First gay weddings in SF include B-F couple!

[Leathergirlbella]

E-mail Rachel Gordon at rgordon@sfchronicle.com.
the article (http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/02/12/GAYMARRIAGE.TMP&type=universal)

The pic of the B-F couple *yaaay for white dresses!!!* (http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object.cgi?object=/chronicle/pictures/2004/02/13/ba_rally13db181.jpg&paper=chronicle&file=GAYMARRIAGE.TMP&directory=/c/a/2004/02/12&type=universal)


Lesbian couple wedded at SF City Hall
Women had been together for five decades


History was made at 11:06 a.m. today at San Francisco City Hall when Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon took their wedding vows, becoming the first same-sex couple to be officially married in the United States.

(By mid-afternoon, at least 15 same-sex weddings were performed and officials issued about a dozen more marriage licenses to gay and lesbian couples, the Associated Press reported.)

Mabel Teng, the city's assessor-recorder, officiated over the first ceremony, inserting the phrase "spouse for life'' in place of "husband'' and "wife.''

"This is a very significant day for Del and Phyllis and for all of us witnessing this historic ceremony,'' Teng said before the couple recited their vows.

About 20 people witnessed the ceremony; many of them were moved to tears as the couple, who have been together for five decades, were wed.

The wedding came just two days after Mayor Gavin Newsom announced that he wanted San Francisco to take the lead in bestowing the same marriage rights to gays and lesbians as are awarded to straight couples, saying he is duty-bound to fight discrimination.

The landmark wedding, the first of many expected to be held at City Hall today, is sure to set off a legal challenge. City officials, in fact, rushed to issue the first marriage licenses to same-sex couples as quickly as possible for fear that opponents would seek a court injunction to stop them. Officials alerted only a handful of people that they were ready to act, wanting to keep it secret until the papers were signed and the "I do's'' were spoken.

The decision was made late Wednesday night, and the clerk's office spent this morning amending the marriage license documents to reflect the change.

In place of "bride'' and "groom'' on the application were the words "1st applicant'' and "2nd applicant.''

After Martin, 83, and the 79-year-old Lyon were declared spouses for life, three other couples were lined up, awaiting their turn to take marriage vows.

Lyon, who will celebrate her 51st anniversary with Martin on Saturday, Valentine's Day, got a call Wednesday from Kate Kendell, executive director of the National Center for Lesbian Rights, asking her if she'd be willing to take the plunge.

"I asked Del and she said OK," Lyon said. The San Francisco couple isn't new to being firsts. They have been at the forefront of the lesbian rights movement for decades.

"We didn't really think about this before, because we didn't think it was possible," Lyon said. "Now, so much has changed ... and everyone's working so hard to get gay marriage. It didn't seem right to say 'no.' "

[Simcha]

The picture of the B-F couple is great however I think the best is the pic of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon......it speaks volumes!

Mazel tov to all the couples who married yesterday but especially to Del and Phyllis.......tomorrow is their 51st Anniversary!

[ALovedTomboy]

okay, how sweet is that news now?!!




congrats & best wishes for many many more happy times!

[shadowboi]

After 50 years too! So sweet to see!!!

[drvnsnow]

I just loved the photo of Phyllis and Del. 51 years is an awesomely amazing feat. I am so impressed by them. I hope in 43 more years I'll have a photo like that with Bruno.

The butch/femme couple was cute as hell too!

[LadyMenyce]

As we sat and watched the news last night, we saw clips of Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon after their ceremony. My partner and I were both in tears and now we're planning our wedding... after 6 years together!!

[Toughy]

Del and Phyliss are ICONS in the liberation movement and it is only fitting that they should be the first couple legally married in the United States.

It will remain to be seen if the 95 couples married yesterday and however many are married today remain legally married. An injuction is being filed in State Courts to declare them null and void. In case you don't know, CA passed a Defense of Marriage Act back in 1997 (I think). The Attorney General of the State of CA has said he is studying the issue and the Governor has said nothing. The City Attorney will go to court (along with all the LGBT civil rights lawyers) and support same-sex couple marriages.

The Mayor of SF....Gavin Newsom....is the one who started this and he is to be commended. By the way his director of public policy is a lesbian (who although not butch/femme totally gets it). Gavin also appointed the first woman Fire Chief in the country and also has appointed a woman Police Chief.

[drvnsnow]

Congratulations LadyM! I wish much happiness for you both!

[LadyMenyce]

Originally posted by Toughy
[B]It will remain to be seen if the 95 couples married yesterday and however many are married today remain legally married. An injuction is being filed in State Courts to declare them null and void. In case you don't know, CA passed a Defense of Marriage Act back in 1997 (I think). The Attorney General of the State of CA has said he is studying the issue and the Governor has said nothing. The City Attorney will go to court (along with all the LGBT civil rights lawyers) and support same-sex couple marriages.

Exactly why we didn't run to City Hall today. We're waiting to see if the injunctions take place. I sure as hell don't want it taken away from me when I marry that Butch of mine!!

[LadyMenyce]

Originally posted by drvnsnow
Congratulations LadyM! I wish much happiness for you both!

Thank you!!

[vanillasky]

i've been with khay now for 3 years and 4 mos.. it seems we've been together for a lifetime.. another 49 years to go.. that would be like 14 more lifetime!!!

i was talking to a guy friends one time.. we were talking what kind of wedding they wanted to have.. they went on saying it should be something really big and would be called wedding of the century and would be press released.. the asked me how i want it.. i just replied, " In any way that would make Khay my wife.. "

i'm just hopping that same sex marriages would be allowed here too!!!


for the lesbian couple who were wedded today..


CONGRATULATIONS and BEST WISHES...

you pushed through.. we made it!!!

[gayla]

Originally posted by Toughy
Del and Phyliss are ICONS in the liberation movement and it is only fitting that they should be the first couple legally married in the United States.

It had to be them. Just HAD to be! :D

Yeah, it was nice to see the b/f couple's pic but Del and Phyliss brought tears to my eyes too.

[gayla]

Originally posted by Toughy
Del and Phyliss are ICONS in the liberation movement and it is only fitting that they should be the first couple legally married in the United States.

It had to be them. Just HAD to be! :D

Yeah, it was nice to see the b/f couple's pic but Del and Phyliss brought tears to my eyes too.

[gayla]

I'm so damn excited I had to post that twice I guess! lol

[sinfulcindy]

What a great Mayor SF has!!!

the couples were tear jerking too for myself!!!

great to see in the paper..... front page today!! SF Mayor won round one in the courts on Friday!!!~


just me,
Sin(k)

[SweetBlueDiva43]

I just love Del and Phyllis and all they have done for us.......these two wimmen ROCK!..........

i just love them soooo much and am so happy for them....and for being so on top of it for the community as a whole.

So much of what we have today is because of wimmen just like these two...... committed wimmen......committed to the liberation of wimmen just like us.

Happy 51st Del and Phyllis!!!!!

[BEHEMETHBUTCH]

Del and Phyllis you both rock!!! Amazing story and I'm so glad it was them.

BB

[hestia]

Oh my God! This makes me so happy. I LOVE the picture of the older couple. How romantic. =)


hestia.

[daddeeq]

it is extremely cooooooooool to see a lesbian couple together for five decades.wow,big ups to all those who gut married.hopefully all states will recognise gay marriage.
be cool ya'll

[Elsbeth]

For all of us old GBLT activists who worked long, put our jobs on the line, who were fired for our beliefs, who were yelled and worse at, who walked the streets for the most basic of rights...

we have waited since the mid 70's for this...

and I for one am very proud today...

there is so much more work to be done and I pray the younger generation will take up the banners and put them selves out on the front lines.

[peas&carrots]

This is truly moving.

[KissMePlease]

Congratulations to Del and Phyllis..thank you for being such wonderful role models to all of us.


May you have 50+ more years together ahead of you!

Ms. Kelly

[Peregrine Magic]

(x)(z)(l)(x)(z)(l)(x)(z)(l)(x)(z)(l)(x)(z)(l)
I just got home from the big reception at the SF Hyatt-- at least 1800 people, maybe more-- for Del and Phyllis (and the rest of the SF newly weds). It was very moving to see them, tiny and old, finally having their day. I remembered reading Lesbian Woman as a teenager, when the book was just published, and how that book was the only connection to the Lesbian community for my lover and me. Then I looked around the room and saw that there were lots of older couples there, many butch-femme, who had been together for decades. It gives me hope about dyke relationships (which is saying a lot in my case (w)). I danced up a happy storm with tears in my eyes.

Peregrine
(k)

[LadyHilary]

(l) My Beloved Marine and I will be getting married Friday March 19th in San Francisco's City Hall!

We both are SF natives and have always been queer- we wanted to celebrate who we are and the intent we have in our lives and to make a stand for who we are and stand for what we know and Love.

(l)

[Toughy]

Best Wishes and Congratulations to Lady Hilary and Her Marine....

The Reception was unbelievable.......I never thought I would see this in my lifetime....when I came out, you had to have on 3 pieces of gender appropriate clothing or you could land in jail....shaking my head...

And sadly, today, the pResident shrub....came out totally in favor of a constitutional amendment protecting the sanctity of heterosexual marriage.......VOTE AND VOTE OFTEN!!!

[shadowboi]

Congrtulations Lady Hilary and your Marine!

Best wishes and a long happy life to you both! (l)

Jess

[selena2003]

Finally a picture of a couple that aren't twins and don't have mullets. This warms my heart. They look so happy!!

selena

[FireHeart]

LMFAO! :D

I'm not crazy for the L.A. Andro look either .... :s

[femana]

i love ALL of the pics...
so much love expressed OUT loud!

[Woodie69]

These pics just make me smile inside and out.

[shadowboi]

Letter to the president from Bette Midler:

Dear President Bush,

Today you called upon Congress to move quickly to
amend the US Constitution, and set in Federal stone a
legal definition of marriage. I would like to know
why.

In your speech, you stated that this Amendment would
serve to protect marriage in America, which I must
confess confuses me. Like you, I believe in the
importance of marriage and I feel that we as a society
take the institution far too lightly. In my circle of
family, friends and acquaintances, the vast majority
have married and divorced - some more than once.
Still, I believe in marriage. I believe that there is
something fundamental about finding another person on
this planet with whom you want to build a life and
family, and make a positive contribution to society. I
believe that we need more positive role
models for successful marriage in this country -
something to counteract the images we get bombarded
with in popular culture. When we are assaulted with
images of celebrities of varying genres, be it actors,
sports figures, socialites, or even oliticians who
shrug marriage on and off like the latest fashion, it
is vitally important to the face of our nation, for
our children and our future,
that we have a balance of commitment and fidelity with
which to stave off the negativity. I search for these
examples to show my own daughter, so that she can see
that marriage is more than a disposable
whim, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

As a father, I'm sure you have faced these same
concerns and difficulties in raising your own
daughters. Therefore I can also imagine that you must
understand how thrilled I have been over the past
few weeks to come home and turn on the news with my
family. To finally have concrete examples of true
commitment, honest love, and steadfast fidelity was
such a relief and a joy. Instead of speaking in the
hypothetical, I was finally able to point to these men
and women, standing together for hours in the pouring
rain, and tell my child that this is what its all
about. Forget Britney. Forget Kobe. Forget Strom.
Forget about all the people that we know who have
taken so frivolously the pure and simple beauty of
love and tarnished it so consistently. Look instead at
the joy in the beautiful faces of Del Martin and
Phyllis Lyon - 51 years together!

I mean, honestly Mr. President - how many couples do
you know who are together for 51 years? I'm sure you
agree that this love story provides a wonderful
opportunity to teach our children about the true
meaning and value of marriage. On the steps of San
Francisco City Hall, rose petals and champagne, suits
and veils, horns honking and elation in the streets; a
celebration of love the likes of which this society
has never seen.

This morning, however, my joy turned to sadness, my
relief transformed into outrage, and my peace became
anger. This morning, I watched you stand before this
nation and belittle these women, the thousands who
stood with them, and the countless millions who wish
to follow them. How could you do that, Mr. President?
How could you take something so beautiful - a clear
and defining example of the true nature of commitment
- and declare it to be anything less? What is it that
validates your marriage which somehow doesn't apply to
Del Martin and Phyllis Lyon? By what power, what
authority are you so divinely imbued
that you can stand before me and this nation and hold
their love to a higher standard?

Don't speak to me about homosexuality, Mr. President.
Don't tell me that the difference lies in the bedroom.
I would never presume to ask you or your wife how it
is you choose to physically express your love for one
another, and I defy you to stand before Del Martin and
Phyllis Lyon and ask them to do the same. It is none
of my business, as it is none of yours, and it has
nothing to do with the "sanctity of
marriage". I'm sure you would agree that marriage is
far more than sexual _expression, and its high time we
all started focusing on all the other aspects of a
relationship which hold it together over the
course of a lifetime. Therefore, with the mechanics of
sex set aside, I ask you again - what makes a
marriage? I firmly believe that whatever definition
you derive, there are thousands upon thousands of
shining examples for you to embrace.

You want to protect marriage. I admire and support
that, Mr. President. Together, as a nation, let us
find and celebrate examples of what a marriage should
be. Together, let us take couples who embody the
principles of commitment, fidelity, sacrifice and
love, and hold them up before our children as role
models for their own futures. Together, let us
reinforce the concept that love is about far more than
sex, despite what popular culture would like them to
believe.

Please, for the sake of our children, for the sake of
our society, for the sake of our future, do not take
us down this road. Under the guise of protection, do
not support divisiveness. Under the guise of unity,
do not endorse discrimination. Under the guise of
sanctity, do not devalue commitment. Under the guise
of democracy, do not encourage this amendment.

Bette Midler

[AtLast]

(x)(z)(l)(x)(z)(l)(x)(z)(l)(x)(z)(l)(x)(z)(l)
I just got home from the big reception at the SF Hyatt-- at least 1800 people, maybe more-- for Del and Phyllis (and the rest of the SF newly weds). It was very moving to see them, tiny and old, finally having their day. I remembered reading Lesbian Woman as a teenager, when the book was just published, and how that book was the only connection to the Lesbian community for my lover and me. Then I looked around the room and saw that there were lots of older couples there, many butch-femme, who had been together for decades. It gives me hope about dyke relationships (which is saying a lot in my case (w)). I danced up a happy storm with tears in my eyes.

Peregrine
(k)

.... and from tears of joy, come tears of grief, always a circle............. being with you at this event was almost as sweet as being an audience of one while you sang "At Last" to me on our anniversary after proposing to me. I have missed you since you told me to go (although, I understood). I miss you now, as you circle in death. You graced my life..........

[June2Pence]

.... and from tears of joy, come tears of grief, always a circle............. being with you at this event was almost as sweet as being an audience of one while you sang "At Last" to me on our anniversary after proposing to me. I have missed you since you told me to go (although, I understood). I miss you now, as you circle in death. You graced my life..........

This is beautiful. I only met her once in 2006. --June

[FemmEnNoir]

Del and Phyliss are ICONS in the liberation movement and it is only fitting that they should be the first couple legally married in the United States.



I wonder how many here remember the Daughters of Bilitis chapters? I attended the one in Boston with my partner at the time....was it really a lifetime ago?

Elle

[AtLast]

This is beautiful. I only met her once in 2006. --June
Thank you. I never entered this site while Susan & I were together, feeling it was her space, really. She had many kinships here and a profound understanding of the butch-femme dynamic. Now, I think it would be OK with her for me to be here. Asunta

[AtLast]

Oh, yes.... it was a lifetime ago, but we are still here!