4, 7:30pm
Hotel Northampton
Wiggins Tavern

Be there or be square. ;)

(y)(x)(z)(n)Please feel free to offer feedback about the bowling date above on the thread or PM me.

softness

03-03-2008, 07:33 AM

Ma'am...could you please ask this New England Weather to cooperate so I can come avisiting one more time before I head back to NW PA (for the last time! After that, I move!) ?

Soft

Tomorrow night:

(b)(d)

March 4, 7:30pm
Hotel Northampton
Wiggins Tavern

Be there or be square. ;)

(y)(x)(z)(n)Please feel free to offer feedback about the bowling date above on the thread or PM me.

Lady C Sparkle

03-03-2008, 09:05 AM

Good Monday Morning, Noho.

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend.

I did not get stuck anywhere due to the snow, though I did get very bad hair when trying to hail a cab in the icky*wet cold-rain/snow stuff that NYC had.

My event was fabulous.....the apartment we hosted in occupied the top 3 floors of a Soho warehouse building. The art collection was to die-for. I may have gasped audibly when I walked in and saw several orignal Colbert prints and 6' x 6' self-portrait painted by Schnabel (which I don't believe has ever been exhibited publically)....fab-u-lous. I was in art and urban-living heaven.

I also had the opportunity to have lunch at the Four Seasons Restaurant, for the first time; which was terribly-terribly(horribly) posh in that movers & shakers & dodgy deal makers ~ (white overprivledged male) ~ kinda-way. I kept waiting for Kissinger to walk in. Would it have been gauche to snap a picture on my mobile, had he?

In other news, we've now had three suspect messages left in classroom buildings around campus - threatening violence with a weapon. :|

While we've been notified of the messages and generally of their content, there has been absolutely no notification of what our 'emergency plan' is - should something horrible happen.

I will now proceed to work behind my locked office door and hope I don't need to make a quick escape (since my windows are painted shut) :| 8o| :| 8o| :|

Great to hear so many events in the works!!
Happy Bowling to one & all!!!

x C.

Lady C Sparkle

03-03-2008, 09:19 AM

Oooo meant to add:

if the whole threat of violence doesn't put you off ~

>>> THIS <<< (http://umass.edu/umhome/events/articles/72363.php) <----- (clickclick) is happening on campus tonight,
and it looks to be quite wonderful an event. I'm a huge fan of Langston Hughes!

msmoxie

03-03-2008, 06:58 PM

oh dear god.
i am just one person. don;t change the event on my account!
i will be away.
but thanks for the ego boost.;)

the chinese place i am thinking of is down further from side street. it's in a strip mall of all godforsaken places. they had angel wings or something like that with chicken and shrimp and eggplant.

i LOVE side street!!

MsMox, is it the day or the time of day that makes the Saturday event a problem? It's all switchable.

The "Lia Stone_to_Bone wing" lol! You should go visit Mister Bone in his new wing. It's fabulous!

Did we go to the Side Street Cafe? That's the only place the Bone and I go to in Florence. It's a left off main street where the Mobil Stn used to be, in the little strip with Zoom and Groom (the poodles' hair salon).

Miss Robin

msmoxie

03-03-2008, 07:01 PM

oh! for the love of bad hair and great art and horrendous emergency planning.

the number one problem with all emergency plans is....drumroll please....communication.

how ironic.remember last year when they drove the car with the speaker on top?!
flagship campus....of what?(n)8o|:@(w)

Good Monday Morning, Noho.

I hope everyone had a lovely weekend.

I did not get stuck anywhere due to the snow, though I did get very bad hair when trying to hail a cab in the icky*wet cold-rain/snow stuff that NYC had.

My event was fabulous.....the apartment we hosted in occupied the top 3 floors of a Soho warehouse building. The art collection was to die-for. I may have gasped audibly when I walked in and saw several orignal Colbert prints and 6' x 6' self-portrait painted by Schnabel (which I don't believe has ever been exhibited publically)....fab-u-lous. I was in art and urban-living heaven.

I also had the opportunity to have lunch at the Four Seasons Restaurant, for the first time; which was terribly-terribly(horribly) posh in that movers & shakers & dodgy deal makers ~ (white overprivledged male) ~ kinda-way. I kept waiting for Kissinger to walk in. Would it have been gauche to snap a picture on my mobile, had he?

In other news, we've now had three suspect messages left in classroom buildings around campus - threatening violence with a weapon. :|

While we've been notified of the messages and generally of their content, there has been absolutely no notification of what our 'emergency plan' is - should something horrible happen.

I will now proceed to work behind my locked office door and hope I don't need to make a quick escape (since my windows are painted shut) :| 8o| :| 8o| :|

Great to hear so many events in the works!!
Happy Bowling to one & all!!!

x C.