38 Ways To Tell You're In A Redneck Dungeon

[Starphyre]

I had to share this laughter, enjoy...
*grins*


How To Tell You're In A Redneck Dungeon:

1.Toys are displayed in wall-mounted gun racks.
2.The dungeon masters are Bubba and Bobbi Sue.
3.The hostess has bigger hair than Roseanne's ass.
4.The suspension rings are hung on the deer's antlers.
5.The neural wheel is missing a few teeth.
6.The interrogation chair is the rusted seat from a '68 Ford
pickup.
7.The cage is already occupied...by a pair of tick hounds.
8.There's an engine, lawn mower and rusted patio furniture
scattered throughout the play area.
9.The floor covering is hubcaps.
10.The suspension cuffs are foam beer can covers.
11.The branding irons have the same Flying ~W~ as on the cow
that was tied to the porch railing.
12.Coffee cans are strategically located on the floor to collect
spit.
13.The host refers to 'Y'all dominates and yer li'l critters'.
14.There is tobacco juice running down the sides of the candles.
15.There's a transmission in the body sling.
16. The spreader bars are made from the axles of the same '68
Ford that the interrogation chair came from.
17. When the Dom drives up in his pickup truck, his dog is lying
in the front seat, but his sub is riding in the dog-box in the
truck bed.
18. Humiliation play is having to wear a Jeff Gordon t-shirt...
and you're a Dale Jr. fan.
19. The Dom's favourite scene outfit is a pair of leather
overalls and a John Deere cap.
20. The safeword is "cut it out or I'm tellin' Ma."
21. A pair of pink flamingos brighten the dungeon decor.
22. The Dom intimately remembers the names of the cows which
supplied most of His leather for His toys and outfit.
23. The slave refers to her Master as Daddy, because He really
is.
24. Most of the canes look like recycled fishing poles.
25. The bull whip was actually used on bulls.
26. At least one of the suspension scenes involve an engine
hoist.
27. There's as least one piece of unfinished dungeon equipment
still on cinder blocks.
28. The Dungeon music is mostly Country.
29. The Dom's favorite paddle is the same one His daddy used to
use.
30. The fetish video library includes a copy of Deliverance.
31. Most of the slaves are related to their Masters.
32. The lube is made by Quaker State.
33. Toilet training has to be done outside the dungeon.
34. The restraints and chains were purchased at the local
military surplus store.
35. At least one piece of dungeon furniture is all black with
the number 3 on it.
36. You are being flogged to the sound of dueling banjos.
37. You hear a slave refer to her Master as Boss Hogg.
38. "Wal-mart is now closing" is acceptable as a safeword

[GemmeFemme]

...that I know people that this list DOES apply to. :$

[BlackLeather]

lmao

[Kyssme]

20. The safeword is "cut it out or I'm tellin' Ma."


OMG! Fucking hilarious!

[Letskeepitlite]

lol....... too funny

[Scamp]

::: laughing so hard ::: I know sooooooo many people that have to see this list!!!

Scamp

[svairini]

some people are "flagging" the confederate flag.

[sunny-dayze]

the blood hounds lay at the front door as security.

the potluck munchies consist of cornbread, pintobeans and pickled pigsfeet.

the slave is wearing momma's old housegown as lingerie.

[Elsbeth]

omg.. i am laffin so hard...


~jumping up and down waving to sunny-d... some of this reminds me of that contraption Yours was in... ~g~

[caroline_8]

(((Starphyre)))

my favorite:

13.The host refers to 'Y'all dominates and yer li'l critters'.

hee hee hee

[ange]

Originally posted by Starphyre
10.The suspension cuffs are foam beer can covers.


*LAAAAAUGHING*

[ange]

Originally posted by Starphyre
32. The lube is made by Quaker State.


* SLAMMING my legs together* :|

[The_Lady_Snow]

Originally posted by ange
* SLAMMING my legs together* :|

My belly hurts I laughed so hard!!
thanks for this thread!

[Starphyre]

((((Caroline))))

Im happy everyone is enjoying this thread, laughter heals the soul and nourishes the spirit *smiling*

sunny-daze and svairini thank you for the additions *laughing*

Blessings in light -=*=-
Star

[butchieNskyy]

*your tied up and they whisper Genitalia* and you immediatly think your about to be free riding home on an italian aircraft



You have to go outside to get
something out of the 'fridge.

Your dungeon doesn't have curtains,
but your truck does

If your floors are covered with oil slicks and grease stains, you just might be a dungeon master

[BlackLevis]

I have not laffed like this in ages......omGGGGG

(omg I have a bloodhound too.....oh no....)

[GemmeFemme]

...I was wonderin'.....is that a bug zapper in the corner over yonder?

[TechnoFemme]

Nope, that there is flypaper/flystrips. None of that fluorescent technology for us folks.

[spiderlily]

Hey now, no dissin' military surplus stores - that bastion of leather inspiration. And gun racks and deer antlers make into nice toys as well as display and storage options. And eat yer hearts out, cuz me & my sub have John Deere hankies. True!

#'s 15 &16 are really good ideas. Thanks for the suggestions!

#'s 21, 22 & 24 - I know those women! Have you been over there too? Fishing rods are real motha fu**ers.

And the bull whip. OK, I had one 10 footer that actually HAD been used on bulls. It was a favorite. The whip, not the bull. Gave it away when I moved to the city cuz there wasn't enough swingin room up there. Wisht I had it back though now that I'm back in the woods.

Oh, and I never saw Deliverance, but I'm told my neighbors look just like the main characters.

Engine hoists work good, by the way. And "Wal-mart is now closing," that's fabulous. Why didn't I think of that?

Again, thanks for all your helpful suggestions.

We don't get out much & do appreciate input from ya'll city folks.

[subbiegrrl]

i'm just glad that i'm not *that* country... boi howdy... although i did imagine the recycled fishin rods when i read it and wondered how bad it would sting...

[aurora]

LOLOL Master Bren's boi will squeeeel like a girly when I show hym the punishment for Ernhart fans!!!LOLOLOL
Great thread...LOLOL...sounds somewhat like our farm. *G*G*G* But ya have to agree a large hayloft is a great place to play with bull whips, buggy whips, and suspension ANYTHING. LOLOLOL and sm in a trailer park is kinda like a normal Sat. night!

aurora

[TexasCowboi]

GAWD...... TOO FREAKIN' FUNNY.....

[SpinxxieFairy]

OMG That was beautiful.. It hurts to laugh anymore... being from "cattle country" myself.. it hurts..snort giggle....now I was wondering what kinda mudflaps Hys truck would have???...giggles.. ooooh.. dang that felt good..

Y'all have a great day!!!


(*) (S) (*) (S) SpinxxieFairy (*) (S) (*) (S)

[BenInTexas]

found this and believe it is due a renewed read for everyone... Laffing My everloving ass off over here... thank you, babygirl *G*

[Words]

Okay, I'm skeered, I'm really, really skeered...

Now Daddy (no relation, honest!) is threatening to beat me to country...and I said I'd never use my safeword :(

WERDS

[Words]

some people are "flagging" the confederate flag.

LOL...

OMG, I haven't laughed so much in a thread for ages...this really is funny stuff...

Words

[Hobbit]

This did make me giggle!! REALLY!!

and some of the things weren't so out of the ordinary... HOW scarey is THAT?

I am going to HAVE to figure out how to get a Quaker State sticker off of the bottle and onto my LUBE though... THAT IS FUNNNNNNNNY!!


Jaime

[ascarletpimpernel]

Ah, Well at least "Walmart is now closing" works to bring up walmart and thus, kill the mood :3

[spiderlily]

Hobbit,

Of course some of those things are ordinary. We live in New Mexico. You've been to those parties. The John Deere hat is for when you're DRESSED UP.

Military surplus store? Of course. Hey, feed stores got a lotta good stuff too.

Ya'll don't use Quaker State?

[Re]

This is the best Ive read so far. Thank you so much for sharing. Foam beer can covers? Ya mean can huggers? Ive got those round here somewhere (y)

[SpinxxieFairy]

If yer in a redneck dungeon it gives cattle prod a whole new meaning!

[femmegirrl]

too funny!!!!!!

[Allison W]

As someone whose family actually did most of the shopping at Wal*Mart, I was terribly amused by this. Especially by #38. Every time I see a Wal*Mart, I'm going to be thinking of a bunch of hicks gettin' jiggy with it in a dungeon. :(

Sorry if anybody beat me to any of these:

...As punishment, the slave is made to eat the Master's momma's cookin' while having what's in it described in clinical detail.

...The ponyslaves are trained alongside actual ponies.

...One slave has to be driven 40 miles in the bed of a pickup truck to the nearest clinic after an accident involving the use of a milking machine as a torture device.

...The attendees wear hot pants and corsets made out of flannel.

...The floggers are made of recycled mud flaps.

...The "dungeon" is painted red and white on the outside.

...The Mistress can be witnessed to whack a disobedient slave's cage with a wooden spoon, telling them "Y'all get back in thar now!"

Oh well, I tried. :)

[NYFemmie]

The floggers are made of recycled mud flaps.

The Mistress can be witnessed to whack a disobedient slave's cage with a wooden spoon, telling them "Y'all get back in thar now!"

Oh well, I tried. :)

OH--MY--GAWD! THIS was hysterical, LMAO.

[NYFemmie]

This thread made me laugh so hard - thank you - these were the ones that got me the most...


2.The dungeon masters are Bubba and Bobbi Sue.

3.The hostess has bigger hair than Roseanne's ass.

4.The suspension rings are hung on the deer's antlers.

13.The host refers to 'Y'all dominates and yer li'l critters'. <--oh, this was funny...

15.There's a transmission in the body sling.

18. Humiliation play is having to wear a Jeff Gordon t-shirt... and you're a Dale Jr. fan.

19. The Dom's favourite scene outfit is a pair of leather overalls and a John Deere cap.

20. The safeword is "cut it out or I'm tellin' Ma." <-- okay, now this one made me spit out my coffee, lol

23. The slave refers to her Master as Daddy, because He really is. :|

30. The fetish video library includes a copy of Deliverance. <--teehee

32. The lube is made by Quaker State.

36. You are being flogged to the sound of dueling banjos. <-- ROFLMAO, now I have that stuck in my head, thanks.

37. You hear a slave refer to her Master as Boss Hogg.

[DivaTX45]

What a SCREAM!!!!! I also know people like this, BUT.....

~You'll know (fer shure) that cher in a redneck dunjun if'n you see my ex in there munchin' on her bag o' Feed 'N' Seed :|


~Diva (8)

[spiderlily]

Diva - are you really from Texas? That one was scarey accurate with the brand name and all.;)

Mud flaps. What a great idea! I do have a toy made out of that edging they put around truck refrigerator doors. Gives a good whump, that one does.

I also used tire chains one time. Bruised somethin' fierce. OK, I wrapped them in a hand towel first, but it's the thought that counts. They were kinda heavy to swing though.

Ya'll oughta come out to NM sometime. We got good play parties out here.

Now kitchen utensils and chain saws I've only heard of up in Seattle. I lived up there for 12 years. Good parties up there too! No, she didn't actually USE the chainsaw. Just background music. I'd a safeworded outta that one! Even as background music! I've worked with chainsaws and don't trust the little buggers at all. They do use staple guns, though. Autoclave 'em first. Not kidding.

Anyways, I'll get back to makin' that flannel corset. Do the colors of the plaid signify anything?

[L.A. Femme]

That is frickin hilarious.... now I'm scared someone's going to get 'ideas'.

[Tranzman]

Lmao! :| ;)

[SpinxxieFairy]

OMG that was fabulous, keep 'em coming.. and where's the spam???

[NYFemmie]

What a SCREAM!!!!! I also know people like this, BUT.....

~You'll know (fer shure) that cher in a redneck dunjun if'n you see my ex in there munchin' on her bag o' Feed 'N' Seed :|


~Diva (8)

um, that warranted an .... ACK :|

[turino]

This is just side splittingly funny...

I think I could use a few of these items:|

[DivaTX45]

um, that warranted an .... ACK :|


Just ONE "ack"????? I'm STILL acking! "Bert.....hairball.....aisle 3!!"


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{NYF}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I miss You! :| "Roused"? Or AR-roused? <wefg>



~Diva (8)

[spiderlily]

Spam? A scene with spam? Now that's kinky.

In Seattle they have an annual spam carving contest.

It rains a lot there. Makes people weird I guess.

[Starphyre]

It has been awhile, anyone have any new ones?

Star -=*=-