WHO EXACTLY IS THIS SITE FOR?

Butch-Femme.com is primarily for Butches who are into Femmes, & Femmes who are into Butches. The focus is & always has been on that whole ying/yang of the Butch-Femme dynamic. Butch-Femme.com is a public web site, of course, so we are accustomed to a variety of queer, trans, & curious folk wandering in. For the most part, Respectful Queers who identify with other various descriptors are welcome, as long as the strong spirit of this Butch-Femme space is always honored.

I am interested in bringing folks together, of course, so it is my wish that we be tolerant & open with one another. In the 5 years Chris & I have been running this site, we have seen so many Butches & Femmes alienated by each other. That's sad, cuz it invalidates the community we are all building by being here together.

Discussions about what consitutes a "true" Butch or a "true" Femme can devastate good people if we aren't sensitive. When people are trying to come out as Butch or Femme, egos can be raw. Maybe Butches are born & not made, but don't negate a potential brother who has had different compromises on hys own journey. And if you are a Femme, don't be afraid to say, "I can fix a car" or whatver... Everytime you say who you really are, you bring strength & support to another. If we cannot secure safe space to talk about the whole picture of who we are, we will never see the real people behind these screen names. Our "stereotypical" masculine & feminine ways are always a source for amusement in our relationships & in our community, but we aren't caricatures! We are individuals.

Our established dialogue around gender is sometimes odd to the newcomer, but there is no "company line" on Butch-Femme.com. It is empowering to discover all the adjectives: stone Butch, tg Butch, FTM, "high alpha ultra Femme", etc, but there is no heirarchy. Also, it's ok if you identify as a Lesbian or a Feminist. I do, too! Butches do not have to be male-identified to fit into Butch-Femme culture. If you identify as a Butch woman, it does not necessarily indicate that you are a soft Butch. If you were born female but consider yourself transgendered or transexual, you are welcome here. It is up to you to decide and define how you fit into Butch-Femme space. Just speak up & say who you are! Words are both emotional & political, & we do have much to talk about. All we have online are our words. Wield yours carefully.

Some folks get real protective of this little niche we call ours, but I would also ask those who frequent my site to be welcoming to new people who find their way here. The best guideline to follow is to make sure whatever you put into Butch-Femme.com is helping to build community. The spirit and the philosophy of this site is about COMMUNITY BUILDING. If your contributions here add to our sense of family, you are right on target.

Afterall, that is what the site is all about. --- Written by Daddy Rhon